When The Universe Wants Our Attention, This Happens

I was thinking a lot this week about these satsangs,

And you know,

As I've said before,

You know,

Really teachers don't teach,

They remind you of what you already are,

What you already know,

Because you are that.

So this is just reminding you.

But I also want to shine a light on what it feels like to live the journey,

To walk it.

And it's funny because I think the people that two of the three people I want to call on,

They haven't come this week,

Which is funny.

Isn't that the way?

Isn't that the way?

But one of these people are here,

And I'm going to call on her.

Because the journey is messy,

You guys.

Emotionally it's messy,

And it's like a seed sprouting.

Messy.

And we have to get used to some degree of messiness as we walk forward,

And still be able to walk forward with a light step.

If a human being goes in the normal flow,

And even they could even pray and meditate,

But if they're more focused on the outer reality,

Their movement will be in a horizontal way,

Which will be doing the practices,

But in an ordinary kind of grounded way.

As soon as you really wish to evolve,

As soon as you put your heart into it,

What happens is you start to go vertically.

You start to increase your vibration.

You start to ascend basically,

Ascend out of this reality.

And as soon as you start to go vertical,

Your human part,

Your body part gets challenged.

Because the body has to then navigate the change in vibration,

And emotionally you have to let go of the patterns and vasanas from other lifetimes.

So this creates a certain amount of turmoil.

So Amma would say,

Or she has said,

I've heard her talk about how the mind heats up,

And it feels very uncomfortable.

It's like I used to,

I wrote a story about the art of stewing.

You know,

It was like a humorous story about the spiritual journey and the art of stewing,

And my last name was Stuart because I was such a good stewer.

And it is,

I mean,

I felt it as kind of a bad thing,

But now,

Where I am now,

I see it's just what happens.

Our mind heats up and we stew.

So the focus on the divine becomes very important,

Because that is what opens the door to making a shift.

Because without opening the door and the focus on the divine,

It is totally possible just to stew and stay in your ego,

Which is actually what the normal experience is.

So if you are going more of a vertical route,

So you're wanting fewer lifetimes than the hundreds and hundreds that you will face if you just do the horizontal route,

If you just flow along through your life,

If just dealing with external circumstances without a focus on God too much,

You might have a hundred more lifetimes.

If you go vertical,

You might have no more lifetimes,

Or one,

Or two,

Or three,

But you'll have to learn how to navigate the stewing.

Let yourself stew,

Let yourself get uncomfortable without berating yourself too much.

Do you see?

You just let it happen,

And it's sort of like cramps,

Menstrual cramps.

You know,

A woman,

You get menstrual cramps,

You still go through your day,

Right?

You might want to go to bed,

But you know,

Women are good at this.

We just soldier on.

So you can do the same thing with evolution,

With the pangs of evolution.

Just keep going,

Just keep talking to the divine.

And the universe will never give you too much.

You'll always just get what you can handle.

And at the end of a shift,

At the end,

You should get some empirical evidence that you've made the shift.

Some change in how your family's operating,

How you feel,

And different events happening.

It's like I talk about when I would go to see Abraham,

And I would get searched at the border every time,

And then the day came where I wasn't searched I wasn't searched anymore.

That was my progress.

That was the empirical evidence.

So look for empirical evidence of your ascending,

Because that will give you courage.

And don't force,

Don't rush,

Please don't rush.

Don't,

Don't,

Don't,

Don't.

You'll just slow yourself down,

I promise you.

I'm really just wanting to give you this reassurance about the discomfiture of the process of ascending,

About the process of your vibration going up,

So that you'll,

So that you'll feel loved anyway.

So that you get like,

This is what it's like,

And you're not being a bad girl,

Because you're,

Or a bad boy,

Because you're uncomfortable.

It's just,

It's okay,

It's wonderful,

It's brave.

Yeah,

Yeah,

It's,

It's a badge of honor,

And,

And don't rush it,

Don't force yourself,

But just if these periods come when you're stewing,

Understand that the dross is burning off,

That you're,

You know,

It's the alchemical process of turning lead into gold.

I mean,

This is,

This is,

This is why alchemy is so attractive to our minds,

Because it's what we're actually doing.

And the sage has just discovered the gold within their heart,

And they burned off all the burned off all the lead,

And all the crap,

You know.

The other thing I want to say to you,

Please,

You guys,

Some people come in with very little emotional baggage,

And they can grow quite easily.

Other people come in with tons and tons,

And and whatever progress you make on it in a lifetime,

It will make your next life more auspicious.

You'll have better circumstances,

And maybe more loving parents.

Any,

Any work you do will not only pay off in future lives,

But maybe you'll finish this lifetime.

