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by Eli Jaxon-Bear

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Satsang with Eli Jaxon-Bear

Meet your Teacher

Ashland, Oregon, United States

Meet your Teacher

Ashland, Oregon, United States

Transcript

You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You Everyone creative visualization first came into this culture in the 70s with Then Shakti spoke was the first one Was about creating your reality. It was the first You can create your reality Now, Of course, We've evolved to where you co-created. God will do what I want. That's mainly what prayer is. Someone asked me, Someone's doing a book on how do you pray, They asked me about prayer. You know, Consider what is prayer mainly? Prayer is, Please do this for me. Even if it's, Please heal this person. You know? I mean, How many people will say, Oh, I'm praying for God to heal you of your. . . Well, Why does God have to listen to you to do it? It's like, Hello? But most people aren't that altruistic, It's not about praying to God to heal you, It's about praying to God to do it for me. And I can relate to that. I never prayed much when I was growing up, I didn't believe in anything to pray to, And didn't see any reason for it. But I do remember the first time, This person, You know, Asked me about prayer. The first time I prayed was when I was arrested in 1971, I was 24, And I was a federal fugitive, And I was afraid of them finding that out while I was in jail. And I prayed for help. I don't know if it was God or not, But I really need help. And my prayers were answered. Yeah, So your prayers do get answered. And so generally we pray for help. But if you're willing to find the help that's here already now, Then you find you're in gratitude, Gratitude for the help that's already here. Then your prayer becomes a prayer of gratitude. Then your life becomes a life of gratitude. And if your life is a life of gratitude, There's nothing to get, There's nothing to fix, There's no need for this connection of me and mine, Telling you about it and listening to yours. Because you're already fulfilled. And you become the food of silence instead of the food of conversation. Because we're all energetically involved in each other, We're washing in each other's waves. And so what are you washing up? What are you putting into the world? If it's gratitude, Everyone loves gratitude. Who can fight with gratitude? If it's me and mine, Then it's searching for love instead of being love. So that's what I found at Mix today, That's my report, What's yours? Hi, I'm Alan. Hello, Nice to meet you. Good to meet you. I'm here, Well, Top layer down, I'm here because Barbara invited me. I find when I, I've come to this place and seen you once a few years ago, And I'm moved towards the truth by what you say. I appreciate that. And I'm me, The second boss is searching to be freed of whatever personal chaos I still have going on in my mind. So to be free of the personal chaos, You want that? Yes. What are you not willing to give? That's a good question. Maybe not willing to give away some attitude that I have. What if you did? I would feel defenseless. Yes, And if you're defenseless then what? Then others' bad attitudes are going to make me feel sad. So it's a protection against others' bad attitudes. That's what it seems like. Is it working? No. Can you help it work? Yes, Actually. Give up all defenses. Like in this moment if there's no defense, You're open to others' bad attitudes and everything else in the world. I plan to do that, Hopefully very soon. So let's make believe this is now, This is the future that you're hoping for. It's here now. So if you stop, I feel like I can do it. So the one who feels that way stops more deeply. Just nothing to do. All the doing is finished. And what's left? Just feeling my heart. Okay, Good. And then turn the attention from feeling your heart to the one who feels and what's there? Can you say that again, Please? Yes, Right now you're feeling your heart. Turn the attention away from feeling something and towards the one who is feeling. What do you find? Awareness of a lot of life, A lot of love. Yes. So then if you turn your attention fully to awareness of life and love. Yeah, Doesn't feel like I have to defend against it. Beautiful. And you can stay true to yourself. Being defenseless. Thank you. Thank you, I'm glad to hear it. Thank you. I'm happy you're here. Thank you. Me too. Thank you very much. So we live in unexamined assumptions about ourselves and about the world. Just like this assumption of, You know, I've got to protect myself against the negativity. I've got to protect myself against the hostility. That's an assumption. It's a belief. It goes unexamined. And it's based on deeper assumptions and beliefs that go unexamined. And then when you just tell the truth about them and