2 Wrongs Still Don't Make A Right - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

Welcome to Life Lessons and Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome to the show.

Let's bring Aubrey on.

Hello.

Hey,

Welcome to the show,

Aubrey.

Thank you very much.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome to the show.

Hey.

Hey,

Ho.

Hey,

Ho.

What do you say?

Let's go.

All right.

All right,

So today,

We are talking about the old saying that I used to hear growing up,

Do two wrongs still not make a right or has that changed?

Oh,

Nice A,

By the way.

Thank you.

Nice A cup.

I know.

I have been inspired since you got your G charger.

My G light?

Yeah,

Can we see that?

Can we get a visual?

I don't know.

Let's see if the cord will reach.

Oh,

Boy.

No,

But I'm going to.

.

.

Now,

I'm going to find a way.

It'll get there.

It'll get there eventually.

Okay,

Let's see.

I like it.

I want to order an A1.

Yes.

It's awesome.

Yeah,

The lights are out right now because I was playing with all the lighting here,

So I can charge my phone up there.

Awesome.

We love that.

Is it showing the correct time?

That's the correct time or.

.

.

No,

That's not the correct time,

Is it?

Yeah.

Oh,

So your time is my time now?

Yeah.

Oh,

Look at that.

Yeah,

The daylight savings time started yesterday,

So the Dominican Republic does not do daylight savings time.

It's just at this time all the time.

Oh,

That's nice.

Yeah,

So half the year or whatever.

.

.

Daylight savings time might be like eight months or something,

So it might not be six months and six months,

But whatever it is.

Part of the year when you guys at the time now,

Which I believe means it's the start of daylight savings time,

As you guys are observing it,

You're the same time as me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know why we even change the times anymore,

Honestly.

It's just a habit.

I heard that they were going to stop doing that.

I did too,

But I'm not seeing any action.

I'm just hearing the words.

No one's showing any action there.

Well,

We are talking about the government.

That just pretty much summed up everything they've done in the last 40 years.

I've heard a bunch of words,

But I haven't seen much action.

Pretty much.

Yeah,

It's pretty much.

.

.

That's kind of how it goes.

It's part of the course.

Sounds about right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I actually had hope this time.

It's diminishing to some degree because like you said,

I'm not seeing the action,

But they had passed it on a certain level last year to end.

This was supposed to be it.

They're supposed to change it like it did yesterday.

And then the US was supposed to stay at this time moving forward.

And it still could occur,

But it's stalled.

I was talking about this last year.

I feel that,

And I got hope regardless,

But I was saying last year,

I go,

I don't think it's going to happen because it's not sexy.

Who wants to be the president known that.

.

.

What'd you do when you were in presidency?

Oh,

Well,

I stopped daylight savings time.

It's just not sexy,

Man.

That's not something.

.

.

That's not what you want next to your name in the history books.

So they're like,

Eh,

Let's just slide that one off.

And plus people.

.

.

They have the wrong perspective.

People complain about it,

But they're not going to freaking protest over it.

So they're like,

Eh,

Let them bitch.

Hopefully not.

You never really know.

Like,

Oh,

They'll get over it.

If I pass this,

I might drop one point.

But yeah,

So this is in a way I wish it was a little bit different though,

Because I've dealt with different time zones.

I mean,

Well,

Just like everybody else,

But since I started my business,

I've worked with clients all over the globe.

So I'm constantly working with different time zones.

So that's not that big of a deal.

But what makes the DR to the East coast of the United States more difficult is that it's the same some of the time and it's different some of the time.

That's really confusing.

Because if you're always like,

Before,

If I was an hour behind and then I'm two hours behind and then I go back to one hour behind,

At least I know there's always a difference.

So my mind is always calculating a difference.

Here just by the time I get used to it being the same,

I'm like,

Oh my God,

This is so convenient.

It's the same as Eastern time,

Which is where all my family is,

A lot of hands all on the East coast.

Right.

So it's like,

Oh,

This is wonderful.

This.

And just as I start getting used to it again,

They change it.

And then I'm an hour off.

Isn't that the truth?

Yeah,

That's how I feel.

I don't have that issue.

Yeah.

One in doubt punt.

I'll punt.

So,

So we're talking about two wrongs make a right.

I don't,

I'm just going to jump into it because I can't figure out a way to segue our previous conversation into the topic.

Right.

Just dive in.

We'll just,

We'll just,

Yeah,

We'll just scratch that and dive into something different.

So,

So yeah,

It's like,

You know,

I heard this growing up,

You know,

Two wrongs don't make a right.

It was one of those,

Those principal things,

You know,

We're taught growing up.