And the other thing,

You guys,

When you pass over,

And you,

You know,

Reach,

Supposing you're in heaven between lives,

If you have woken up on earth,

Then when you're in heaven,

You have then when you're in heaven,

You have immense freedom.

You keep that actually ability to evolve,

Even when you're on the other side.

Whereas if you have stayed asleep,

When you get,

You get to heaven,

You get the,

You know,

Some maneuvering room,

But you don't have your freedom of the city.

You don't have the key to the city,

Because you stayed asleep during your lifetime.

Do you understand?

So even in heaven,

Your,

Your freedom is,

Is more restricted than the person who was awake this,

In this life.

And the other thing is,

But if somebody stayed asleep,

And they passed over,

If,

If they're,

How do I say it,

If a relative of them wakes up,

You can work with that person in heaven,

And assist them,

And they'll get some degree of freedom through your input.

Yeah.

And,

And,

And they'll get some degree of freedom if they help you as well.

Yeah,

You know,

The,

You know,

The kind of the,

I don't,

I don't know how else to say it,

The rules and regulations of evolution,

They,

They're,

They're,

It's kind of a bad explanation,

I have bad words for it.

It's for subtle,

Far subtler than that,

But they,

They extend,

Do you know,

I mean,

Amma says they're lineups,

Even in heaven,

Like,

You know,

When people are complaining about lining up,

Or hugs from Amma.

She's saying they're lineups in heaven.

So,

Just understand that,

As you're going for freedom in,

Here on earth,

Then in your interval between lives,

You can keep progressing in a powerful way.

It's the same,

The same principle,

We,

You know,

We think the heaven,

The non-earth is higher than us,

But,

You know,

You know,

Yogananda's teacher was surrounded by angels who would bow down to him because he was doing this work on earth,

And the angels consider that harder than what they do.

Do you understand?

That it is more valuable if you awaken on earth,

That is the highest,

That is kind of higher than heaven.

It's hard for us to think this way because we've got,

Like,

A lot of that miserable sinner stuff going,

That we're carrying,

But it's not true.

It's for the same reason that a person who's awoken during lifetime has more freedom in the heaven interval.

Yeah.

So,

You see,

It makes sense to put up with a bit of stewing,

A little bit of,

You know,

A little bit of discomfiture to rise,

Because it will affect your period between your lives,

And,

You know,

Maybe you'll complete this lifetime.

But I'm wanting to talk to,

Again,

This how to evolve,

Because we,

Well,

You guys,

We're so valuable,

And we're so loved,

And our humanity is so valuable,

And the key to evolution is accepting your humanity.

So,

Anna,

I don't know,

You're one of the people,

And I wanted to,

If you would speak about what happened to you after you got up from last week's satsang,

And discuss about what happened and what you felt about it.

Okay,

Yeah.

Last week,

After the satsang,

I felt very,

Very wonderful,

Beautiful.

It was like,

Oh,

Now I got it.

Everything's going to be more easy now,

And,

Yeah.

The next day,

I felt terrible.

So much stuff coming up in the morning,

And during the day,

I completely forgot to donate.

Anna,

Right after the satsang.

Yeah.

Right.

Anna.

Yeah.

You told me you had a fall,

And you fell on your knees.

Oh,

Right.

Funny.

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

I was not here.

Just hold on a sec.

You see,

Even though I had talked to Anna about this and everything,

It's so easily overlooked.

Okay.

Yes.

We ignore this stuff,

And this is the stuff that's really,

Really important.

Okay.

So,

Anna.

Right.

Yeah.

So,

Last week,

I was in the seminar room still,

And after the satsang,

I went to the toilet.

I slipped into my shoes,

And I had pants on with wide legs,

And I stumbled,

And I fell to the floor like a stone,

Like whoosh.

It was like,

Wow.

I landed on the floor in a position of surrender.

I found myself on the floor,

On my knees and on my hands like this,

And I thought,

Oh,

Nothing has happened,

But this was a severe fall,

And then I thought,

Oh,

This is like surrendering.

It was like,

So it was very,

I was so glad nothing has happened,

Because normally,

I would have broke something or something.

I don't know.

It felt like a very heavy fall.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

But you didn't hurt yourself.

No,

I didn't hurt myself at all.

So,

This was like a miracle.

It was really like a miracle,

And I was so touched by this,

By feeling this and by observing this.

Yeah.

Okay.

And even at the time,

You kind of knew on a level that you were being brought into the physical position of surrender.

Yes.

It dawned on me when I lay there,

I thought,

Okay,

Okay,

Surrender.

This is what came to my mind.

Okay.

