What If Your Life Is Unfolding Perfectly?

29:21

29:21

What If Your Life Is Unfolding Perfectly?

by Candice Alessia Berry

Rated

4.9

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talks

Activity

Meditation

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Everyone

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409

In this episode I discuss all the reasons why you're life is unfolding perfectly. And we go even deeper with journal prompts that you can use in order to get clear on your own feelings about this idea: what if everything happens for a reason? We've talked about it on the podcast before but this episode is a completely different vibe. This episode is basically a free coaching session with me - that's how deep we go! If you like it please share it with someone who might need it.

Meet your Teacher

Candice Alessia Berry

Florence, Metropolitan City of Florence, Italy

Meet your Teacher

Candice Alessia Berry

Florence, Metropolitan City of Florence, Italy

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Freewell podcast. Today I am here with a question for you and the question is a pretty big one I think and it's something that I know that I've sat with over on and off over the years and I think I'm kind of sitting with it now as I'm kind of like thinking about how I'd like to move forward but the question that I want to ask you today is what if your life is unfolding perfectly? Sit with that for a second. What if your life is unfolding perfectly? What if everything that is happening right now is happening exactly as it's supposed to at exactly the right time for the highest evolution of your spirit and also all the people around you and so on and so forth? So this can be I think kind of a difficult thing to to be with to sit with because I think it's difficult for a couple of reasons. Number one it's obviously much easier to believe that everything is working out and that everything happens for a reason when things are going really good. Like you know we've all been in those moments you know you're in like flow state and things are just rolling and you're feeling good and like synchronicities are happening they're just popping up you know all these opportunities or you're meeting the right people or you're finding money on the ground or like all of these good things are happening and they're kind of happening like one after another like boom boom boom boom boom and in those moments it's like oh like yeah everything happens for a reason and it's almost like you know cute to say it in those moments because like it's easy to say it in those moments but that's kind of like the point it's just it's way too easy to only believe that everything happens for a reason when things are going good and we need to kind of shift I think into a space of remembering that everything is happening for a reason and that your life is unfolding perfectly even when shit hits the fan and that's a lot easier said than done like 100% it's not like I have it all figured out and I'm saying like yeah but I try really hard to embody this because I think that I think that believing that everything is unfolding perfectly and believing that everything happens for a reason I really believe that is a soothing bomb on any difficult situation anything that happens you can find the lesson faster if you apply this belief that everything happens for a reason and I know that like people who have suffered anything in any way any situation from being disease or loss of a loved one or any of the isms right so or oh phobias okay any of those racism or sexism or homophobia or ageism or any of those things it can be really difficult to kind of embody this even in other areas of your life obviously because nobody wants to believe that like these things that are I guess we could kind of say objectively bad although even there I'm not sure that that's entirely true and I'm certain instead that it is not helpful to believe that these things are bad but it's really difficult to even apply this to other areas of your life if you have been in a situation or if your life has handed you maybe more lemons than lemonade and I fully respect that and I fully respect that I come from a position of privilege and sharing this point of view and if this episode is too triggering then please take everything I say with a grain of salt and you know kind of go on about your way and find your path forward just ignore what I have to say this week and come back for another episode I'm totally cool with it you always have to do what's right for you but sorry about that they're collecting they're recycling I think that believing this though is is really fundamental to our well-being I think it keeps us in a space where we are able to feel good and turn our energy around and turn our attitude around really quickly so if we believe that everything happens for a reason and that being good or bad then we are able to immediately almost analyze the situation and find like the nugget of wisdom or find the lesson and find a way to integrate that and then move forward which is obviously a really simplistic way of doing it like there's so much processing of emotions involved in that in that as well like we're not I'm not saying it's like okay everything happens for a reason so like I lost my job and I'm fine because it was meant to happen what I mean is to look for ways in which things are unfolding perfectly for you and try to look back because when we look back hindsight is 20 20 right that's a really famous saying but when we look back it's often really easy to see different ways that things happened and how those situations or people or experiences were catalysts for something else were catalysts for like the next the next phase of your life right there's a lot I've seen this a lot with clients too where where they go through something that feels really devastating or feels really difficult and what I try to remember sorry what I try to remind them in those situations is that whatever you're going through whatever it is and regardless of how you feel about it right now and even if you're struggling with it that's totally fine but this becomes this situation will become the foundation of your next level so how can you infuse some amount of faith and surrender but also positivity and optimism into the creation of that next level how can you infuse whatever shit storm you're going through you know whatever lemonades you have how can or lemonades whatever lemons sorry whatever lemons you have how can you infuse those with a little bit of positivity to start really actively creating your next level and so some questions that I would encourage you to ask yourself is if you chose and I mean