497: Michelle's Mom Joins The Podcast: Surprise Mini-Session

Hello,

Hello,

Everyone.

It is Michelle Chalfant.

Let me say this.

Yeah,

Michelle Brindisi Chalfant is sitting here with you today and I have a very,

Very special guest.

I want to share a method,

A tool,

A technique,

Something,

I don't know what we call this.

Someone very special to me.

She started telling me about a process that I gave her to try and how amazing and powerful it was for her.

And I said,

Can we record this?

I'm feeling this might be a podcast.

And she said,

OK.

This special guest today is going to share her experience about how she really turned her her negative thinking around within a matter of,

Are we going to say minutes?

Minutes.

My guest today is my mother,

Nancy Brindisi.

Thank you for being here today.

My lovely daughter,

She's rescuing me again.

Yeah,

My mom is about to start dating again after many,

Many,

Many years.

What,

15?

15?

Probably.

No,

Probably.

10.

10 years.

2020.

Yeah.

10 years.

2015 was probably my last.

Because dad died like 20.

2000.

Oh,

My gosh.

Dad died.

Yeah.

Almost 23 years ago.

And you dated someone just for a few years and then really haven't met anyone or dated anyone in a very,

Very long time.

And we've been,

We've been encouraging you to date.

So it's been a journey getting here.

And here you are ready to do it.

And you've had some things come up.

And yeah,

That's what I'm excited to talk about today and share.

So here we go.

Thanks for being here,

Nancy Brindisi.

My pleasure,

Sweetheart.

Hello.

So this is Michelle Chalfant,

And I am with a really good friend of mine,

Jojo.

And she started sharing with me some of her process that she's been going through when it comes to building up self-worth and working through some blocks and some really limiting thinking that she's had.

And she's in the process of dating,

You know,

After many,

Many,

Many,

Many,

Many years of not dating,

Divorcing,

Or excuse me,

She's correcting me,

Deciding whether she wants to date or not after,

What,

10 or 15 years?

Yeah,

So 10 or 15 years of not having a relationship.

And she's finally ready to put herself out there.

So we've been doing a lot of work around this,

Just talking about it.

And I've given her some homework to do.

And she's come back and said,

I got to tell you how great this was.

You should share this with your audience.

And I said,

Why don't you share it with you?

You guys know that sometimes I do what I call a sneak attack with people.

And I'll say,

Can I pull my mic out or can we just record this?

Because my feeling is that I love hearing other people's stories of transformation,

How they did it.

It's one thing that I can share with you how to do it.

But when I hear,

Really,

It's the adult chair or these tools that we discuss on the show and in my classes and everything.

When I hear it in action,

It gets me really excited because it's so relatable when you actually hear someone else's story.

So,

Yeah.

So you want to do you want to talk about this?

Hello,

Jojo.

Hi,

Michelle.

Well,

She's pretty much explained what I'm going through right now,

Which is trying to date again now and have confidence in myself,

Having confidence in myself when it comes to dating.

And she's been giving me a great deal of information,

Pep talks.

And has given me some guiding information that I've applied.

And I was feeling really pretty good about myself.

And then,

Of course,

I'm in the process of arranging a date with someone and I was getting excited.

And then I had a circumstances and I can't at the moment remember what it was,

But it threw me.

And all of a sudden,

My confidence level a day or so ago was going down the tubes again.

And so,

Of course,

Michelle chimes in and she comes to my rescue and said and said,

What's going on?

What's going on?

And I said,

Well,

My confidence,

I don't know if I want to do this again.

And she said,

You're such a good person.

And of course,

She proceeded to tell me all my great attributes.

And I said,

And I said,

But how am I going to stay in that that position until I get to know this fella?

And she was naming off several things,

But nothing was resonating with me.

And as far as just think of me or think of something,

Whatever,

Whatever she was saying.

But then she hit the nail in my the nail,

I can't say nail in my head,

Nail in my head and said,

Yeah,

And she said to me.

Just think of your mom,

What would your mom do if she was sitting here beside you when you have these thoughts of being not good enough or self-confident enough in yourself,

What would your mom say?