So,

You guys,

I'm wanting to show,

Like,

Like,

You see,

There's something of higher intelligence who's running the whole show that brought Anna to her knees.

Anna,

I had been knocking on the door of Anna's head for a while,

And not able to get through.

So,

Her,

The universe gave her a physical experience of being brought to her knees.

Do you see?

Her whole head was avoided.

It came in through the body and actually through the heart.

Do you see?

And she got it.

Yeah.

Right.

Okay.

You see,

You guys,

This is how the journey works.

Right.

And half the time,

You see,

We don't even,

First of all,

We seldom notice.

And the next thing is,

Like,

Like,

You'd forgotten,

Right?

Like,

Anna,

This is what happens.

This is the thing that we most ignore.

And it's one of the most important things.

Yeah.

Right.

So,

The universe brought you into surrender.

It's so beautiful.

And so,

This way,

You didn't have to have some terrible trauma happen to you.

Do you know,

You were just brought down and lifted up without damage.

Okay.

This is how safe the journey is,

You guys.

The physical.

Stephanie,

I remember your,

You telling me about you,

You fell,

And somebody helped you,

Right?

Can you just speak about that?

Thanks,

Anna,

For sharing.

Yeah,

I was on tour with Amma.

She was going to Fridabed,

And coming back,

I had a massive fall on my knees.

And I actually also embarrassingly shit myself,

Literally.

So,

I've never experienced that before.

Really gross.

But it was actually,

When I look back,

It was actually very beautiful.

Because everybody came around me,

I didn't know anybody to help me.

So,

I felt very alone.

But then it was very warm,

Actually,

The air,

And the ambulance fellow helped me.

There was luckily a bathroom that was available.

And I got cleaned up very easily,

With no effort.

It all was very magical.

And I had to go in an ambulance and have a bystander stay with me.

And I had been praying for an experience of compassion,

As well.

Ironically,

That was actually a very compassionate act to fall on my knees,

And to have that experience.

So,

I saw the compassion in it.

But as well,

The person who ended up coming with me in the ambulance,

Her name is Karuna,

Which means compassion.

And in the ambulance ride as well,

It was so Christ-like.

She doesn't really remember what happened when I talked to her after,

But she literally massaged my feet.

I heated up in the ambulance,

And I didn't feel very good,

Despite being on an IV.

She massaged my feet,

Which is the grossest thing to do after someone has fallen,

Especially in India.

She fed me an apple.

And these things I didn't even ask for.

She fed me an apple right to my mouth,

Because I was all dirty.

I'm still a bit dirty.

And I also had to go to the bathroom,

Or pee in the ambulance,

And they wouldn't pull over.

And she found a way for me to,

As I was moving on the bumpy road in the ambulance,

And I had this IV,

She helped me to be able to relieve myself in the ambulance,

Just using a small pail.

And it all worked out.

And it sounds a little gross physically,

But I think going through it,

I was amazed at how much love there was in that time when I just needed people.

And I see it as Amma's prasad,

And really a miracle,

And saving me again and again in multiple moments.

So that's why I'm so grateful to Amma,

So grateful to Prima Sudha,

Because when I was going through it,

In my mind,

I was just like,

I'm walking through this,

I'm walking through this,

The reassurance that Prima Sudha had given.

And knowing that it was all Amma's prasad,

And reminding myself that the prasad,

Or the blessing of going through this,

Was clearing me to make me more pure in some way.

I just,

I bow down to Amma,

I bow down to the Mother of the Universe,

To God,

To Creator,

However you feel God,

To love.

But the love is there.

So immense blessings to you all.

It's fantastic.

That's it.

And both of you had the self-awareness,

Which is like key,

Something like that happens,

Having the self-awareness just is totally empowering.

And you have a direct experience of how loving the universe is,

You know?

Yeah.

This is what you guys,

For your,

In working with people,

So often I feel like I'm working with people who are so locked into their idea of the spiritual journey.

And it's too,

Way too narrow.

The spiritual journey includes all of life.

And everything is a message to us.

Like,

I remember once feeling very,

Very frail and weak,

And I was in the car,

And I passed by a juggernaut,

Like a,

You know,

One of those double trucks.

It was huge.

And at the very end,

It had like a kind of name tag on the truck.

And the name tag was Hobbs.

It's like,

Don't worry,

Brahma Sudha.

You know,

The Hobbs,

It just shifted me.

And then,

Yeah.

And another thing,

I mean,

This is,

I was parking my Jeep.

I was feeling very,

Very depressed.

I parked my Jeep,

And I got out,

And this guy walking,

Just walking by said,

Boy,

You're a good driver.

