You Know What You Need to Do— So Why Aren't You Doing It?

21:20

21:20

You Know What You Need to Do— So Why Aren't You Doing It?

by Candice Alessia Berry

Rated

5

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

10

Here’s the honest truth: There is an area of your life where you know that you need to do something. There’s a niggle, a thought in the back of your mind, a little nudge telling you to just do that one thing. And if you just did that one thing, your whole life would be different. And that’s what today’s episode of the Wild Free Well podcast is all about. We’re diving straight into the question: What are you not doing that you know you need to do? Because it doesn’t matter who you are or where you are in your life, you’ve absolutely got an area of your life where you know better, but maybe you aren’t doing better just yet. This is the episode that will help you get there! N.B. This episode may contain course language.

Self Inquiry Personal Responsibility Intuition Self Sabotage Mindset Self Worth Confidence Self Care Spirituality Intuitive Guidance Confidence Building Spiritual Support

Meet your Teacher

Candice Alessia Berry

Florence, Metropolitan City of Florence, Italy

Meet your Teacher

Candice Alessia Berry

Florence, Metropolitan City of Florence, Italy

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Free Will podcast. Today's episode is going to be a really interesting and the question that I have to pose to you I think is going to sound is going to sound a little bit like a tongue twister to begin with but I think that this is going to be a really, Really, Really interesting episode which I say every time because I think they're all really interesting obviously or I wouldn't be here recording them but yeah. Okay, So the question that I want to ask you today is what do you know you need to do that you are not doing right now? So what do you know that you need to do that you are not currently doing in this moment? What do you know you need? What do you know you want? What do you know is necessary, Is relevant, Is important and you are not currently doing, Being, Living, Experiencing or embodying that thing? You're not giving that thing to yourself whatever it might be and this can cover like a whole range of things but I want you to think about any aspect of your life right now where you feel like you want or need something and you are not giving yourself that thing. Okay, I can give you examples. I'm going to give you, I'm going to tell, I'm going to share a personal story in a second but this is so difficult to like lean into in a kind of collective sense. The question that I'm asking is so deeply personal. It's so subjective. It's so just unique to you. Only you can know the answer to this question. No one else can know it for you. I can't know it for you. You know, Your family or friends can't know it for you. Like no one else knows that thing, That niggling, That idea that you have. There's something there beneath the surface that you know you need to be doing, That you know you need to give or gift yourself, That you know you need to open up to receive perhaps if we want to view it from another perspective, That you're currently not allowing yourself to receive, To have, To be, To embody or that you're actively not giving yourself, Okay? So yeah, I want you to, Before I dive into the example, I want to give you some of the questions that I wrote earlier. So like the thing here that we're talking about is the thing that would genuinely change the situation for you. So I want you to think about an area of your life where you're having some kind of experience, Whatever it is, Okay? Whether it's probably something between neutral and not great, Okay? So we're probably not having a great experience in this area of our lives. It's maybe a little bit more of like a neutral thing leaning towards something maybe a little bit more challenging, Okay? What is the one thing that you know because you always know, Because you always, Always, Always know. We don't like to know. We don't want to take responsibility for knowing, But we always know. What would make that situation better? The one thing that if you just did it, You know would make that situation better, Okay? This idea, This thing that would move you forward. I'm reading from my notes now. Like just whatever it is that you know would kind of move the needle forward, Okay? And then from that space. So we've thought about the scenario, The situation. We've thought about the thing that we know we need to do that we're not doing. And now I want you to take a deep breath and ask yourself this question. Why am I not doing that thing? Why am I not giving myself that thing? Why am I not allowing myself to receive that thing? Why am I not embodying that thing? Why am I not being that thing? Whatever it is, Okay? Whatever it is. And I want you to be really honest. Pause me, Please. Pause and really ask yourself this question and really take the time to answer it. Because again, And I'm going to say it again, And I will say it forevermore, Amen, Until the day I die, We are not here for spiritual entertainment. This podcast is not here because I'm just like here to delight and entertain you, Although I hope I do. We are here having this conversation because the situations are real. The techniques I'm giving you are real. They are useful. They