Dream And Memory Awareness Satsang

1:41:36

1:41:36

Dream And Memory Awareness Satsang

by Premasudha Janet Hobbs

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Experienced

Plays

3

It felt like every participant felt the light grow and become more and more palpable as the Satsang went on, with participants sharing their earliest memories and dreams with courage and open hearts. Truly, my hat off because I personally know how much the ego screams when threatened. I felt so touched by you all and the eternal innocence being set free. The world will be warmer and more light-filled as you come forward in your journeys. The darkness can seem big, but Amma says Innocence is the most powerful energy in the world. Please know that your bodies emit light just as the sun does. It really is true. The sun emits light as a result of nuclear fusion. You produce light through metabolic processes. Deep inner processes allow you both to emit light. I am not kidding. Science verifies these statements. We are more than we know. Keep remembering this. (Your ego wants you to forget this and stay small.) Speakers: Lalita, Kiran, Sivamayi, Lorna, Michi

Inner Child Healing Emotional Pain Childhood Trauma Dream Analysis Family Dynamics Forgiveness Spirituality Self Compassion Ego Forgiveness Practice Spiritual Guidance

Meet your Teacher

Premasudha Janet Hobbs

North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Meet your Teacher

Premasudha Janet Hobbs

North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Transcript

We're calling on Namas Grace and we're reminding ourselves that our atoms came from the stars. You were once some huge star, Part of some huge star. You were once part of a huge number of human beings. You, Your atoms have been just part of the Earth. They have been part of a beautiful sculpture, Perhaps, Part of a genius person. You're a genius. Your soul energy is infinitely intelligent. So when you allow it, You start functioning like a genius. Yeah. So, Let that intelligence have room within you. Yeah. Through devotion. Through devotion. Yeah. And knowledge. Okay, So it is. Beautiful. So, I'm so pleased to see so many of you. It's good for this. It's dealing with the inner chambers of our heart. You know? Dealing with our, The feelings of deep pain that we can get sometimes on the journey. And remember that the pain is just your soul asking you to open up. It is not your fault. It's like a knock on the door. And when we address our pain, When we embrace it, It's like opening the door to grace. Right? And the pain goes away. Guys, I really want you to understand this. This is why self-realized people walk around like happy. Because that personal pain underneath has disappeared entirely. And it's just turned into wisdom. Some of you are getting restless. Okay. So, Who's next? Who wants to come forward? With, Remember, We're talking about dreams or first memories. And if you came, You know, We'll keep running these until everybody's had a chance. And you can also speak about your biggest strength and your biggest weakness. If you've already talked to me about your dreams and early memories. Okay. Hi. Sweet one. How are you? Well, Thank you. Yeah, I remember one dream I wanted to share. Okay. Now, When was the dream, What was the dream from? How old were you? When I was a child, I used to have one dream. Stop, Stop, Stop. Yeah? How early? Like, How early? Do you know? Since my five, Six, But it kept going. Okay. Okay. Was it your earliest? I'm not sure. I remember this one very well. But if it was earliest. Okay. I can feel how you really want to talk about it. And it's good. It's good. I want to talk about it too, But I just am taking care of the deeper energy. Okay. We can talk about the dream, But do you have a first memory? I remember we used to live with my grandparents until I was three years old. And I don't know if it's a memory or if it was a dream, But I think it happened. There were stairs in the house. We were living in the house. And I rolled down the stairs like a child, You know? Oh, You fell down the stairs? Okay. Okay. Okay. Good. Okay. Good. Okay. Okay. So our first memories like that are a big arrow to our wounding. They're a big arrow to our emotional prison. Okay. So it's like what's likely is you feel like that at other times too, That you've fallen down the stairs. Okay. So that's just something to think about. But yes. Okay. Let's go to your dream that you had a lot in childhood. So I was chased by some ghost or monsters with hands. I remember hands scratching me on my back and it was very uncomfortable. I was afraid. I was running away as a child. And sometimes in some dream, Because it was a repeating dream, I saw my parents or my mom or my dad. But suddenly I realized they are not with me, Right? They're against me in the dream. Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay. Good. Okay. That's good. Right. This is a lot of how you feel Lolita on a regular basis. Yeah. You can see that? Yeah. Right. Right. Exactly. Okay. Good. Right. It also, I'm also getting the image of the child falling down the stairs, It's also connected. It's sort of like, You know, A child feeling unsupported and alone and failing, Failing, You know, In a hurt trauma, But also, You know, In a vulnerable state. Not empowered with, Oh, I learned how to tie my shoe. It's kind of the opposite. Right. Okay. Okay. This is good. But this is all exactly what your life, What is asking you to transcend, What your soul is asking you to transcend. And it's why I say to you, Like, You, You have something incredible to give. I can feel how you, It's like you don't feel equipped to be, To know how to heal this. Yeah, It's connected to my body, I think. Sorry, Pardon? What? That it's connected to my physical body weakness. Yeah. Right. It's, It's, It's, Yeah, It's really your state of mind in a way. It's, It's, But it will have all kinds of physical symptoms. And, Yeah, Sweetie, I mean, It's, It's a picture of an unsupported child, You know? And, You know, In my experience, When our parents, When our family lines aren't living in truth, We, You know, And people are in fear or they're, You know, Running like really negative thoughts. That does attract negative spirits. And sometimes as kids, We're really aware of this. And I think that's part of why kids get scared of ghosts and everything, Because they're aware of the family emotional climate is attracting negative energies. Now, It's all healable. Yeah. This is, You know, And it's kind of in a way, I'm very glad that you're turning up to these sad sayings, Because it's, It's, I'm going to keep reminding you of this, That it's healable. In fact, It's your Dharma, But you heal it by, You know, Embracing it, Feeling it, Being with it and knowing it's not the truth. Okay. Reminding yourself it's not the truth. Yeah, You're kind of I'm seeing on a subtle levels, You're kind of like a stunned, You're stunned. You're, It's almost like on some levels, You're still in shock with, With it, Like, Yeah, You're still kind of shocked. And I'm kind of, It's kind of like that's part of what I'm doing, I'm kind of, You know, Tapping your face, Come on, Come on, Wake up, Come on, You know, You're okay, You're okay, You're okay. I do feel like this a lot, You guys, That I'm trying to wake up sleeping people that you guys are asleep and I'm going, Hello, Hello, Hello, Really, Really is really like that for me. Right. Okay, Good. Okay, Good. Yeah, So how do you feel right now? Yeah, I can relate to everything. I feel like I just started feeling you know, At this point of my life. I just really started feeling. Right. Right. Right. You know, You're with this patterning, You're a little skewed toward the victim to lack of power so I'm, I want you to do like, You know, Counting your blessings. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want you to like try to fix this pulling into loss of power, I don't want you to fix it. I'm wondering you do like Lolita the fact you get the big picture really well. Okay, That is fantastic when I say the biggest things you get it. Okay, So you get this. And the thing that you're finding undigestible is this personal skewing toward weakness and feeling abandoned and feeling lack of power. Okay, So it's like focusing on gratitude. Blessings, It's such a powerful thing to do. And just understanding that the eyes you see through that it's not completely accurate, That this patterning distorts what you see. And it distorts your view of yourself. This, The fact that you really get when I talk at the biggest level, I can feel your body. I can feel your comprehension. And so, If you keep going to the highest understanding, That will help strengthen you. Yeah, That's, Again, One of the most powerful things you can do. Like keep focusing, Reading books that are at the highest level of spirituality. Yeah, And that is your gift, Like it's, I see you as becoming, You could become a really powerful teacher. Because of the understanding of these, Because you would understand how captivating this call towards weakness is, But you would have lodged in the bigger, Bigger understanding. Right, Right. Right. Okay. And I'm gonna say, It's like, Find your way out of the pity party. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I hate to, It's like I'm bringing my scalpel out. It's, It's based on the misunderstanding that, Like you're a divine being, You can overcome anything. Right. Right. And I actually see that I've put my scalpel in, And I'm seeing this past flowing out, The misunderstanding, The misunderstanding that, You know, That you're weak when you're not. That's it. Right. It helps you get access to your light. Yeah, It's that point of focus keep going to the divine read really high level books like Lao Tzu, Like, You know, The path of the, The path, The water course way, The path of the Tao, Like the really big stuff. Fun to play. Right. Okay. And that will help free you. Okay, Good. Okay, I can feel you've taken that to heart. And this is, This is the reason I know this will work for you is because I'm getting the guidance that it will but also it is exactly what I did. I kept focusing on the big, Big, Big understanding. Right. Okay. Hold on a minute. There's something that it's like you. It's like part of you doesn't want me mixing up your experience with mine, But this experience has brought me here and it's, It's priceless and I want you guys to realize that I had my humanity to deal with to, You know, I had my patterning to deal with. I was just like you, Just like you. There isn't any difference. There's just more years difference. Yeah. That's it. Okay, So you're letting a channel open around in your belly to allow more light in to help you embody it. Okay, Good. Right. Good. Good. Okay, Good work. I will help the whole group. And everybody got very quiet there was restlessness but everybody got very quiet and that last bit about the embodying it's very good. Great. Okay, Thank you. Who else hasn't come forward yet. Hi. Hi sweet one. How are you. I'm all right. Yeah, Yeah. I have a early memory and a dream, I could talk about, I guess the memory, Or the. Yeah. Yeah. I was around three. And it's kind of like my. I think my family. It was right after my first sister was born. I was three. Yeah. And my dad. He cheats. And so I think my mom and aunt were trying to bring him home. They found out the apartment where he was with this lady, And they took me and my sister there, And I remember they were knocking on the door. And he didn't open he didn't say anything. But then they. They, They said like okay we're going to leave her here, We're leaving, But they didn't actually leave. They, They went around the corner. And I could see their faces but I felt really weird. And I didn't want to stand there but I just stood at the door and then he opened it and took me in. Because I think he thought that they had actually left me alone there. And, And then. So I kind of saw the clothes on the floor, And they put me on the. I think he bathroom was behind the couch and I think he had, Like, Shoot her before he let me in into the bathroom, And then kind of put me on the couch with like a big bag of popcorn. And I remember sitting there eating the popcorn. And then I think, I think she maybe she wanted to close or something like they were talking behind me but I just remember looking forward and eating the popcorn and seeing like kind of her bra on the floor. Okay. Okay, So let's just stay with this maybe the. We might get to the dream but maybe the dream, Another day, Because there's a lot in this. Okay. So, How do you feel about it, What do you. Um, I feel like there's like a lot of not good feelings like I feel really like something wrong was happening there I didn't want to be there. I did, I really didn't like that my mom and aunt left me alone like I remember like kind of feeling scared and like, I think abandoned as well, Like I had to deal with this instead of them as the adult. Yeah. So the really good thing is you. You have a good memory of this. And you can remember your feelings so I just want to say like, Corinne that's really good and it's, It's unusual. Lots of times people forget a lot of how they felt about things. So, It takes courage you guys to be able to remember how you felt during these difficult times as a kid. Okay. I want you to get that it's funny you, You're not receiving that. It's okay. It's okay. Sorry. And part of why you're not receiving it is also a key to that dream. So you were put like knowing you, You know, At least a little bit, I, I can see how I can see what happened partly, It's kind of the message was you were really uncomfortable you're having to popcorn. So you were given instructions, And you were basically be being told to dumb down and not see what was being played out right in front of you and that you were part of, You know, Piece you've been brought to the apartment so they brought you into it to use you as a tool, Basically, To get through to your father. So, But the dumbing down is exactly why, Like the, The family, The, What you got out of that experiences was just stay numb, Dumb, And just go along. Yeah. Right. Okay, So that is why you have trouble receiving what I said to you at the very beginning about the courage it takes to remember these experiences, And remember how you felt. And it's like the trouble receiving it was because, Because of this overrun of override of just stay small stay blind stay you know see no evil speak no evil, Hear no evil. So how do you feel when I say this. I feel it's true. And I feel kind of like I'm feeling kind of flutters in my chest. Like in your heart area. Yeah. Right. Right. So, It could be like nervousness but also the other side of nervousness is excitement, Like, Oh, I could go through the door. There's a door there for me to go through it's scary, But it's going to lead to more light. Right. Right. But it's like, I can feel the parental sit on the couch, Eat popcorn, Like, Stay static, Static. Don't move. Right, It was that that's part of what was in the situation, Don't move, Because if you move, You're going to see what you're going to see, Like, Yeah, And I'm going to see her you're going to see more of clothes and everything. So is this don't move, And that has been bothering you all your life is don't move. And it wouldn't have been said verbally. Yeah. Yeah. But this is just a picture of something that you were caring for mother lives and it's being played out again. Like, I want you to see that it's, It's the thing you have to swallow and digest to get your freedom. It's, It belongs to you, Rather than to the members of your family. Okay, Yeah. Right. Again, I'm getting this. Not wanting to get this. And it's, It's not a full thing it's it's it's part of what you're carrying from other lives but it's also part of that situation is, Don't move. It's almost like there would be shouting it internally. Don't move it and eat popcorn. Don't register what's going on. Right. Yeah. I can feel like almost like a hand or something on my throat. Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay, So I just want you to imagine Alma coming and sitting behind you and holding you and you're just behind. She's behind you and she's just holding you like, You know, Yeah. Because she is, And your soul really is. Right. And I'm seeing that your way out is going to be through forgiveness. It's like, It's like really you have, You'll, You'll have to find a way to forgive them all. And that, That is going to free you I can feel it it's that's how you're going to do it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Because when we forgive others we we end up forgiving ourselves too, You know. Yeah. You know. Yeah, The forgiveness is really important. It's really easy to sit and seethe about what people did and so it's good to acknowledge it, But it's, It's, It's seething about it ruminating about negative stuff about your family is, Is for the past keeps us really stuck. Yeah. Yeah. I can feel that you've gone numb. Yeah, You're kind of staying small energetically. It's okay. It's okay. How do you feel right now? A little bit sad. Yeah. Yeah. I feel a pressure on my head. Yeah, You know, You guys when you get the pressure on your head it's like, It's your crown chakra is being asked to open. It's like, It's like God knocking on the door it's like the Creator knocking on our crown chakra, So that we can get the comprehension. So, We can get the comprehension too. So, You don't have to do anything with it, But it's, It's sort of like, You know, Understanding too that we have to move into more trust. So, Learning, You know, What is it chicken and the egg? Do we forgive because we trust more or does this, Does forgiveness bring us into a greater state of trust? Yeah. You know, Corinne, Whenever you get round to it, I can feel that you're going to forgive them. Okay, So I want you to relax a little, Like, You will. I can feel it, You will. I can feel my mind going to like, How do you do that, Like the fixing kind of thing. Right. Yeah, Right, Exactly. So, We just have to get like little innocent kids like, Please show me how to forgive them. Please help me forgive them. Please help me forgive myself. Yeah, It just happens. Our souls bring us to it. But you guys, It happens more likely if you think about God a lot. You think about the Creator a lot. If you wonder who you are, Really, That is fertile ground for forgiveness. Yeah. Oh, I can see your soul. Your soul is so much bigger than your personality. It's like, I can see it very, Like, Your soul is really showing itself to me. And that is progress, That you're allowing me to see it. Do you see that it's a measure that your defenses have gotten, Have relaxed a little. Yeah. You see, Corinne, Like, I know you. So, It's sort of like, You know, Do those practices, You know, Do the things I'm saying to do, Do them. And your patterning would like to keep you static, Eating popcorn, And not moving, Not seeing. But it's going to cause you pain to keep doing that. Yeah. Right. Right. You guys, We're here to wake up. It's our jobs. It's our job. Nothing will go well till we do. We will keep hitting walls, Blind alleys, Be in pain until we wake up. That's it. And you're saying to me, I got to get a handle on it. I got to do this. I got to get a handle on it. This is what we're like. Yeah. And it's like, You'll get a handle on it when you really see the need for it. Do you know? When you really admit that it has to happen, The waking up, You'll do it. And, Yeah, You'll do it. You got a really powerful soul back in there. Yeah. And it's like this life is the end of the line for what you've been doing until now. Like, It is the end. It's going to stop this life. I can feel it. Okay. Okay. So let this, What I'm saying, Comfort you, Right? I feel happy in my soul. This is the last time you're going to be so blind and passive. About time. It's like this. I can feel it. It's like. Yeah, You see, Everybody, We all get this stuff. Like, Sweetie, You're just one of us. You know, We're. This is where I thought we're bumbling human beings, You know, But I can feel it's like this is the end of the line. It's like. It's almost like being in a train and that you're in the caboose and there's no car behind it to fit in. You're in the caboose right now and you're tired of the caboose and you're not going to do it again. And it's going to end this life. And that's why you set up such heavy patterning. To make it so uncomfortable that you had to move. Do you understand this? Yes. Okay. Right. And again, I want to draw something parallel to me. I remember in high school looking around and thinking to myself that my pain was so much more intense than most of my. Colleagues, You know, The students like I knew it. I knew it. I knew I was just suffering incredible inner pain. And I thought to myself, Because the pain is so terrible, I'm going to be dumping it this life. You know, And at the time I thought, And, And they won't make much progress. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. In my ego high school ego thing that was kind of how I, I, But indeed it's, It's true I ended up dumping it this life. So I want to draw this parallel of I was in the caboose too. Right. You're going to get a little more matter of fact about your pain, You're, You're going to feel less kind of victimized by it a little less, You know, There's a feeling that your pain, It just paralyzes you. And it's going to become a little less, You're going to get a little more matter of fact, It's going to become less paralyzing, Just from this. Okay. Yeah. How are you. That felt really good. That. Yeah. Yeah, Where I can be more present without being lost in the pain. Yeah, Ization that seems to just always be here. Yeah. It's just a little bit sweetie, You know, But it's enough to give you to make it easier for movement. Yeah, It's, I can feel it, It's as if your body took in some light photons I'm really not kidding right around your belly that you took in light right at your belly, Which is where we digest we stomach and digest and learn how to embody. Right. Right, But it will dawn on you that as you don't just as you go forward that your soul can solve it. You just have to keep turning to the soul. Okay. Keep turning to your soul. Keep doing the things that make your soul feel better. Right. Yeah. You could also write a story about a little girl sitting on a sofa, Eating popcorn, Who gets up and walks out the door and has a much better time after that. You could write a little story like that. Right. That's what I did. And when stuff was insolvable I just write stories about it like that, You know, But do it with your whole heart. Okay. All right, Let's save your dream for next time. Okay, Because I want you to, It will overload you and I want you to sit with this and then speak, Tell me about the dream next time. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming forward. Some of you are restless, Some of you are captivated. Some of you are wondering what it all has to do with you, But it's all you. It's all you, You guys. Everybody who's speaking, It's all you. Okay, Who's next? Hi, Prema Sudha. Hi, Prema Sudha. It's Shiva Mai. And I apologize. Yeah, I apologize. I can't get my picture to come up. I don't know what the problem is, But it won't come up. No worries. I thought a lot about, You've mentioned more than once about the first memory, And I've done some work with it, But my very first memory, I was probably three at least. I could have been a little younger because of the, I know where we lived and everything, And we moved from there when I was like three and a half. And my father, He drank too much, And he used to lose a lot of jobs and that kind of thing. And I think he lost the job, And my mom and dad were fighting. And I was in bed, And he came into the bedroom, And he laid down and he said, Don't worry. If we get a divorce, I'm going to take you with me. And I thought, Oh, Gosh, I know how to sweep. I must have had a broom. Oh, I know how to sweep. I can take care of him. And so that was just joy thinking he was going to take me with me. It made me feel special. And I realized that I felt like I need to take care of everybody, And yet I've always felt like I can't do it. It's just too much. I have this feeling of taking care of people, But never feeling like I'm successful at it. So I could see the deep wound that that made. And I can also see that my dad was 25 or something like that, Drunk, Lost the job, Needed counselors. I don't know. I was so crazy about him. And I'm sure that he was very endeared to me because I was really a daddy's girl. So I see, Too, From his point of view that I don't think he realized how screwed up that was going to make me, But it's something I've carried. Right. So is that your first memory? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, It's a big first memory. I mean, There's such a lot in it, Right? I mean, Yeah. Yeah, It's sort of like, Just feels like, In a way, There's this house falling down on you. Energetically, As you're in bed, Lying there like age three, As if the house falls down on you. It's kind of like the enormity of that feeling of, Yeah, Obligation. Okay, I'll take care of them. And how can I do it? You're just three. Oh, My goodness. It's incredibly poignant, You know, Sweetie. Yeah, I wish I could see your face, But. . . I know. Yeah, But. . . I know. I worked on trying to get it. Yeah, It's funny. It's okay. It's okay. It's just funny that it's not there, But we'll get there. And there's a good reason why. Oh, I can feel. It's like, I can feel actually kind of the reason for it. It's like, You hide your real self. I can feel that. It's like, Yeah, That's what this did. It's like your real self went into hiding. You guys, Between two and three, There's points where the ego comes on, Where we lose our connection of self to take on our egos. And there will be moments when we do this. And it's sort of like, Shivamai, It's as if this was your moment, In a way. I can feel your little, Little, Dear, Human, Three-year-old self. She just kind of went into hiding. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I can feel this. And she went into hiding kind of in a big way. Like he went, Oh, How am I going to handle this? I'll do it. You make this big. Oh, I'll do it. I'll do it. And I'll take care of them. And how will I do it? Like it was a big moment. Yeah, I can feel it. This bigness of this moment. And it's kind of, You know what I'm getting the image of it almost reverberating right through the universe. It was such a big moment. You know, We do, You know, You guys, We are one. And everything that goes on with us goes on in the whole universe. Yeah, Shivamai. Yeah. How do you feel when I say this? I know it was a big moment in my life. It's weird to see or think that it had something to do with the universe. But it's very, Now, You know, It's funny, Because I remembered, I've been aware of this memory for years, And I never was in touch with the pain that was involved in it, You know, And really the enormity of how much I took it all on. And then my dad went on to, You know, To drink himself to death. And here I had committed myself to taking care of him. I mean, No wonder I felt so inept, You know, I never had faith in myself. And I can remember as a kid, Thinking, You know, He drinks because there's something so wrong with me. And I always thought that was an odd thing to think. And I wondered, Like, How did I get that? And that's how I got it. I thought I was supposed to take care of him. And I couldn't really do it, You know? Yeah. Yeah, It's funny. And I'm feeling, You know, Yeah. And it's really good to feel the pain, But I'm feeling like you are here to take care of your own soul. This is the rub. Yeah. Right. And actually, I can feel that this whole thing about hiding is getting, It's like you're getting fed up with it. You're getting tired of it. Yeah, You might as well come forward. Yeah, It's like you guys, When you really feel the pain of it, You feel it fully, And you give it all to Amma, You will be healed. When we're scared to feel the pain of it, We don't heal. You don't have to feel the pain for long. It can be like five minutes. This is exactly why I'm doing these satsangs. So you have permission to go down and feel this stuff in a safe place so that you can let Amma, The creator, Come in and heal it. So you can let your soul heal it. So you can let this wound be rewoven. It's good. How do you feel, Shivamayee? A little empty, I think. And sad. Mostly in my heart space, I think I feel, You know, Really sort of a grief, I guess, Or a heaviness. Yeah. Unlocking this memory and really examine it really has given me a lot of insight, You know, Of my lack of faith in myself, And my lack of faith in everybody, You know, My lack of being able to believe really in Amma wholeheartedly. Yeah. This is it. Yeah, And it's also like, Okay, This may help you. It's also why you're so outer focused in a way, You know? I mean, Our culture is outer focused. And you would have come in with this to heal it, But if you look at that little scenario, It's totally you're focused on your dad, Right? Like, There's no, You totally give up your whole self. Yeah. Right. Yeah. On outer focus without any concern for you. Okay, This is what I bump into most within you, Shivamaya, Outer focus, And how it's almost like you almost feel phobic about addressing yourself, Or when I first met you, You were phobic about it. Being a little harsh, But I'm being truthful. It's true, What I'm saying. Right. Right. So it's that step. When we, You know, When we have when we start running this, Oh, I'm not good enough, Or, You know, And everybody's not good enough. It's like, To be able to put your arms around yourself. To embrace this, What you do to yourself and what you do to others to embrace it. To embrace it, And kala nama. Right. It's, You guys, The taking a step for yourself is really up in this satsang world. It has to happen you guys. This is a shift into waking up. We realize that nobody can help us, But us. Even there are people who maybe have a hug from Amma, 500 hugs, Who might not change much because they're not allowing this. And so the seeds would go into the future, Premasutra things, But I have no idea because I can't speak about Amma. So it's sort of like, Can you embrace that child? Can you? Yeah. I did mentally, You know, While you said that, You know, And I just told her, Look how hard