chose or if you choose to believe that your life is unfolding perfectly and it really is a choice so if you were to make that decision right now that your life is unfolding perfectly for you what would shift for you and maybe in believing that you could give up worrying and you could give up striving pushing forcing trying to prove yourself to someone or something or whatever trying to prove to yourself that you're worthy of something if you believed that everything was happening for a reason and that things are unfolding exactly as they're supposed to what would shift for you and then another question I would encourage you to ask yourself is if you choose to believe right now that your life is unfolding perfectly and that everything is happening for your good and the highest good of all involved what would be different in your life how would your life be different so if you let's be real let's have a moment if you stopped complaining about whatever it is that you're struggling with if you stopped whining about it and I laugh because then they're done that currently they're perhaps and doing that in some areas but if you believed that how would your if you sorry if you stopped doing that if you stopped complaining stopped whining and really believed that absolutely everything that is happening right now is happening in your favor for the highest good of all involved and is unfolding perfectly how would your life be different take a second pause this episode get your journal out and ask yourself the question and I'm begging you don't listen to this podcast because I have a sweet sounding voice okay or because you're on your walk or whatever like I am invested in you I don't even know you but I am genuinely invested in your well-being okay whoever you are that is listening to this and it is a disservice to yourself if you are listening to this like spiritual entertainment okay these are actual tools that you can use to make your life better now I'm getting a little bit bossy I got my bossy pants on right now because it's so important that you do not just listen to this but that you actually do it right ask yourself these questions take a second and analyze your life for a minute it might be uncomfortable but I can promise you a much better life is on the other side of this kind of self-exploration what you want like what you truly want like the shit that you won't say out loud to people but that you can't stop thinking about at night is on the other side of asking yourself these questions that sounds like a big deal because it is because hey it's just your life right just your life no big deal no big deal so I'm going to say these things again hoping that you are going to pause and actually hashtag do the work okay but if you choose to believe that everything is unfolding perfectly in your life what would shift for you and if you chose to believe that life is unfolding perfectly for you how would your life be different how would you be different how would you behave differently how would you show up differently how would you think differently these are big questions and they need and deserve time right to sit with like you need to sit with them in order to really get to the good stuff right so I really encourage you to do that and another side note about this topic is that there is always going to be more to want okay there's going to be more to have and there's going to be more to be especially because of the setup and the framework of the society that we live in okay and like I am going to start talking about capitalism more because I think that you cannot have a conversation about race about sexism about ageism about homophobia about like xenophobia about any of these things you cannot have a conversation about any of these topics including personal development without including a conversation about both capitalism and the vehicle that capitalism uses to sell things to us which is marketing okay we can't and why can we not have those things well let's look at just the framework of how life should unfold for most of us okay so and when I you know what that's not even true let's talk about how life should unfold for white people what is expected of white people okay and what is kind of pre-programmed for white people because it's not necessarily the same and that in and of itself is a huge problem so white people are expected more or less okay to grow up and to go through all the stages of education to get a good job to get married and to produce 2. 5 children and to live in a white picket fence we are in 2023 and still this is kind of like the pre-determined path for us and while that path is I think restrictive okay and does not encompass the totality of who we are the worst part is that that path is not even what is considered to be appropriate or like expected for people of color for black people for Latinos etc etc because then we get into a discussion about racism obviously but even if we look at marketing deeper okay we are constantly being sold products in order to make us look better smell better and be like hairless if you're women and stuff like that but even like I guess razors for men now are really having a their glow up they're really having their moment we're constantly being sold perfume ads and like toothpaste and all of these things and the underlying theme of any commercial that you watch including car commercials like literally any of them I'm begging you to to like take a second and think about what I'm about to say the next time you're watching a commercial but the underlying theme of these commercials is always the same who you are is not good enough and the only way that you will be good enough slash cool slash pretty slash popular is if you buy our product okay so there is always going to be more to be had there is always going to be more to buy there's always going to be more to want because the structure of our society tells us that one we need to be pursuing a certain path which even if you are not a white person I would imagine that there is still that same pressure of like that's kind of the ideal of like going through the stages of education getting married having kids buying the house retiring working until you're old and then dying that's basically it right and then in addition to that we still have all of this marketing that's telling us that we are inherently not good enough the way we are and in some cases that tell us like actually we smell or we're gross or we're ugly or whatever the way we are so there's even a little bit of negative messaging there and why this conversation can't be excluded from what I'm talking about on the podcast today which is your life unfolding perfectly it is really hard to