are valuable. They are really fucking high level. So like lean into them and actually do the damn thing. Pause the video. I know I'm being mean now, But I'm doing it from a place of like deep love and care for you. But pause the video and then ask yourself the question. Because this question, Any of the questions on the podcast that I ask you, Any of the techniques that I take you through here could actually change your life if you let them. That is, For me, The absolute truth of this podcast. Every single episode is so full of goodness and juiciness and actual how-tos. That's one of the things that I really dislike about the personal development industry is that there's a lot of people that talk about like, You know, The ten things that you can do to get better, But then they never actually tell you how. They tell you ten things, But they don't necessarily tell you why those things are important or how they could actually help. Or sometimes they give you five situations that suck and then no way to get out of them. Here we are actually doing the work. We are actually talking about solutions. So pause the freaking video or the audio or whatever. Pause it and like ask yourself this question, Okay? Why am I not giving myself this thing? Why am I not doing what I know I need to do to move forward, Okay? To move forward, To feel better, To whatever it is, Okay? There's a million reasons why. There's always a million reasons why. And they could be very real, Very valid, Very, You know, Worldly reasons why you are not doing this thing. I'm tired. I don't have time. It's challenging. It's this. It's that. Yeah, Okay. And do you need this thing? Like, Do you know that this is the thing that would move you forward, That would change things, That would shift this situation? Like, Do you have that inner calling? Because if you do, Then you really need to assess why you're not giving this thing the importance that it deserves. And you're not giving yourself the importance that you deserve by giving yourself this thing, Okay? Right now we've been talking in a very vague sort of way. But now I'm going to give you guys an actual example. But the whole point of this is genuinely to move you from I don't know, Which is always a lie, Always a lie, Because if you don't know, I hate to break it to you, But no one else has an effing clue. If you don't know how to move you forward, If you don't know what you want, If you don't know these things, Then no one else on God's green earth can possibly know it for you. Obviously, If you have a connection to a higher power, If you are somebody who is spiritual or religious and you communicate with your higher power, Whatever the name is, I don't really care. To me it's irrelevant. I think we're all leading. All paths lead to Rome. I feel like all of these are different ways to get to the same thing, To get to the same place, Okay? So if you have a relationship with your higher power, Then you may feel like you don't know, And then you have someplace else that you could tap into. So if that's something that speaks to you, You could also have a conversation with whoever or whatever it is that you believe in and ask too, Like, Okay, I feel like I don't know. Guide me, Help me, Support me, Lead me to an answer that is of the highest good for all involved and all of these things. You have resources available to you that you can reach out to as well, Which is amazing, And we can make use of those as well. But I would argue that even still, When you say that you don't know, It is more about not wanting to know, Not being ready to know, Than the actual not knowing. I'm going to say that again because I think it's really important. When we say that we don't know, It is almost always more about the not wanting to know or not being ready to know than the actual not knowing itself. Sometimes the thing that we know we need or we want or is the next right step or whatever feels big and scary and beyond us, And we don't want to accept the challenge or the responsibility of giving that thing to ourselves because it is probably something that is a bit of a leap outside of your comfort zone or it is something that feels like maybe it's a lot of work. Maybe it's something that feels like it's a lot of work, And again, It doesn't have to be. It never has to be a lot of work. It never has to be hard. That's all a story that we're buying into and that we're choosing to make real, That we're choosing to perpetuate, Right? And for any help on that, There's like a million other episodes of the podcast where we talk about the actual mindset work of reframing those stories, Right? But none of that has to be true. But it can feel scary to know. It can feel scary to know because when you know better, Now you have to do better, Right? When you know more, Now you have more available to you that you need to take into consideration as you make your next move, Okay? So you can no longer play ignorant. When you know, All of a sudden the game changes and the responsibility gets upped and you're being called on to be sovereign and to be really in charge of yourself and who you are and the way that you're showing up in the world, And that can be like a bit of a pill. It can be something that we don't really want to dive into, That we don't really want to take responsibility for. I feel you deeply on a human level. I get it. But it's necessary