And I kind of smiled and said,

I really never thought of it in those terms.

And I left her and all during the evening,

I was sitting there thinking of what she said and I had a negative thought again.

And I said to myself,

What what what do you think,

Mom?

And immediately I felt so much better.

It was like I had my mother on my side.

And your mom has been gone since my my mom died when I was only six years old,

So I don't have a lot of,

Unfortunately,

Memories of her,

But I know she loved me.

That's all I know.

And I've carried that love all my life.

But but just knowing that it just resonated with me when I think of my mother,

That was the one person that she said that all of a sudden my negative thoughts went away.

Now,

It worked for me.

I don't know if it could help anybody else.

But if you find the right person that you can count on and you can talk with beside you or pretend other sitting beside you,

That worked for me because it was a it was a it was a great reminder of somebody that I think really loved me unconditionally.

I love this because,

You know,

You and I were talking about the negative self-talk that was coming in.

It was limiting beliefs that you have around dating.

And,

You know,

I'm too old.

I'm too this.

I'm too that.

And all the reasons why this this person or you,

You shouldn't be out dating and all these reasons.

And we were talking about doing parts work.

And you guys know,

If you listen to me at all,

I do a lot.

It's my own version of parts work.

I call it energetic parts work because we're working with the energy and that part is just an energy you can't hold in your hand.

You can see it in the mind's eye,

But you can't hold it.

You can't see it in front of you.

But we work with that energy of the part that is speaking in this way to us,

That is tearing us down,

That is telling us no,

That is judging us and all the things.

So you can work with that part.

And sometimes it's again,

There's a variety of ways to do this sort of parts work.

But what I suggested was,

Hey,

You know,

I said,

Well,

You got to find your adult,

That part of you that loves you,

The part of you that is strong,

That is boundary,

That is,

You know,

All the things.

And she said,

Well,

Sometimes I can't find that part,

Which is very,

Very actually a common thing to say.

And I said,

If you think about somebody that really,

Really loves you and deeply cares about you,

Whether they're deceased or alive,

Put them next to you when these thoughts come up and let them talk to you.

So this is all about how we build up self-compassion.

It is.

And,

You know,

And this is the thing.

And you guys,

This is in my book.

This is this is the first pillar.

It's about building self-compassion.

When we build self-compassion,

It builds self-worth,

Self-love,

Self-esteem,

All the things.

But it's hard to do this if we ourselves don't have all of these loving thoughts.

Like if we don't feel lovable or we don't feel like I'm worthy and all the things is like,

Well,

How in the heck are we supposed to build that up?

Imagine someone next to you.

It can be Jesus,

Buddha,

Your grandmother,

Your mother,

Your best friend,

Your whomever that really,

Truly loves you,

That is your biggest cheerleader.

What would they say?

And what we do is we let that person speak to us until it becomes our voice.

So what I suggested was that she turns toward her mother.

Turn toward your mother when these voices or when this voice comes up and is not nice to you and telling you you shouldn't date.

And these are all the reasons why.

And this is why you're not good enough.

What does your mother have to say?

So I love that what you're saying.

So your mom just said to you nothing or what she say?

She didn't say anything.

But the feeling that I had when I said that and then I actually thought about it for two seconds or more.

I felt good and every negative thought left me.

It was so cool.

It was really cool.

It was really cool.

And I did it again this morning.

And how'd that go?

And it's good.

I don't have a negative thought again.

My mom just wiped them out.

I love it.

And you have to remember,

Again,

We are energy.

So,

So is our person,

Whether they're dead or alive,

Their energy as well.

So you can pull in the energy of someone that is passed on.

And when people say to me,

I'm blocked,

I don't I can't move forward.

There's a wall.

It's like,

Yes,

We work with all of those parts.

But think about it.

Is it an actual wall?

Like,

Are you is there a physical wall or a structure or something in front of you?

No,

It's an energy.

And that's what it feels like.

So when we pull in the energy of someone that absolutely unconditionally loves us,

Who they are here to help us to dismantle those walls.

And sometimes they're just beaming unconditional love at us,

Through us,

Into our hearts and connecting with us.

