Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board Certified Dance Movement Therapist and Trauma and Relationship Expert.
Today I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on moving from insecure to secure attachment.
To begin,
Allow your body to come to a comfortable position.
You can be doing this laying down,
Sitting up,
Or standing.
Once you find a comfortable position,
We're going to take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
One last time,
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
With your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,
I'm going to invite you now to imagine or visualize or feel into the way that your body feels when you are feeling insecurely attached.
You may even see an image or a moving image of your own body in your mind's eye.
What do you look like?
How are you holding yourself in your body?
How are you moving your body?
How are you gesturing when you are in a place of insecure attachment?
For example,
You might see that you keep your body small,
Hunched over,
Or your body looks tense and your shoulders are raised up to your ears.
There's no right or wrong.
See with your mind's eye whatever comes up this image,
This still image or moving image of you.
And once you get that image,
I'm going to invite you to bring it into your body.
So if you saw that your body became small and hunched over,
I would like for you to literally do that with your body right now.
If you saw that your arms were crossed and your shoulders were raised,
You might literally do that with your physical body right now.
And from this point,
Continue to invite movement as you're feeling into this version of you that gets insecurely attached.
How is your body moving?
How are you holding yourself in this place?
Keep some movement going.
So if you're hunched over,
You may hunch over a little bit more,
You might then explore crossing your arms or rolling your whole body into a ball and coming to the floor.
Or if you're standing up,
You might walk the way that you might typically walk if you're feeling anxious and insecurely attached.
Explore this place in your body for the next minute.
And now,
While you're here,
Keep moving,
Keep connecting to your body.
And this time,
Imagine and visualize a version of you that is securely attached.
What is the moving image of you doing?
How are you holding yourself in your body?
How are you moving differently?
Or gesturing differently?
How is your posture different as a securely attached person?
And start inviting that right away into your body from this insecurely attached place.
For example,
If you're currently keeping your body small,
But you envisioned that this secure version of you takes up lots of space and is open,
Then how can you allow your body to gradually and safely transition from this small place to this open,
Bigger place?
Don't rush it,
But take your time moving from insecure to secure attachment.
And allow this movement to naturally and organically come through.
You might find that your body begins to do things that you didn't even imagine or visualize in your own mind.
Maybe you feel the impulse to stand up tall and walk around with a bounce or some impact in your step.
In a way where you're really heard,
You really feel important,
And you know that you are.
You really believe it in your body.
How could you move your body as if you knew that you are worthy of love?
As if you really believed it with your entire mind and body and soul.
How would you move if you didn't worry anymore what your partner thought,
Or if they might find someone better?
Or if they don't respond to you for a certain amount of time,
How would you move differently as this version of you who doesn't get anxious about that because you know that no matter what is really happening on the outside,
The little things that stress you out so much each day,
You know that you are worthy of love and long-term commitment.
And so you move about your day knowing this,
Believing this,
Following through,
Not just with the thoughts in your mind,
But really embodying it.
Can you embody that right now,
Even if you're not there yet?
Just imagine,
Just bring it into your body for this temporary experience.
Your movements don't have to be big and grand either.
You might find that when you're securely attached,
You're more in touch with yourself.
Literally,
You might be touching yourself more.
You might be hugging or holding yourself or holding your own hands,
Connecting to yourself in ways that you don't because the truth is when you're so anxiously and insecurely attached,
You forget yourself.
You lose yourself by focusing so much on the other person.
So it's likely that when you become securely attached,
You're very in tune with your body and you give it what it needs.
So how can you give your body what it needs right now?
Really giving that to yourself.
I'm going to leave a minute of space for you to continue exploring this and then I will prompt us to come to a close.
Okay.
Whatever you're doing right now,
However you are moving,
Start to gradually and slowly bring your movements to a natural ending.
You might find that you naturally land in an ending pose and wherever you land,
Let's all take a deep breath together one more time.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Gently opening your eyes,
Looking around the space,
Reacquainting with the physical space that you were in and slowly coming out of this ending pose.
I wonder what helped you move from insecure to secure attachment in this movement,
Right?
So if you went from keeping your body small to taking up lots of space and opening up,
What were the things that helped you?
This answer could be really simple,
Like I took a deep breath as I moved from closed to open or I went slowly and I took my time.
So you can note and identify what movements you literally did to transition from insecure to secure and that will help inform you of what will create more secure attachment for you.
And not only will it help inform you,
But you can literally bring more of this movement into your daily life.
So if taking more breaths as you opened up was really helpful,
You can literally do that in your relationship interactions.
If moving slowly helped you stay calm and regulated as you moved from insecure to secure attachment,
The reminder to literally and metaphorically move slow might make a huge impact for you as simple as that sounds.
Please feel free to share what your experience was and I would be happy to respond and reflect.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in without fear or anxious attachment.
