Hello Beloveds So today I want to talk about something that has been very difficult for me to integrate since my awakening and that is that I chose this life and the reason it has been so difficult to integrate is my inner child my inner child does not want to believe that she chose to experience all of the trauma that I experienced in this life as Sally Little Sally does not want to believe that Little Sally wishes that she had been loved and nurtured and treated like the beautiful soul that we all are and so this is a very tender thing for me to talk about because I,
Adult Sally,
Know that I chose this life and at a soul level know that I chose this life and I'm completely at peace from my higher self,
From my soul,
From the wise part of me that knows everything but Little Sally,
Little Sally also went through my awakening our inner child are a part of us and so it wasn't just Big Sally and my soul remembering during my awakening Little Sally was also going through that experience too and it has taken time for her to accept that we chose this on a soul level and this is not spiritual bypassing,
I have gone to the depths of my grief and my pain and my anger as Sally done much,
Much shadow work on my childhood and I chose this life,
I chose this life I was shown during my awakening that I chose this life I was taken back throughout my life and the choices that I made before I incarnated here as Sally and if you've ever read or listened to any interviews of people who have had near-death experiences you will hear this same truth repeated throughout all of these experiences that they share we choose our life on a soul level,
We experience,
Live many,
Many,
Many,
Many,
Many,
Many,
Many,
Many lives some of us not just here on earth but different planets,
Different dimensions,
Different beings and we choose it,
We choose it and it does not take away or negate the experience of it when we incarnate here we forget,
When we begin dreaming the dream of the current version of us that we are we forget,
It's part and parcel of the experience and so what we experience is real,
The pain we go through is real the trauma we've experienced is real,
This is not spiritual bypassing,
This is holding both truths tenderly,
One in each hand this is my lived experience and some of it has been very,
Very difficult and this is true,
This is real my inner child,
My child,
Me,
I as a child and a teenager experienced what she experienced and the fact that I chose it doesn't negate any of that and in the other hand I chose it I as a soul,
Not as the human Sally but as a soul,
As a spark of the I am,
The source,
Everything chose to experience everything that I've experienced,
Not just in this life as Sally but in all of the lives and I can hold both,
One truth does not negate that the other is true but I know the truth,
I know the truth that I chose it and again not from some belief,
I don't believe that I chose it because of some religion or spirituality or philosophy or concept that I believe in I know,
I know from my lived experience of my kundalini awakening,
I know that I chose this life and everything in it and again speaking about my awakening as I'm only just beginning to speak about it in any kind of public way like this now I've shared my awakening with close soul connections but part of my awakening and part of why I chose to have it in this life is to share it and not in a any kind of teacher kind of like school of any kind of belief or thoughts or concept or like religions or nothing like that in fact I've purposely not shared at times because I don't,
I don't want to be that for anybody but I'm being guided to share so that it touches the souls that it's supposed to touch and maybe this integration of these two truths will take a lifetime little sally and teenage sally that is their truth that is their lived experience in this life and also the truth of of my soul of my higher self of the absolute truth of I chose it in every life and honoring both of these truths both are true and both can be honored and what I found as well is and maybe this rings true for some of you but the grief of knowing that I chose it awakening isn't all bliss and love in the way that it's portrayed at times it is not that yes there are moments of that there are moments of that but it's also grief it's also pain acceptance forgiveness of yourself at a soul level it's not for me it's not even been about forgiving the other souls in my life I'd already spent years and years working through that processing that and forgiving those around me for their own trauma that was then passed on to me etc etc their own pain this has been a forgiveness of self a soul level forgiveness of choosing of choosing to come here into this this dimension onto this planet choosing to forget who we are and choosing the life experiences that I chose to have the forgiveness at a soul level and the understanding and the acceptance of why I did that so maybe maybe this resonates maybe it doesn't I know it will reach whoever it needs to reach sending you much love in reverence always take care dear souls
