Hello and welcome to today's episode of the How to Choose Happiness and Freedom show.
I'm your host,
Lauren Foster,
Happiness teacher and founder of Be Happy First.
In today's installment of the Happy and Free series,
We're going to delve into the chapter on writing your new story.
Here's the thing.
Most of us don't really know what we want.
We just know we don't want this.
We don't want this job or this relationship,
This house,
This disease or condition.
But in our heads,
We keep telling the story of what is.
We talk incessantly about everything that's going wrong with our bodies or our lives.
We complain about every ache and pain,
Worry and fret about bills and the lack of money,
And basically give all of our attention to all of the things we don't want.
Learning to be happy and free on purpose is all about learning to pay attention to what we do want and letting all of the things we don't want just fade away from starvation.
Feed your happiness and joyful desire.
Starve your worry and discontent.
There's a line from an Indigo Girls song that I've always loved,
But I better learn how to starve the emptiness and feed the hunger.
It's awesome.
Now there are a lot of teachings that say it's wrong to want stuff.
That's the opposite of the truth.
It's good to want things.
We're here for a short time,
But we're always expanding,
Growing and adding to the expansion of the universe.
But we never have to wait to have the things we want to be happy.
Happiness is your birthright and your natural state,
And it's available to you right this second.
The goal is to be absolutely in love with your life in this very moment and charmed,
Enchanted and eager about all of the wonderful things you're creating for your future.
Sadly,
Most people who are new to these principles can't really answer the question,
What do I want?
In the book,
There are several fun activities to help you get back in touch with who you really are and to remember what you love and want for your life.
You think back over your life to moments that brought you joy and happiness.
You look at your values and passions and dreams that you've put aside or forgotten.
You learn to cast aside the roles that have been assigned to you by society and beliefs that you were taught that do not serve you.
All of this getting to know yourself will help you to craft a new story about what you do want for your life.
Once you know what you want,
Then you can begin to put your attention there and learn to be that woman,
The woman who is joyfully,
Powerfully creating her own life exactly the way she wants it on purpose,
Happy and free.
There's a mini study guide on the website that's free that you can go and download right this minute that will get you started and aligned with your own divine purpose in creating your best life.
Just go to LaurenGFoster.
Com and click on the free study guide picture.
We talk early in the book about how your words,
Both written and spoken,
Are extremely powerful in creating your life.
Now that you've looked closely at yourself,
Your life and reminded yourself of what you really love,
It's time to commit your new story to paper.
Remember this is not the story that was programmed into your head by other people in your own life experience.
It's not one that was taught to you in school or church.
This is your story,
Exactly how you want to live it with people you love,
Places that nurture your soul,
Work that fulfills you and money that powers it all,
Candy coated with joy and excitement and satisfaction.
There are several ways of looking at this activity.
You could project yourself out into the future,
Say three to 10 years from now,
And write the story of how you want your life to look then.
Or maybe it doesn't feel good or fun to look that far ahead and you just want to write about your life in one year.
Relax,
You can't get it wrong and you never get it done.
Don't try to force your imagination into a place that it doesn't want to go.
If you can't honestly feel like a mansion,
Millions of dollars or starring in a blockbuster movie is a possibility for you,
Don't dream that big yet.
With practice,
You will let life teach you that everything is possible and even those seemingly unattainable dreams will feel way more natural,
Like your birthright.
So start where you are.
As you'll read in my story,
When I was at my lowest point,
My deepest yearning was for freedom and peace and ease.
I couldn't imagine changing careers,
But I could imagine finding a new situation within my field that would feel good to me.
I could imagine being independent and free to make my own schedule and work the way I wanted to,
To have no cap on my income,
To have a product to sell that I could believe in and feel good about.
I can imagine being able to work from home or anywhere and interacting with people I liked and respected,
Even though this had not been my most recent experience.
I knew without a doubt that it was possible.
So that went into my dream story.
I identified the heaviest burdens I was carrying and figured out how to put them down.
As you'll read in my story,
I had spent my life thinking that I was responsible for the health and wellbeing of various members of my family.
So I put into my vision that they were all able to find their own path to freedom and happiness,
And that I could be there to provide love and assistance when asked and where possible,
And that I could trust that the universe would take care of them just like it was taking care of me.
And that wasn't my job to be anyone's hero.
