Welcome to Hands On Dads.
Now this session has been created for you as a new father or if you identify as a new father to help you to connect and get to know your baby through physical contact,
Nurturing touch and massage.
The reason why I've created this session especially for you is because I know how much babies benefit from being in close contact with their fathers.
It is such a powerful way for you to bond and connect with your baby.
Babies need their dads,
They need the love,
Support and care of their fathers and so as a father there's an opportunity for you to create special time with your baby to drop out of the head and any fears or worries and anxieties you might have about becoming a new father and into the heart where you can really get to know your baby and your baby can get to know you.
This is so powerful because babies really thrive on deep care,
Love and physical presence and that's from whoever is looking after them.
Babies love to be physically connected so the more nurturing touch we can offer them the better and because nurturing touch is a way to directly communicate to your baby that they're safe,
That they're seen,
That they're heard,
That they belong and they're accepted is powerful and it is easy and simple to do.
It can start with something as small as a foot massage or gentle stroking of your baby's head when they're having a nap or at bedtime and then it can extend to a full massage for a bath or after a bath at nappy changing time or as part of a playful routine.
Baby wearing also is a fantastic way to help you feel connected with your baby and take your baby out into the world to explore and enjoy all of the things that you love to do.
So there's so many ways to physically connect with your baby and it's through physical connection that we really get to feel all of the emotions that are arising and this is very important when you become a new parent because we want to embrace it all.
Becoming a new parent brings up so many emotions,
Many challenges and many celebrations.
When we remember that all is welcome then we allow ourselves to feel it all,
To integrate it and let it pass through without creating a story about us being a good parent or not a good parent because your baby loves you 100% and your baby wants to be in your physical presence as much as possible.
So when you gift this to your baby it creates love and love creates love.
It's a beautiful relationship where you give and receive through physical connected touch.
So this is your invitation to be curious about creating a nurturing touch practice with your baby and to open your heart and your mind to the many benefits that can arise and to really connect with yourself and your baby through this ancient art of baby massage.
So I'm going to share five minutes of geeky science with you so you can understand why creating a baby massage practice with your baby is so important.
So science and research tells us that the first 1001 days of life from conception to two is the most critical window to help your baby reach their full potential because it's in this period of time that your baby is developing at the fastest rate and particularly your baby's brain is developing.
There is actually more current research that is suggesting that it's the first 60 days after birth that is even more important to focus on in terms of giving your baby love,
Support and nurturing care.
So this is why holding your baby,
Baby massage practices,
Keeping physical contact with your baby,
Responding to your baby's needs,
Making sure that your baby feels safe is so important because the safer your baby feels,
The more relaxed their nervous system is,
The more connections in the brain are available to be created and this also means that it's important for your baby to sleep well and to eat well and nurturing touch,
Massage and physical contact has been shown to help your baby activate their relaxation responses,
What's called their rest and digest system and when babies are in rest and digest,
As it suggests,
They sleep better and they absorb food better which is all so important in supporting their development.
What you want to avoid with babies during this critical period is stress.
We want to avoid babies feeling overwhelmed and that when babies reach out for help,
We give it to them,
We respond to their needs and we make sure that babies feel that they are safe and protected.
This avoids babies going into what is called fight,
Flight or freeze which is where the sympathetic nervous system is activated and long-term exposure to stress hormones can permanently affect the way that baby's brains develop.
So what we know is that love matters,
We know that nurturing care,
Kindness and compassion really matters to help all babies reach their full potential and this is what is available to you when you physically connect with your baby.
So as well as what the heart knows,
As well as us feeling good when we receive all these positive cues from our babies,
All the giggles,
All the smiles,
All the closeness that arises when we connect through nurturing touch,
There's also so much science and research that backs it up as well.
Baby massage really does offer so many incredible benefits and it's available to you right here,
Right now.
So now it's time to get ready for your baby massage session by getting some practicalities sorted out so you can relax.
Now the first thing is to make sure that your baby is happy and healthy before you begin the massage practice.
So if your baby has got any kind of acute condition like sickness,
Diarrhea,
Undiagnosed lumps and bumps of rash or temperature,
Now is not a good time to massage your baby.
If you're at all concerned about your baby's health and well-being,
Then consult a doctor.
But what you want is your baby to be happy,
Healthy and relaxed before you begin a massage practice.
If your baby has any kind of chronic condition,
It's also very important to check out with a doctor or a medical practitioner to make sure that it's appropriate for your baby to receive a massage.
Number two is to go and find a special space for you to relax with your baby.
A space that is warm,
That is cosy,
Where the light is not too bright,
Where you won't be disturbed.
You want to switch off your phone,
Maybe put on some relaxing music and get comfortable.
Put on some comfortable clothes,
Bring in some blankets,
Cushions.
And for your baby,
It's great if you can bring in a changing mat or yoga mat and place a towel or a blanket on top.
Throughout the massage,
You might want to change position.
Most important thing is that you feel physically comfortable and supported and your baby can see you and you can connect with your baby with ease.
You also want to use an oil on your baby's body during massage that is safe.