And it's funny.

It's like,

I kind of see this in a lot of situations.

It's like somehow like we either forgot or lost,

It lost its luster or I don't know what happened,

But that basic,

It's a pretty simple concept.

And like I said,

It was taught to children and as a,

As a moral code to some degree and how to behave and how not to behave.

And yet as adults,

This is basically one of the prevalent things that I see in our society now.

It's,

You know,

And it's fueled by the anger.

It's,

You know,

Everybody has this righteous anger.

I heard,

I heard a priest talking about righteous anger in a church sermon one time when my son was little,

I was like,

So you're going to get all these people jacked up and say that their anger is righteous and basically God approves of it.

And then you're going to send them out and you wonder why these people do stupid shit.

That might be like,

Is that against the law,

Like inciting a riot?

Like,

Yeah,

It's funny.

I had a similar experience with a church,

Same thing.

And in this scenario,

They were talking about people that were gay,

They're homosexual,

Right?

And he,

I mean,

Listen,

Religion is what it is and you're going to believe what you believe.

But this one day,

He must have had a bad day.

He must have had a real bad day because he got up there and he told us we had to hunt them down.

We had to find them and then tell them they were going to hell.

And you know,

That was the mission.

Good idea.

Hunt them down and find them.

I never went back after that.

That was my last day at that church.

But you know,

That was one of the reasons why my son decided he didn't want to.

He didn't he didn't want to continue on with the Catholic Church was because they were they were really laying into gays and stuff.

And I think if I remember right,

When the priest went off,

It was the abortion topic.

And like they were talking about,

He wasn't saying go blow up buildings,

But that had come up in conversation.

And I'm like,

Ah,

You know,

I hey,

Your beliefs are your beliefs,

You know,

Like you just said,

You know,

People have the right to believe whatever they want.

But inducing violence towards another group of people,

I think,

Crosses the line.

I don't give a crap what you believe.

Yeah.

Honestly,

You can just feel the anger behind it.

It's you know what I mean?

Like a belief is a belief.

And it's usually like,

To me,

A belief is like,

This is what I believe and what you believe is what you believe.

And that's just what a belief is.

And it's just what you choose.

But to like,

Try to give people this,

Like,

Go find them and hunt them down.

Like,

There's just so much anger.

That's why my initial I was like,

He must have had a really bad morning because this is very.

.

.

And sometimes they do.

That was around the time that was around the time like we weren't we didn't go to church too much longer after that.

And it was right around the time where I was always constantly trying to figure out why I ended up having to bring my son to this Catholic church every week,

When I had no intention of going back to Catholicism.

That's how I was raised.

But I had to bring him.

And I was like,

Basically,

It was kind of almost like court ordered to some degree during the custody change.

So I'm there and I'm like,

Well,

I don't believe in accidents.

There must be a reason I'm here.

And I was listening to a lot of what the priest was saying through spiritual ears instead of ignorant ears that I had when I was younger.

So I was making a lot of sense of what he was saying.

And I was nice because I could really understand the teachings differently and see all the good in the teachings,

Because I could really understand them from a personal perspective and a spiritual perspective.

Which was cool,

But like every once in a while,

He'd be off.

Like I'm like,

Oh,

He doesn't understand this one.

So I'm like,

Maybe I'm here to save him.

So I'm just going to go schedule an appointment with the priest.

Maybe I can explain some of his teachings to him so he can get them right.

Yeah.

And right when I got to that point,

I think the universe was like,

Okay,

I think Glenn's been coming to the church long enough now.

He's starting to go off.

It's got a purpose for him.

Yeah.

I think he got the point.

He can stop going now because now he's going to go try to school the priest.

But yeah,

This idea of righteous anger is absurd to me.

I was talking to somebody years ago,

And they said I was explaining the circumstances I was in at the moment,

Just from a factual basis,

Not a complaining basis.

I was asking them for help in a certain area,

And I needed to kind of lay out the situation that I was in.

So I was explaining it to them,

And they said to me,

They said,

Wow,

You have the right to be angry.

And I just burst out laughing.

I was like,

Because nobody had said it to me for a while,

And it sounded so silly to me.

You have the right to be angry.

So what do I get for that right?

Anger?

I got one.

So okay,

Good.

So I have the right to be angry.

So somebody else did other things that were towards me,

And I have the right to be angry.

So could I forgo that right,

Please?

If it's my right,

I should be able to deny it,

Because it's a right.

I don't have to have it.

So I just like to deny that right and let it go by me,

Because if I accept that right,

If I take advantage of my rights in this situation,

All I end up with is anger.

So why would I want that?