And I'm like,

I have to say,

Believe me,

I have bashed so many cars,

So I don't think I'm a good driver.

But I took it as,

It was like the universe speaking to me about my spiritual journey.

Yeah.

Okay.

And Alex,

You're here after all,

Because I wanted to ask you,

You spoke of your dream last time.

And I just wondered if you had anything to say about what you've gone through as this integrated.

You know,

Remember,

We were talking,

Alex's dream was of a pot that she hadn't potted properly,

And she got in trouble with me.

But then everybody in the satsang came in behind her.

And at the time,

Just last week,

I reminded her that the messy pot with the root hanging underneath the pot is actually,

When it's planted,

It's part of what gives the strength for the pot to burst.

Yeah.

And actually,

This work is,

It's,

We're far too potted.

I'm actually not teaching how to pot a plant.

I'm actually teaching how to grow wild.

That's what I'm teaching.

But anyway,

So Alex,

I don't know if you,

If you've got any words about this,

Or there's anything that you want to say about what,

Like,

It was like,

As you integrated all that?

Yeah.

It feels hard to put into words right now.

Because I feel like there's a lot I could elaborate on,

Over from the last week,

Or two weeks.

But,

Well,

I found myself in this,

Well,

I found myself in this,

This sort of dilemma at home with my family,

Where we got this puppy.

And I don't know,

It's kind of a long story.

So I don't,

I'll try to just describe parts of it.

But I was just really,

I didn't know what to do.

Like,

It was,

It wasn't working out.

And I couldn't figure out what the right decision was,

And how to handle it.

And it just felt like suddenly,

It was all wrong.

Like,

There was no easy way out.

Easy way out.

Either,

Like,

Someone was going to be disappointed.

And,

And I felt like I was just so,

The emotions of it felt way more intense than,

Than usual for me.

I was sort of surprised.

I was thinking like,

Wow,

This feels way bigger than something like this normally would.

But I was glad it was like,

I could tell something had opened up in me,

Like I was feeling.

It struck me that actually,

This is what feeling life probably should feel like.

And I haven't really been feeling it.

I've been kind of numb.

And so now I'm actually feeling a bigger range of,

Of emotional material as things happen in my day to day life.

And,

And I kept coming back to the image of the pot and the dream and your words,

Primasutha,

Of like,

There is no bad or good.

Because I kept getting hung up on like,

What's the right decision here?

What's the right path?

What's,

And anyway,

It really intensified.

There were a couple days where I just felt almost sick with the sadness of it all and the distraughtness and it was affecting everybody.

Like my kids,

My husband and I,

We were all out of whack.

Like everyone was just cranky and kind of at each other's throats.

And,

And I just like threw up my hands,

Like,

I can't,

I can't,

I can't figure it out.

And I wanted so badly to find a solution.

And I just couldn't.

And I just accepted that I couldn't.

And okay,

This is just,

I kind of just fell into trusting that somehow this was taking me somewhere I needed to go.

And,

And then yeah,

Miraculously,

A day or two later,

Like it just sort of shifted and I was able to find the words to speak to my husband in a more clearer way and with our kids and we came to,

Like,

Things just started getting resolved.

And,

Yeah,

I don't know if this really speaks a lot to what you asked about the pot and the plant.

It does.

It speaks directly.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Yeah.

So,

Okay,

Can I just elaborate a little bit just for clarity?

Yeah.

So,

Alex had a very timid little puppy.

She's got three toddlers.

And the timid puppy,

The agreement was the husband was going to help with the puppy and everything,

But the puppy was so timid that he couldn't help.

And so when Alex said,

Well,

This is just too much for me,

Then,

You know,

It was like,

He was,

He was going like,

What?

And the kids,

She knew the kids would have broken hearts and everything.

So yeah,

The puppy,

The puppy is afraid of men.

And,

And well,

Most strangers,

But men in particular,

And so she won't go near my husband.

And what was supposed to be his puppy is now my puppy.

And the workload was just,

It's just been getting overwhelming.

But I kept coming back to well,

I should be able to,

Like,

Just figure out how to handle this and just,

Just bear this and do it.

So for my kids sake who love the puppy,

And for the puppy's sake,

Like I didn't want to,

It felt wrong to,

Like,

Want to give her back.

But I got to a place where I realized no,

It's okay.

Like,

It's actually just not a good fit.

It's not good for the dog.

Like she needs a different,

She needs to go back to her original family.

And once I came to that,

Everyone just died.

Like a relief.

Right.

Okay.

So this is,

You know,

This is really key.

So what Alex did was,

You know,

This above all to thine own self be true,

Christ said.

And you start with that.

And see what it looked like.

