Okay,
So as we begin this session,
You can ease yourself into a position that's really comfortable for you.
Now,
It's a simple fact that nobody in the world knows better than you do what feels good for you.
And I encourage you to use what you know about your own body and your own mind to gradually begin to guide yourself down into a deeper,
More enjoyable experience of relaxation and comfort.
And if you haven't already,
Naturally,
You can go ahead now and close your eyes.
Just letting everything that's out there,
Any sights,
Sounds,
Even thoughts,
To just drift off into the distance.
Just letting it fade away into the background.
And it won't be any distraction at all during your session today.
And of course,
What's going on out there will naturally continue to unfold out there.
But right now,
As you're relaxing deeper into a more receptive state,
Is that all of that stuff out there is just not so important right now.
But what is important,
And what you're becoming more aware of,
Is that the thoughts and feelings inside of you are becoming more clear,
More in focus,
Because you may have begun to realize that in terms of your inner experience,
You already have within you the ability to guide the direction of your thoughts and the quality of your thoughts.
And so,
You can easily generate a deeply and genuinely comfortable state of mind and body,
Where you provide yourself with a generous space and a compassionate boundary,
Some distance from all of those everyday tasks,
Or lists,
Or responsibilities,
Or obligations,
For now.
Just give yourself whatever permission you need to put it all down,
For now.
And if there's anything that you need to take back up later,
Well,
You can do that,
Too,
After this session.
But for now,
Just put it all down.
Because right now,
It doesn't even matter what goes on out there.
And you know,
What does matter a whole lot,
Is what you're learning,
What you're discovering,
And how it helps you feel better and stronger.
And maybe the most enjoyable aspect of this profoundly relaxed and comfortable experience that you're exploring more deeply,
Just kind of leaning into,
Deeper still,
Is that it reminds you,
In a very powerful way,
To the very core of who you are.
That all day,
Every day,
It's you who gets to choose.
I mean,
You get to choose which way your thinking goes.
You get to choose what you want to learn,
What skills,
What information.
And you get to choose what you want to do with your time.
I mean,
Even my have-tos,
Like when I say,
I have to work,
Aren't really have-tos at all,
If I'm being honest.
Actually,
I always get to choose.
And you always get to choose,
Too,
What you want to think about when you find yourself with some open time.
You even get to choose whether or not to express your feelings.
And if you do,
You get to choose how and when to express them,
And who you feel good about expressing them to.
That's all within your control.
And so,
I wonder,
What does it actually mean to be in control?
Well,
It means that you recognize and use your ability to choose,
The power to choose.
And when you use your power,
And your knowledge,
And your experience to choose wisely,
You find the quality of your life continues to expand,
And the richness and depth of who you are continues to develop and evolve.
Where I find people tend to get into trouble,
Where they tend to suffer,
Is when a person forgets to remember that they actually have the power to choose.
And maybe you've had experiences earlier in your life where you felt trapped,
Totally stuck in harmful or negative,
Even toxic circumstances,
And maybe you still feel trapped like that.
And I always wonder whether someone else coming from outside into your situation would agree that you're trapped at all.
And it's interesting to consider that when you genuinely challenge yourself to deliberately take the steps to step back,
Stepping outside the boundaries and limitations of what you've been believing,
You can dare to ask yourself a question.
You might ask yourself,
What if?
What if I'm open to exploring and discovering new possibilities and doing something different?
Now I can imagine that you'll actually discover a sense of excitement,
The kind of excitement that builds as you begin taking reasonable and intelligent risks in your own behalf.
Because,
If you were to step back and consider other people's lives,
People that you admire and respect,
People that you consider successful in the ways that are important to you,
Well naturally you recognize that when they started out along their path,
There were no guarantees of success given to them.
They had to take a chance,
To explore a possibility.
I mean,
Just because someone takes a singing lesson,
It doesn't guarantee that one day they'll be singing on stage for a crowd of people.
Just because a person goes out for coffee with someone they're interested in,
It doesn't guarantee that they'll end up marrying that person and starting a family.
And just because a person signs up for a course in woodworking or painting or biology,
It doesn't guarantee that they'll become a carpenter or an artist or a doctor.
Yet,
Taking that first step,
Enrolling,
Saying yes to something new or unfamiliar,
Creates the possibility of enjoying the date or the class,
The possibility of doing well and then taking the next step,
The next class,
And another,
And another,
And eventually you've accomplished what you set out to do.
And it is in your control whether you show up at the right place on time.
And it is in your control whether you're well prepared.
And it is in your control whether you communicate clearly.
And it is in your control when you act with integrity.
And that's so much of what relationship is,
So much of what progress is,
Of what success is on whatever path is important for you.
It's just showing up and making the effort and being prepared and enduring moments that might be,
At times,
Difficult or uncomfortable or boring or even a bit repetitive,
Is it not?
And if you keep showing up long enough and you do your part well,
You arrive at your destination,
You gain the skill,
You complete the program,
You find yourself in a stable,
Loving relationship.
And in a way,
That's what leads to satisfaction in so many aspects of your life because you create possibilities and you strive to make those possibilities realities with intention.
And now,
It's time for you to take a moment to reflect back and honestly consider what aspects of your life,
What situations have,
In the past,
Seemed out of your control.
And you can notice what images,
Memories,
Scenes arise in your mind.
And maybe,
You might take a moment to recognize what,
In your life,
Where you are right now,
You might have tried to convince yourself you just can't do anything about.
And now,
I wonder,
What if you simply asked yourself,
What if?
What if I can choose to do something else,
Something different?
What opportunities will I create if I choose to do something new,
Something different?