And when you break it down like that,

Hopefully people listening,

They're like,

Okay,

I get what you're talking about,

Conceptually.

So let's look at the other side that I consider dysfunctional.

And what we're doing in society now is we're finding the right to be angry.

We're finding a reasoning why it's okay for us to behave poorly.

And what we're doing in the process is we're turning into what we don't like.

So we're throwing that two wrongs do make a right now in society.

Of course it doesn't.

You can see how it doesn't.

If somebody walks up and is rude to you,

Then it's like,

Well,

Anybody's rude to me,

I'm going to tell them to go screw.

So rude,

Let me get this straight.

Rude is bad.

You don't like rude people.

Yes,

That's right.

I don't like rude people.

So when somebody behaves rudely to you,

What the appropriate response is,

Is for you to become just like them.

That's appropriate.

So you're basically choosing to become what you dislike.

And that's like righteous.

We blow out our chest and we act like,

Yeah,

Screw with me.

It's like,

We're teaching our kids not to do that at six in the playground.

Why is it okay as adults?

Yeah,

I feel like it's this trend of toxic positivity.

It's almost like how there's this whole trend that I see a lot through social media and stuff and where you'll see quotes a lot and people will tag it a lot.

And there's a big thing where people are like,

I match energy.

So if you don't,

Whatever you're going to give me,

I'm just going to match that energy instead of just being myself and the vibration that I am.

If you treat me poorly,

I'm just going to match that.

I'm going to lower myself to your- Yeah,

And it's really,

It's kind of wild because I've seen it so often in the past few months.

I've just seen this matching energy thing and I'm just thinking,

What if we were just ourselves?

Isn't that the whole point of all this self-work that we're trying not to be a jerk?

And then when a jerk comes- If we're trying resolution with anything,

Then I guess if we're all just matching each other's shitty energy,

I mean,

What's the goal?

And you're handing your power away.

And I am a good,

Happy,

Upbeat person unless a jerk comes along and then I'll lower my vibration into jerk mode and walk around and I'll act like a jerk to them.

And then they'll be like,

Well,

It's just to them.

It's just to them.

I don't care who it is.

You're acting like a jerk.

Sometimes one of the things that triggers people when I'm throwing truth darts is when I call people liars.

People don't like that.

I call people liars when they lie and they always want to rationalize their lie.

It's like,

Yeah,

But they lied first.

That's not how it works.

It's irrelevant.

Yeah.

If somebody lies to you and you lie,

You're not a liar.

I don't even know why.

You just matched your energy.

They were the liars.

Of course you're a liar.

You lied.

Look in the dictionary.

A liar is one who lies.

That's all.

It's not complicated.

It's not if somebody did it to me first.

I remember Mateo when he was little,

He got into a scrap at school and I was talking to him about it.

I said,

Well,

You broke the rule.

He went after a kid,

Put his hands on a kid.

I mean,

It wasn't a big deal.

He was little,

But he put his hands on a kid.

He goes,

Yeah,

But he took my hat.

I go,

Yeah,

But the rule doesn't say don't put your hands on a kid unless he takes your hat.

It just says,

Don't put your hands on a kid.

Period.

So if he takes your hat,

Then you have to do something other than put your hands on him.

You can use your words.

You can tell a teacher.

But this is the same stuff that adults need to slow down and look at.

And I'm not pretending that I'm perfect.

Like honestly,

Raising my son was the biggest school for me because every single time I was teaching him something,

If I slowed down and I took the dynamic of the lesson,

The underlying lesson in what I was trying to teach him and said,

How do I apply this into my life?

Every time I could find a way.

Every time I could find an area that that same principle that I was teaching him,

I was doing in a different way in my life and I could work on it.

So we all do this.

I mean,

It's not about pointing the fingers.

It's about just shining the light on and go,

People do we look at what we're doing.

You know,

We're matching.

When you were talking,

It reminded me of a post I saw,

I said,

I was like,

What?

Because the post started something like it said,

It said,

If you come at me with bad energy,

I'm not going to send bad energy back at you because I'm not going to have that on my karma and I'm not going to do that.

And I'm reading this and I'm like,

OK,

Well,

That's,

You know,

Good.

You know,

So far I'm with you.

I just like know where it's going.

And then they said,

Sure,

But I'm going to send your energy right back to you and I'm good at it and it's going to lay you out and you're going to get crushed.

And I'm like,

That's the same thing.

It's the same thing.

It's toxic positivity.

It's like it's like people trying to claim that it's positive,

But it's really it's like I'm saying it's positive,

But it's got this toxic underlying energy to it.

So you think so like I have a different definition of toxic positivity.

