Five years ago,
I was scrolling through Facebook,
As we do,
And this ad popped out at me.
It read,
Join Roar with Laughter,
An eight week program where you take your trauma and you reframe it through the lens of comedy.
At the end of the program,
Each participant will deliver a stand-up comedy routine.
Whoa!
My very first thought was sticking needles in my eyeballs.
Sounds like a much better idea than signing up for this.
And my second thought was,
Say it.
I am definitely signing up for this.
Because it was going to be my one fear for that year.
You see,
A few years before that,
I went through a divorce.
I realized that fear was controlling my life.
It was keeping me small and stuck.
And that I needed to do something to break free.
So I made a vow that I was going to do one thing every year that pulled me straight out of my comfort zone.
And it became my one fear per year journey.
And this year,
2021.
Stand-up comedy.
So I signed up for the program.
I log in the very first meeting.
There are seven other participants along with our lovely leader,
Pasha.
And Pasha says,
Okay,
Everybody,
You are going to choose something from your past.
That causes you a moderate amount of emotional pain.
And then in the next couple of weeks,
You are going to look at it a different way.
Reframe it.
And I thought,
Perfect.
This list of all of my grievances against my ex-husband just popped into my mind,
Right?
It didn't feel right.
In the next few days,
I thought,
You know what,
I'm really tired.
Of blaming other people.
I can't change them,
But I can change myself.
So what about if I focus?
On my own slots.
And my own weaknesses.
But do it from a place not of shame.
But of acceptance.
And compassion.
And as soon as I made that.
.
.
Decision.
I sat down and it just flowed out of me.
Even.
This one part came in the form of a song.
I'm a jealous girl in a perfect world.
Their validation feels like my salvation.
I can be obsessed.
That I am not the best I feel fantastic when I go all spastic insecure,
Loss of self in this material world.
I am lost.
I am scared.
I am jealous.
Want the likes,
Want the love,
The attention I crave.
Give me more,
Give me more validation.
That was it.
It was just pouring out of my soul.
And I realized that I was healing from the inside out.
Well,
Eight weeks tends to go by in the blink of an eye.
And I logged in for the very last.
Session and this was the show so there were a bunch of other people a lot of audience there watching us and i watched as seven other Beautiful participants.
Took their power They've reframed their trauma.
They've looked at it in a different way.
I was so proud of each of those women.
And then it was my turn.
And I performed my stand-up comedy routine with gusto and jazz hands.
And I ended with.
All I need at this time is to love on myself.
Do the work,
Meditate,
And go jogging.
I can feel all the change happening in myself.
It's a thrill,
So much fun.
I am Changing.
Applause.
Teeth.
And might.