And naturally,
At those times,
In those moments,
When you might not see any alternatives right away,
You always have the opportunity,
The option.
You can choose to talk to someone else,
Someone you respect,
Someone you trust or admire.
You can choose to get another viewpoint,
Another perspective.
Because it so often happens that what feels like a trap or seems to be an impasse to one person is a rare and welcome opportunity to another.
Think about it.
Even in your own life,
As you think back,
I'm sure that there are moments that,
At the time,
Seemed totally stuck or painful or impossible.
And now,
Reflecting,
You can see that they were pivotal moments,
Times when defining choices,
Defining changes took place,
When new and unexpected opportunities opened up.
And in my practice at Monarch,
There are many times that people connect with me,
And they might feel stuck or helpless or out of control.
They're feeling awful,
And they just want to feel better,
For something to shift.
And often,
I can see things that they can't,
Opportunities,
Choices.
Because everyone has blind spots.
It's just a fact that sometimes it can be hard to see a bigger picture when you're in the middle of it all.
We all have blind spots.
I know that I sure do.
And when I feel stuck or trapped,
Like I'm just banging my head again and again on that same damn wall,
It's such a huge relief.
And I remember that I have people around me that I can go to,
People I admire and respect,
Who I can ask for perspective,
A new and different viewpoint,
Friends and colleagues and therapists who I can ask questions,
So I can learn from people who I can see have clearly learned to handle whatever it is that I'm currently struggling with,
To do it skillfully,
Wisely,
Who can offer me a new path forward,
Who can share with me what it takes to step forward into my life and live it well,
And in doing so,
Help me find my own guiding star,
Something you can navigate towards in planning your responses and behavior and developing your own strategies.
Because isn't it true,
You didn't learn to be the way you are,
You didn't get to where you are today all by yourself.
Many,
Many people,
For better or for worse,
Helped to shape that.
And so,
You already know you don't have to solve problems all by yourself.
And in this moment,
You have more knowledge and experience than you've ever had before.
And you know that one of the things that really is in your control is choosing,
Choosing to find an ally,
A knowledgeable or skillful or caring person that can support you along your journey.
And so many times,
Each and every day,
You face all kinds of situations and all kinds of circumstances,
And you can just allow these ideas to really sink in deeply.
And you can make them so natural within you,
So intuitive within you,
That you can almost instantly recognize when it's time to step into,
To immerse yourself in a situation,
And make something good happen,
Because you are able to influence it in some way.
And you may not have total control over it,
But you can influence what happens.
You can create an opportunity.
You can create a possibility.
And naturally,
It's also true that in other situations,
You can almost instantly recognize,
Now here's something you have little or no control over.
And you might feel it's important to state your opinion just for the record.
And you might do whatever it is that you feel you need to do to feel good about yourself.
But at the same time,
You'll find that you can emotionally step back.
Just draw yourself back enough,
Physically and emotionally.
You can energetically distance yourself enough that you're still comfortable with whatever unfolds.
And of course,
You'll always remember to never fully invest yourself in something that you only have partial influence upon.
Because you know the power to choose is a very important one.
And you have the freedom to choose.
And of course,
You already know that you're responsible for the choices that you make,
But only the choices that you make.
And as I see it,
It's truly a gift,
A wonderful gift,
To have that freedom to choose which people you're going to allow into your life because they help you to feel good when you're around them.
What you choose to do with your time because it interests you and satisfies you.
Where you'll choose to go and when you'll choose to do something because you know it's time for you to do what helps you.
And I think you can perceive that freedom now because you're not stuck or trapped at all.
You're free to choose.
And you're in control.
And you can take whatever time you need and you can gather the facts in order to choose wisely.
And I wonder if you might even begin to hear these phrases just bubbling up,
Reminding you from your deepest awareness over and over.
I have the freedom to choose.
I have the power to choose.
And you'll feel so good about that,
Deeply and genuinely relieved.
And so,
With all of those wonderful feelings just flowing through you,
You can feel your power and you know what it means to be in control,
In control of your body as you breathe comfortably,
Feeling the deep relaxation just coursing through every part of your body,
Every muscle,
Every bone,
Every single cell.
And you're aware of the freedom of your mind as you choose to think and organize and problem solve and anticipate.
And you're clearly aware of the freedom of your spirit,
Your soul,
Because you know that your life is absolutely yours to live.
And the choice of how you use your life,
Well,
That choice is yours to make in each and every moment.
And you can know with certainty that these things are all definitely in your control.
And so,
If and whenever you might begin to feel as if things aren't going your way,
You'll remember your power to choose,
Your freedom to do something different.
And you'll find that you feel better as you reaffirm to yourself that you can move along the pathway of your life more gracefully,
More skillfully,
More intentionally,
And more successfully in the ways that are meaningful for you.
And so,
You can go ahead and take whatever time feels good for you to just remain with these ideas,
Allowing them to permeate your mind and body,
Integrating them deeply as you absorb them ever more deeply into the very core of who you are.
And then,
When you've had enough time to digest and process and learn from this session,
Then you can choose to bring this session to a comfortable close,
Feeling really good about yourself,
Like you've finally settled something very important within yourself.
And when you're good and ready to end for now,
Then you can choose to begin the process of gradually returning your awareness to the physical space where you are,
Slowly,
At a rate that's gentle and comfortable for you.
You can take your time,
There's no hurry,
Just like a bubble of air rising from the depths of the ocean,
Allowing some gentle movement into your fingers and your toes.
And then,
When you're fully prepared to,
You can bring yourself all the way back into full awareness,
Opening your eyes,
Awake,
Alert,
Refreshed,
And feeling wonderful.