OK,

What's yours?

So like mine,

Mine is and I could be completely wrong with the terminology stuff.

I'm wrong a lot because I don't pay attention to it because the people out there keep changing the definitions of things like,

You know,

You can't be awakened anymore or you can't be woke because now that's a bad thing.

And it's like,

Yeah,

Keep up.

Like you guys just change the definition of whatever words you want to complain about.

So I can't keep track of it.

But but toxic positivity was just somebody that was positive all the time.

OK,

So be in positive all the time.

So we're looking at it from we're talking about two different things.

I think what I'm referring to with toxic positivity is like this thing where people will be like,

You know,

Good,

Positive vibes only here,

You know.

And it's like,

Yeah,

And then they'll be like,

Ask you because you don't have positive vibes.

Yeah.

Like,

It's like that where it sounds really great,

But it's just like the why behind it is kind of just not authentic.

That's how I define it.

It's just honestly,

I don't know what the definition is.

That's just how I look at it.

And I see it the same way with what we're talking about,

You know,

Like that matching energy.

I'm going to come off very positive because I'm protecting my energy,

But I'm also going to shoot all this negative energy at you.

Like,

It's just it doesn't it's like an oxymoron.

Like it doesn't make any sense.

That's why,

You know,

Toxic is an oxymoron,

Too.

And I think,

You know,

This is why we have to like go deeper when when we're looking at things,

Because we're like a we're a meme society at this point.

It's like if it sounds good in a meme,

Like most memes are like,

Like,

You know,

Like memes are kind of memes are a current specific thing.

But basically,

They've been around forever.

They're just little catchy phrases that people have been saying forever.

Right.

And the ones that have stayed and the ones that have caught on and the ones everybody knows they it's because they resonate.

The reason they resonate is because there's an aspect of truth to them.

Yeah.

And people sense that.

I mean,

If you put out a meme,

You know,

Of course,

You can get some quirky people that look for these memes.

But I'm talking to general unconscious public.

If you put out a meme that says like,

You know,

Cracker Jacks are my favorite,

Like that's not going to catch on.

Right.

You know,

Except for the you know,

The the specific Cracker Jack people.

But like most people,

That's not going to catch on because there's no real truth for it to resonate.

So when something sounds catchy,

That actually means that it's resonating and people latch on and spread it.

And nowadays,

People adopt it and kind of becomes a belief system.

And a lot of memes are like that.

But what they're not just because there's an ounce of truth in a 12 ounce meme doesn't mean that the rest of the 11 ounces are true.

Yeah.

So so we got to go a little bit deeper and use the the brain.

I mean,

If if I had to say like probably the most heard phrase I've had in the last 20 years from people is is it's along the same lines.

It's like,

Oh,

I never thought of it like that.

Or oh,

It's really clear when you break it down like that.

It's stuff like that.

Why?

Why just look at things and just break it down and go,

Well,

You see that it means this.

Right.

Yeah.

You know,

So so and we're doing that in this this podcast.

So it's like so righteous anger,

Like somebody is rude to you and then you have the right to be rude back.

All you're doing is handing your power over to them and saying,

I'm like,

You have the ability to control how I behave,

What vibrations go through me,

How I feel inside.

You have the right to determine all of that.

If you behave rudely to me,

I'm going to rearrange my inner vibration to match the jerk that you are.

Yeah,

That doesn't make sense.

And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that that doesn't make sense.

All it takes is that when when like when you're sitting there scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and you see a meme and you read it and it goes,

Man,

If anybody,

You know,

Acts rude to me,

I'll tell them to go screw.

And all of a sudden you feel this up that that's see what it is,

Is it's an egoic empowerment.

So it strokes your ego.

We feel up and we're like,

Yeah,

It makes us feel powerful for a second.

So we adopted it.

It must make sense because I like the way I felt when I read it.

Whoa,

Whoa,

Whoa.

Why did you like the way it felt?

Because it stroked your ego.

It lifted you up.

It made you feel like you weren't a victim for a moment.

But really,

If you look deeply,

You're turning yourself into a victim.

You're not a surface victim.

You're a backdoor victim because you're handing your power away.

Absolutely.

And it's like it's all in the name of protecting yourself,

You know,

Or you're protecting your good energy.

Like,

It's just wild.

Yeah.

And this is but,

You know,

I think this is good.

I'm starting to see I'm starting to see a lot of changes,

Honestly,

In society.

And and like,

This is this is one of them.

So I'm going to kind of put a positive,

A positive spin on this.

This is like there's a learning curve to where we are going.

We do not know how to be nice people.

We don't know how.

We know how to be martyrs.