you examine them, You see it's working. It's functional. If your life is functional, It's working, You're happy, No problem. If it's not broken, Don't fix it. And if you uncover it and you see what's real, You can stop. And the stop takes a certain amount of discipline. It's becoming a disciple of stopping instead of a disciple of your story. All clear? Yes, Please. Come up. So recently everything has come to a complete stop for me. What does that mean? I first lost my yummy job. Now I'm losing my house. That's not a complete stop. That has nothing to do with stopping actually. Oh, Really? Really. People lose their jobs, Their house, Their fortune, Their lovers, Their children, All the time. That's not stopping. It felt like it was the end and then there's some beginning surrounding it. That's true. There will be an end and a new beginning. That's why it's not stopping. There's movement. There's life. There's breath. There's movement. And I just want to stay in the love. Well then stop. And don't call what you're doing, Stop it. It became rather vacuous in my place. Good. And then it feels like it might be decision making time. That's in your head. Well, So that's my question. You said you wanted to stay true to love. Right. Love is not the one in your head talking about decisions. Well, It takes a lot for me to have a quiet heart around all of this. That's called stopping. It's called stopping? Yes. Having a quiet heart. That's stopping. And your heart is already quiet. It's your head that won't stop. Just taking conscious breath and trusting. Yeah, That's all just New Age religion. Well, I'm looking for tools. Yes, That's the problem you see. Right. Because the one who wants tools is the frightened one who wants to be in control living in your head who's trying to figure out what to do. And wanting to be home. Home is already here. You can't have any tools to get there. It's the giving up of your tools. It's the giving up of the one who wants to do it. That's stopping. And you find you're already home. Right. Your right is, That's bullshit. That's just your head talking. That feels right. It is right. But you can't, Don't think it, Be it. And there's really nowhere to go, Huh? Let's stop it. It implies to me a tremendous trust in the inner workings of things. What are you trusting now? Just the breath. Well, Is breath trustworthy? The life and the love that I see around me. Exactly. You really trust it? And if that's the truth, Then what's the problem? There's this feeling that keeps coming up. I don't know if it's just my head. It is. But it puts me in hell. I'm in the hell realms recently and really in a lot of anguish. And it's bringing up maybe trauma and pictures and dreams that are tormenting of loss. Holding loved ones who are dying. You're scaring yourself, Right? Yeah, It's rather scary. Right. That's how you spend your life, Scaring yourself. And now it's crashing. And there's a chance here, There's a chance to actually meet the fears that you've been afraid of and you've now brought into your life so that you can experience. So fear is an old friend. Fear has been running your life your whole life. If it was your friend, You wouldn't be running from it. You'd actually be invited. I feel like I'm having tea with it, Daily. What does that mean? That you're like open and in love with it and invited in? No, But the pictures are being released constantly. So right now, If you invite all the fear, Invite it, Welcome it. The fear that's been here your whole life that you've run from. The fear of being crazy. The fear of losing everything. The fear of not knowing what to do. The fear of failing. The fear of being lost. Just invite it, Welcome it, And then meet it, Be it. Don't have tea with it, Be one with it. This is an experiment. As if I want to meet it and I don't know how. That's right. This know how is really stopping. It's already here waiting for you. So if you stop in this moment and just open your heart and invite it, What's your experience in that moment? There's nothing there, Right? Except my pulse is really rapid. But other than that, No. When you welcome it, It's not scary. It's actually hard to find it because it feels like it's based in the past. Exactly right. And it's pictures that are really not in this moment. That's right. All of that is a self-imposed hypnosis. It's based in the past. Made up pictures, Scary feelings. You do that to yourself. Stuff going wrong. Yeah. So you don't have to do that to yourself anymore. Instead you can. . . Instead. . . Yeah, It's very good news. And the way to stop doing that to yourself is to welcome the fear. Welcome it. Because as you said, In that moment it's not there. Because it needs the past and the pictures in order to be. . . Have the experience of it. My question was really more about decision making. That's all in your head. They're both