You are like a tree.
Just as a tree grows in whatever fashion it has to,
At the spot it happens to sprout,
So too with you.
You didn't choose where you'd get born,
Who your parents would be,
Or what your culture would teach you about living life.
Some trees grow alone in the open without much competition for the sunlight,
So they grow tall and wide and with lush foliage.
Other trees grow up in fierce competition with their brothers and sisters,
And perhaps trees of other species too.
They struggle more,
They have to constantly reach upwards and try to capture some sunlight with their leaves,
Or else they will wither and die.
Yet other trees happen to sprout in weird places,
For example under a boulder,
And might have to grow real crooked in order to make it.
Now all of these trees are perfect in their own way,
So too would you.
Whether you're a big,
Beautiful and somewhat spoiled tree,
Or a competitive boisterous tree,
Or a humble crooked tree,
Or any other type of tree,
You are an organism that have grown in response to your conditions and your surroundings.
All you wanted was to thrive and enjoy life,
And there's nothing wrong with that.
So do not compare,
Do not measure,
No other way is like yours.
All other ways deceive and tempt you.
I too had a hard time allowing myself to be me.
I wanted to be taller.
I wanted to be a hunk.
I wanted to be someone admired as a sort of hero or saviour.
I wanted to be someone who was talented at making my mind still.
I wanted to be an enlightened sage.
I didn't want to be me.
I was ashamed of my shortcomings,
So I didn't even want to acknowledge them to myself.
That inevitably clouded my vision.
I didn't see my strengths as strengths and my vulnerabilities as vulnerable.
Because of my shame,
I didn't talk openly with my teachers about my struggles either.
And as a result,
I was probably stuck in it all much longer than I would have been otherwise.
That's the kind of tree I am.
Then I eventually understood that meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better,
But about befriending who we already are.
It enabled me to meet a vulnerable boy inside of me with reassurance and compassion.
And it enabled me to make use of the strengths that I did possess.
I wasn't particularly talented at stealing my mind,
Because my mind loves to take things apart and figure them out.
I wasn't someone of unflinching faith,
Able to just follow the straight line through the jungle pointed out by the first teacher I met,
Because my mind is curious,
Questioning,
And loves to explore all the different perspectives and nuances.
And it likes to challenge itself.
That's the kind of tree I am.
And when I allowed myself to be the tree that I was,
I did start thriving and enjoying life.