We know how to be doormats,

Because that's what's been shown to us for the last hundred thousand years.

But to be a good,

Loving person and to be able to stand strong in love,

We do not know.

As a society,

We don't know what that looks like.

You know,

We know what enabling looks like.

But we don't know,

You know,

Strong and love.

So this is the learning curve that we're in.

And this is part of it.

So I think,

You know,

With this podcast,

As well as not just this podcast,

But people doing this,

Because what's going to happen is they're going to hop on the bandwagon and they're going to suffer.

You know,

If you think that that like because somebody treats you poorly,

The appropriate action is to treat them poorly back.

You're going to pay a consequence for that.

Just because of your behavior.

You know,

I'll use the word karma.

And if you don't believe in karma,

Then it's natural consequences.

I don't give a crap what you call it.

But it's just if you put out bad,

You receive bad.

Yeah,

That's it.

If you put out good,

You receive good.

It's not you.

And I'm not saying you can't defend yourself.

I'm saying that there are other ways to do it.

If somebody acts like a jerk,

The appropriate response is not to act like a jerk back.

It's to rise above it and not let the jerk affect you because they're not worth it.

And this is how we're going to win.

You know,

This is how like this battle or this war or this this shift or this revolution.

That's probably the word I'm looking for.

The revolution that's happening on the planet.

You know,

You look at all the other revolutions that happened in societies throughout history.

And most of them were just violent.

You know,

One bully overtook the other bully and killed a bunch of people and then took over their land.

Well,

We ran out of land.

We can't we can't really do that anymore.

The dynamic is off.

And then you see that we do have examples of the other way,

You know,

Which are the ones that I always bring up.

Gandhi and Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr.

,

Where they took the opposite approach and of nonviolence and just not lowering themselves to their oppressor's standards.

And they won greater victories and didn't sacrifice their energy.

And the world actually became a better place because of that.

This is what we're going to be doing moving on.

So we don't have to fight society or the governments or those in power.

We're not going to win like that.

We're not going to go store a bunch of guns and then go take on the government and have a shootout at the OK Corral win.

And then all of a sudden we're like that ain't gonna happen like that.

Definitely not.

No.

So the way it's going to win is by starving the negative and and feeding the positive.

And just when they say,

Hey,

We're going to control you.

And when everybody goes,

No,

No,

No,

I don't I don't like how you guys been controlling us for a long time.

So I'm just going to have to say that's a hard pass.

And that's it.

And that's how we're going to win.

You know,

And so what I'm seeing with all this controversy in society is that's where we're going.

And this is one of the things that's going to help us learn on an individual basis the lesson we need to learn,

Because right now we're we're we're fighting.

We're going to argue about everything.

We can't accept anybody having a different opinion than our ourselves.

And if if you don't think the same way that I think,

Then then you're my enemy.

That just doesn't work.

And it's never going to work.

And people are suffering more and more and more because of it.

And their individual lives because they're doing it like they'll do it to their damn grocery store clerk.

They'll do it to you know,

They do it to absolutely everybody because they actually believe in the damn meme that they saw on Instagram.

So they're going to suffer in their daily lives because of it.

And then they're going to start waking up going,

Oh,

Maybe maybe I can't do that.

And then once they get the concept in individually,

Yeah,

They're going to start joining the collective that's already building going,

We're going to win this out of love.

And then they're going to turn to love it's because it's the only thing left.

Yeah.

You know,

When you bang your head into against an anger wall over and over and you after a while you figure out that it doesn't work,

You turn around and if the only other thing there is love,

Well,

You're going to give that a shot.

So I think that that's the that's the learning curve that we're in right now.

Yeah,

That love is is the constant and that it's not going anywhere.

So when all of this BS is rent ran its course,

Basically,

All that's left is love.

Yeah,

That's it.

And when and that's where we're going to,

You know,

We're gonna,

We're gonna argue about politics for another five years.

And yeah,

And they're gonna pass another law and people are going to complain,

But accept it because that's what they do.

And like,

It's,

You know,

It's,

It's the frog boiling in the water at this point.

You know,

It's like,

Like being over in the DR,

There's so much less,

There's so much more freedom that when I look at the United States,

It's mind blowing as to what people have just accepted as okay treatment by their government.

Like there's no freedom in the United States.

And people think it's the land of the free.

That's a load of crap there.

It's just that it's the boiling water.

So if you put a,

You know,

The,

The,

The saying is,

And believe me,

I haven't tried this.

But if,

If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water,

It will jump out and save itself.

But if you put it in,

In cold water,

And then you slowly turn up the heat,

It will just stay in there and boil to death and die.

Wow.

