Finding a guru or a group.
For some people,
Their meditation practice is greatly enhanced in the presence of others.
Getting together with a group of like-minded people to practice can be quite rewarding.
A good meditation group will be motivating and help keep you accountable.
It is one thing to skip a session when you're alone,
But quite another when you've agreed to meet up with a group.
This is a form of positive social pressure and is a great tool to harness the positive effects of peer pressure.
What is more,
When you are meditating with others,
You'll have a wealth of experiences and resources to draw upon should any questions or concerns arise.
Some people also benefit from the tutelage of a guru or a meditation instructor.
These are people who have practiced mindfulness meditation for years and are recognised as experts.
Either through a formal and organised based acceptance to the level of instructor,
Or due to their apparent level of attainment and ability to impart that level of attainment onto their students.
As with all teacher-student relationships,
It's important to understand who and what you are signing up for.
Most meditation instructors are legitimate and capable instructors who will gently guide you on your meditation journey.
A good instructor will assess your level and provide teaching,
Guidance and resources appropriate to it.
They may suggest new or novel techniques,
As well as retreats and other interventions that may boost your practice.
Unfortunately there are some instructors and gurus that abuse the trust of their students and use their positions for personal gain.
Given the deeply personal nature of meditation,
Some vulnerable students have fallen victim to con artists and abusers under the guise of a meditation master.
This can be as simple as financial exploitation,
Or as extreme as an induction into a spiritual sex cult.
Either way,
This is something we want to avoid at all costs.
Before you take on any instructor,
Do a search online,
Relating to the instructor,
Their followers,
The organisation and the meditation practices they are offering.
Include words like controversy,
Abuse and reviews in your search and be sure to read the websites that were not created by the instructor.
Where possible,
Speak to a collection of the current students and do a couple of trial sessions before signing up.
If you get a bad feeling or if something seems off,
Trust that feeling and move on.
Make sure to try a few different instructors before settling on one because that way you will have a baseline for comparison.
I am speaking here from personal experience.
Years ago,
I was a casual attendant at a local ashram,
A meditation and spiritual community headed by a guru of sorts.
I found the environment and teachings to be beneficial,
So for a while there I was attending a session once or twice a month.
This all stopped when it was revealed that the guru was manipulating his core students to give up excessive amounts of their personal wealth to his organisation,
As well as sexually coercing some of his young and attractive female devotees,
Or simultaneously encouraging their partners to practice abstinence.
The media storm that followed tore the community to shreds,
Leaving many practitioners confused about both themselves and their practice.
Years later,
Many are still financially,
Socially and emotionally crippled.
Thankfully for me,
I was never that involved in the community.
I was able to leave unscathed,
Merely being disgusted by the guru's actions and saddened that the community was no longer viable.
Since then,
I've been far more attuned to the warning signs of a potentially bad instructor.
Some warning signs include,
Demands of exclusivity.
You should not be banned or discouraged from reading about,
Experimenting with or practicing with other people or types of meditation.
No questioning.
You should feel comfortable questioning a practice and be free to ask why you are doing things in a certain way.
No alterations.
You should feel comfortable expressing distress,
Confusion or other negative emotions at an instruction or practice,
And where appropriate,
Every effort should be made to accommodate your needs.
Abuse.
In no way should you be physically or emotionally abused or coerced.
This includes yelling,
Hitting or anything of a sexual nature.
Excess costs or tithing.
All services and premises cost money and your instructor needs to make an income,
But make sure that the financial demands are not excessive.
You should be expected to pay for the time given,
Resources used and the space,
But no more.
You should not be asked and it shouldn't be implied that you should give away your possessions or tie the percentage of your income to the instructor or organisation.
I do not want this to scare you away from meditation groups and instructors,
But merely make you aware of some of the potential pitfalls that can be involved.
It is easy to assume that because someone meditates they are of good moral and ethical standing,
But this is simply not the case,
And as such is worth being on guard in some capacity.
I've now found a community of like-minded practitioners and an instructor who is competent,
Qualified,
Ethical and reasonably priced.
With a little searching,
You'll be able to find something similar should you desire it.
The good news is,
Is that the internet enables access to a far larger collection of instructors and resources,
So there'll certainly be something out there for you.
This talk was taken from the book,
Mindfulness,
A guidebook to the present moment.