It looked like it was almost sinful,

Right,

Alex,

It looked like this is crushing your kids.

And,

You know,

Upsetting your husband,

And you're not performing well,

Right?

You're failing,

Right?

This will come up over and over again,

You guys.

And you hold to this above all to thine own self be true.

And you see,

Alex did the surrender,

She went,

This is insolvable.

There's nothing I can do.

And she wasn't even you probably didn't even think of it.

Oh,

I'm so you didn't go.

Oh,

I'm surrendering like a good girl,

Right?

You didn't do that.

You were just like,

Well,

This situation is hopeless.

Yeah.

And then that altered everything.

Yeah,

So Alex,

Brilliantly done.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Beautifully.

And you see the dream when you have a big dream,

After a big dream,

There will often be like,

Ups and downs,

Just like this.

Don't worry about it.

It's what the journey is like.

This is what it's like to move into truth.

This is why Amma says you have to be fearless.

Because when you're in one of those spots that you were in where it looks like the whole everything's caving down on you,

You Yeah,

They're very uncomfortable,

But it's just,

It will pass in a day.

If you let it.

Yeah,

You see,

And some people get stuck there their whole lives.

Okay.

This is really heavily focused on transformational know how.

And you it's,

You know,

I don't know if you've heard in my book,

The spiritual psychology book,

I talk about the heart muscle,

And Amma has spoken about the heart muscle.

And it's you,

This kind of challenge and and staying true to yourself,

With the highest good intentions for you and everybody else.

That builds the heart muscle,

And you get able to do bigger and bigger challenges.

And you become more and more fearless.

And,

You know,

Just when you're feeling like all the crap is up,

And you're feeling so bad about yourself,

You know,

It's Amma says,

When,

When you're a zero,

You're a hero.

It's like letting yourself get to that state is actually how the ego dies.

What you're feeling is the,

The ego death,

And it feels like you're dying,

Or that you're doing it wrong,

But it's not.

Yeah.

It's actually,

You're ascending,

You're bumping.

I'll mark this satsang with a particular title so that if you're,

You know,

If you need to be reminded about if you're in the rigors of evolution,

And need to be reminded,

You can,

You can have this satsang to listen to again.

Yeah,

It'll happen over and over again.

And the,

You know,

The,

You know,

The reason the people with the biggest who start off with the biggest egos become the best teachers,

Because if they have had the courage to face these kind of challenges,

At a really monstrous level,

The compassion and understanding that come in as a byproduct are,

It's just huge.

And they know all the potholes that you could possibly fall into,

Because they fell into them.

You know,

My dream has been,

You know,

Just it,

Like a satsang like this,

Where,

You know,

We,

We could all come in behind each other and support the true spiritual journey,

So that you've got to spiritual journey,

So that you've got a safe place,

You can come to,

And you can bring your struggles and,

And,

And,

And receive support.

And you have to be brave,

Because if there's ego contamination,

You know,

I will address that.

You know,

I'll speak to it,

And it's uncomfortable.

But the support,

It's immense.

Yeah.

Okay,

This is very good.

Yeah.

Wow,

I can feel a big,

Big love power building.

Love power building.

You know,

Even though these,

You know,

It's an emotional experience,

And it feels very individual idiosyncratic,

When we're going through our stuff.

It's the structure is the same.

The structure of the spiritual journey is the same for everybody.

And that's why teachers can help you because the teacher totally understands the structure.

Yeah.

And you don't remember that your psyche will only bring you these challenges at a pace you can handle.

You won't get too many.

In fact,

What you'll find is that you can handle anything.

Okay.

I mean,

That's what I found.

It's like,

Well,

There just wasn't any ceiling on what I found that I could handle.

It's like that was liberating.

Yeah.

Because it's not us that handles it.

It's our soul that actually handles it,

Actually handles it,

And makes us fall down on our knees or makes us,

You know,

Fall and hurt ourselves and poor pants,

You know,

To do that.

But it's,

It's in charge.

I mean,

You know,

You know,

Alma says,

You know,

We're,

We're,

You know,

We're,

We don't choose when we're born,

We're when when we die.

So why do we think that we have any kind of control during our lives?

It's just the ego being diluted.

Yeah.

That's it.

I'm feeling it's as if everybody's getting a bigger access to peace that there that all of you are getting.

It's,

It's kind of like a shift into more trust,

Shift into more faith.

And the peace that comes to it.

So some of you comes as a result of that some of you are going to be consciously aware of this and some of you,

You're going to notice it after the satsang in the period after the satsang.