This is what's happening in the United States.

It's like,

They've been doing this for,

They've been passing laws to strip freedoms and control people and funnel money upwards and,

And all this stuff for,

You know,

The last 200 years.

And now all you know,

And people are just like,

People are getting fed up,

But all they do is complain on Facebook about it.

They don't really do anything.

You know,

They might make some signs and march for a couple weeks and then go home and,

You know,

Have some Haagen Dazs and,

You know,

Watch some sitcoms.

But they're just not,

They're not actually doing anything,

You know,

And as some and it's just getting worse and worse and worse.

And at some point,

People are just going to be go,

What's beautiful is when when we really hit that ceiling,

People are just going to go now.

No,

Yeah.

No,

It's not going to happen.

And it's just going to completely deflate.

They're going to say,

Yes,

We you always do what we say.

It's like,

Yeah,

Not anymore.

And that's how we're going to eventually win.

It's the the people have always had the power,

You know,

And we might do this for the next podcast.

I'm not sure.

But another sign of this is the workplace.

Yeah,

It's,

You know,

The workplace,

Like all the employers have had the power all along.

And then now all of a sudden,

The employees are starting to have the power.

And the employers,

Half the employers don't even get it yet.

They're just kind of sitting there going like,

Yeah,

Do what I say,

Because I said so.

And I'm your boss.

Yes.

Yeah.

And no,

Because there's a bunch of other opportunities out there that are better.

So I can just do whatever I want.

And I don't have to put up with your crap.

And they go,

Yes,

Of course you have to put up with my crap.

I'm your boss.

It's like,

Yeah,

But you don't you don't have any cards anymore.

Like you're not holding any cards.

And I was fearful and scared.

And I believed that I had to do what you said,

Just because that's what society told me.

And I believe that I couldn't go get a job elsewhere,

Because that's what society told me when I believed all that stuff.

Yeah,

You had a deck of cards and you could you could play them,

Man.

But I don't believe that stuff anymore.

It's just simply not true.

There's other opportunities for me.

So you're not holding any cards,

You're threatening me with nothing.

So like,

Yeah,

And it takes a lot to break out of that mentality and separate that.

Yeah.

But this is what's happening all around the world.

So this is why we have to start questioning these things.

And we have to start looking at,

You know,

Look at our behavior.

It's not complicated.

If you want,

You know,

If you want to get closer to the truth,

Simplify,

Just control your behavior.

If you don't want to be a jerk,

Don't act like a jerk ever.

Like if you don't want to be a liar,

Don't tell lies.

If you don't want to be a manipulative person,

Don't manipulate people.

If you don't want to be because all you know,

Maybe this word has helped me a lot.

Hypocrite.

Don't be a hypocrite.

You're just becoming what you don't like.

That's a hypocrite.

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

This person shouldn't be doing that.

So I'm going to go do it.

That's a hypocrite.

Yeah.

I love that.

I love I'm definitely recording that whole.

If you don't want to be a liar,

Don't be a liar.

If you don't want to manipulate,

Don't manipulate.

It's very simple.

It's not it's so simple.

And it's just it's it's hard to see that because I think there's so much anger,

Anger,

Frustration and not going deep enough.

People don't we have to pause and just slow down for a minute.

And look at what we're doing,

Like,

You know,

A lot of people think that the public is stupid.

I believe the opposite.

I think the public is very intelligent.

Like if I you know,

There's probably been a handful of people that in my life,

I mean,

Maybe five or 10 in my entire life where I met them and said,

OK,

This person is intellectually challenged.

They just don't have the capability of and I'm not talking about people with specific disorders or whatever you want to label it.

I'm just talking about general people where there's diminished intellectual capabilities in certain people.

Very,

Very,

Very rare.

At least 99 percent of the people that I've met are completely intelligent,

Completely capable of running their lives.

So what is doing it?

It's just not slowing down and actually looking at things and using the brain.

We're all surfacing.

We're running around.

This is how it stays going is we're going so fast.

We're just skipping off the surface of a pond like a rock,

You know,

And we never just go deep enough to just stop and think about what we're doing and why we're doing it.

Like wait,

Does this make sense?

Like am I going to feel better?

Am I going to like myself if I act like this?

You know,

And I'm not saying that the trigger moments I mean,

We all have trigger moments where we don't like behave as appropriately as we wanted.

You know,

Like I mean,

I still do.

I can get triggered and all of a sudden just like behave in a way that,

You know,

A lot of people I've been doing this a long time.

So people have this preconceived notion of me,

You know,

That like I'm better than I am,

You know,

Like it's a natural thing.

