Hello and welcome,
In this recording I am thinking about sharing a bit of my own experience when it comes to manifestation,
Dissociation and emotional flashbacks.
And this is not a rule in a way or a better to say,
It is not linear,
It does not apply every time,
Because there have been times that the idea of manifestation has been pretty helpful for me,
But when applied of reconditioning my nervous system,
For example,
Having a clear vision in your head of what it is that you want to accomplish and how would it feel in the present moment to connect to that vision,
How would it feel if that life was happening right now.
And I think that the main reason why I have found that to be really effective,
At least most of the time,
Is because,
In a way,
The fear of the unknown starts to dissolve bit by bit and that vision starts to become familiar,
So the nervous system tends to move away from things that are perceived as uncertainty or threat,
Even if the threat may not even be real,
But still it is the perception of threat that creates an effect.
So when I have connected with the vision of a life that I want to build and how that would feel in the present moment,
That has been a way for my nervous system to start getting familiar to that life,
To those routines,
To those kind of people,
To that environment.
And then I think the nervous system and the brain,
Even unconsciously,
Starts to select details that connect you to that vision or to that reality.
And that is really interesting,
So in many times that has been effective for me.
What also has happened when it comes to the idea of manifestation is the resistance.
So one of the things that I love the most on how I work is paying attention to the resistance,
Noticing what helps the resistance be empowered and what helps it lessen.
When I've connected to the idea of the future and to the idea of manifestation,
That if I sit long enough in meditation and if I do all of this that people say will bring me my manifestations,
I have noticed time and time again my anxiety rising,
The need to control outcomes rising.
And in different times I have ended up having panic attacks or very high levels of anxiety because life felt out of my control,
Because to a certain degree life is out of my control.
And I was trying so hard to do this idea of manifestation right and those two collapsed with each other and I just ended up having anxiety,
Like very high levels of anxiety.
And that has happened not one or two times but a good number of times over and over again.
So that is something.
Another thing that I've been noticing,
Especially lately,
Because of things that have happened in my life during the past few months,
The level of dissociation that I've been experiencing has been quite higher than usual.
And from dissociation,
When you start to move out of there,
But what I've found helpful in coexisting with dissociation are two things.
One,
Allowing it to be.
Because when you fear that,
Okay,
Now I'm noticing this sense of fog,
Now I'm noticing this disconnection from reality or now I'm noticing that I'm spending so much time in my own fantasies or whatever,
That fear sometimes makes the dissociation be even more intense.
Because in itself,
Like this protective mechanism or protective aspect of yourself that is dissociation is now being feared and your body is perceiving even more danger or threat.
So this means it may also perceive a greater need for protection.
So allowing the dissociation to be there and sometimes even trusting in myself that I will still manage whatever comes my way.
The other thing is somatic practices.
And not just mindfulness,
But if you have participated in our life sessions,
Those simple exercises of noticing sensations and then moving to a chosen anchor of safety or neutrality,
Maybe your breath or your surroundings.
Noticing if there is a positive or neutral area in your body and moving your awareness between noticing this positive or neutral sensation and an emotion that may feel uncomfortable,
But without diving into the emotion,
Simply acknowledging that it is there.
So somatic practices,
Even during the day,
Not just in meditation and sometimes in my experience,
For dissociation meditation has been helpful to a certain degree and there have been times when different kinds of meditation,
Not the traditional meditation,
Have been more helpful.
So alternating your practices based on your needs during that period of time,
During that day or during that moment,
That has been helpful.
What I'm noticing,
Because since this disconnection from reality or sense of fog has been more present for me during this few months,
It has been really hard to connect with an idea of the future.
And also because ongoing things and problems,
We're active.
So it was really difficult to connect with a vision of a future.
And what I noticed was that even when I'd try,
The idea of connecting to a future would actually trigger emotional flashbacks from trauma.
And I feel I'm really grateful for the tools that helped me navigate this thing specifically.
And the whole,
Like this whole few months,
But this thing specifically.
Especially because when you try to do something that you are told it is effective,
And something that it has been effective for you in the past,
And instead of moving forward,
You notice yourself moving,
Quote-unquote,
Even more backwards,
Because at least this is how it felt for me.
That felt really scary.
So what did I do in this?
What I found helpful was noticing,
Acknowledgement,
And connecting with my body.
And I think this is powerful even when it comes to fond patterns,
When it comes to this tendency to appease others,
And not see your perspective,
And not be on your side.
Because very often the body is the one who knows reality better than at least my mind in many situations that moves towards appeasing.
That sometimes it definitely feels like not being on my side.
But when I reconnect with my body,
And I notice my sensations,
And I tend to my own physical needs,
It feels like I'm nurturing myself.
It feels like I'm being present with myself.
So that has been really helpful.
And then,
Letting the idea of manifestation aside for a bit,
And connecting to where do I want to go?
Even in a short-term period,
What do I think would connect me to who I want to be?
Here,
Other people,
Be it online personalities,
Other teachers,
Other people in my community that would reconnect me to who I am and who I want to be,
Have been a very powerful influence.
And I notice,
Looking at materials and content,
That before this time I'd not pay much attention,
But during this time have been really helpful for me.
So reconnecting with who you want to be,
The kind of person that you want to become,
But not in the sense of fantasy or visions.
More in a way that feels practical,
That feels like it can be very easily integrated in your reality.
This,
At least for me during this time,
Has felt very practical and very helpful.
Because I could stay connected to my body and my own experience and move towards the life that has value for me.
Because this vision did not feel far away.
It felt like,
Okay,
So this is the next very small step that I can take to be this person,
To embody this version of myself.
And this was something that I really wanted to share.
And even though it may work in different times,
Like it can be helpful in some times and less helpful in others,
I think that knowing it as an information still has value and can be helpful for you guys as well.
Thank you so much for being here.
And we'll hear again soon.
Take care.