believe that everything is happening for a reason and that things are unfolding perfectly if you are being sold some ideal of how your life should be and the stickiest part of that is also the fact that we're seeing it a lot more on social media and on social media we're choosing to tap into that energy and there is nothing wrong necessarily with wanting more for yourself as long as the more that you've decided is yours as long as you decided it and not your mom or your dad or your siblings or your friends or like you know this guru on social media or the girl who's writing who's saying this podcast whatever or society okay as long as you choose that you want more because you want it because it's going you think it's you know going to make you happier and whatever and I would question even that but okay if you want something you want it but we still want to bring it back to understanding that where you are right now is exactly where you're meant to be and this is the foundation for the next phase of your evolution which sounds kind of crazy but it really is because we're always learning more we're always moving off of where we are and taking the next step and you know for me in particular one of the things I notice is like how my how my business and how my coaching practice shifts with every book that I read it gets different it changes somehow and sometimes it gets deeper and sometimes the move is lateral sometimes it's like you know a complete blow up like it just literally shakes the foundations of everything that I've read and everything that I've known up until now and I see a totally different way to be and there's nothing wrong with that it's just how we're how we're evolving and so it's when I think about this when I think about my life unfolding perfectly I think it is also connected to like the information that I take in so I'm at this level right now and my understanding of like even a book that I read will be it will be impacted by the level that I'm at now and if I read that same book 10 years from now that information will be translated in a different way because of where I'm at and both cases are okay and both of them are perfect it's just the way that things evolve and the way that time flows and the way that we as people integrate knowledge and you know this idea that you know Maya Angelou said to Oprah a hundred million years ago and Oprah for me is the queen of everything along with Louise Hay but that when you know better you do better and so every time we go through something and it becomes that knowing better that thing that we went through gives us the knowledge to move to the next level and so it's difficult to not be okay with where you are because it means that there's something inherently wrong with the path that you're on and the way that your life is unfolding and think about how that would feel to carry around to carry around this idea of you know I'm you know I'm wrong and my life sucks or my life isn't what I want it to be you know I'm not where I want to be and and I've been there um I've talked about this I think even on just the last episode you know those feelings sometimes come up anyways this idea of like you know I'm not married or I don't have kids and like how will that unfold for me and in those moments this is what I try and fail at sometimes too but this is what I tried to get back to is is believing that everything happens for a reason and everything unfolds perfectly and I find that easier to do because I've been doing it for 10 years um because I think actually more than that if I'm honest with you but yeah about 10 years because I remember looking back at my life and um like in particular I had a really bad experience at the first university that I went to I don't think I've ever really expanded on that and I probably should because it really was the catalyst for my entire life like that was like like a turning point it was a massive plot twist in my life going to university um and having just an absolutely atrocious time it just I it was very very difficult for me but had I not gone to university and had I not had a bad experience and had I not had to leave university in order to take care of myself to take care of my mental health and really focus on getting well um and had I not been working at the store that I was working at in Canada with the colleague that I was working at in Canada I wouldn't have been able to get another position working for the government of Canada and had I not worked for the government of Canada I wouldn't have had well one a temporary contract because the program that I was working for was only for about a little bit over nine months um and I wouldn't have been able to save up the money that I saved in order to be able to go to Europe for six months in 2012 and had I not gone to Europe I wouldn't have then gone to the other universities that I went to and had I not gone to all the other universities and unfortunately there are many um I would not have ended up at a study abroad program and in Florence and had I not done that I would not have met my partner and I would not be sitting in this room right now in Lucca, Italy having this conversation with you and the biggest loss of all of that would be that I wouldn't have Mila and I know that that sounds silly because she is my dog but she is the love of my life and had I not gone through every single messed up experience um you know all the things that happened at university and then all the universities after that and the transfers and like moving abroad and coming back to Canada and going back abroad again and if I hadn't gone through all of that we would not be having this conversation so if I'm able to trace all of those steps and I've said this a million times on the podcast I know I've told a story similar like this I don't know how into detail I got but I can't not believe that life is unfolding perfectly I can't not believe it because I wouldn't have what I have right now I wouldn't have the life that I have right now I wouldn't have Mila and that alone is just the thought is devastating to me like it just it's there is no world that exists for me without her and so yeah it just it's you I have to believe that and I wish for you that you take a second and you look back over just the entire landscape of your life okay let's get real real let's get real real right now look back over the the entire landscape of your life and look at every horrible thing that has ever happened to you okay every seemingly bad experience bad person bad situation whatever and try to see if you can find a way to connect it to where you are now okay and be mindful you can do this in a negative way you can totally spiral out or you can