Okay,
So you've decided to get some help with a counsellor,
Therapist,
Coach or practitioner.
And you're wanting to know how to choose the right one for you,
How to ensure that you get the most from your time,
How to ensure that they help you.
What I want to do in this video is to guide you through that process with a little bit of research,
A little bit of guidance from my experience as a therapist and as a client of therapy.
The first thing I want to draw your attention to is a well-researched study that you can search called Lambert's Pi.
It highlights the percentages of change that people get from different aspects of therapy.
So if you have a look,
You can see that 40% of the change in the individual,
So someone goes and sees a therapist,
40% of the change is based on the client's variables,
You,
What aspects are arising in you and your readiness for change.
15% are expectancy and placebo effects,
So if you think something is going to work,
Regardless of whether it's valid,
Whether it's been proven,
If you just think it's going to work,
The placebo effect will,
Well,
Make it partially work.
The models and the techniques.
15% of the change.
Now this is really interesting to me because as a therapist we spend years,
If not longer,
Studying,
Perfecting,
Going into the different theories and concepts and ideas of how to do the therapy.
But only 15% of the change is impacted by that choice.
So what that means is that That's not that important.
What is important is the therapeutic relationship,
30% of the change.
So if you are ready for change,
If you're expecting to be able to change,
If you want to change and you find a therapist that you resonate with.
Most of the changes are there for you.
So what I'll suggest you do is shop around.
One of the things that I do when I'm looking for a therapist,
Or a guide,
Or a coach,
Or a supervisor,
Or whatever it is,
Is I spend the first session being You know,
Almost like I'm interviewing them.
Because really I am.
This is going to be a long term connected relationship that if works,
I'm going to be expressing deep core aspects of myself.
I need to trust that that person can hold space for it and that they will be able to guide me beyond what I can do by myself and beyond what I can do by other people.
I am giving them money and time and my own vulnerability.
Those are resources that I can only spend a little bit of that are limited and that need to be put into the best space.
So it's a trust-based relationship.
Find a therapist you trust,
That you want to connect with,
And that can hold space for you.
Be critical.
If something feels off.
.
.
Go somewhere else,
That's okay.
If something doesn't feel off,
But you just get a bad vibe,
Or you don't like it,
Or you don't feel connected,
That's okay.
Remember when you're at school,
Your favorite teacher would have been someone else's least favorite teacher,
And so on.
It could have been the subject,
It could have been something to do with their personality,
It could have been their demographics,
Their age,
Their gender,
How they spoke,
Who knows?
It doesn't matter.
You don't have to sit with the first therapist you find.
Like I said,
The majority of the change comes from you,
Your expectancy,
The placebo,
And your relationship with the therapist.
That said.
.
.
All of those things will be impacted by the style that the therapist uses.
And there are plenty of different styles,
And this isn't something that I was aware of until I was deep into the study of counseling itself.
Some therapists are very directive.
They will look in and push.
Particularly if you go down the coaching route,
Or some sort of spiritual paths,
And also direct counseling or psychology,
Some of them will be very directive.
Do this,
This is how you heal,
Da da da.
Others will be very non-directive,
Allowing you to speak,
Allowing you to explore,
And just sort of mirroring back to you.
Other sorts of therapy will be quick and brief,
Offering direct interventions that you can apply,
Giving you homework.
Others will be psycho-spiritual,
Or purely spiritual,
Or meditative.
Others will involve changes or suggestions that work on the mind,
But also the body and the social impacts,
Relationships.
We don't have time in this video to go into the details of all of them,
But what I would suggest you do in that first session or in the interview with them,
Or when you research what they're doing online,
However you're finding these therapists,
Get curious about their methodology.
Ask them,
What approach do you take?
They should be able to highlight how they work with clients.
What the work looks like in session and what you could expect from their sessions.
Yeah?
And also a little bit of a self-awareness.
What are you going to them with?
What problems are you facing?
What diagnoses do you have?
Where do you want to get to?
You can ask them,
Like,
Hey,
Do you work with people like me?
If you struggle with anxiety and they don't work with anxiety,
Not a good fit.
Neurodivergence.
Gender identity.
Ethnicism,
I can speak.
Whatever it is,
Whatever the problem you're facing is,
Whatever the goal you're going for is,
There will be a sort of therapist that has the correct modality that works for you,
Works with people like you,
And that you resonate with and connect with.
Consider them and experiment.
If you do a few sessions and you're finding the vibe isn't there,
It is perfectly okay to change.
Remember that you,
The client,
Are the one that is paying the bills.
You're the one that is getting the results.
So it is on you to be proactive with your choices.
I know that can be hard.
I know that process or that idea of you,
You know,
You've worked up the courage,
You've finally gone through the process.
And you're not happy.
That's okay though.
It is challenging to keep pushing.
But trust me when I say,
You will find the therapist that works,
And when you do,
The right therapist at the right time with the right methodology will be transformative.
This applies for psychologists,
Counsellors,
Spiritual healers,
Coaches.
Everyone.
I've gone through a number.
Some of them were terrible.
Some of them were great for the time and space that I was in,
And some of them have proven themselves to be good over the long term.
That said,
I am at the center of my own healing,
And I encourage you to be at the center of your healing.
Find a therapist that works for you.
And if they don't,
Shop around.
Be discerning.
Yeah?
I wish you luck on your journey.
And may you find the support that best suits you.
Well,
Support you.