People put other people that they listen to on pedestals and stuff.

And,

You know,

So I get it,

But it's just not true.

I mean,

I can still get triggered and behave in a way that people look and go,

He's a life coach,

You know,

It can happen.

So I'm not talking about those times when we get triggered and maybe drop into some unconsciousness and behave in a way that we're not proud of.

It happens,

You know,

You try to learn from the past,

Move on and not do it anymore.

But I'm talking about our thought out,

You know,

This is what I'm going to do.

And then we go tell 14 friends and,

You know,

To pump ourselves up even more.

And our friends go like,

Yeah,

Screw them.

Yeah,

They feed that victim mentality and then you get the ego stroke and it goes round and round.

And that's what it is.

It's a victim mentality.

Like now everybody's heard victim mentality.

As soon as I utter the word victim,

People usually jump out of their skin.

I'm not a victim.

I'm not.

Yeah,

You are.

Yeah,

That's the victim mentality.

Yeah,

No.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Like if you're not,

If you're really not in a victim mentality and somebody calls you a victim,

Like they're like,

I think it's victim mentality.

You'd be like,

No,

I mean,

I've had it happen.

Yeah.

Like,

No,

No,

It's not victim mentality.

Like I'm just stating a fact.

Yeah.

There's no emotional charge to it.

Right.

Like,

You know,

I just,

You know,

Like it's easier for you to hit the nail into the piece of wood because you have a hammer.

I don't have a hammer.

So me using a rock as opposed to a hammer,

You're going to have an easier time banging the nail into the wood.

That doesn't mean I'm a victim.

I'm just stating a fact that I don't have a hammer and it's going to be easier for you.

Yeah.

It's facts versus the emotion aspect.

Right.

Yeah.

If there's an emotional charge,

Then you're probably a victim.

And if you can't see it then because you're triggered,

Go home and think about it.

You know,

This is this is the thing like when we when we get.

So this is one of the biggest things that I think has helped me grow over the years.

If I'm upset about something,

My understanding is that there's something wrong with me always because there's nothing wrong with life.

There's nothing wrong with the universe.

It's much smarter than I am.

It can figure out how to flow life better than I can.

So there's nothing wrong with life.

So I'm not life's victim and I'm nobody else's victim.

So if I feel like if I'm angry,

Anger usually comes from a victim mentality.

So then I must feel like I'm somebody's victim.

So I if I always put it back on me,

Then I go in and do the self discovery.

Yeah.

You know,

And same thing as a parent.

If my kid is behaving,

Misbehaving,

And as long as I'm looking at my kids behavior as the problem,

I'm never going to find out what the solution is.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

But as soon as I stop,

This is what I did as a parent most of the time,

Not always.

But as soon as I would stop and go,

OK,

Wait a minute,

I'm the one that's in charge of the household,

Not him.

So if he's misbehaving,

I must be doing something wrong.

What could I be doing wrong?

And then when I took that approach,

I would always find the solution.

Yeah.

I mean,

You weren't what your first thought,

I'm assuming,

Wasn't let me match his energy.

No.

And then and then I would know what would really blow his mind is when I would walk into his room and be like,

Hey,

I just want to talk to you about something.

You know how we've been kind of going at it for,

You know,

Recently.

Well,

I sat down and thought about it and I realized it was my fault.

And the kids are like,

Wait a minute,

What?

Right.

I'm not in trouble.

I get trapped.

Yeah.

I could.

Now I'm listening.

I was about I was going to tune you out,

But you have my attention.

You know,

I'd be like,

Yeah,

You know,

I just been I've been disrespecting myself and you were mirroring that back.

So thank you.

But now I'm going to respect myself and I'm going to demand that you respect me,

Too,

Because that's part of it.

So I'll be if you do disrespect me,

I'm going to be calling you on it every time.

So we're just because I'm not going to allow that.

I respect myself too much.

Oh,

OK.

You know,

It's great.

But I but I don't become him.

Right.

You know,

This is what we do.

Like,

We have a kid that's throwing a temper tantrum.

Then we throw a temper tantrum.

Mm hmm.

Yep.

And it's like,

Oh,

You're going to fall into it.

It doesn't matter how much work you've done on yourself.

It's just being conscious,

I think,

And checking it when it comes up,

Because I feel like as long as you're human,

You'll be triggered.

It doesn't mean all the time.

And that just means invoking an emotional response to maybe something you've experienced in the past.

It's not like anything.

I think you've mentioned this on a lot of podcasts.

I've listened to so many of them.

And talking about how people wear busyness as a badge of honor.

And I think that that's a big thing,

Keeping people from getting under the surface and being able to sit with those issues because our society encourages wearing busyness as a badge of honor.

