This is a guided meditation for creating calm and safety in a moment of experienced rejection.
As always,
I invite you to welcome in with soothing,
Self-avening touch,
A gentle moving hug from the shoulders down to the elbow,
Or imagine as though you're washing your hands under warm water as you rub your palms together.
This will deepen the experience and enhance the internal experience of safety through increasing levels of serotonin,
GABA,
As well as oxytocin.
Let's start with a gentle breath in slowly to a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And then easy exhale to a count of six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
And one.
Very good.
I'd like to invite you to find something or someone in your life,
Perhaps even yourself,
For which you experience compassion.
This could be a beloved friend or family member for whom you're able to hold space when they're in a moment of pain,
Perhaps a pet,
Or even if you rest a gentle hand on your heart space,
You're able to connect inwardly with a sense of compassion.
Once you've found that moment of compassion,
I invite you to intentionally connect with it.
Bring it front and center into your world and notice what is the color of your experience of compassion.
Soft pale blues or pinks,
Perhaps vibrant purples or yellows.
Notice what color your compassionate state embodies.
Gently deepening your relationship with that compassionate state,
Stay connected with the entity that you identify.
Once again,
Breathe in to a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And out to a count of six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
And one.
Very good.
In moments of experienced rejection or abandonment,
We often lose sight of compassion,
Of care,
And of kindness.
Our brain will take over throwing us into a state of fight or flight,
Even freeze,
Or perhaps a state of fawn where we will self-sacrifice and self-sabotage because rejection really feels like we're going to die.
If you've ever experienced that in your life,
I invite you to wrap yourself in a warm,
Gentle loving hug and gently breathe in that compassionate energy that you just identified.
Notice that in those moments,
Your brain is responding to the world around it from a state of threat.
Your brain really feels like something is going to hurt you,
And therefore,
Your brain generates deep distress and pain.
This is normal.
Just continue gently breathing in the self-compassion again to the count of four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And an easy release to a count of six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
I invite that compassion to settle deep into your belly,
Your core,
To expand up to your heart,
Even in moving through your shoulders,
To your arms,
Out to your fingertips.
We can imagine wrapping a warm,
Compassionate,
Gentle blanket around you,
A warm fuzzy of self-understanding and self-love.
Beautiful.
Now,
As you notice that experience of rejection,
That pain,
I invite you to imagine that you're able to hold it in your hands.
That it's not a critical part of you,
Just one small part of the beautiful entity that composes all of you.
And as you hold that experience in the palm of your hands,
What does it look like?
How old is it?
How long have you been carrying this around?
How long has your brain and your body learned to fly into a state of pain when you fear you're going to be hurt?
How long ago did that learning happen?
How emotional worlds,
Especially our heavenly ones,
Are tied to different ages and experiences of our life?
How old is this part of you?
I invite you now to put that sense of painful rejection down on a table in front of you or on the ground.
We're going to start walking away from it,
Allowing it to grow smaller as we move away.
Let's take 10 gentle steps just to create some space.
As you walk,
Notice the experience of your heel touching the ground and your toe lifting you up as you move to take the next step.
As you continue walking and counting gently in your own mind,
Notice that you're moving towards your experience of compassion.
It's a beautiful orb there waiting for you to embrace you and to coach you.
Once your 10 steps away,
I need to turn back around and notice that experience of painful rejection there on its own,
An entity that needs love and care,
But not a part of you that has the power to hurt you,
To kill you.
Invite your little fearful survival-based friend,
Amy the Amygdala,
To notice that this experience of rejection,
It's all the way over there.
It doesn't have any power.
It's simply a feeling and feelings change and shift.
They're designed to help give us information so that we can live our best life and keep moving forward one foot in front of the other.
Let's welcome in another gentle breath.
As you inhale this time,
I invite you to ponder what feeling state would you like instead when a moment of possible rejection arises.
And then two,
Three,
Four,
And a gentle pause and release,
Six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
And one.
Beautiful.
And again,
Checking in with your mind and your body,
Welcoming that warm fuzzy blanket of compassion.
How would you like to feel the next time a flare warning goes off that has that experience of rejection popping up and causing pain?
Would you like to be able to connect more deeply to the sense of compassion you've been cultivating?
Would you like a sense of strength or worthiness,
Perhaps courage to learn more about what's happening in the moment or bravery?
Whatever answer comes to you,
That is the perfect answer for you.
You are the expert on your world and your life.
As you found that new experience that you want more of,
Notice what that energy might feel like in your mind and your body.
Have you felt it before?
Or is there somebody in your world who reminds you of this experience?
And find that anchor for what this feels like and looks like.
Gently breathing in this new preferred energetic state,
Ask yourself that curiosity generating question,
What if?
And invite your mind to explore the possibilities of feeling this way in the future.
What if I was strong?
What if I was safe?
Repeat your chosen state five times,
Completing that what if inquiry with it.
What if I was?
What if?
What if I was just so you flow?
And once you've completed that exercise,
What color is your preferred state?
It's a color you've seen on your life's journeys out in nature and the world around you.
What does it smell like?
Holy pine,
Lemony citrus,
Sweet sense of chamomile.
As you notice this preferred state and its beautiful scent,
Let's breathe in again to count of four,
Welcoming it in four,
Three,
Two,
One and release six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two and one.
Beautiful.
And notice as you once again turn your attention back to that preferred state,
Do you feel like you can feel this way?
I can be courageous.
I can be safe,
Whatever it might be.
Now once again shift your attention back to that experience of rejection and invite this preferred chosen energy to flow towards it and even wrap itself around it,
A new part of you merging with this old part that's been there for so long,
Keeping you safe through fear and pain and inviting that part of you to welcome in a new opportunity for self-healing to experience what it might be like to instead connect to courage or strength,
To align with compassion and to have self-understanding for why it's here and to help your system settle and be calm and help your mind stay true and connected to your worth and your value.
The next time your little amygdala waves a flag and says,
I think we're going to be rejected.
As always,
The more you practice cultivating these preferred states,
Connecting with these anchors,
The colors and the scents and these labels,
These identifiers that you've given them,
The stronger these neural networks will become.
You're literally building the brain that you get to choose to navigate the world within.
Happy healing.
It's an honor being a part of your journey.