Also during my lowest time where my dream story was really born from my low point,
I had been treating my body with a lot of disrespect,
Drinking,
Smoking,
Taking diet drugs and trying to force it into the shape that I thought would make it lovable and beautiful.
When I really started applying these tools to create my new story,
I decided to relax,
To stop bossing my body around and instead find a new way of being with it.
I ditched the diet,
Drugs and diets.
I quit smoking.
I became more aware and intentional about my alcohol intake and figuring out other ways to feel good without abusing and being mean to my body.
So being healthy and comfortable in my own skin became a part of my vision.
By that time I had been without my own home for about four years,
So I had a deep longing for a place of my own that felt permanent,
Safe and free.
I figured out what that looked like and that went into my vision as well.
The well-being of my beloved fur babies was also a big factor when I was imagining my new story and my new perfect home.
For many years,
Their lives had been restricted and dangerous,
And one of my deepest desires was for them to also be free,
Safe and happy.
So a large piece of land for my home,
Far from other people and cars,
Went into my dream story so that they could also come and go as they pleased.
I was also tired of a lifetime of making the wrong choices regarding relationships,
So I decided to take some time to explore new ways of being in that area.
I wanted to teach myself to be in a place where I could be alone and happy so that any new relationships would just be icing on the cake,
That would just add to and multiply my joy and freedom.
Therefore,
Being in touch with me and content with me became a part of my new story and my vision.
I've always wanted to be a writer,
So that went into my vision as well,
And as you can see,
That part of my story has now come true.
Now I first created this vision in 2012,
And by 2014,
The universe and I co-created most of this amazing life.
Now does this mean I'm done?
Absolutely not.
My current reality is just a beautiful launching pad for my new fantastic dream and vision.
Your dream story is a living,
Breathing document that will evolve as you learn and grow and see new things and discover more about yourself and create new desires.
This feeling of becoming and growing and living into your dreams is exhilarating and fun,
But you're never postponing your happiness until the arrival of any part of your dream.
Your dream story adds fun and joy and anticipation and eagerness to your now.
It's not a longing for something different.
It is a joyful faith that life will continue to get better and better.
When I decided to be a happiness coach,
I figured out pretty quickly that knowing how to do something is very different from knowing how to teach it.
Now the moment I realized I needed help with this,
The universe brought Mary Morrissey to my attention.
I went and studied at the Life Mastery Institute for two years to learn to be a dream builder coach and life mastery consultant,
And this is where I really learned the value and power of deliberately creating a vision or dream or a new story for your life.
What I had done up until this point was happily accidental.
The result of studies from Mike Dooley and Abraham Hicks and others on visualization and acting as if.
And as I learned and grew,
I got even better at all aspects of deliberate creation.
Now here's what I learned from Mary about creating a vision.
And this,
Of course,
Is all summarized and distilled from my own vision.
But a dream story that is worthy of you will be number one written in the present tense as in,
I am so happy and grateful now that that also covers the second requirement of bathed in gratitude and appreciation.
It's written in the positive as if you were already living this life.
It's full of emotion and color.
You're going to interact with the story often.
And whenever you do,
You want it to really make you feel alive and be able to really feel the elements of your new story.
And finally,
Open ended.
So the universe has room to improve on your vision.
To give you an example,
Here's what my long ago vision looked like.
I'm going to read this to you.
I'm so happy and grateful now that I've created a life for myself that is secure,
Safe,
Serene and free.
I love the work that I do in advertising sales.
I love that I'm earning the money I need to rebuild my life with endless potential to earn more and more.
I'm so appreciative that I'm free to work on my own schedule and build my business the way I want to.
I'm grateful that my employer is supportive but uninvolved.
It feels so good to be paid according to what I produce,
Feeling free to spend my time exactly as I choose to.
I love that I'm getting better and better at saving and managing money,
Secure in the knowledge that everything I need has already been given.
It feels so good to see my treasured family members making their own way in life,
Figuring things out and making their lives in their own way.
I feel so light and hopeful now that I'm trusting that they are okay and feeling only love,
Appreciation and acceptance for them.
I love my new home,
How it looks and feels and the safe haven it provides for me.
It's small and cozy but feels spacious and natural with a warm fire and beautiful views.
There's a lot of wood and other natural materials and it's surrounded by trees and mountains.