Even in the weeks after,

But you're all doing it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

One of the biggest obstructions that I find with people,

The thing they do,

And they do it out of lack of trust of themselves and of life is they try to box the journey and you can't box the journey and you can't box your experience.

Any box is a distortion.

The closest thing to your experience is actually like a plant,

A rose being planted and growing,

Sprouting and growing and blossoming into a beautiful rose.

That's kind of,

That's the closest.

If any kind of structure,

It's like that.

Or a tree,

A great oak,

Acorn sprouting,

Becoming a great oak.

Okay.

The other thing I wanted to say is when I went away last week,

I stayed at a place that was next door to butterfly world.

And so it was a world of butterflies.

So I sat and watched these butterflies emerging from the chrysalis.

It was like just stunning.

And one of the things I learned was just when the butterfly comes out of the chrysalis,

When it expels some meconium,

Which is the waste product of its earlier stage,

But doesn't expel at all.

This meconium will flow to the wings and the butterfly has to start sort of expanding its wings.

It helps the wings expand and the butterfly has to start using the wings within a short period after being born or else they're deformed and they never work.

So I'm wanting you guys to realize how mother nature is such a metaphor for our development as well.

The waste product.

So when we're outgrowing the ego,

It is the waste product that we're seeing of ourselves.

We're seeing,

We feel like I can't stand living this anymore.

I feel imprisoned.

I can't stand this,

Being stuck in this fear or this rage or whatever we're sick of.

And that gives us the fuel to demand from the universe something better.

It gives us energy to work on our,

To do something different next time,

Or to pray harder,

To put more energy into our journey,

To emerge out of this ego crap that we don't want anymore.

You see,

It's the same principle of the crap giving us the energy to emerge out of it.

It's like our meconium that gives us the energy to our wings so that we can transform.

But we do this emotionally.

I'm getting,

It's a bit of a blank,

But it's a bit of a leap,

But again,

It's like everything is a metaphor.

So this are,

This ego is evolving and how separate we feel,

How bad we feel about ourselves,

How stuck in our patterns we feel.

That is our meconium that we're using to give us enough energy to emerge beyond it.

It's like our revulsion to these,

Being so stuck in fear and repeating our,

The problems of our lives a million times.

It gives us,

It's our fuel to give us the extra oomph to call on the universe with,

I'm like,

I want my freedom,

Give me my.

And that's what works,

You guys.

That is what works.

When we have an emotional propelling propelling behind us,

Behind our prayer,

When we really pray or want to grow with like real fervor,

We blast off.

It's just like,

You know,

Prayers,

Prayers spoken with emotion work.

Whereas if we just go,

Our father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name,

Thy kingdom come.

That doesn't do anything.

They're very little.

Right.

So do you see when,

Who is it?

Alex,

You spoke about beautifully.

Thank you for all you said.

And for you pointing out that you,

You were,

You realized how numb you've been,

You know,

And that you're feeling more of this emotion more and,

And that it was probably more like a normal human being would be,

But we're all numb.

We're all numb.

And this waking up into recovering our feelings and the fullness of our emotions comes through going through discomfiture.

Like we've talked about today.

You don't get it otherwise.

If you're not willing to be uncomfortable,

You won't get it.

Yeah.

We're recovering these lost parts of ourselves and everybody to walk around being numb,

But I'll tell you it's doubly painful for women because the realm of emotion is our,

Our realm.

So if we've turned down our emotion,

It's,

It's causing us a lot of pain.

So that's the great relief when you,

When you get all your,

You,

You warm up enough to be able to feel your emotions and feel your feelings.

And that's what I say,

You get a full deck of cards.

You're not playing with like a quarter of the deck.

You've got the full deck.

You can really engage with life in a very beautiful way.

Yeah.

Well,

I'm kind of like,

You guys are getting like what my sons used to call a full frontal mama or their term was actually a full frontal fatty,

But that's a whole other story.

But,

But I'm,

I'm doing it because it's a,

It's a really important thing.

Yeah.

You cannot make any progress without letting yourself letting yourself wake up emotionally.

And most of us go up into our heads and we kind of figure out,

We try to do the spiritual journey in a narrow way,

Like trying to pot a plant that needs to be grown in the wild.

It needs to be returned to the earth and the wild.

We're trying to pot it in a plant,

Pot it.

Yeah.

Put it in a plant,

Plant her in.

So anyway,

You certainly have permission from me to be fully yourself.

And the satsangs are a safe place.

You can make a fool of yourself here.

If you need to,

Of course,

None of us would see it like that,

But you might feel scared too,

You know,

But that's what would happen.

Anyway,

This is a big invitation to come into yourselves more.

Yeah.

So are there any questions or comments about this?

Just briefly.

