We spend a surprising amount of our lives believing that happiness lies somewhere just ahead of us.
I'll be happier when type of thinking.
When I have more money.
When I find the right relationship.
When work becomes easier.
When I lose the weight.
When life finally settles down.
And yet,
When one goal is reached,
Another always appears.
The mind can be remarkably good at moving the finish line.
Positive psychology offers us other ways of thinking about happiness.
While our circumstances certainly matter,
Sometimes enormously,
Our well-being is also influenced by the ways we engage with the life that we're already living.
Where we place our attention,
The relationships that we choose to nurture.
The meaning we make and create out of life.
The little things that we appreciate.
And whether we actually allow ourselves to notice positive experiences when they're happening.
Because something interesting happens when life is good.
We adapt.
The beautiful view now becomes the view that we just see every day.
The person we once couldn't wait to spend time with becomes the person sitting across from us at breakfast as we stare at our phones.
The home we once dreamed about becomes home.
Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation.
And one way we can interrupt it is through savoring.
Deliberately noticing and extending our awareness of a positive experience.
And let's practice some savoring together now.
I want you to settle into a comfortable position.
And closing your eyes or softening and lowering your gaze if that feels more comfortable for you.
And taking a deep breath in through the nose.
And then a slow,
Longer exhale out.
Let's do that one more time.
Deep breath in through the nose.
And a centering and grounding exhale through the mouth.
I invite you to bring to mind one small thing that's good in your life right now.
Not something extraordinary or grand.
Something ordinary.
Something mundane.
Maybe it's the warmth of your morning coffee,
A conversation with someone you love.
Maybe it's your dog greeting you at the door when you come home from work.
Or sunlight coming in through a window.
Bring that experience into your awareness.
And instead of immediately moving on,
Stay with it.
Remembering what you saw,
What you experienced,
What you heard.
And what it felt like in your body.
And notice now what happens when you relive this and give a pleasant experience your full attention.
This is what's known as savoring.
We're not pretending that difficult things don't exist.
Happiness doesn't require us to deny sadness,
Uncertainty,
Frustration,
Or loss.
A full and flourishing life contains all of those.
We're simply becoming more skilled at noticing the good alongside everything else.
Take another slow,
Deep breath through the nose.
Another long exhale.
And ask yourself,
What is already here that I don't wish to take for granted?
Happiness isn't something we finally arrive at.
It's something we become better at recognizing when the opportunities present themselves.
The ordinary experiences that are very easy to overlook when we're waiting for something bigger and better to happen.
A delicious meal,
A laugh with a friend,
A moment of peace,
An inner sense of purpose.
I invite you as you go through your day to see if you can catch one of these moments.
And when you do,
Pause.
Let it soak into your bones.
Notice it.
Feel it.
Stay with it.
Because often creating more sustainable type of happiness isn't about adding something new to our lives.
It's about becoming more present for the good that is already here.
