Hello,
My name is Silas Day and today we will be talking about the mind,
Anxiety,
And thinking.
Without getting into the particularly sticky territory of the space of mind,
Or what absolutely and exactly constitutes mind,
Let's begin by considering what a mind does when caught in anxiety,
Worry,
And anxiousness.
Something I think we are kind of all familiar with to some degree.
Let's say you learn that you have some rare but perfectly curable disease.
Chemically we are almost wired to begin to automatically worry about this and that and feel the anxiety rise in us.
That anxiety eats at you slowly.
It lessens your appetite,
You lay in bed at night unable to sleep,
And it kind of gains a gnawing presence.
And then when you have been caught by that anxiety for a few days,
You begin to worry about the effects your anxiety is having on you.
And so then begin to have anxiety over anxiety.
Then we get upset with ourselves for not being able to handle things in a proper and mature way or feel like our anxieties are childish,
Which just adds another layer to it.
This is the thinking nature of the mind let loose and running wild.
This is the mind as the master of your thoughts and not the other way around,
Allowing it to stew and cycle over and over.
Now though,
That you realize this,
Shouldn't you be able to make it stop?
Perhaps,
Allow your mind to quiet and be still?
Well,
Unless you have been engaging in some pretty consistent practice,
You will find that the brakes have broken and the mind has the gas pedal pressed all the way down.
The mind seems to be totally out of control.
If you have sat down to try and meditate,
Even for five minutes you will see this.
It jumps all over the place and seems to summon the most random thoughts,
Memories,
Moods,
And sensations from nowhere.
It is as if the moment the mind learns to think,
It can't stop.
Realizing that it can be very difficult to quiet the mind,
An enormous number of people,
Especially in today's age of instant information,
Distraction,
And dopamine hits,
In some way,
Manner,
Or fashion,
Devote their lives to keeping their mind busy,
To keeping it distracted,
To keeping it entertained and fixed on something outside of themselves,
Because of just how uncomfortable they are with silence when they are alone,
With nobody saying anything to them,
And there is nothing to do.
I once had a friend of mine tell me that the most terrifying thing to them would be to be left in a room to meditate all day and reflect on their mind and thoughts.
I mean,
How much more anxious can you get as an individual than to be that afraid of yourself?
So many people,
The moment they are left alone with themselves,
The anxiety arises and they just want to run as fast as they can to get away from themselves.
In any fashion possible,
Binging YouTube videos,
Endlessly scrolling on Instagram,
Twitter,
TikTok,
Or the poison of your choice,
Really.
They say,
I don't want to be with myself.
So why?
Why don't you?
Yes,
You want to be with yourself.
Be in your own company.
Be in your mind with me,
Myself,
And I,
All those rascally characters.
What is so bad about that?
Why do you want to forget this or that?
Why do you not want to fix the brakes on your mind and just let it keep running?
Because in a way,
You and almost everyone is addicted to thoughts,
To sensations,
To the emotions,
Anxiety,
And experiences that it brings up.
You are addicted to compulsive thinking,
Compulsive comparisons,
Compulsive what ifs,
Ands,
And buts.
It is a habit which was formed from the very moment you could do it.
The difficulty lay in stopping that activity.
Seeing it come up,
Watching it be,
And watching it go without instantly grasping and clinging onto it.
And in some ways,
If you want to be truly sane,
You must figure out a way to stop it or slow it.
Otherwise,
It is like grabbing at handfuls of running water thinking you have caught the river.
If you talk and consume all of the time,
You don't need to hear what anyone else has to say and don't need to cozy up to the thought of your own original productions and your own original self.
It is the same with thinking.
If you think all the time,
You will end up only having thoughts to think about and never get a moment of silence and will find yourself caught up in the maelstrom of emotions,
Sensations,
Anxieties,
Worries,
Hopes,
Dreams,
Fears,
And everything else that the mind can generate.
I am sure you have encountered these people where it feels like it's just a surface level conversation the entire time or you find yourself having the same conversation over and over again or getting stuck on the same thought again and again,
Ruminating on it.
So then,
There comes a time when you simply must stop thinking,
Stop actively engaging,
And just let it all be.
This is what the great Zen masters mean when they say,
Try not trying.
Just let it be.
Let it wash over you and don't exert and force any of it.
Just watch.
If you try to control and yoke the mind through force,
It will be like trying to stop a volcanic eruption by pouring a single glass of water into it.
All it will do is cause more reactions.
You will come to find through meditation,
Through just letting it be and not being this way or that about it,
Just watching,
Just seeing sensations,
Thoughts,
Qualities,
Moods,
And anything and everything come and go,
It will quiet itself.
This is the radically simple teaching of meditation that I don't think it said enough.
You have to know how to get out of your own way.
Stop trying and leave your mind alone.
Just watching.
And in the watching,
It will quiet itself.
Then,
Through this silence,
Through this recognition,
You quit associating yourself with everything it throws up at you.
And with practice,
Time,
And the right balance of effort,
Those anxieties,
Those worries,
That addiction to thoughts are broken and the mind is no longer a dreadful master but a wonderful servant.