The silence and serenity are perfect as it's isolated and far from traffic and other noise and my pets are so happy.
They can also come and go as they please through their own door,
Free to play in the woods,
Lounge in the sun or come inside and curl up on the couch.
We love to go for long walks and picnics at lunchtime on a weekday.
I love sleeping until my body wants to wake up,
Having no time schedule to adhere to,
Indulging myself to work or play,
Write or create any way and anytime I like.
My body thrives from the fresh air and sunshine and long walks in the woods.
I have space and freedom and privacy to explore any kind of physical activity I want to try like yoga or Pilates.
Even though I'm in the wilderness,
I can get to civilization easily anytime I want to shop or have lunch with friends or see new things.
I love learning about nutrition and being creative in the kitchen.
I have the best of everything.
I love knowing that the universe will continue sending so much more for my best life.
This or something better still.
Now as you can see,
Though this vision was simple and general,
It was also full of feeling and color and love.
If you're like most people in the beginning,
You may be asking questions like,
Do I deserve this?
Am I worthy of this?
Is this possible?
Well,
As we've been discussing throughout all of our programs,
You are worthy.
You are precious and divine and we're meant to live a joyous and full life.
All things are possible if you can dream it,
The universe can deliver it.
You just have to learn to use the power of your thoughts and words to call that into being in manifestation.
So begin instead to ask,
Is this dream worthy of me,
Worthy of dedicating my hours,
Attention and energy for?
Does this vision measure up to the awesomeness of me and my potential?
Now let's look a little more closely at the five components of a well-crafted life story.
Remember the first two components are that it is written in the present tense and bathed in gratitude and appreciation.
For example,
I am so happy and grateful now that the intention is to begin living as if all of your dreams have already come true.
This is your mission statement for your life.
So you want to really be able to step into it,
Live into it on purpose and mindfully every day.
Be the person who is living this life.
What does she wear?
Who does she talk to?
What kinds of conversations does she have?
How does she feel about her life in the world?
Be that,
Do that.
The third component is that it is written in the positive.
For example,
I feel so light and hopeful now that I'm trusting that they are okay and feeling only love and appreciation and acceptance for them as opposed to a negative statement that would sound like I no longer feel responsible,
Obligated or burdened by the problems of my family.
I see the difference in that feeling,
The positive versus the negative.
I am seeking and appreciating this instead of wanting to get rid of that.
Another example around money might be the positive.
I love having healthy bank accounts and zero balances on my credit accounts.
Negative.
I am out of debt.
See how that works?
The fourth component in your story should be full of emotion and color.
Recall when I wrote about my home.
I love my new home,
How it looks and feels and the safe haven it provides for me.
It's small and cozy but feels spacious and natural with the warm fire and beautiful views.
When I read this sentence,
I feel the warmth of the fireplace and appreciate the beauty outside.
Even when I was sitting in my tiny dark basement apartment,
I could transport myself in my mind to the new setting I was calling into my reality with my new story.
And finally,
The fifth component.
Your story should be open ended so the universe has room to improve on your vision.
The universe knows and sees everything and has no limitations on what it can provide for you.
Your deepest fondest wishes are known and everything is working out for your best good in perfect timing.
When I thought I had found the home that I wanted and things didn't work out,
I knew it was because something better awaited me.
The home I did find was so much better and half the price of this one that I wasn't able to acquire.
Remember this or something better still.
The length of your new story is not important.
You can keep it simple or include as many details as you want to bring you joy and clarity.
One page or a hundred,
This is your new story and you get to write it,
Add to it or change it in any way you like.
This is not a commitment set in stone.
It's a dream,
A touchstone,
A guideline and a map to help guide you towards your happiness life.
So make it fun,
Creative and freeing.
A strong,
Positive dream story will help you in any decision.
You simply ask yourself,
Is this in the direction of my dream?
If it's not,
You say no.
If it is,
You say yes.
How much easier does that make life right?
Now that you've written the new dream story for your life,
Interact with this every day.
Let this be the story that you tell.
Let this be where you put your attention and what you talk about and what you put your focus on.
Let your new story become the star of your life.
That's it for today's episode.
We're coming back next week with an amazing interview.
In the meantime,
Remember,
Happiness is a choice and you can always choose to be happy