Everyone's too freaking distracted to,

Like,

Have time to sit and feel that shit.

They run for right.

And it's.

Yeah,

It's scary.

And I think the it is.

And that's what you're talking about is,

I think,

The real work,

Which,

Like,

You know,

As you were explaining,

I kind of was seeing it as maybe step two,

Because you're right.

Like that's actually what's going to change stuff,

You know.

But you know,

How can how can we phrase it in a way that's going to be easier for more people?

You know,

The people on their path might be able to do what you're saying.

But most people are going so fast and they're so busy.

Like how can we simplify it?

How can we make a step one?

Yeah.

Ahead of that.

And it's like,

I think it's just pausing and looking like we're always our mind is always thinking right.

So it's just about thinking about,

Like the things that capture your attention.

It's no one like I used to resonate with comedians,

Partially because I have a strong sense of humor.

But like one thing I heard many,

Many,

Many years ago when I was a kid that I resonated with was like some of the comedians I've heard more than one say it over the years.

They're like,

This is how my mind works.

This is what I think of.

This is why I'm a comedian.

You know,

So it's like I think George Collin one time was like was like,

Do single people have dirty backs?

He's like,

This is the type of stuff that I think of.

And I'm like,

I get I understand that because that's how my mind works.

And I think it's an asset.

Like if you can just look at things that capture your attention,

Like if you have a meme that really strikes you and you go,

Yeah,

Like so much so that it actually captures your attention.

That's the time to practice.

Just get into the habit of stopping right there and and really actually trying to understand what resonated so deeply with you.

Yeah.

If it really captures your attention,

That means there's something resonating with you.

Aren't you curious as to why?

Like this is what this is why I think asking questions is so important because it's it.

I don't want to tell people how to think and what they're supposed to think and how they're supposed to behave.

I want to tell them I want them to figure it out on their own because I trust that people are good and that they're going to turn towards love and good behavior if they're given the choice.

They just have to give themselves the choice.

So when something grabs your attention,

It doesn't matter if it's good,

Bad or indifferent.

If that grabs your attention,

Look at it,

Think about it,

Contemplate it on your ride home,

Dissect it.

Why did that?

Why did that capture my attention so much?

You know,

And then if people start doing that,

They're going to see it on their own.

Yeah,

Like,

Yeah,

Screw them,

Because,

You know,

I'm going to screw them because they screwed me.

Okay,

That just like as soon as you calm down,

You can start sensing it's stupid.

Yeah,

You know,

Like as long as you're up here,

Freaking right.

Yeah,

Kick the rest.

Like as long as you're there,

It resonates.

It's like,

Yeah,

Freaking right.

Yeah,

Yeah.

As soon as you slow down and question it and just get calm and look at it and go,

Why did that resonate in a calm,

Not jacked up energy,

Just in a calm energy and you go,

Why did that resonate so much for me?

Well,

Because they they treated me poorly.

And I didn't like that.

So therefore,

Screw them.

Oh,

Wait.

So they screwed me then screw.

Wait a minute.

This may be something's wrong with this formula here.

Like,

Now I'm just doing what they do.

See,

I think people will like if you know what that that reasoning took 10 seconds.

Yeah,

In seconds,

I think people would come to that conclusion all on their own if they just started questioning things.

Completely agree.

Yeah.

But they let the emotion carry them.

Yep.

And when they feel see,

This is so this is actually an interesting dynamic I just saw.

People are so used to being oppressed that when they feel empowered in any way,

Even if it's egoic,

They latch on to it.

Right.

That's why they're doing it.

So it's like we have to be able to tell the difference where our empowerment is coming from.

Because that's that that's like,

That's one of the biggest energies of spirituality of love is empowerment.

We all deserve the empowerment.

Everybody listening deserves to be empowered.

Like I teach people empowerment.

I celebrate their empowerment.

It's one of my favorite freaking things in the entire universe is empowerment.

I love it.

But it can't be egoic.

It can't be at the expense of yourself.

And that's what it is.

If it's egoic,

You're literally it's at the expense of you,

Not the other person.

You're not hurting them.

Walking around angry lashing out.

They're not.

You're not going to wreck their life.

They're already an asshole.

Right.

If anything,

They're just more of an asshole.

When you're own energy down,

It's like you're sacrificing your own light.

And it's somehow going to make it right.

Yeah,

Make it make it all better.

And that's it.

So hopefully with that clarity,

Because I think that that really summed it up.

It's,

You know,

You're sacrificing your light,

Like you said.

So stop sacrificing your light.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

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Stop.

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Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

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Stop.