Lauren nursed her heartbreak from a love that abruptly ended as passionately as it had started.
It was all so disorientating,
And she felt sincerely out of sorts,
As if completely closed off from herself.
She just couldn't trust her heart again.
It wasn't so much a decision,
But more of a response to date very lightly.
Not getting invested,
Not getting her heart involved with anyone.
Over three years had gone by before she met Nathan at a house party.
A friend of a friend had introduced them.
Nathan was funny,
Magnetic,
The life of the party.
Their connections swept them up.
It all felt so easy,
Light-hearted,
Full of late-night drives and careless laughter.
For six months,
She never expected anything could ever get in the way of their connection.
She was invited to meet some of his friends at a barbecue in Nathan's backyard,
Smoke curling up from the grill,
Music you couldn't help but move to was just spilling out the open windows.
Nico showed up late,
His quiet presence immediately shifting the air.
Lauren looked up,
A burger in hand and her breath caught.
She knew that face,
Those eyes.
For a moment,
It felt like the ground tilted under her.
Nathan,
Oblivious,
Shouted his brother's name and wrapped him up in a bear hug.
Lauren's secret world with Nico and her easy world with Nathan collided in that instant.
Lauren understood with clarity that stole her breath away,
That nothing in her life would ever be simple again.
She realized in an instant,
As her heart pounded against her ribs,
That her love for Nico had never left her.
It had only returned in the most impossible way.
That night,
Her dream was filled with European memories.
Sparks,
Flashes of passion,
Cafe conversations,
Moments of love exchanged.
All kinds of different memories flooding in.
She woke up in the middle of the night feeling shaken.
She could still feel the tenderness that lived between her and Nico as she looked over at Nathan sleeping peacefully,
Feeling waves of guilt.
The rest of the night,
She could only toss and turn,
A part of her feeling like falling back asleep would be too risky.
Like opening the door to all those buried memories from years ago.
She propped up a few pillows and grabbed her book from the bedside table,
Seeking distraction instead of falling back asleep.
