Hello friends,
This is Mark Gleidman,
Also known as Brother Frederick James,
Your friendly neighbourhood Monk-in-Docs.
Welcoming you to day 17 of our Lenten 2026 journey through the wilderness,
Still held.
As we walk through the wilderness of John's Gospel on our way to Easter.
As we begin,
I invite you to take a slow breath in,
A gentle breath out.
Let your shoulders soften just a little.
Allow your body to relax and to find a position of attentiveness but still rest.
Today,
We enter a familiar story in John's Gospel in chapter 6.
A large crowd,
A remote place,
Rising hunger and thin resources.
This moment unfolds in the wilderness,
The kind of place where our illusions of control quickly dissolve.
The crowd's been listening to Jesus teach and the disciples look out at them.
And they immediately calculate 200 denarii,
The money they have,
Wouldn't be enough to feed these people.
Five loaves and two fish,
Well that's not even nearly sufficient,
It's even worse.
And their minds move where our minds often go when they're anxious,
Towards scarcity.
There will not be enough.
And so because there won't be enough,
We have to manage this,
We have to solve this.
We have to protect ourselves from lack.
Notice how familiar that instinct is for all of us.
Just observe it gently and it's possible this is where you're walking even today.
Where does your own mind move quickly into not enough?
Maybe it's about time or money,
Energy,
Maybe it's not enough certainty about the future.
Now watch what Jesus does.
He doesn't start with what's missing.
He begins with what is present.
He asks them the question,
Well what do you have?
Five loaves they say,
Two fish.
Insufficient by every reasonable measure for the thousands that are sitting there that day.
And yet he takes what is here,
He gives thanks and he distributes.
And somehow,
Quietly and without spectacle,
It becomes enough.
It becomes more than enough.
There are 12 baskets left over.
Now let's pause here for a moment.
Have you ever noticed in retrospect,
And it's always in retrospect,
That enough often hides inside what looks insufficient.
Let that idea,
That thought and possibly that memory settle into your body.
Enough often hides in what looks insufficient.
Take a slow breath in and out.
This is a deeply regulating text for anxious hearts because fear tends to hoard.
Fear tightens grip,
Stockpiles,
It gathers more than it needs just in case,
But trust,
However,
Receives.
Trust opens its hands.
Trust works with what is here.
Trust believes that provision unfolds daily and not all at once.
This is wilderness spirituality.
Remember when Israel wandered in the desert.
Manna was given to them but it came one day at a time.
And they were told very clearly,
No hoarding.
No packing it away and securing it for the future indefinitely.
This is daily bread,
Daily dependence.
God was trying to teach them that security wasn't to be found in accumulation like they had to do back in Egypt.
It was going to be found now in relationship and connection to God.
Where in your life do you find yourself living as though there will not be enough?
Just notice those places that rise up.
Where are you grasping?
Where are your shoulders bracing?
And now gently ask,
Is there some abundance that I might be overlooking?
Now please hear me right here.
I'm not talking about fantasy land or denial of the real limits that are before you,
But the quiet present gifts that are already here.
A conversation,
A skill,
A relationship,
A small opportunity,
A resource that you've missed because it seemed too small,
Too disconnected,
Too insignificant.
Jesus begins there with what is there,
With what is offered,
With what is enough for today.
And I invite you as you sit just to open up your hand and rest them in your lap.
And feel the difference between a clenched fist and an open palm.
Just clench your fist for a moment and notice the tension.
And now release.
Open,
Notice the softening.
It's fear that moves us to hoard,
But trust,
Trust receives.
And now imagine placing the anxieties that you're carrying at the moment,
As very real as they are,
Into open hands.
You don't have to solve tomorrow right now.
In fact,
Jesus said,
Don't worry about tomorrow,
Today has enough worry of its own.
But also remember that provision is often daily,
That grace is often daily,
Strength is often daily.
What would it feel like,
You might ask yourself,
To trust provision one day at a time,
Not forever,
Just today.
I invite you to breathe in and out.
Picture yourself seated on the hillside,
The grass beneath you,
The crowd settling,
The disciples moving among the people.
There's no rush,
There's no panic that you can see in Jesus' face or body.
Just presence and gratitude and distribution.
See the bread being broken.
See someone placing bread into your hands,
More than enough for you,
For today.
Let your whole body receive that.
And note,
My friend,
That no one is being asked to manufacture abundance.
All we are invited to do is to trust it.
Again,
I invite you to breathe in and a long,
Slow,
Steady breath out.
And as we close,
Allow this quiet reassurance to settle.
There is enough for today.
You are held within a provision larger than your calculations.
Relax that instinct to grasp.
And open your hands and see and receive what is here,
Right here,
Right now.
And rest within that.
And may grace,
Peace and love hold you,
Protect you,
Cover you and keep you safe.
Amen.
Until tomorrow,
My friends,
May God's peace always,
Always be with you.
Bye for now.
