Today we're going to be talking about boundaries.
We might hear this word often,
But what does it really mean?
What are boundaries?
Boundaries can be thought of as the limits that we set.
They are like your personal shield of protection.
A line that separates you from the outside world and the people and things in it.
Our boundaries help us to define how we spend our precious resources.
Things such as time,
Money and our freedom of course.
The good news is you have total control and responsibility over you,
Your feelings,
Your thoughts and your life.
Unfortunately,
You have zero control over other people,
How they show up or act,
The challenges that life presents and other things like the weather,
The news,
The traffic for example.
So why is setting boundaries so important?
Well,
Boundaries keep us safe from burning out.
They protect our physical and mental wellbeing.
They allow us to show others how we would like to be treated and what's acceptable.
Whenever you're setting boundaries,
You can feel empowered in the knowing that you are taking good care of yourself.
You are respecting yourself and therefore teaching others how to respect you.
You are encouraging healthy relationships.
When you set boundaries,
You enable them to do so as well.
You are communicating your needs and owning your experience.
I like to think about boundaries as a house that we build around ourselves.
This house provides us with the external protection from the world and others.
Much in the same way that we have a home for shelter and protection from the weather,
To be safe,
To take care of ourselves,
To have our own private solitude away from the outside world.
You live in this house and this house only.
Other people live in their houses.
In your house,
You get to decide if you keep the doors shut and the windows closed.
You get to decide if you need them locked.
You get to decide if you need extra protection like an alarm system or CCTV.
You also get to choose how often you clean and what belongs inside your house.
Boundaries are very similar.
Your boundaries are this external bubble of protection you have around yourself to keep you safe.
Your boundaries create a safe haven around you.
The level of boundaries that we choose to implement is up to us.
We can open some doors or windows.
We can close them too.
We get to decide what makes sense and when.
What is fitting and what addresses our wants,
Needs and desires.
For example,
If you were at home and feeling a draft from the window,
You could get up and close the window.
You could take it a step further and even put the heating on.
It works the same with our application of boundaries and the valuable resources we have in our home.
The home of our physical,
Spiritual and energetic body,
Mind and spirit.
If someone came inside of your physical house and messed everything up,
What would you do?
Well,
You might ask them to stop.
Or maybe even to help clean up.
Or you may even ask them to leave.
Then as part of your personal line of protection,
Your boundaries,
You can shut a window,
You can put them outside,
You can close a door.
If we feel left out in the cold by another person's behaviour,
We have the power to turn the heat up inside.
Maybe close a few windows or maybe close the doors if necessary.
We could share this with another friend who is warmer and more loving.
Or we might reserve our energy if it's been drained instead of nourished.
So how can you maintain your one and only precious home?
What boundaries do you need to set and why?
Do you need to do some internal housekeeping?
Maybe some of your rooms are cluttered.
Or maybe you notice that you've been keeping everyone on the outside and you're ready to spring clean and allow others into your space.
Maybe you're realising that you've left your doors and windows wide open and your house has become unmanageable.
And now you're ready to close down some of the hatches and focus on nourishing yourself.
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