Let's start with the self-exploration.
This is an open eyes self-enquiry.
Keep your eyes open,
Keep your mirror in front of you,
Alternatively you can sit next to a big mirror if you have one in your room.
Look at the mirror.
Carefully examine the reflection in the mirror.
Look carefully at the form of the reflection in the mirror.
Look at the shape and size of the reflection.
There is a Rupa in front of you.
Rupa means form.
You have given it a naam,
A name.
There is Naam Rupa in front of you.
You have a memory of this Naam Rupa.
Look at the smoothness of the skin,
The lines,
The wrinkles,
The graying hair,
The falling hair,
No hair,
Color of the eyes,
Shape of the face.
Isn't it all simply memory?
Now close your eyes.
Do you recognize that the world consisting of the mirror and the reflection are at your mercy?
The world consisting of the mirror and the reflection are at the mercy of you seeing them through the eyes.
If you do not see,
You do not know if the world exists or not.
You can only assume that it is there,
But it may or may not be so.
The assumption is never the truth.
Now open your eyes again.
The world consisting of the mirror and the reflection reappears.
Close your eyes.
The form of the world disappears because the form of the world is at your mercy.
Similarly,
If all our senses could be closed,
If the ears could be closed,
The world would disappear.
Ekta's voice would disappear because Ekta's voice is at the mercy of you hearing her through the ears.
Similarly,
If the nose had a lid,
The world of smell would disappear.
The world of smell is at your mercy.
If the tongue could be completely closed,
The world of taste would disappear because the world of taste is at your mercy.
Remember,
Right now you can still taste the saliva in your mouth.
So you cannot say that it is completely closed.
Similarly,
For the skin,
If sensations could completely be lidded or blocked or closed,
The world of sensation would disappear because it would be at your mercy.
Now who is this you?
Who is this I?
The world is at the beck and call of I.
Who is this I?
I recognize that the world is at my mercy.
There is no reality to this world without me.
I come first.
But who is this I?
Close your eyes.
Look within.
Stay within.
There are thoughts arising and passing away.
There is no possibility of the existence of a thought without me.
I come first.
There are sensations arising and passing away.
There is no possibility of the existence of a sensation without me.
I come first.
Similarly,
Feelings are arising and passing away.
There is no possibility of the existence of a feeling without me.
I come first.
So all in all,
There is no possibility of perception,
Sensation,
Thought or feeling to arise or exist even without me.
I come first.
The world is nothing but perception of sight,
Sound,
Smell,
Taste and touch plus thought,
Feeling and sensation.
There is nothing else to this world.
That means there is no possibility of the existence of the world without me.
I come first.
As a newborn baby,
I did not have any concept of God.
I came first.
Then came the world.
Then came some concept of God taught to me by somebody in this world.
The concept of God came after me.
I came first.
I come first.
Then comes the idea of a guru.
The concept of a guru comes from the world.
I come first.
Therefore,
If there is a God,
If there is a guru,
It is only me because it comes from me.
If there is a world,
It is only me because it comes from me.
Slowly,
Open your eyes and look at the reflection again.
This is the world.
Close your eyes again and turn towards yourself.
Turn towards yourself means turn the arrow of attention towards the inside,
Beyond the thoughts.
This is who I am.
I am that which is beyond the sound of these words.
I am that which is beyond the thoughts.
Let's open our eyes again and look at the reflection.
If I indulge in the world,
Then I get trapped by the belief that that reflection is me.
I become the prisoner of this world if I indulge in the wrong belief that that reflection is me.
Now look closely at that reflection,
Pointing a finger outwards towards it.
You can point your finger outwards towards it.
And ask yourself,
Is that me?
Now close your eyes and turn the finger 180 degrees towards yourself.
And ask yourself,
Or is this me?
You can repeat that a couple of times.
Is that me?
Or is this me?
When you find the answer,
Close your eyes and look inwards now.
If a thought,
Sensation,
Perception or feeling arise,
Look at that and ask yourself,
Is that me?
Or turn inwards,
180 degrees inwards towards the subject and ask,
Is this me?
Let the I that was asking the question,
Turn towards itself.
Let it dissolve.
Recognize that the I dissolves and comes back to life again.
Again it dissolves and again it comes back.
Recognize that the I has a manifested subtle form.
The I arises from the nothingness that is unmanifest.
The manifest arises from the unmanifest.
The unmanifest is first.
The manifest arises from the unmanifest.
The unmanifest is first.
The unmanifest is formless.
The manifested I has a subtle form.
So formless gives birth to subtle form.
From nothingness,
The subtle form of I is born every now and then.
And it dissolves back into the nothingness every now and then.
So from formless comes subtle form.
The subtle form dissolves back into formless.
From the unmanifest comes the manifested I.
And the manifested I dissolves back into the unmanifest.
When I open the eyes and look at the reflection in the mirror,
That is the gross form.
So from the unmanifest arose the subtle form first and from the subtle form came the gross form.
When I close my eyes,
The gross form dissolves into the subtle form.
And the subtle form in turn dissolves into the formless.
You can experiment by opening and closing your eyes and seeing the transition from formless to subtle form to gross form.
And then from gross form back to subtle form back to formlessness.
So what is my true nature?
My true nature is the formless and unmanifest nothingness.
I am nothing.
I cannot even say I.
There is nothing.
An alive emptiness.
An alive stillness.
Brahman Satyam Jagat Mithya Only Brahman is the highest truth.
The world as I conceive of it is an illusion.
The I comes first.
God and his projection of the world comes afterwards.
I am first.
The place that the I occupies is my own right.
It has not been given by God.
God comes afterwards.
I appears first.
I am first.
Even the sense of I is not continuous.
That also dissolves into the unmanifest nothingness.
That unmanifest nothingness.
That alive and conscious emptiness.
That is the true I.
Which is devoid of the stirrings of the fake illusory I.
I am Brahman.
In reality there is no I.
So correctly put,
There is only Brahman.
Brahman Satyam Jagat Mithya