try to find meaning in the mess because as humans there is no meaning there is no inherent meaning to life there is no inherent purpose to life and we can be nihilists about it and we can sit here and do some navel gazing and feel bad about it or we can give the shit that has happened to us a meaning we can choose to believe that life is unfolding perfectly we can choose to believe that everything happens for a reason and we can create a new story for ourselves okay and like honestly I think this is turning out to be one of my most favorite podcasts and I didn't even want to record a podcast today but this is turning out to be one of my most my one of my favorite episodes so far that I've recorded because this is the basis of mindset work this is basically you getting like a free session with me right and and there's more to it obviously than just this but this is such powerful powerful powerful stuff and it your life is ultimately up to you there is just no one no one that is in control of you of who you are and what you think okay and we see this often even in people who have lived through the most just just the most like atrocities that are possible right we know a little bit about Viktor Frankl the man who survived the holocaust and how he turned that experience into something meaningful in order to help him survive human beings are endlessly capable literally literally limitless possibilities for what we can create and our minds are our most powerful tool that is why I specialize in mindset despite the fact that every business course I have ever taken has told me not to because it's too broad and it's too vague and it's too this but I don't care because I really believe like this is the juice this is this is the end all be all because if you can get this sorted if you can get your mind right the rest of your life will totally fall into place totally fall into place because the stories that you tell yourself are what is what are the stories that you're telling yourself are what creates your day-to-day life so whatever you're living in right now whatever you see around you and whatever you're feeling about what you see around you all of that is born in your mind take a minute with that all of what you see around you is born in your mind there is nothing that you have around you that you didn't in some way choose okay and you can find an exception to this rule always and I'm not going to get into it I'm not willing to to have that conversation again in this podcast you can find a way around this if you want to you can find a way around what I'm saying but think about how much more powerful your life would be if you chose to just believe me for five seconds think about how empowering it is to believe that you have a choice to feel different right now to live a different life right now and you really really really do because all of that because your life it is all in your mind it exists and it starts in your mind with what you're telling yourself about whatever it is anything at all I'm going to stop this here because I could go on forever I literally could talk about this forever this is like my jam this is just everything that I am interested in and like I love having these kinds of conversations I really really do even though I'm only having them with myself technically right now until you listen to this until this becomes you know something real in your world but I love having these conversations I am so passionate about this because I really believe that this is life-changing stuff like if you're willing to do the work if you're willing to question absolutely fucking everything about yourself and your life then you can create whatever you want you can be whoever you want and like that is just phenomenal think about that think about the power in that think about what you could move towards if you believed that to be true and I think that part of it starts with believing that where you are right now is exactly where you're meant to be and that everything that happens for you is happening for your highest good and that everything that unfolds is everything that happens is unfolding exactly as it's supposed to in order to move you to your next level in order to teach you the lesson that you are meant to learn in order to let's be honest probably help somebody right probably help somebody because if I don't go through that shit at my first university being atrociously bullied and abused by my partner by my boyfriend at the time then I'm not here having this conversation with you because if that doesn't happen to me I don't discover personal development that was where it all was kind of born out of was my own personal suffering can you imagine just that one incident well not really one but whatever that it was like a year and a half of my life so a year and a half and if that year and a half doesn't happen the next 10 years of my life unfold in a completely different way and in all honesty even if I'm I have a feeling that if I didn't walk the path that I'm walking and if I didn't choose to kind of build something on my own and work for myself and like take kind of what I think is maybe some in some ways the harder path I think that I probably would be married with kids on in a parallel universe if I don't get bullied and so on I think that I would have probably gotten married younger and I would have had kids and I'd be living in Canada and and even though I've talked previously on other episodes of the podcast and I've mentioned it even today about how like you know getting married would be nice having kids would be nice and so on and so forth there is no part of me that would trade what I have now for that reality ever ever I'm meant to be here having this conversation with you today I can feel it in my bones and I think that there's going to be magic that comes out of this and I hope that this podcast serves you deeply and I hope that you take the time really to tune in to yourself and ask yourself these questions and explore your world because you are everything you are everything and you are fucking worthy and you are so deserving and you are so enough and you need to pour your own love into you and I am over here pouring so much love into you and if you like this podcast please please please leave a review rate it just it means a lot to me and to know that I'm like reaching you and connecting with you in some way and hopefully having a positive impact on your life if you'd like to connect with me more you can find me on instagram at candice alacia or on my website at www. Candicealacia. Com yeah just have the best weekend have the best best time ever and I hope that we get to connect so yeah take care and see you on the next episode