Hello,

Pramasutha.

Satiba speaking.

Yes,

Satiba.

Yeah.

I was reminded when you talked about the sign where your name hops was written at the end of the track.

I had a thing happen maybe two weeks ago at a moment when I felt quite disheartened with a subject,

Which seemed to to stick and stay with me.

And then all of a sudden,

While walking,

Going on a walk,

I looked at a signpost where it was written,

You are almost there.

It said,

You are almost there.

That's beautiful.

That was so sweet.

That's so beautiful.

I mean,

In German,

It said you are almost there.

Oh,

That's so beautiful.

Wow.

Thank you,

Satiba.

Thank you.

My heart feels so warm.

Oh,

Thank you.

Immediately,

I thought of you in the metaphor.

And the metaphor is good.

And what a wonderful person,

The person who put that sign there.

Yes,

Isn't it?

I don't know the context,

But I wasn't interested in the context.

I was so happy to read this.

Yeah.

And that's an encouragement.

You see,

You come out of your head and you just have more direct experience with life like this.

You let life evolve you just like this.

That's it.

Beautiful.

Thanks,

Satiba.

Zoom,

Zoom.

Oh,

Thank you.

Zoom,

Zoom.

Yes.

Who are you?

What's your name?

Hi,

Everybody.

Yeah,

You.

My name is Sri Lakshmi.

Sorry?

Sri Lakshmi.

Oh,

Sri Lakshmi.

Okay,

Good.

Thank you for coming.

Yes.

Hi,

Everybody.

Thanks for the shares,

Especially to Alex and to Stephanie.

And I wanted to mention just to Alex.

I can't hear you.

Yeah.

Can you hear me?

Better.

Yes?

Yeah.

Better?

Let me turn this off.

Is that better?

Yeah.

Good.

Okay.

So,

First of all,

To Alex,

Shy puppies can become and shy puppies that are afraid of men can become dangerous if they grow up with that fear.

So,

It's better to place place them in a new home.

Okay.

I'm sorry for the heartache about that.

I really did feel it.

And I really think that it was the most responsible thing to do for everyone,

Including mostly taking care of yourself.

And I know it was painful.

But I think it was the right thing to do.

And Stephanie,

I had a little something like that.

But I was afraid of losing control and falling down and pissing myself at a retreat.

I just wasn't gonna let it happen.

I would rather fall.

I was so terrified of it.

And that I just want to say one set,

Debbie Bava,

There was a lady that had an emotional experience.

And she was in Bhakti.

And she was kind of rolling around in the ground.

And I was trying to get him to move the rollaway TV away from her.

And I was sitting next to a trauma nurse,

And a psychotherapist.

And we didn't stand up to go to her.

And we thought about it,

Like,

Which one of us is the one that's gonna go to her.

And the psychotherapist turned to me and said,

That was for you.

And I didn't know what it meant.

But I'm kind of repressed.

And I wanted to be in Bhakti.

And I wanted to be so happy that I let that shine through me.

And I couldn't do it.

They helped her.

She came up to Amma.

And she was kind of wild.

And they assisted her and gave her water.

And Amma was like,

Sweetheart,

My beautiful daughter.

And it was just so loving to her.

It was just so beautiful.

And I think that when we have injuries like that in front of Amma,

That we're going to be less injured than if it happens when we're not around her.

And that's all I have to say.

Thank you very much,

Judith.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi,

Parmasita.

Megan.

Yay.

Hi.

I just wanted to share an experience too.

I'm taking a lead from everyone.

So thank you,

Because I really don't like speaking up.

But the other weekend,

I came back from a trip with somebody new in my life.

And it was a nice trip.

But there was a lot of difficult things that came up.

And I came back.

And I was really upset.

And I was kind of in this state of mind,

Like Alex,

Like you had mentioned,

With what's the right decision?

What do I do here?

Good,

Bad,

Yes,

No,

Move forward,

Stop.

And I was in bed.

And I was really upset.

And I found myself just,

I had never met Amma.

But I just feel like I,

You know,

Through this group and through Parmasita,

That that was a safe thing to do to call on her.

So I kind of just gave up with trying to find the answer.

And I was stewing,

And I was circling and looping,

And it was in my head.

And I actually called out for her,

For creator Parmasita.

And I was kind of drifting off into sleep as this was happening.

I'm quite upset.

And then all of a sudden,

You know,

When you're kind of drifting to sleep,

And you jerk yourself awake?

Yeah,

I did that.

But it was a giggle.

It was this like,

Really out of place childlike,

Like,

I'm shaking talking about it right now.

But I giggled.

I giggled.

And then I fell asleep.