But it was almost instantly.

Yeah,

I didn't.

The thought came in and I said to myself,

OK,

Mom,

I'm here.

Help me out.

And the feeling that I had totally changed my whole perspective.

It just my mindset,

It just erased all the negative ego stuff that I was dealing with.

And I was smiling and it's crazy,

As I said,

And I did it again this morning.

So I'm trying to hold that thought.

That's good.

It was and it sounds very,

I don't know,

Probably childish,

But it's amazing what it does.

If you can get the right person with the right feelings,

Like the right connection you have.

And remember,

My mom has been gone forever.

But I I just know she had unconditional love for me.

And that I think is it was it was wonderful.

It was wonderful.

I love that.

It's so beautiful.

I feel like you're having some tears right here almost.

Yeah.

I'm upbeat again.

Isn't that amazing?

You know,

We forget.

I love it.

So sweet.

We forget how connected we all are as humans and even with the humans that are not with us anymore,

We truly are that connected.

Then you can feel.

And that's what I love.

You're feeling it right now,

Right?

Yeah,

I am.

Definitely.

That's such a peaceful feeling.

And I'm looking forward to the date.

Oh,

Wow.

So that experience with your mom pivoted you.

It took away all my negative energy,

The thinking and the hesitations and the what am I going to say or am I going to be good enough or,

You know,

What is he looking for and how all the things that manifest in your mind that may happen,

But probably or maybe not.

But it just took away all that.

I'm just sitting back now and just waiting to meet him.

Dang.

So you feel quite neutral about it and actually excited.

Yeah,

I truly am.

Unlike I felt yesterday,

Michelle.

Isn't that wild?

Yeah,

It is.

Yeah.

So cool.

This is the power of this work,

It's so incredibly powerful.

You know,

I just did a live event a few weeks ago and I said to all of them at the beginning of it,

Because typically when you think of like energy work,

You think of someone doing Reiki or hands on healing.

And I stood up in front of everybody and I said,

We're going to do energy work over the whole the next weekend.

And that's what we're doing here.

It's just energy work.

We're moving energy.

We're playing with energy.

We're speaking to energy of someone that we know loved us.

And man,

You are a testament that these people that have died and passed on,

They're still with us very much.

And when we connect to them,

They are here to help.

They are here to help clear our negative thinking,

Our limiting beliefs.

And wow.

Well,

For those people that don't understand that we are all balls of energy,

Which is kind of a hard concept for many people,

I'm sure.

But the connection,

Which is all about what you've been teaching and what you told me so many times,

But it actually,

As I said,

It came to fruition yesterday.

It was like a light bulb went off.

Yeah,

It truly is.

And it was that easy and that quick.

And that,

As I said,

And that those those words and that connection is still with me today.

I had a,

You know,

As I said,

A minor thought this morning,

And I said,

Mom,

Help me out.

And it was gone.

It was gone.

Literally gone.

Wow.

I love it.

You know,

Here's the takeaway.

If you're someone listening to this,

Remember this.

You are that powerful.

We all are.

And we just have forgotten.

And all that I did was just remind you,

Wait a minute,

You can do this.

Well,

But your coaching has helped immensely.

Your ability to express things the way you do,

Which are so refreshing and so wonderful.

You've got this,

You've gotten the gift to pass on all this knowledge that you have,

Which is a true gift and a blessing for anybody that chooses to listen to you.

Wow.

Thank you.

That's beautiful.

Well,

We look forward to hearing about the date.

That's the next part here.

I'm OK with it.

He was supposed to call this weekend or connect this weekend,

And he didn't.

And that was my thought this morning.

And of course,

My went down the rabbit hole when I heard that or thought of that.

And I said,

And I truly felt Mom saying,

He'll call you.

Yeah,

He'll connect.

He'll connect.

It's OK.

And then everything went away.

I didn't think any more about it.

It was that quick and easy.

OK,

And here's the next thing that's going to happen.

I think because I've done this quite a few times for all these years,

Is that.

Continue to lean into your mom for these words and this wisdom,

Really,

It's wisdom,

Right,

And higher truth that actually that she's imparting to you.

