Hello,
Beautiful humans.
In this video,
I want to share with you a practice that has made a massive impact in my life.
It's a practice I use whenever I am feeling triggered.
You know what I mean when I say triggered,
It's that emotional state when someone says something,
Someone doesn't say something,
Someone does something.
Something happens and our nervous system,
Our logic,
Our thinking seems to be hijacked.
We're in an emotional state where we sort of lose the present moment.
We lose what's here.
We lose our abilities to make smart decisions.
And the foundation of this practice is based in some people call it parts work.
Some people call it internal family systems,
Powerful,
Powerful modality,
IFS.
Some people call it inner child work.
I sort of discovered it,
I stumbled upon it almost accidentally when I started Started getting really into meditation,
Started getting really connected to sort of the spiritual elements of my life and my being.
And I started journaling.
And so I would,
Something would happen.
And I'd have this big triggered emotional experience and usually the next day.
I would start journaling.
And I would get curious around what just happened.
Was all of me triggered or was there one part of me that was triggered?
This is the distinction.
This one part of me versus the entirety of who I am being emotionally triggered.
Every single time when I investigated,
I realized there's just one part of me.
And sold it.
Curiosity led me to,
Let's learn more about this one part.
And so I would start my journal with.
.
.
You know,
Just like just comforting,
Calming statements like,
Hey.
I know you're going through an experience.
I know something's happening.
I just want you to know that the rest of me,
The rest of the parts of me are not having that experience.
And so we can be strong and solid here.
We can listen to you here and we have no interest in judging you or try to fix you because that's not what this is about.
And I would literally journal these things.
I don't want to fix you.
I don't want to judge you.
I just want to be here with you.
You,
Allow you to have that experience,
And let you know that the rest of us,
Different parts of me,
Are not having that experience.
And so I would just every time this happened,
I would open the lines of communication and often I would start with.
A question around like how old does this part feel?
If it's five years old,
If it's 10 years old,
If it's a 15 year old version of me,
You know,
These are different versions of ourselves,
Then I would communicate a little differently with that part.
So understanding the age helped a lot.
And I would just create dialogue.
I would just create connection.
I would just create compassion and space and love.
You know,
These other parts,
These younger parts,
Whatever you want to call it,
That are having an emotional experience.
It's not because they're broken.
It's not because there's something wrong with them.
They just need some love and attention.
And instead of being like,
Go away,
I'm going to ignore you and pretend like you don't exist.
If that was like an actual child,
That would be a really terrible thing to do.
And if we gave every bit of attention to that child and abandon the rest of the parts of us that want to do other things,
That would also be irresponsible to the family that is us.
And so it became,
Hey,
There's other parts of us that are having a different experience,
And we just want to talk to you and just see how you're doing.
Send you love and let you know.
We got your back.
We're here.
We love you.
We need you.
And that for me is a true power.
When we pull in these parts of us that sometimes are like banished or marginalized and we lovingly bring them into the fold.
That is true power,
Because when we can integrate the different parts of who we are and create alignment,
Then we're able to move forward with true momentum.
And so my takeaway for you is this.
If you're having a triggered experience,
If you're having an emotional experience,
You are human.
This is a part of the human process.
And A very simple,
Actionable thing you can do is ask yourself,
Is this all of me that is triggered?
Or is this one part of me that is having this experience?
And if that is true,
Then there are other parts of me that are actually grounded,
Are resourced,
Are thinking about the future.
And how do I take that energy?
And love upon this part so that we can bring them back in,
Create alignment,
Create integration,
And move forward with power.
I hope that practice helps you.
And I just want to say like,
It's normal.
We all experience it.
The goal isn't to stop having emotions.
That's ridiculous.
The goal isn't to get to a place where you never get triggered.
Probably also ridiculous.
The goal might be,
What if I could pull that energy back 10% faster?
What if I could pull that energy back and have 10% less emotional triggered experiences?
That 10% could change your life.
All right,
Thanks for listening.
My name's Darius and I will see you next time.
Bye.