you tried, You know, You were good, You tried so hard. Yeah. I was given an impossible task and I kept being, You know, And I've tried. I just, You know, Reassured her that she's tried hard. Yeah. Just that, I guess. So there's part of you, And this is, I feel this in lots, So it's not just you, Shivamaya. Like the level you're speaking, You did it, And you're telling me about it's good, But there's a level of, It's like we get like school kids following the teacher's orders in a, Like in a school setting, So we're doing the right thing. But there's not as much heart in it as we need. Like I want, As time goes on, More heart to come into this embrace of her. Like your patterning would be, Yeah, Be a good girl and embrace her, But it's like, Really do it. Yeah. Okay, So I can feel like your little kid is fighting. She's almost going, No, I don't deserve it, I'm not, I'm not, I can't, Don't, Don't, Don't hug me, Don't love me, Don't, I'm not good, I'm, I'm, I'm wrong. It's like she's going, I'm wrong, I'm wrong in such a deep place, I'm wrong. Aw, Sweetheart. Yeah, Right. And this would have been also how your dad felt. Yeah. Yeah. You know the patterning coming down. Yeah. Right. Right. Aw, Sweetie. Yeah, You see all their hearts are going up, Everybody knows what it feels like, I'm a student. I would just get up again, That's my only claim to fame, That I never stopped. Right. Right. And the wrongness is, It's, It's just, We're out of alignment. So that's, Like the little child felt she, Her soul was wrong but when we become, Grow up, It's really telling us we're out of alignment. Yeah, Shivamaya, I just, May I be the, The person to tell you, Once and for all, That this is a falsehood, That you are divine, That you are right, That you cannot do anything wrong in the highest sense of the word. Perspective. Mistakes are impossible for you, Errors are impossible for you. Truly, From the highest perspective. Yeah. You're a divine being, And you are gracing the earth with your presence. Right. Yeah, That is the truth of things you guys, All of you, You're divine beings, And you're gracing the rest of us with your presence. I am not kidding. That is the truth of things. You're gracing us with your infinite loving presence. And as I'm saying this, Shivamaya, I can see your egg-shaped, You know, There's a level that we're egg-shaped of energy, Of golden illuminated energies. Okay, And I can see it. I can see your divine nature. Truly, I'm seeing it right through the dark of the picture. Yeah. No, Really. Yeah. I'm seeing the reality of you. That's you. Right. This is very, Very good. This is very, Very good. This is very good, And I'm feeling like there's kind of going to be a kinship that develops between us as there's a recognition of this, That I am one golden egg-shaped energy recognizing another gold-shaped energy. Do you understand, You guys? It's just the Creator recognizing the Creator in each one of you. That's what this is. Helping to free the Creator. Helping to free the inner Amma. Helping to free that little one's eternal energy. The little one. Yeah. Yeah, Who's such a loving, Such a loving little girl. And your dad, You know, I have personally, I have a lot of empathy for people who get caught in addictions, You know, Because sometimes I think the best, The best of all get caught in these. Like I can feel your dad. Yeah, Your dad's. He was a dear soul. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, He'll be blessing you. I can feel this. He'll be blessing you. He is blessing you. I can feel it. Yeah, Because this is also helping him. Not that it's your obligation. It's not, But as a byproduct. No, You know what? This is the highest gift you could give him, And you're doing it. You see? You're doing it. I can feel it. He's sending blessings. I mean, He's such a showering blessing. This is really helping. This is how we can really help each other in the family line when we deal with our stuff. It helps the whole family. It helps everybody individually. It helps everybody, As well as everybody on Earth. That's it. You didn't know you were so powerful. There's a little bit of a. . . Yeah, I'm wanting you to step forward energetically to kind of really accept what I'm saying. There's a part of you that's got. . . You see, The thing that's gotten in your way a lot is pride. Even though, You see, Pride can function in the negative. We can either feel above everybody or below everybody. It's the same mechanism. So how do you feel when I say this? It's like. . . I think it's very true. I think you're right on as far as. . . Yeah, I'm so horrible. That kind of a pride. I really understand that. I work in here. I feel this resistance still, But I'm willing to work with it. I feel still there's part of me that just wants to resist all of this. But I'm aware and I'm ready to change. Yeah, Sure. That's it. You guys, In the energy of being, You're aware of resistance. You're just aware of it. But you don't fight it. It's just part of the whole package. You're just aware of it. And that will clear it. Yeah. Yeah, It's funny. It's like with the stepping through this pride I'm getting, You're saying, Your little one's saying, I don't deserve to live. That's what it is. I don't deserve to live. I think your dad ran that too. Say, I don't deserve to live. I don't want to say that. I know. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to live. I think your dad ran that too. I say, I don't deserve to live. I don't want to say that. I know, Because your pride doesn't, Because your, Your ego's going to get busted. That's why. Well, And you know, This full dinda, You know, That was an unwanted pregnancy. I don't deserve to live. I don't, I don't deserve to live. Right. Yeah. So there it is. You spat it out. How does it, How do you feel? Sad. Yeah. Right. Good. Yeah. Right. I'm seeing this little kid sitting cross-legged, Seeing these spots of like tar and shame on her. Like she can see, She can see the shame now. Like you're going conscious about it. It's good. You're going conscious. Yeah. You're going to be able to witness better, Shivamari. You guys, This is what happens. You're going to be able to witness better. Yeah. It's beautiful. Yeah. And I'm seeing the light getting stronger and the work getting stronger. Yeah. And I'm seeing these spots of shame and guilt lifting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys, We get experiences of like, You just get free of it. And then there's, You know, There's always more homework till we become self-realized. And even then you, At self-realization, You get your marching orders for what you're to do. Like, You know, You're just happy about it. What a joke. You're just happy about it. Yeah. Good work, Shivamari. No, Thank you for being there. Thank you. Oh, It's my joy. And remember you guys, The reason that I can even do this is because it's all the same thing. It's all the same stuff that Pramasutta faced. Yeah. It's very good work. You're going to notice a difference. Yeah. Yeah. And the cells of your body will be able to receive more light. They'll actually be able to receive more nutrition. I can feel it. You guys, When we don't like ourselves, Really, I really do think it stops us from fully absorbing our food. We think we're not, We don't deserve it. Yeah. Okay. This is such good. So good. You guys, Satsang members, J Ma, Like, Oh, Fantastic. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Who's next? Hi, Pramasutta. It's Lorna. Lorna, Sweetie. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. A few different things have come to mind. I'm not sure which one would be the most relevant. The earliest dream that I thought was a dream was I later in life found out was actually like a kind of experience I had while I had a fever. And I was about, I suppose in a way it's quite simple, But I was about four. Yeah. I was about four when I had the fever. I've also been thinking about this earliest memory while other people were talking when I was two, But I thought, Oh, That's, It's quite vague. So I didn't know if that would be more relevant. I'll go with a memory or this fever experience. Yeah. No, No, No. Go with the earliest thing. The earliest. Okay. Okay. So. Dream or memory. Yeah. It's, It's kind of vague, But I was thinking about it more as, As you were talking and I think I was two. And I think I was standing in a cop and I wasn't at home, Which is really, Really unusual actually in my whole childhood, But we were visiting my aunt, Um, Which was some distance away. And I, All I really remember is the feeling that I was standing there and I caught, And I, Like, I think I sensed that there were a lot of people downstairs. Um, And I guess I was on my own and then I remember someone coming into the room, But it wasn't my mum. So I guess maybe someone else had come in to check on me. And that's about all I remember. I don't remember any particularly strong feelings coming with it. Um, I guess I felt a little bit alone. I guess I felt a bit like strange because I know I was in a strange place. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. I can, I can feel that now. Yeah. Right. Actually, It's actually a good thing because I have felt this in our talks that you feel this way about yourself actually, That it's like when you like deal with your real self, It's sort of like for, For you, It's like being in a strange place, Like as if you're, You're yourself is like this strange place where, And there's not proper support, You know, It's like, It wasn't your mum coming in or that. Yeah. And that there's no connection. There's no connection. I felt this. Yeah. Yeah. Do you understand what I'm talking about? Yeah, I think so. Like a kind of, Just a disconnect. Yeah. And I, And I, I actually feel that I felt that way for most of my early years. Like I didn't feel in touch with my, I think I was very in my head. I wasn't in my emotions. I don't have a lot of other strong memories of childhood and like of emotions or feelings. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's, Yeah, A disconnect and maybe, Yeah, Maybe feeling like a stranger. Right. Right. Yep. That, That is true. And it's like, But, But also to your conscious self, It's like your true self feels like a stranger, You know, Like your true self feels like a different house than you, Than your real home. Do you see? Hmm. Yeah. It is how you are with your inner self. You're like that. Your inner self is like a strange home and the people aren't familiar. Yeah. And it's funny. I want you to get over this. Yeah. Don't worry about it too much. It's just, Just felt quite a strong, Not like not a weight in my stomach. Just a few moments ago when you were talking. Just that, Or just maybe after I said the sentence about feeling like a stranger. Right. It's easing a little bit now. You felt a weight in your stomach? Yeah. Like a kind of tense tension and a weight. Okay. So good. So this is ego coming up to be cleared. Right. And it's around right in the Hara, Like Hara, My second chakra. Also, You know, I'm stomaching and digesting our divinity. Yeah. And actually what I'm feeling is that when that you're, I'm getting your child self very clearly and it didn't, It's sort of like nothing made sense to her because she was in this new surrounding with these new people. It's like, It doesn't make sense. Yeah. And that's also how you are with yourself. Like it, It's like it, It doesn't make sense. Like, Yeah. You know, Lorna, You, You really need to let the penny drop. Yeah. That's funny. It's coming very strongly. The guidance coming in to me is saying very strongly to you, You need to let the penny drop. You could go round in these blank circles for your whole life. Round and round and round. Or you can let the penny drop. Which do you want to do? I want to let the penny drop, But I don't know. I feel like I don't know what penny is to drop. If you know what I mean, It still feels. You're going. Yeah. Maybe I just feel like I disconnect again or I just, Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what you'd be if you let the penny drop. You know, You'd be a much better therapist. Much better. That's what Premasiddha did. I just let the penny drop. I didn't even get psychological training. I just got, I let the penny drop. I understand myself psychologically. So I understand you guys psychologically. I let the penny drop. That is why this work works. And remember when I was talking about, What was it? Feynman's expression, Cargo culture science and cargo culture therapy. Where people are trained, But they don't really understand themselves. Right. Yeah. And so the therapy they do is kind of, The effectiveness is reduced because they don't get themselves. So they can't really get their client. Yeah. The heart's not in it. Right. Okay. This is your question. That early memory is a picture of the pressure to not allow your heart into your life. Yeah. And, You know, There's no rush. Just hearing this will help. It's like popping the balloon, You know, Like it's the balloon of false understanding. It's, This is freeing you just hearing this and letting it percolate. Yeah. And the root of why it's hard for you is there's something about power in your family that it's like part of letting the penny drop is you become powerful and that is not allowed in your family. I can feel it or it's not allowed for women. Yeah. That makes sense. Yep. So there you are. This is your cone. This is your, What you're faced with this life, You know, You love, And yet you're not allowed to be powerful. So how is this going to be solved in your life? You will solve it. You will solve it. Yeah. Part of you doesn't want to understand what I'm saying. And there's no rush, Like there's no rush, You know. Don't, Please don't think that I'm putting any pressure on you. Yeah. No, I was thinking earlier, I felt a little bit confused just moments ago, But then I'm like, I'm also thinking it's not really me or it's my soul or the creator that solve it. It's not really me. So I just have to. Yeah, Connect with that or allow it or. Yeah, I'd be. Yeah, Have to see how confused you are. And, And really go, Oh, Help me. Help me. Yeah. You know, You guys, What will happen is I'll only, You know, If you keep coming to me with a problem, I will address it. And if you keep coming to me and there's no change, I will start putting pressure on you. Okay. So if you don't want pressure from me, Then just don't talk to me. Just be a passive observer in the sad thing. Okay. Because I'll tell you, If you, If you come forward and want my attention, And I speak to you about an issue, That implies that you're willing to move forward on it. Some of you keep wanting my attention without taking any action about what I'm saying. And I will push you away if you do that. And, But not with any, But with total reverence and respect, It's not like bad. It's just like, It's just like being asked the same question and giving the same answer. And the person comes again with the same question. You don't want to have to keep saying the same answer. Yeah. So, And as I'm saying this, What I'm communicating is, It's actually your responsibility to allow this to be solved in your lifetime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is results oriented