Understanding Pain: Giving Myself Permission To Be In Pain

20:22

Understanding Pain: Giving Myself Permission To Be In Pain

by Sheelagh Starrett

Rated

4

Type

guided

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

2

In this meditation on Understanding Pain, we use imaginal EFT Tapping, because when we are in pain, even tapping on the face can be too much, imagining we are doing so will have the same effect if we are not able to actually tap. Or even just listening to the meditation and experiencing a benefit. We often deny we are in pain, even to ourselves, for many reasons. Here, we are looking at letting at least some of that go, and give ourselves permission to be in pain, knowing that will not be a permanent state, but perhaps a relief and a release. Giving that permission can ease how we experience the pain, physically or mentally, or both. We are also breathing mindfully, breathing and tapping for more effect.

Body Dialogue Visualization Pain Tapping Mindful Breathing Self Validation Pain Acceptance

Meet your Teacher

Sheelagh Starrett

London, UK

Meet your Teacher

Sheelagh Starrett

London, UK

Transcript

Hello. Here we are again, Talking about understanding pain. And today we're discussing, We're thinking about giving myself permission to be in pain. So before we begin, I hope you're somewhere quiet and comfortable where you can be undisturbed for a little while. Where you're just not doing anything else, You're just relaxing. And listening to my words. So welcome. I'm Sheila. We've perhaps met before. And in this meditation, We're going to explore something that can be surprisingly difficult. Giving ourselves permission to be in pain. Pain can be physical. It can be emotional. It can be mental. And sometimes. . . It can be all three at once. Today isn't about fixing your pain. It's not about forcing yourself to feel better. And it's certainly not about telling yourself that everything is okay when it isn't. Instead, We're going to gently explore what happens when we stop fighting with the fact that we are in pain. And begin to offer ourselves some acceptance, Compassion. And respect. You can do this meditation today, Whether your pain is mild or intense. And if touching the body or physically tapping feels uncomfortable you don't need to. Because today we'll use a marginal tapping. You can simply imagine the tapping points or perhaps make a very small movement. Hovering perhaps above the tapping points if that feels comfortable because there's no right or wrong way to do this. And please listen to your body throughout. If anything feels too much, You can stop. So take a slow, Comfortable breath in. And gently breathe out. And another breath in. And out. Before we begin, I'd like you to notice your pain. As it is right now. Not yesterday, Not tomorrow, Just this moment. Without judging it, I'd like you to give it a number on a scale of 1 to 10, Where 1 is very mild and 10 is extremely intense. So where would you place your pain right now? Perhaps just remember that number. You don't need to change it. You don't need to explain it. Just notice. Perhaps it's a three, A six, An eight. Or maybe it's a ten. Whatever number comes to you is fine. And if your pain changes During this meditation, That's okay too. That's quite a usual thing to happen. And we're simply noticing. Now ask yourself something else. How do I feel about being in pain? Not just the pain itself. My feelings about having the pain, This pain. Perhaps there's frustration, Anger, Fear, Sadness, Impatience, Embarrassment. Perhaps there's a feeling that you shouldn't be in pain. That you should be coping better, That you should be able to get on with things. Perhaps you feel you have to hide it. Or minimize it. Or pretend you're okay. Perhaps you've become very good at saying, I'm fine. When actually you're not. And perhaps like me, You sometimes hide your pain. And then there's another layer of discomfort. Because hiding it takes energy. Pretending takes energy. Holding yourself together takes energy. And sometimes we don't even realise how much effort we're putting into looking as though everything is okay. So very gently ask yourself. Do I give myself permission to be in pain? Really allow that question to land. Do I? Or somewhere inside me, Do I feel that I need permission from someone else? Perhaps I feel I have to justify why I'm hurting. Perhaps I need someone to tell me it's okay. Perhaps I believe that other people's pain is more important than mine. Perhaps I think. . . Other people have it worse. I shouldn't complain. I just need to get on with it. Nobody wants to hear about my pain. Or perhaps I don't want to be a burden. Just notice. There's nothing to fix here. We're beginning to disentangle something. To see what we've learned to do with pain. And perhaps what we've learned to do against ourselves when pain appears. So we'll do some imaginal tapping now, So if it feels comfortable, Close your eyes and take a gentle breath. And bring your attention to your pain. You don't need to make it bigger. You don't need to concentrate intensely on it. Just acknowledge. This is hair. And imagine bringing your attention to the side of your hand. Imagine gently tapping there. And repeat after me silently or out loud. Even though I have all this pain, I honour and respect myself. Again. Even though I have all this pain, I honour and respect myself. And one more time. Even though I have all this pain, I honour and respect myself. Take a breath. No imagine tapping at the eyebrow point. All this pan. Side of the eye, All this pain. Under the eye. All this pain. Under the nose, All this pain. The chin, All this