Right.

Well,

I'm not sure what it is.

It's a feeling that you achieve.

Or that I feel.

Yeah,

That's that's right.

You said it's an energy that's kind of coming into you,

And all of a sudden it wipes it clean.

It took immediately.

The negative thought away and I went about my my my business this morning and never thought of a negative thought again.

So it was just it was just very peaceful and it's calming.

And it's amazing.

Yeah,

It really it really made a big difference.

I love this.

And I want to point out when you do if you're listening in your and you're going to do this,

You're going to give this a try.

And I would encourage everybody to try this because it's powerful.

It's exactly what you're saying.

Some people hear words,

Some people experience a feeling like you're having,

Right.

Some people have visuals,

So some people will actually see their mother sitting on the couch next to them and have a conversation.

Find your way,

Because we all have a very unique way.

So don't compare yourself to anyone else,

But you have your way.

So it might look like you sitting on your couch and imagine,

You know,

Closing your closing your eyes,

Just inviting in that person next to you.

And then they're going to manifest however that they manifest,

Whether it be through sound,

Through visual,

Through sensing,

Whatever it is.

Ask them some questions.

I encourage you all to play around with this.

This is real stuff.

We are energy beings first,

As I always say,

In human suits.

We're not human first.

We are spiritual beings first,

And that means we are beautiful aspects of God or source energy with a zipped up costume called,

You know,

My name is Michelle Chauvin.

That's my costume.

I am much bigger than that,

As are you who are listening to this right now.

But play around with this,

Because what happens is that beautiful energy that you experienced becomes your energy.

Eventually,

What will happen is it's not to say you can't keep connecting with your mom,

But it becomes your dominant voice.

The dominant feeling that then you will have when you pause and tune into yourself,

You go,

Oh,

Wait,

I'm peaceful.

And it will be you.

That's what happened.

And perhaps that's true,

But I was just struggling with just the thoughts and trying to build myself up.

And it's hard when I live alone,

Which makes it difficult.

I don't have somebody to chat with and encourage me on a regular basis.

So when you had suggested sitting quietly last night and meditating in a form that would bring your mom or whomever in your thoughts or in your,

Well,

I have a difficult time with this,

Which,

You know,

Michelle,

I always think I'm a failure if I don't do it or experience what you think.

Exactly the way that your mind thinks it should be.

And so I was frustrated and I went to bed last night.

But then,

As I said this morning,

It happened so quickly.

And so I was like standing in shock.

I feel fine now within literally less than five minutes by changing my thought or having the presence of my mother there beside me.

Yeah.

All of a sudden it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulder.

Wow.

It was true.

And I'm still carrying that piece.

I can tell you feel very bright right now.

Like your energy feels very light.

I feel very,

Yeah,

I feel very calm and very uplifted.

And it worked for me.

And I hope and pray it works for someone else that I'm sharing this with.

Oh,

It definitely will.

Definitely will.

Very exciting.

Very exciting.

Well,

I am so glad that I took my phone out to record this for a podcast because you just shared some really powerful information.

And I hope that again,

I want I really want to give people hope because it's this simple.

Right.

And when you felt.

Yeah,

Very simple.

Yeah,

It's that simple.

And easy.

And easy.

With that mindset.

I'm all about simple and easy.

And it was fast.

And fast,

Extremely fast.

Yeah.

Again,

We're all under every human is an energy worker and we don't even know it.

So we're just playing around with energy and we're inviting in some powerful energy and soft energy and loving it.

What do you want?

You just invite it in.

So you're you really showed how easily that can be done.

So thank you,

Mama Bear.

You're welcome,

Sweetheart.

You're my lifesaver all the time.

This one is truly a blessing,

Worked for me without a lot of effort.

Yeah,

Exactly.

All right,

Everybody,

I hope that you all enjoyed that and I look forward to hearing from you.

Please,

Again,

Remember how powerful that you are and give this a whirl.

Try this out and let me know how it goes.

All right,

Everybody.

Have a beautiful week.

Bye now.

Bye,

Everybody.

See you next week.