Shri Nisargadatta Maharaj provides the highest teaching.
He says,
The seeker is he who is in search of himself.
Give up all questions except one.
Who am I?
After all,
The only fact you are sure of is that you are.
The I am is certain.
The I am this is not.
Close your eyes.
Take a breath.
Feel the air enter.
It has always been entering.
Exhale.
Feel the air leave.
It has always been leaving.
Notice something simple.
You did not create this breath.
It has been breathing you since before you had a name.
The breath does not belong to you.
You belong to the breath.
Today,
We ask that one question.
Not who am I?
That question has been answered a thousand different ways.
Today,
We ask who is asking?
So let's talk about how the mind works.
In neuroscience,
There is something called the salience network.
Its job is to decide what matters.
It scans everything you perceive,
Inside you and around you,
And flags what is important,
Such as threats,
Rewards,
Or something new.
Without it,
You would be overwhelmed.
You would notice everything and,
Therefore,
Notice nothing.
However,
This network is biased.
It evolved to notice difference.
It lights up when something is other,
Unexpected,
Unfamiliar.
This was important.
This kept our ancestors alive.
A rustle in the grass that is not the wind.
A shadow that is not a tree.
Otherness meant survival.
The salience network sees the world and asks,
What is not me?
What is threat?
What is other?
What do I need to approach or avoid?
This is the ego,
Not a thing.
A process.
A continuous scanning for difference.
Now,
Here is the interesting part.
Science gives us a glimpse of how this works in the brain.
But the brain itself and this network are still just things appearing within your awareness.
The awareness that is watching all of this.
That is something else entirely.
So,
You might be wondering,
What does this have to do with Holi or Radha?
Holi is the festival that silences this network.
Not by destroying it.
By flooding it.
When every face is covered in color,
The network cannot find a signal.
There is no so-called other to flag.
No threat to highlight.
There is only color.
Pattern.
Consciousness.
In this state,
You stop seeing the features of a face and start noticing the space in which the face appears.
You stop tracking the story of a separate self and rest in the awareness that holds all stories.
Now,
This is not just an idea.
It happened once in a story a long time ago.
After the play of Holi,
When the colors had dried and the laughter had softened to silence,
Radha walked to the edge of the courtyard.
She was alone.
Not lonely.
Just still.
Her face was covered in color.
Pink on her cheeks.
Blue on her forehead.
Yellow on her chin.
The girl known as Radha,
The fair one,
The beloved of Krishna,
Was no longer visible.
Only color remained.
Radha found a bronze mirror leaning against the wall.
She had looked into this mirror a thousand times.
Each time she had seen Radha,
She saw her fairness,
Her features,
Her identity.
But this time was different.
The colors hid her nose,
Her lips,
The curve of her jaw.
She could not find the girl she had spent her life being.
She saw only color.
Only pattern.
She did not panic.
She stood there.
She looked.
And then she smiled.
Because in that moment,
Something shifted.
The face she had been searching for.
The face Krishna loved.
The face poets praised.
The face she herself had praised and defended.
That face was not her.
It was simply the place where awareness had chosen to appear.
Some might say she finally realized she was the same awareness looking out of Krishna's eyes.
Others might say her love simply became so big that it swallowed all separation.
The love remained.
The so-called me who loved dissolved.
She looked into the mirror once again.
The face was still unrecognizable.
But the one looking at the face.
That one she recognized.
That one had never changed.
That one had never been born.
That one was simply aware.
She lowered the mirror.
She walked back into the courtyard.
Krishna was there.
His own face,
A canvas of color.
He looked at her.
And she looked back at him.
Neither spoke.
There was nothing left to seek.
So,
Let's see if we can try that.
Not as a story.
As a direct investigation.
Right now,
In your own experience.
So,
Take a few moments to readjust your posture,
If required.
And feel into your body.
Sit upright and soft.
Notice that your body is supported by the surface beneath you.
Notice how gravity holds you.
Now,
See if you can let go of any tension.