work. The energy of love behind these words, And that the fact you are divine beings, Is actually doing the healing, You guys. It's my soul, You know, Amma, My soul, And your guys's soul. This is what does the healing. We're just making room for it. But premasuddha isn't healing you. It's all done by the soul. We get together in the satsangs, And we make room for it. We, We open our understanding to make room for the bigger healing. Mm-hmm. Well, Funny, I'm seeing pictures of ancient Greece. Maybe we were in ancient Greece together. Who knows? Yeah. Really? Yeah. So, How do you feel, Lorna? Okay. Kind of neutral. Yeah. There's nothing. A little bit, Not tingly, But I feel like I can feel my whole body more, Like, Just as a whole. Good. Like, I feel a little bit more whole, Maybe. At least the head of it. You guys, Do you see what a big thing that is? To feel a little bit more whole is it. That's it. That's it. Good work. And just be very gentle with yourself, Because you're in, Involved in setting up your profession. You have to be very patient and gentle with yourself. But stay alert. Stay alert. Think about what I'm saying. Keep talking to the divine. Keep talking to. Right. Yeah. Right. This is really good. If you guys are making that shift to embody, You're feeling your whole body like that, That's it. The unity of your body and soul. Beautiful. Beautiful. Thanks, Lorna. We'll talk another time about your dream when you had a fever. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. There's time for one more question or comment. Oh, There's Shiva Maya. Shiva Maya has manifested. Here she comes. Yeah. You see, You guys, It's a metaphor for stepping through the ego into embodiment. Really, Shiva Maya. I'm not joking. I'm serious. It's good. Yeah. All of a sudden, I just clicked around and I got the solution to my trouble. Honestly. Thank you. Hello, Everybody. Yeah. You guys, We get the data. You get the feedback. Yeah. The physical world is always showing us the truth of things. Yeah. Okay. There's time for, If anybody, It's nearly 11. If anybody needs to go, Please. But if there's time for one more question. Hi, Prema Sudha. Yes. Maxi, Michi. I can't remember an early child's dream, But my earliest memory is about my parents used to watch TV in the evening. And I was lying in my bed and my mom was always opening the door of the wardrobe so we can look at the TV. And I can remember I felt it was so unfair to me because we have to listen to it and we could not sleep and to watch it. And when you spoke about something 10 minutes ago, I felt like maybe this fightiness in me, My whole life, Maybe it's connected to it. Right. So you were in your bedroom and your mom opened the door of the wardrobe to the TV. And was she in there wanting to watch TV? Who was wanting to watch TV? Yeah. My parents wanted to watch TV. Oh, And they were all in the room. Oh, Okay. Yeah. And we should sleep. But sometimes it took too long for us to fall asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. The fightiness. Yeah. And the fact your needs weren't, The problem is your needs weren't embraced and considered. Your needs weren't considered. They were lower down. And yeah, You got fighty about it. And you do this. Yeah. Yeah. And it's good you do it in a way because, You know, It means you can heal. But it's learning how to not, How to embrace rather than fight. Embrace and let your awareness grow. There's also the thing about the TV that it was words. And it's where you get stuck is, It's partly you're hooked into words, Rather than the meaning behind them. Do you know what I mean? And you lose track of your body when you get too involved with words. You lose track of your deeper self. Yeah. It's all in there in the situation. Your needs weren't met. And also as part of that, That's how we lose track. We disconnect from our inner selves as kids because we're not considered worth it. We think we're not worth it. Retreated. We don't feel deeply valued. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's funny. I can feel, Sweetie, There's an intrinsic rage in you. This is, This is the thing you're gagging on. It's like there's an intrinsic rage in you. I can see it like it's down the center of your body. And I'm seeing it like a spring, Like a bed spring, Like a bed spring, Right? But it's red hot with rage. And it's like the cure for this will be for you to learn to step back and witness yourself. Step back from your storylines a little bit. Okay, I can feel I don't want to do that. I can feel this real resistance, Like you're telling me what to do. But I'm going to bring up, Remember with the teaching and you were leaving your school and you, The principal had said you not to tell the kids and you were batting your head against this and fighting. And I said, What about the needs of the kids? And you were totally blind to the deeper needs of the kids. And this is what you do. You get blind to the deeper need of kids, But also your deeper need. Yeah, You don't want to face this in yourself. It keeps you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're scared. I know why you don't want it because you're just scared of feeling more guilt or more shame. And it's like, You don't deserve any guilt or shame. You're a seed sprouting. You're beautiful. Yeah. You know, Mitchie, There is a dark rigidity that you came in with. Okay. You see, You guys, This is what's underneath the memories of what has happened to us. Okay. Okay. Sweetie pie. It's a dark rigidity and it makes you very reactive in some ways. And you're going to have to give the whole thing to Amma. Yeah. Because you are so much more than this. Like you're so much more than this. So how do you feel when I talk about the dark rigidity? Are you not speaking? Are you frozen? I don't know. Yeah. Yes, I was frozen. Yeah. How do you feel about the dark rigidity when I say that? Yeah, I can feel it. I can also feel the rage. Right. And it's like a big, Yeah. It's like a black hole inside of me. And there's a pressure on my breast. Okay. So the pressure on your breast is love wanting to come into your heart. Okay. So this rigidity makes it hard for you to really love yourself. It's funny, The words that are getting like, Now just hear these words. They're not really true, But I'm being told I have to speak them to you for you to connect up with what I'm saying. This dark rigidity, This your difficulty loving yourself has been like a crime against God. It's like a crime against your God self. There's no crime really that we can do, But I'm really getting guided to really face you with this. Mm-hmm. The whole root of this is your struggle to love yourself. Yeah. I think I know what you mean with the words because it's easier for me to get it with my head than with my feelings. Right. Right. You know what, Personally, I have huge respect for you, Michi, And I have told you this. Yeah. For you just turning to being willing to face this because it's uncomfortable stuff, But it's healable. It's very healable. Okay. Yeah. So how do you feel right now? It's easier now. Yeah. Yeah. It's more peaceful and I can still feel the rage inside of me and the pressure, But it's more softened. Yeah. I could feel there was something that happened around with your toes and your feet that helped. Yeah. I can feel it. Yeah. You have a really deep trust of Prama Sutta, Of Prama Sutta's authenticity, And it really helps your journey. I'm very moved because I know how the trust is not always easy, And you're really allowing it. So it means that this work can go very deep with you and actually save you a lot of time. That's it. It's just