It's been a while since I last shared a talk with you.
I've had a few quiet years of inner work,
Change and becoming,
Which I'm going to talk about.
But before anything else,
I just want to begin with this.
And it's a thank you.
Truly,
Thank you.
So many of you continue to return to my meditations,
To leave heartfelt reviews,
To hold space for what I share.
I see your names again and again.
I notice your kindness,
Your presence and your encouragement.
You may not realise it,
But your words,
Your gentle support have given me the courage to keep going.
To write more boldly.
To dig more honestly.
To reach into the ache,
But also to discover the small,
Hidden smiles we forget how to look for.
Your kindness helps me find my voice again and again.
And I'll never take that for granted.
This talk is partly to express my gratitude,
But also to share something a little deeper with you.
A glimpse into why I create these meditations,
And why Insight Timer has come to mean so much to me.
Because it's given me something no other platform or place ever quite has.
It's given me you.
It's given me space.
It's given me a home.
The truth is,
My life hasn't always been easy.
In fact,
For more than half of it,
I've lived alongside the weight of mental illness.
Depression,
Anxiety and panic attacks.
They've come close to silencing me.
And there were times I truly didn't know if I'd find my way back.
And it may surprise you to know,
Especially those of you who've heard my meditations,
That for over a decade I've worked as a therapist.
I've worked alongside people on their journeys,
Through their pain and into healing.
I've held space for their wounds,
Their triumphs,
Their slow returns to themselves.
But in doing so,
I somehow forgot to hold the same space for me.
And as they travelled along their healing journey,
I was still battling with my own.
I didn't realise how unwell I'd become.
I didn't know how much I was abandoning myself.
Eventually,
After many years of pushing through like lots of us do,
Pretending and pouring out while barely refilling,
I went to see a doctor.
And that moment changed everything.
I was diagnosed with PMDD,
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder,
And not long after that,
ADHD.
Finally,
There was a name,
A reason,
A shape to the shadow I'd been trying so hard to ignore.
I began recovery,
And slowly,
The fog started to lift.
For the first time in what felt like forever,
I began to feel alive.
Not just surviving,
But living.
I could laugh again.
I could breathe again.
I could see colour returning to a life that had felt monochrome for far too long.
And although I had already been publishing meditations here,
Many written from the rawest,
Darkest parts of me,
Something began to shift.
I felt less afraid,
Less limited by fear and judgement.
Less tethered to the idea that I had to hold back.
Yes,
There are the occasional negative reviews.
That's part of putting your heart into the world.
But what stays with me,
What matters,
Are all of you.
Your beautiful,
Generous reflections.
Your stories,
Your pain,
Your courage.
I read them all.
I feel them.
Sometimes I cry,
Often I smile.
Sometimes your words find me on a hard day,
And lift me like wings.
So many of you have helped me heal,
Just by letting me be a part of your healing.
For the past two years,
I've been quieter on here,
Because I've been writing a book.
A book that asked me to sit with my own history,
To face the stories I had long buried.
It wasn't easy.
I met my own anger,
My own guilt and my own sadness.
But in the end,
Facing those feelings gave me something extraordinary.
It gave me freedom.
It taught me the beauty of stillness,
Even the awkward and uncomfortable kind.
It taught me that healing isn't a performance.
It's an arrival,
An unravelling,
A returning.
And somewhere in the middle of that stillness,
I found some peace.
Not because everything was perfect,
But because I finally stopped running from myself.
I stopped believing that I had to show up polished and pain free.
I allowed myself to arrive,
Messy and real.
I learnt that you can carry baggage and still be loved.
The wounds don't make you unworthy,
They make you human.
And that healing isn't about becoming someone new,
But about remembering who you've always been.
So from here,
My heart is set on continuing to offer meditations for you.
But also with you.
I'd love to invite you to share ideas with me in the comments below this talk.
What are you moving through?
What do you long to hear spoken to your soul?
Grief,
Sadness,
Anxiety,
Heartbreak?
Let me know what you need,
And I'll do my very best to meet you there.
My dream is to make this space on Insight Timer a place where you can always come when the world gets too loud.
When your heart feels heavy.
When you need reminding that you are not alone.
And that your softness,
Your sadness,
Your strength,
They all belong.
Thank you so much for being here with me.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your story.
And thank you,
From the deepest place in me,
For seeing mine.
And before I finish,
There's one thing I want to say.
Something I hope you carry with you always.
And that is you are not alone.
Not now.
Not here.
Not in this space.
If you've ever listened to one of my meditations,
In the quiet ache of the night,
Or through tears you didn't know how to name.
I want you to know this.
I made them for you.
I made them so you'd never have to walk through the dark,
Believing that no one sees you.
Because I see you.
Your pain.
Your courage.
Your exhaustion.
It matters.
You matter.
You are not too much.
You are not a burden.
And you are not broken or behind.
You are wanted.
You are worthy.
And you are loved.
Not for what you do,
But for who you are.
Even when it feels like everything is falling apart.
These meditations are more than my words.
They are my way of reaching out through the distance.
To hold your hand when you need it most.
To remind you that someone is thinking of you.
Someone cares.
Someone made space for you in their day.
So if no one has told you lately,
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm so glad you're you.
Please don't ever believe that you are alone in this world.
You are always welcome here,
In this space.
You are always held here.
And I will continue to create,
Speak and write.
Just so you never forget how deeply you are loved.
From my heart to yours.
Your hand in mine.
Shalom.
Namaste.