wrong. All those choices. If you stay true to your heart, Things unfold quite naturally. Like flowers? No. Like nothing you've never known. It's unknown. No pictures, No thoughts, No ideas of how it's going to be. It's unknown. I like being in the not knowing. That's refreshing. And I have felt recently like the adventure is a good thing. I just really want to stay in the love so those are new. And I feel new every moment. People say, What's up? What's new? Everything. And maybe this is what it feels like to be a child and be new. And I have everything that I need. But I have nothing. Absolutely nothing. To me home is so important and I have no idea where home is. I guess it's just in this moment being willing to be, To abide in the divine and not worry. But it's definitely a question of where to place myself on this planet. First find yourself and you'll know the answer. I always wonder if there's time for me to find myself. I have to be out by the first, You know. That's the way you're wasting it. I have been running from everything. And now I feel like running even from you. I understand. It's scary. The whole world is scary. And it's been running your life. So now there's a chance to stop running. That's called stopping. When you came up here you told me everything is stopped. And you know why you said that? Because the spiritual trance of stopping, It's like everybody's in the now now. All of a sudden everybody's just here now. People pick up the latest trance, Spiritual philosophy, Spiritual ideal, And integrate it into our story of ourselves. What else is there to do? Be still. Yes. Thank you. You're very welcome. Best of luck with it. You have to be willing to overhear yourself, To overhear your own story that you're telling yourself so that you can bust yourself. So to overhear yourself you have to be willing to just not take it personally for a moment. Just hear it as if you're hearing someone else. Like what? What? What is being said here? What is being. . . What's the ideation? What's the bubble here? Where is it all? What's going on? Just tell the truth to yourself. But if we don't overhear it then we're just lost in the telling of it. And then you find it loops. The story starts over again. It just keeps looping around. That's a clue, But maybe it's not fresh. But to catch the clue you have to overhear yourself. You have to notice, Oh, I just said that ten minutes ago. I mean, Whoa, I'm back where I started. It's just looping the same thing over again. Yes. So nice to sit with you. Oh, It's good to see you, Steve. So it's really curious that you come in with your coffee story this morning. Because for the first time in a long time that was my activity this morning. And to go to those places and, Wow, This is different. It's not my usual way. And of course your discussion of all this energy going elsewhere. And I find myself in a place of roles, My roles disappearing, Many roles disappearing. Some new roles coming. I have the peace and I have the life. I have the peace and the life. And I have the wanting and I also have the losing. And then there are moments of, I want that back. I need to search for it somewhere else. That was my search this morning. So it's like a madness that comes and goes. If it's madness, I don't know. It's kind of delicious in many ways. One, I can let go of it. Yes. And I wanted to mention about if the tape runs again, The tape is even more scary when you hear it from someone else. You know, The same kind of syndrome that I've played with another being, I hear from them because I don't even see it. Right. Yeah. It's all done in mirrors. Yeah. So I suppose my question is, You know, How to stay true even in the life. I mean, The times of madness get shorter and shorter. And, You know, There's the Sufi chants and there's, You know, The sitting. That's it, I suppose. The breath. And there's nothing to do. When I found with myself, I had taken myself as far as I could go. At a certain level I was teaching and when I was teaching, There was nothing going on. There was no desire, There was no mind, There was no me. Just spaciousness that would inform itself. But when I finished teaching, I'd get up, I'd pick up my shoes at the door, And I'd pick up my story. And my partner and I both found this. So that's when I had to go find my teacher. I had to find someone more awake than I was that could cut it. And then when I found my teacher, I was so lucky to have found the teacher, I put myself at his feet and I'm still at his feet. And when I see the ones who get up from his feet, Then say, Oh, I'll do it myself. Or, Now I want, I'm going to do it my way, Or now it's time for me to. And those are the ones that go mad. I'm sure you remember, Dhafrijaan, Baba Frijaan, He gave himself all kinds of names on and on. He started out with Muktananda. But then it was like, I'm going to do it