because that's what gets us to where we want to go. That's the thing that kind of moves us forward. And I would argue this is also part of the basis of like a really, Really solid foundation in terms of self-worth and self-love because when you know and you do the thing that you know, You're building confidence every single time. The more that you are willing to know, The more that you're willing to take action on what you know to be true, The more that you are willing to show up for yourself and give yourself what you need, The more that you build confidence in the background of your life. And it's something that you're doing just by virtue of showing up for yourself. It's not an exercise that you have to actively partake in. It's not something that you're thinking about. The more that you do these things, The more that you give yourself what you need, You show up for yourself, You automatically build confidence and that confidence carries you forward as well. So there's a whole lot going on here, Obviously. Okay, Example time. It's going on about like two months now that I know that I have needed a break. Capital A, Capital B, I need a break. I need to get out of town. What do I mean by, Yeah, And I think I need to really be clear about that. It's not that I've been working a lot more. It's not that like anything has been, I mean, There have been things going on in my personal life, Some stuff with my partner's family and like just like some logistical things that we've had to kind of move through and whatever and that's fine, But it's not necessarily directly linked to that. I can feel in my heart of hearts beyond shadow of a doubt that I need to get the hell out of town just for a little bit and that's it. That's the end of story. I know that my next right move is to get the hell out of town for a little bit and I have things planned for next week. I have things planned for a couple weeks from now. I have things planned for a couple months from now, But like over the last couple of months, I have heard that call so strongly and I have not been able to give myself that thing for very many real-world reasons, Okay? The reasons are not invalid necessarily. They're just constantly less important than the very real need, Nudge, Guidance, Intuitive hit, Whatever you want to call it, Of me needing to get out of town because I have known this thing for two months and I've not been, I'm saying two months. No, Yeah, It is. Yes, It is. It is. It's two and a half months. No, Calling myself out in front of all of you. Yeah, Two and a half months. I've known this for two and a half months and I have not been able to give it to myself, But even then, Not been able to. Like, Yes and no. I've not been able to and also I don't know that I've made enough of an effort to give that to myself because the situation that I find myself in where there's like family stuff going on, That responsibility could have easily fallen to somebody else had my partner and I set up better boundaries, I think, And we did not do necessarily a great job of that because we had things that we wanted to do and ways that we wanted to show up for our family as well that were perhaps contradictory to the discussion of us needing to go away. So what I mean by that is we wanted to do some things for the family that required us to be here and so in order, We can't obviously be here and be someplace else at the same time. Yet. We haven't found a way to teleport yet. But I look forward to the day when that is a thing. I will be honest with you. So yeah, I know that I've needed this and I have not been putting myself in a position to actually give it to myself and one of the reasons why is because of these stories, These very real things, You know what I mean? We had family stuff going on and there was work to be done and the weather has been bad so going away was not really, Yeah, You're going away, But maybe you're not going away to, You're not going to enjoy it very much or I felt to a certain extent that maybe we were going from one house to another house or one house to a hotel and we weren't going to be able to necessarily make the most of our time and then we had a bunch of things that we needed to do for other people as well. So we have some friends getting married at the end of the month. We have dinners and bachelorette parties and all of these things and so there's been a lot of stuff going on that have kind of gotten in the way of us just getting out of dodge and I know that I've needed to do that and I have been taking care of myself and I have been showing up for myself in a really good way. All the things that I always do and more to be honest with you because I'm back on the Kundalini train doing yoga every morning, Been a little bit like on and off with meditation, Doing rest practices, Like I'm doing all of the things and still it just doesn't feel like I'm necessarily recharging and it's because the guidance and the intuitive hit around the recharging is you need to get out of this situation. Like you need to go and get like, You know, You need to breathe fresh air. You need to have a change of scenery and so I have planned to give myself that in the way that I felt was possible given the circumstances but I think that I could have tried a little bit harder or maybe reworked some things in another way or found another way to look at the situation