And I remembered it the next day.

And I was like that.

Yeah,

It felt so innocent and pure and childlike.

And just like,

I gave it over.

And it wasn't so bad.

Like,

I was so upset.

I was beating myself up.

Like,

It was like this life or death situation.

And then the answer was a giggle.

So I mean,

It just took the pressure of having to decide off.

And it did.

It shifted.

Things have shifted.

And yeah,

I thought of you all and thank you.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah,

Really?

Like,

You know,

Sad things are accelerating,

Turning up.

It just,

You know,

Making,

You know,

Amma in Bajans,

Right at the very end,

Just,

You know,

As the energy builds with the Bajans,

And it kind of peaks.

And then Amma will always do this giggle.

She always does this giggle.

And it always,

For me,

It's,

It's always like,

I feel like it's,

Yeah,

This whole thing is hilarious.

Like,

Laughing at the whole earth plane.

Like,

We're,

We're just beings.

We're,

This is our idea of fun.

There's no.

Yes.

So it's like you accessed you,

You bumped up,

You know,

To that higher perspective,

Like that your soul knows that this is really a giggle.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It was pretty cool.

Yeah.

And it felt very safe.

So yeah,

I wanted to share that.

I'm so glad you did.

And you know,

When you were saying that you were shaking,

As you were saying it,

You're actually,

No,

But you were actually,

By coming forward and speaking about this,

You actually then released fear,

You know,

You integrated,

And let go of the fear physically.

It's an integration,

It's a continuous integration of that experience.

So it's fantastic.

Yeah.

Right.

And that's how quickly and seamlessly evolution can take place.

Do you see you guys,

But we haven't had the eyes to see it.

Or the breadth of mind to see it.

You know,

Lots of us,

Really,

Lots of us,

Lots of people in the AMA group,

Really,

It's really like I experienced it like really kind of narrow and with miserable sinner and almost the Pope,

And that we could never really be like that.

But we want to try.

Really?

It's like broad knit,

You are AMA.

You're AMA in another form.

You are the creator.

You are dreaming the whole universe.

You know,

Any Eastern sage would say,

You're,

This dream,

Everything you experience is,

Is your dream,

Your particular dream.

And you are the most important person in the dream.

And as you go conscious,

It's like the whole universe wakes up out of its numbness,

Basically.

You see?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So include that as well as,

You know,

AMA is,

You know,

She's a Christ.

So she's like 1000 of us,

But in our universe,

We brought,

We're dreaming AMA to be here to help us wake up to see our soul dreamed AMA into existence in.

And in AMA's dream,

She's the Christ.

So,

You know,

She'd say,

She says that she just sees us like,

Like her,

Like that she's,

We're her.

And for us,

Most of us feel a gulf between AMA and us.

But as you,

As this gets healed,

As you heal this,

As you,

As your ego dies,

You'll realize that you are AMA too.

And that you're everything that you can see.

You're every person,

Every flower.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

It's only the ego that says that you are this body and nothing else.

And all of our upsets are caused by this belief that we are our bodies and we are just this child of these parents who grew up in certain house.

And it's a delusion.

We're all hypnotized.

It's like,

We're all wearing blindfolds because the truth is we're everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's some of you that need some grace coming.

I'm seeing you.

I recognize you.

I know who you are.

Well,

You all need grace.

We all need grace,

But there's some of you that are feeling kind of really needy.

So I'm just,

Yeah.

Huge amounts of love and grace coming to you.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

Your beauty is infinite,

You guys.

It's a great,

Great beauty.

Priceless beauty.

The words are so weedy compared to,

That's it.

That's it.

You're beautiful.

And you guys who are feeling kind of fragile in your hearts right now,

Particularly,

I really know who you are and I'm sending you lots and lots of love.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah.

Many blessings.

I'm just going to beam you blessings for a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then Amma will,

Or Anna will,

Amma,

I call Anna,

Amma.

Anna will close the Zoom in a few moments,

But first this,

This,

Yeah,

This huge love's coming to you.

And I'm feeling like it's going to remind you of your inner resources,

And it's going to remind you also,

Even on getting to access outer resources,

It's interesting,

It's to remind you that you're,

You're not stuck.

You're a flowing river.

You're just a flow of energy.

Yeah.

And your life will take you where you need to go.

And all you need to do is concentrate on Amma,

The creator,

And love and value yourselves increasingly.

Yeah.

And giggle.

Giggle.

And fall if we need to fall,

Or be upset or whatever needs to happen.

But you're all,

You're all doing it in,

In exactly the way it has to be done.

Okay.

Okay.

Many blessings.

Okay.

Many blessings.

Yeah.