myself, I'm the one, I'm the chosen one. And you could see the egoic madness of being the chosen one. So we do that on a much smaller scale. Not that I'm the chosen one, Not that I'm the avatar, You know, I'm just me doing my thing. The same thing. One's more inflated, One's more deflated, But it's the same thing. So I'm aware my mind wants to give it a name and I'm thinking, Are we talking about surrender? Yes, Surrender. That's the great paradox that in surrender is freedom. Thank you. Thank you so much. Good to see you. As long as there's no surrender, There's always someone in charge. An inflated one or a deflated one, A successful one or a failure one. But somebody in charge doing it. And that's the suffering. It's not real. There's no one in charge. It's a delusion. And if we're living delusionally, We're not happy. So to wake up from the fever of the delusion, It's like a passing flush of fever. So I think there's a delusion. To wake up from it, Oh, Clarity. Surrender. Yes, Please. Hi. I was just watching my response, Feeling light and good when you mentioned the teaching part. And it snagged and I watched an immediate fear response. I don't consider I have a teacher. I had a teacher and it was a cult kind of guy. Good one. So getting out of that experience was the beginning of something more real, And yet that was a profound experience. So I snagged. There was a snag when you said you have to have a teacher. And my experience is, So I'm checking it out. Wanting greater clarity. What are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? What's the snag? The snag there was not having a teacher. So I just raised that. Good one. What do you do? What's your thing? What's my thing? I teach. I like Bob Oak. I hope not. I use a process called heart circles. I encourage people to get together and let the circle teach. Where did that come from? I have a teacher. I have a good teacher. Yes, There is only one. I think I have a good teacher. Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I was so excited about coming today. So the question is, How do you stay true to your teacher and how do you betray your teacher? I forget my teacher. Because I'm doing it. Thank you. You're welcome. Good. Good. Hello. Hi. Hmm. I'm curious about how I identify. How I am able to embrace what seems like an intense sorrow in letting go. Sorrow in letting go of what? There is this feeling that in letting go of everything and being with the feeling in the heart. Is that included in everything? Yes. Yes, I guess there ends up being an objective there to a goal, A desire to be with the heart. Yes. There is somebody doing something to get something. That's how we trick ourselves. So what do you want? Truth. Beautiful. So if the truth is here now, Everything can stop. Your search is over. So really, Is truth here now? Where will you find it? Oh yes, It's here now. Beautiful. Your search is over. Stop here. If you give yourself the truth, Pour yourself into truth, What's at the bottom? The question is what's at the bottom? Truth. Yes. How beautiful. Yes. Thank you. Oh, Beautiful. Thank you so much. So when people say I'm just being in the moment or I'm just being here now or I'm just being with what shows up, That's not it. That's someone, Somewhere, With something. To be here now, You give up not only the past and the future but also here, Because here is already past, Past, It's already past, So don't touch here or there. It's not future or past, Not present even, Before all that. Then you are as you are. Then you are pointing towards reality instead of the illusion. It's phenomenal appearance. What's it made of? Where does it come from? Where does it go to? What's, If you look at it closely enough, It disappears. We know that intellectually, Scientifically, Theoretically, But you have to know it actually, Factually, Practically. But it won't disappear as long as you're giving your life to making it real. As long as you're pouring yourself out through your senses to your sense objects as if that's reality, My heartbeat, My breath, My life, Alive, And all that. It's just looking in the wrong direction. So if you take away the energy from all the sense objects, By the sense objects I mean everything that comes through the senses, Everything you can see, Hear, Taste, Smell, Think, Take away your attention from all that. Then it can rest back in reality, What's here prior to sense objects. Without sense objects, What's reality? Who are you and where are you? That's being here now. All the rest is using the concept of being here now to somehow manipulate the appearance as if it's reality. It's my reality. It's my world. Then I will bring emptiness and love into it. I will transform it. Can you speak to the emotions? Are they sense objects? Aren't they? They seem surreal. They seem surreal because we give our consciousness to them. Just like