perhaps so reframing it like we do with mindset work or potentially looking for another solution and I don't know if I did a great job of just necessarily doing that even though doing all the other things, Even though there's other stuff coming in the future but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt and I know still in this moment that the answer is on the other side of me changing, Getting a change of scenery. It's so beyond necessary in this particular moment and so that's what I mean when I say to you where are you, You know, Not doing the thing that you know you need to do? Where are you not giving yourself the thing that you know you need? The thing that you know is the next right step to unlock the next right step on your path of whatever it is and this applies to every area of your life. Whenever we're talking about mindset, This is like kind of the beauty and like the kind of frustrating part about mindset is that it touches on every area. There is no area of your life that is exempt to the conversation that we're having right now. Okay, So maybe you know you need something in health or business or career or in your family life or in your personal life or in your exercise routine or in your rest practices or in your self-care or whatever it is. Maybe it's travel. Maybe it's like, I don't even know. What did I not name? Like there is no area of your life that this cannot touch. So where do you know that you need something and you're not currently showing up for yourself with that need? Okay, By kind of giving yourself what you need or what you want and why is that? A lot of the times too, Because like when, Okay, Yes, There are real world issues. Yes, There are real world reasons why we may not be able to. Logistics and family stuff and scheduling and organizing and weather and all the things that I said in the story that I shared as well. But then beneath the surface of that, There can also be a discussion of, Well, I just don't deserve that or like, You know, Now's just not the right time or why should I do that when there's so many other things to do? You know, I already have so much on my plate. How can I possibly think about XYZ? Whatever it is. Like I could say that, No. Like I have so much going on right now. How could I possibly think about going away? And I think that I did to a certain extent do that because of the stuff that was going on with the family and the things that we were like trying to take care of here. And then also the weather. Like, I mean, There's so much here happening here. It's multi-layered because maybe if the weather had been better, I would have been more like, Okay, You know what? We'll find a way to like make this work. But because the weather was bad and it didn't feel like there was enough of a payoff or a kickback from going away, Like it made it easier to just kind of stay here and like take care of the family and do the things that needed to be done. So like there could be a million reasons why, But underneath that, There may be a sneaky limiting belief of, Oh, Well, I just don't deserve that. Or, Oh, That's for other people, But it's not for me. Or, You know, Whatever. I can't possibly have that. I can't possibly do that. I can't possibly be that kind of person or whatever the story is. There could be a million things floating beneath it. And I want you to also pay attention to that and then go back to another episode where we go through the process of reframing limiting beliefs and really take a look at what you've uncovered. So you've uncovered this limiting belief. Oh, You know, That's for other people, But that's not for me. Or I could never do that or whatever it is. And then go through the process. Like, Is that actually true? Like, Of course it's not true. Why somebody else and not you? Why not you just to begin with? Why not you, Right? So we know that that's not true. And then go through the process of reframing them. There's a million episodes. We talk about mindset like literally every week. So you'll find what you're looking for. But yeah, So that's where I'm going to leave you today. Where are you not doing the thing that you know you need to do? Where are you not giving yourself the thing that you know you need to give yourself? And why are you not giving it to yourself? What is on the other side of that? What are you afraid of? What's under the surface there? What story are you telling yourself about why you can't or you don't deserve it or whatever? Okay? Yeah. I hope this episode was useful for you. I hope that you find a way to give yourself what you need and what you want and what you are being called towards and all of that good stuff. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for engaging. If you loved this episode, Please follow and leave a comment and share it with your friends and all of that good stuff. Oh no, I have to sneeze. Sorry. If this episode resonated with you and you'd like to engage with me more. . . No, I have to sneeze again. Good Lord. If you liked this episode and you'd like to engage with me more, You can find me in the Wild Freewell space on Insight Timer. I would love to have you there. You can ask me questions and submit questions for the podcast and all that kind of good stuff. If that speaks to you, Then find me there. And if not, I will see you on the next episode of the podcast. Have the best weekend. Ciao.