pain. Collarbone. All this pain. Under the arm, All this pain. Top of the head, All this pain. And breathe. You don't have to make the pain disappear. You're simply acknowledging its existence. All this pain. Again. Eyebrow point. All this pain. Side of the eye. All this pain. Under the eye. All this pain. Perhaps you can add, I notice you under the nose. I notice this pain. Chin. I don't have to pretend it isn't here. Collarbone. I don't have to hide it from myself. Under the arm. I can acknowledge that I'm hurting. Top of the head and I can still respect myself. Take another breath. Now let's explore this idea of permission. Imagine saying to yourself, I give myself permission to acknowledge that I am in pain. Notice what happens. Does that feel easy? Or does something inside you resist? There may be a voice saying, You shouldn't, You have to carry on, Don't make a fuss. Be grateful. Think positively. Other people have problems too. If any of those thoughts appear, You don't need to argue with them, Just notice them. Because perhaps they once helped you cope. Perhaps you learned them a long time ago. And now gently imagine yourself tapping again on the eyebrow point I have all this pain side of the eye and perhaps I learn to hide it under the eye. Perhaps I learned not to show it. Under the nose. Perhaps I learned to say, I'm OK. On the chin, Even when I'm not okay. Collarbone Perhaps I thought I needed permission to hurt. Under the arm. Perhaps I thought my pain wasn't acceptable. Top of the hat. Perhaps I thought I had to justify it. Breathe again. And now. . . Eyebrow point. But I don't have to judge myself for hurting. Side of the eye. I don't have to apologize for being in pain. Under the eye. I don't have to prove that my pain is real. Under the nose. I can simply acknowledge it. Chin. This is what I'm experiencing right now. Collarbone. And I can meet myself here. Under the arm with kindness. Top of the head. With compassion. Take a slow breath in. And breathe out. And now think for a moment about what happens when you hide your pain. Perhaps you tense yourself. You may change the way you move. Perhaps you smile when you don't feel like smiling. Perhaps you tell people you're okay because you don't want to explain. Perhaps you push through when what you really need is to stop. And notice. There may be pain in the pain itself. And then there may be additional discomfort. From resisting it. Hiding it or fighting it. We're not blaming ourselves for that. We're simply becoming aware. So imagine tapping again. All this pain. All this effort to hide it. All is pretending I'm okay. All this discomfort. All is holding on. And breathe. No. The eyebrow point, Perhaps I can soften some of that effort. Side of the eye. Perhaps I don't have to hide from myself. Underneath the eye. Perhaps I can acknowledge what is true for me. Underneath the nose. I am in pain right now. Let's take a pause. And notice how that statement feels. Not. I will always be in pain. Not nothing will ever change, Just I am in pain right now. And perhaps there's something deeply compassionate about allowing that truth to exist without immediately trying to change it. Bring your attention back to your breathing, Perhaps you put your hand over your heart and breathe. Imagine breathing deeply into the space around the pain, Wherever that might be. You aren't trying to force anything. You're just making space. And imagine tapping through the points once more. Eyebrow point. All this pain. Side of the eye. I see you. Under the eye. I acknowledge you. Under the nose. I don't need to fight you right now. Chin I can listen. Collarbone. I can be kind to myself. Under the arm. I can honor what I'm experiencing. Top of the head. Even with all this pain, I honour and respect myself. Take a breath. And perhaps now. Repeating even though I have all this pain, There is still a me here. A me who deserves kindness. Are me who deserves respect. A me who deserves compassion. A me who doesn't have to earn the right to be cared for. And one final time. Even though I have all this pain, I honor and respect myself. Breathe. Now gently bring your awareness back to your pain. And if you'd like to, Give it another number from 1 to 10. Curious to know where it is now. Perhaps it's changed, Perhaps it hasn't. Either is completely okay. The number isn't a test. There's nothing you have to achieve. We're simply noticing. And maybe something else has changed. Maybe your relationship with pain feels a little different. Maybe you feel a little more able to acknowledge it. Maybe you've recognized just how much effort you've been putting into hiding it. Or perhaps you've discovered that giving yourself permission to hurt It's much harder than you expected. Whatever you've discovered today, Let that be enough. Take a slow breath in. And a gentle breath out. You don't have to fix yourself. You don't have to make yourself okay. You can simply begin here with the truth of this moment. I am in pain. I acknowledge that. I am allowed to feel what I feel. And even though I have all this pain, I honour and respect myself. One last breath. And when you're ready. Gently bring yourself back into the room. Opening your eyes if they've been closed. Taking your time. No need to rush. And thank you for spending this time with yourself. And perhaps today you've discovered. That giving yourself permission to acknowledge your pain isn't giving in to it. Isn't giving up. It may simply be the beginning of no longer having to fight yourself as well as the pain. So thanks for being here today. Appreciated the time we've spent together. We'll see each other soon. Take good care of yourself.