Or any holding.
Perhaps any holding at the shoulders.
Your forehead.
Your eyes.
Your cheekbones.
And your jaw.
See if you can completely relax your face.
Your shoulders.
Let go of any holding at the belly.
Just notice your breathing belly for a few moments.
Noticing how the belly inflates as you breathe in.
And how the belly deflates as you breathe out.
Now,
I invite you to feel your face from the inside.
Not what it looks like.
Just noticing the raw sensations.
Perhaps on the forehead.
Your eyes.
The cheeks.
Or the jaw.
Just noticing all the micro sensations.
Now,
Ask yourself,
Softly.
What is aware of these sensations?
Not who.
But what.
The mind will jump in and say,
It's me.
I'm aware.
That's just a thought.
Notice that even that thought is also something you are aware of.
Something knows that thought too.
What is that something?
Sensations come and go.
Tingling.
Warmth.
But the awareness of them?
Does it come and go?
Does it shift?
Or is it just here?
Don't search for it.
Searching takes you away.
Just notice it is already here.
Closer than your face.
Closer than your thoughts.
Rest here a moment.
Not doing anything.
Just being the one who notices.
Now,
Bring your attention to your hands.
Feel them.
Not visualizing.
Directly feeling the weight of the hand.
The temperature.
The texture.
Gently ask again.
What is aware of my hands?
Not what your hands feel.
What knows the feeling of your hands?
The mind might try to locate this awareness.
It might say,
It's behind my eyes.
Or in my head.
That's also just another sensation.
Another thought.
Don't go looking for a location.
Location is a concept.
Awareness is not in space.
Space is in awareness.
Just notice.
Now,
Listen.
Just for a moment.
Listen to the sounds around you.
Sounds far away.
Sounds in your room.
Maybe even your own heartbeat.
Also notice the silence between the sounds.
Now,
Inquire.
What is aware of hearing?
Sounds appear.
Sounds disappear.
Silence appears.
Silence disappears.
But that which knows them.
Does it appear and disappear?
There is nothing to figure out.
Just feel it.
The knowing of sound is more intimate than sound itself.
It has no shape.
No location.
Yet,
It is undeniable.
Feel that.
Not the sound.
The knowing of the sound.
Now,
Let's bring it all together.
Sensations.
Thoughts.
Sounds.
All of them come and go.
All of them change.
All of them are visitors.
Inquire one last time.
What is it that never comes and never goes?
The mind will go blank.
It will say,
I don't know.
Just rest in not knowing.
That not knowing is aware.
Feel it.
You are not what appears.
You are that in which everything appears.
You are not the weather.
You are the sky.
Now,
Slowly bring your awareness back to your face.
Feel it again.
The forehead.
The cheeks.
The jaw.
The sensations may have shifted from when we started.
They always do.
But the awareness noticing them?
Has that shifted?
Feel your breath.
The rise and fall.
The breath moves.
The awareness does not.
There is an old text called the Ashtavakra Gita.
It says,
You are not trapped by anything.
What looks like a trap is just a show.
Stop trying to be free.
You are already free.
You just forgot.
Radha forgot.
She spent her life being Radha.
Fair,
Loved,
Longing.
She forgot that underneath the longing,
She was simply aware.
Rest as that unnamed freedom.
Not clinging onto any thoughts or feelings or sensations.
Let them all come and go.
Rest as that eternal awareness that notices it all.
Now,
Very gently and slowly,
Open your eyes.
Just a soft gaze.
Look at the room.
The room appears.
The awareness of the room does not appear.
The room was always there.
The awareness is what makes appearing possible.
You are still you.
Your name,
Your history,
Your face.
All of that is still here.
But something is clearer now.
You are not just what appears.
You are that in which all appearance happens.
The face,
The identity,
The roles that you have spent your entire life protecting are not you.
It is a beautiful temporary arrangement on the surface of something much larger.
Something that has no surface.
No boundary.
No birth.
No death.
You are that.
