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" you Place both hands on your chest and start feeling for your heartbeat Very gently extend your in-breath and your out-breath As you begin to feel some ease arrive in your body I want you to imagine that your breath is traveling in through your nose and going deep into your heart The rhythm of your heart and your breath are connecting Greeting each other To the one afraid of conflict Smile not agree Make them feel heard and important Don't think too hard and too long about what you think It's easier just to think what they think This is survival An extremely adaptive way of being which you have been perfecting since before you can remember and it works to an extent Knowing how to assimilate and not cause conflict will mean you become a master of fitting into any environment You will win the trust of people you don't trust You will be seen as part of groups you wish you weren't part of And eventually the day will come when you realize you're abandoning your soul That you have put your integrity your passion your fire up for sale In order to buy belonging It's not even a choice after a while It's a way of being in the world It feels like who you are But it is not who you are It is who you became The world needs your truth your opinions and your integrity These things are not for sale You were not born to be liked you were born to be you So My advice to you is to start simply by asking yourself What do I think?
I know this sounds obvious or oversimplistic But it's essential because unless you ask yourself this question You will eventually stop asking it will be easier not to have an opinion at all When you don't have an opinion you don't have to voice it And you can tolerate even the most absurd opinions of others as they are never going to come up against your own When you have started to ask yourself what do I think?
Know that this will never stay the same Especially if you make an effort to educate yourself around your own privilege So be prepared to change your mind about things never hold an opinion too tightly The main thing is to remember not to silence yourself To stay quiet when you really need to speak up is bad for body soul and all the other things To stay quiet when you really need to speak up is bad for body soul and all the people in this world Who need you to use your voice to advocate for a fairer and less messed up world The irony of all of this is that the peace security love and belonging You are so hoping to find in avoiding the controversy of speaking your truth will never be yours until you do We are intuitive creatures and we know when people are not showing up as their whole selves We know the people in our lives who we can rely on to tell us the truth And those who will tell us that everything is fine even when it isn't Who do we choose to surround ourselves with?
Most likely the truth tellers because they are the ones we can trust to be honest with us So we don't have to walk around on eggshells not knowing how they really feel So whilst you might lose the people who are friends on the condition of your silence What you will gain is the authentic friendship,
Trust and belonging Of those who can take your truth and love you for telling it You