So before we begin,
We're going to do a patch test on your skin and your baby's skin by placing a small amount of your vegetable based oil on the inside of your wrist and on the inside of your baby's wrist.
You want to leave it there for a few moments to make sure there's no adverse reaction.
If there's any redness,
Heat,
Swelling,
Lumps and bumps,
That can be the sign of an allergy.
So you want to wipe that off.
That won't be the right oil to use for massage.
And you can speak to your doctor or a medical practitioner to give you some advice.
So once you've got your space,
You've got your oil,
You're feeling comfortable,
It's time to think about connecting in with your baby and asking your baby's permission to massage.
This is very,
Very important,
Because in order for your baby to feel safe,
It's important that your baby knows that you are tuned in and listening to their needs.
So when we ask baby's permission to massage,
We are honouring their sovereign power to say yes or no,
We're honouring their needs and their boundaries.
So before we begin,
We place our hands together.
And we rub our hands together.
And this becomes the sign for baby that we're about to have a massage.
So when you rub your hands together and lean forward and ask your baby,
Would you like to have a massage today,
Baby,
Baby will start to recognise this as a cue that massage is coming.
Now,
If your baby's happy and relaxed,
They will have relaxed body language,
Deep belly breathing,
Relaxed eye contact with you.
You are the expert of your baby.
So you know when your baby is happy and relaxed.
So this is a sign that massage is welcome.
And that is time for you to connect.
If when you do this sign of rubbing your hands together,
Baby turns away,
Or they become fussy,
Or they start to cry,
Then you can offer massage at another time.
This doesn't mean that your baby doesn't love massage,
It doesn't mean that your baby doesn't love you.
It just means that right here right now,
This is not what your baby wants.
And so it's very important to honour your baby and to honour their no,
To meet them in and to honour their boundaries.
This is also true throughout the massage.
So it's important to check in throughout your practice to make sure your baby is still happy.
If your baby becomes overwhelmed,
You can pick your baby up,
Give them a cuddle,
You can put a still hand on your body,
Do what we call the containment hold,
Which is just when your baby feels safe in your arms.
So we always let baby lead the way.
We do as much massage as your baby wants in each moment.
And we surrender to what happens in each individual practice.
Every time you massage your baby,
It will be different.
Sometimes it might be a playful three minute massage with lots of laughter and giggles.
Another time it could be a 45 minute practice,
Which is really,
Really relaxing,
Really soothing.
And you feel connected with your baby very deeply.
So trust what arises in every moment.
Remember,
You're creating this massage with your baby.
And to surrender to that process together.
Allow yourself to receive from the massage as well as give and to enjoy this practice together.
So what should you expect when you are offering your baby nurturing touch or baby massage?
Well,
Really is best to come with no expectations at all.
Because every time you connect with your baby,
It will be different.
Because we can only appreciate,
Love and experience what arises in the now.
So part of practicing baby massage with your baby is letting go of all of the expectations,
All of the judgments,
All the expectations,
All of the shoulds that you might be putting upon yourself or feeling from other members of your family or from society.
And being present with your baby,
Allowing everything to arise so you can meet it in that moment.
And to know that every time you connect with your baby,
It's going to be different,
You're going to learn something about yourself and your baby.
And this is how you expand and grow together.
You're in a process of co-creation.
When you are parenting,
You don't need to know all of the answers.
You don't need to fix your baby or make your baby do anything.
It's really important to just accept your baby exactly as they are.
Because there is so much love available when we come and meet our babies from this place.
So when you're approaching the idea of giving your baby a massage,
Come with joy,
With open heart,
With the desire to connect and communicate.
Come with a sense of curiosity,
Come with a sense of wanting to expand your awareness of what your baby is going to offer you and what you're going to offer your baby.
Know that babies live in the moment.
So what they want in one moment can change from the next.
And this is what is so amazing about babies is that they are truthful,
They are honest about how they feel.
They are present and live from moment to moment so that they can be authentic in how they are expressing themselves.
We can learn a lot from babies.
So if you start to massage your baby,
And it doesn't last very long,
Or your baby reacts in a way that perhaps you weren't anticipating,
Allow it all,
Learn from it all,
Integrate it all,
Without attaching a story about the massage being good or bad,
Or your baby being easy or difficult,
Or you being happy or sad.
Everything is available.
And everything is always a mix of so many different feelings and emotions.
And it's all so heightened when you're a new parent,
Because you're in the unknown,
You're in the mystery of life,
You're sleep deprived.
And there's lots of different demands on your time.
So be kind to yourself,
Be compassionate to yourself,
And be kind and compassionate to your baby.
Remember you're learning together.
So let go of the mind of the thoughts of beliefs,
Show up,
Open your heart and be ready to receive.
In this hands on dad session,
We are only going to do the leg massage with your baby.
This is because it is a perfect introduction to baby massage.
Most babies love having their legs touched.
And babies kick their legs a lot in the early weeks and months of life.
So it's a really great area to relax.
So you can build up your confidence with your baby by starting on the legs.
And then if you want to extend to understand how to massage the whole of your baby,
We have a full baby massage course that you can download and you can learn the rest of the routine.