understanding. If you can just understand that there's this habit of fighting, You should just get it that it's just your homework, This life. And you'll know as you just keep going. You'll know when you're doing it, And you'll start going, Oh, I'm doing it. And then the next step will be really watching yourself do it yet again, Because we do it yet again, And then we watch ourselves, And then we get it enough that we can change what we're doing in the moment. It just takes time, And I want you to be really, Really patient with yourself, And I want you to really know that you're bringing in a level of exquisite sensitivity that is priceless, Absolutely priceless. And that's why your journey is difficult, Because of this. It's priceless what you're bringing in. Absolutely, Absolutely. And it's also part of why you get so fighty, Because you know it's so priceless. Like as a little kid, You knew you were bringing this, And it's being treated like not well, You know? Right, Treated as if it's, Yeah, Not valuable. You see, This is the same with Pramasutra, Where I go to you guys, Hey, This is really valuable work. See the value. Come on, Chop, Chop. It is the same thing that I had to heal within me, The same thing. Right. Yeah, The pricelessness, Yeah. And the level of depth that you're willing to heal, I'm like, And you know that tension all around your eyes has gotten softer, Like you're really doing it, Sweetie. It just takes time. Thank you. Yeah. And you're kind of consoled. I can feel it. You're kind of consoled, But there's part of you that doesn't really believe me. It's okay. I can feel it. It's kind of like part of you hiding in the background, Like, Oh, Yeah, You know, People say to me, Oh, Nice words, Nice words. They're more than nice words. It's true. And it's just what you want to do. That's what I want to say to you, Michi. What do you want to do with this input for me? Like, Do you want to, You know, Kind of hide from it a little bit and then face it again in 30 years? Face the same thing like Pramasutra is saying to you in 30 years? Or do you want to really decide that you are of value and that you've got a great gift to bring? Yeah. Yeah. I want to believe it now. Yeah. Right. Well, I'll tell you, You know, When we're really, Really sensitive as little kids, Really the ordinary grind of life upsets us. So, There's a level that it could have been much worse for you than TVs, Right? Like, For levels of pain people feel. I mean, What happens to little kids on the scale? It's like the top, We're talking 5%, You know, It wasn't that bad on one level. Absolutely. But for you, It was soul crushing. So, It's like the princess and the pea fairy tale. Do you know that? Yeah. Okay. So, It's like what you're bringing in is so sensitive, Precise, And valuable that, You know, It gets hurt by the TV being on. Yeah. But the smallest things. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Okay, Good. But you have a huge soul intelligence. Right. That's what I, This is what, Yeah, Remind yourself because we can all get small-minded. Keep reminding yourself you have a huge soul intelligence that cannot be boxed. It cannot lose. That's part of what I wanted to say to you guys. I was thinking back to the satsang when I said, You know, A really God-centered child who'd been brought up, Like that God takes care of us, And that the more you bring in God, The more sensitive you are. And afterwards, I realized that some of you had really doubted that. But you look at Amma. Like the guy who tried to kill Amma died a few days later. It's like you cannot, We are, You cannot mess with true reality. When true reality is manifested, It has an immortal invincible power. Otherwise, This person wouldn't have died or his, Her brother, Who was trying to destroy her too, Ended up destroying himself. It's like that is how I'll tell you what, If you have a really, If you have a big seed of resentment and hate, And you focus it on an illuminated person, That stuff comes back pretty quickly and whacks you. Illuminated people, Truly, It is how it works. Like, This is how we evolve because the true reality is true. So, When we build on it, We get enhanced powers and help enhanced understanding. It's not just some woo-woo story. An enlightened person would not be hit by some crazy person. They just wouldn't. Because that enlightened person is coming from true reality, And there the whole set of rules for when you're living in true reality, As opposed to when you're living in ego. So, I really want you guys to get that because I could feel afterwards, I realized that you guys had discounted that. But it's really true. There's a story of a woman, And I may have told you, Who was going to be raped. She was in London. She was picked up, She grabbed, And they drove out to the moors. These three guys, They were set to rape and kill her. They had been doing this, And she suddenly went into a total 100% compassion for them. She felt no fear. She just was compassionate. Love, She tapped into God. What she did not do was she did not reflect back their own alienation, Their own fear, Their own darkness. She did not reflect that back. She was reflecting what she was experiencing, Which is utter compassion for them, For what they were doing to their souls. They could not hurt her. They picked her up, Put her back in the car, Drove her back to London, Dropped her out in front of a subway, Where she got out and she fainted with the delayed shock. It is how it works. It is why Premasuda has gotten here. It is why my body dealt with a terminal overdose. It did not kill me. My son healed. It is why there are people on the prayer list who have gotten over cancer. It is Amma coming through, But we're not kidding about what is coming through. When you live that way, Different things happen to you entirely. Michi, I want you to let your mind get bigger, Because this fight keeps your mind very small. You miss the obvious, Like that thing with the teachers. You love your kids, But you are missing the welfare of the children with your battle with the principal. Do you understand this? Do you accept that? Do you accept that the kids would have been better not having anxiety over the summer about who their teacher was going to be? Yeah. Is there anything, Any withhold that you've got, Or anything that you think I'm misunderstanding? No. It's hard for me to accept it. I'm honest, But I'm totally willing. Yeah, That's what you've really shown. You're really walking this willingness. I see it. Yeah, It's hard to swallow at first, But it's going to be the making of you, Michi. I'll tell you, It was really hard for Prama Sutta to swallow what she was doing, So I get it. For me to turn and see my ego, It's the hardest thing of all you guys. It's the hardest thing for any of us to do. It's the scariest thing because it's our whole reality, And when you face your ego, Your whole sense of reality, You lose it, And you have to find footing and truth, And it's scary, But you guys are the star students of the universe. Yeah, Chema, You've got ama. You can do anything. You can do anything. You guys, This is incredible work. This is just incredible work, And we'll have another one of these in two weeks. Yep, Yep, And you keep doing this level of work, You're going to see change in your lives, You guys. You will. You will. Yeah, So see you tomorrow, Too. There's a lot coming tomorrow that's going to help. It's going to help your understanding. It's going to open your minds, And you guys remember, You're my beloveds. Even if I'm pushing you away, You're my beloveds, Okay, So just remember that, Please. You are. You are, Okay.