The Difference Between "Would" & "Could"

Today I want to discuss a very short but very potent quote by Marcus Aurelius.

The quote is Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be Be one this instruction that he writes to himself Is extremely deep Yes,

It's iconic.

Yes,

It cuts straight to the point But it's deep and it applies to so many areas of life.

I think that it is so alluring and addictive to discuss other people To discuss the ideal person to find faults in others the term They use for this on the internet is keyboard warrior So it's this idea that you're sitting behind your keyboard and you're giving this feedback this advice this criticism To someone out there in the arena doing the heroic stuff doing the work you can become a professional critic right you could become a professional criticizer of others Film critic or a music critic now,

Of course a lot of these critics have expertise But some of them they just criticize other people's creation Without ever having created anything themselves in the realm of personal development Have you ever gotten into a discussion about?

What it means to be enlightened?

Who is enlightened who isn't enlightened?

Who is a good person?

Who's not a good person?

Who's corrupt who's not corrupt who's more intelligent who would win this debate?

Who's more awake than this other person?

I am certainly guilty of getting into the kind of discussion where I theorize About what it means to be good to be wholesome to be in integrity these types of discussions I believe are just distractions Distractions from doing the thing when I encounter people who really struggle with self-discipline one thing I often see is that they're regularly promising themselves something so if someone Really wants to start a workout routine But they're never working out.

They'll often say things like I need to start working out or Next week.

I'm gonna start working out or tomorrow.

I'm gonna sign up to the gym There's always these little promises that they give themselves that keeps this hope this fantasy alive that they will actually Start working out,

But yet they just don't right There's always this feeling that they might and this feeling persists for weeks and months and years often But the evidence suggests that they aren't and this is a distinction that I love a very simple distinction the difference between would And could write a lot of us could Do many things I could start the new business for electric cars And try and make the world a better place.

I could to do that.

I really could do that I could write an article every single day for the next 365 days and really go as far as I can into helping people I Could do it like I really could do that I?

Could completely clean up my life and avoid any kind of negative influence For the next six months I could do it like I really could and so could you but the question is Would you Would you do this?

We know you could but Would you and you know the answer to that is not something you can say you can't actually voice an answer to that There is no verbal answer the answer has already been stated by your past if There's no track record of you doing it You can't do it If there's no evidence of you making strides forward in that area you wouldn't do it because if you would you would have this goes back all sorts of this idea that people say I Could have been this amazing thing You know when I was younger if I had studied harder.

I I could have been a top doctor When I was younger if I trained harder,

I could have been one of the world's greatest athletes The truth is that's not any more true Then Then the idea that you could have been the creator of Amazon or you could have been a billionaire zookeeper It's one reality that you've chosen because it feels good when you choose it But if you could have done that truly you would have done that and this goes back to this idea of stoic fatalism It's very important to be real with ourselves We can look back on our life and go well if I had studied harder.

I would have done this amazing thing But you didn't study harder that wasn't you That wasn't you any more than the world isn't the moon,

And this is a hard thing for people to grasp It's a very confronting thing but to a large degree yes You are the result of luck or randomness if you prefer that word or fortune That is a huge part of your life.

Okay.

You didn't choose your brain You didn't choose your family you didn't choose your height There's so much that is just luck you didn't choose that you don't have this debilitating disease or that you do have this debilitating disease So much of our life is Random and stoicism is the antidote to that of course,

But the other side of this Humility that comes from seeing that so much of life Is random and that so many people who are quote unquote self-made Are just lucky enough to be the type of person who can become self-made based on their genetics and situation there's also if you look deep enough into it a Truth that goes something like this a large part of your life Not all of it because a large part of it was luck,

But a large part of your life is the way it is Because on some level you've wanted it to be that way You know when people say I don't have enough time for this.

I prefer to think that you do with your time Everything you want to do every day when people say I don't have enough time to read books You do have enough time to read books But you're choosing to do other things with your time you want to be doing other things More than you want to be reading books So so it's not that you don't have enough time to read books It's that you would rather do other things than read books and when people are struggling with discipline And they say I don't have enough time to be disciplined It's not that you don't have enough time to do this thing that you know is good for you It's that you're choosing to do other things instead and looping back to the quote waste no more time arguing What a good man should be be one The arguing about what a good man should be the arguing about what a good person should be is the Perfect distraction the perfect distraction from actually being one we fool ourselves into thinking that if I can create this image and Talk as if I know what a good person is then I vicariously Take on some of those traits Because other people give me the validation of seeing that I'm onto something But you know in your heart of hearts you aren't that and you have to live with that the idea of stoicism is really simple You don't practice stoicism so that you can impress your friends You don't practice stoicism so that you can appear wise you don't practice stoicism so that people Listen to you and think that you Understand stoicism you practice stoicism For those moments when you are on your own lying in the dark Confronted with yourself Wondering What am I doing with my life?

What is going on?

How much of a fake am I how much of an addict to approval and validation am I?

Where am I pretending where am I an imposter?

Where am I hiding?

Where are my weak and when you survey the ground of your character?

And you take a good look the practicing stoic is Okay with themselves is Contented with their efforts Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be no more time be one over and over and over again as many times as it takes Thank you for listening.

I'll see you in the next episode of the stoic handbook podcast