the body seems surreal. The breath seems surreal. It all seems surreal because we inhabit it and give it our life as consciousness. Withdraw consciousness from it and see how real it is. Just an experiment. Papaji says just for an instant, Tenth of a, Hundredth of a second, Just stop. Take your all fully, Take your awareness away from the sense objects for just a moment. Then you have a choice. Before that there is no choice because it's all a continuation of a relationship with the sense objects, With me and mine. It's me and my feelings, Or me and my world, Me and my family, Me and my spirituality, Me and God. In an instant what you discover is what is formless and timeless and always you, Always you. Consciousness as consciousness, Unformed, Timeless, Spaceless, Intelligent love. You inhabit your own creation. You inhabit your own projection. We inhabit our own this. And that's the test, That's where the edge is. How to stay true to myself in the midst of the appearance of myself. How do I know what's real? What's real, What's trustworthy, Is what doesn't come and go, What doesn't change. Emotions come and go, They change. Bodies change. What doesn't come and go, What doesn't change, That's trustworthy. That's where you give your allegiance. That's where you put your attention. That's what you love. And the more you love yourself and the truth of yourself as that, The more you're fulfilled, The more you fill yourself. And the more you search for yourself through your stories and identifications and personalities and identities, The more you lose yourself. And then that becomes spiritualized with a belief system that allows it to be okay. Whatever that is, We're all one anyway, Or this matter is just a story, Or it's all empty, Or I'm just being here now, Or it's just what shows up. Whatever the rationalization or the spiritual overlay is to comfort the terrified mind when faced with the enormity of the unknown. Any form doesn't matter, Forms are all empty. It's whatever they're infused with. So you call it shamanic work, You call it meditation, You call it Sufi dancing. It's empty. Meditation, Satsang, Whatever you call it, It's empty. Then what pours through that form? That's the point. But you know, You go to a Zen temple and everybody's chanting form is emptiness, Emptiness is form. And chanting it every day for years and years and years, And it makes no impact on the daily life. Because it's a belief. It's a concept. So even though it's true, It's a lie. Because it's being held as a chant, As a prayer, As a concept, As something to move towards, Or something to achieve, Or something to believe in. This is beyond belief. You have to leave all your beliefs at the door, All your concepts, All ideas, Every one. You enter naked and alone, Free of concept, Free of belief, Free of ideas. You enter into your purity of your own heart, The purity of the unknown. Because even calling it your own heart then is a concept. So what can't be named, What is so? You know, It's like these people that mix today are living in such a small little bubble as a way to keep out the horror of just our world, The horror of the world we're living in. Right now nuclear reactors blowing up, And people being destroyed in tidal waves before they know it's coming, And earthquakes, And destruction, And being shot at, And blown up, And bombed, And raped. It's all going on in this moment, And it's so overwhelming, So overwhelming that we cocoon ourselves to some degree. That's quite natural as an animal. But the overwhelmingly of what's even beyond this world, What's bigger than this world, What's beyond, That's overwhelming, That's huge, That's beyond belief. And that's the entryway, That's the gateway. So this is where surrender happens. Surrender happens at this threshold of the unknown. That's where you lay down all your tools, All your techniques, All your beliefs, All your prayers, All your doing. And you give yourself to yourself, In deepest sense. And you miraculously turn inside out, Right side up. You know who you are, You know what you are, You know what the appearance is. And then your roles appear and disappear. And you play them. Whatever role appears, You play it fully. Disappears? Don't worry about it. You welcome what comes and leave what goes. And we all play roles. As long as we're in form or incarnate, There are roles to be played. You take them personally, You identify them as yourself, And you suffer. So we're here for the end of suffering. For love and reality. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Thank you. May all beings be happy and free. Thank you. Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd. All Rights Reserved. No part of this recording may be reproduced without Mooji Media Ltd. 's express consent. No part of this recording may be reproduced without Mooji Media Ltd. 's express consent.