Adapting from a system developed by Eugene Gendlin,
The session today is designed to help you find a different way to work through your problems while in a very light meditative state.
The mind-body connection is becoming more widely recognized.
So the body holds the emotions about stress and problems,
And then it becomes so easy to become caught up in what some people call the monkey mind.
We're overanalyzing with the problem-sarbling part of our brain.
We can then send our mind into a wild goose chase,
Blaming ourselves,
Awash in guilt and fear,
And then either angrily chafing at this problem or those involved with it,
Or alternatively seeking to escape into addictive patterns with food or drugs or drink or gambling or overspending.
This approach today allows one to get at what is called a felt sense of the whole problem with its many facets,
And then approaching it,
Those many facets and the emotions involved,
To get a little space from it.
And then to gradually develop some peace with it and maybe get a general direction to go at it,
Gradually,
Over time.
And then move forward to take some concrete steps as the vision of the way forward becomes more clear.
This may be a way for you to allow that right brain,
The seed to the subconscious awareness,
To be involved in getting a path which is right for you.
So,
To begin,
It's now time to clear a space and settle in.
Just close your eyes and get quiet.
Deliberate now on,
How do I feel right now?
What's coming up for me?
Take some time with this.
What's hurting me?
What's nagging at me?
Just why don't I feel wonderful right now?
Maybe there's a tenseness inside.
Maybe there's really a list of things behind this tense feeling.
Many people have a list of five or six things here.
Some are really big.
Some could be trivial.
Take a moment and allow this list to come or flow to you.
Take some time here as this comes up.
What's coming in?
What's on this list?
You can take your time with this.
And imagine now that you're going to make a stack from this list,
Putting it up in front of you,
In your mind's eye,
Gently,
But in a friendly way.
This list.
Friendly to yourself.
Friendly to the list.
Stack it up.
Step back from this list.
See it there?
Give it some space.
View this list from a distance.
Nothing to do here.
Nothing to solve right here,
Right now.
No.
You might even want to smile a bit.
Well,
Except for all these,
I'm really just fine.
That little one over there,
That might even be just a little funny.
Some big,
Some small.
Wow,
Look at that.
They're all over there for now.
They're over there.
Maybe this creates just a little space for you here now.
Maybe you want to move that stack a little.
Give it even more space.
Sit with it.
Excellent.
Now,
We're going to move in to try to gain a felt sense of this problem.
Ask yourself which problem,
Or part of the problem,
Feels the worst right now.
Which one feels the most painful?
The stickiest?
The most tense?
The one that feels bad to you,
The worst?
Once you have it,
Step back from that problem now for a moment.
And think of that problem as a whole now.
The whole thing.
Stepping back from it.
How does that problem make you feel inside?
Don't answer this one in words.
Just think how it feels in your body.
Is the body tense?
Is that feeling heavy?
Is it prickly?
Is it sharp?
Is it hard?
Don't blame yourself right here.
Don't lecture yourself.
Or anyone else.
Just try to step back and get the feel of the whole of it.
The feel of that in your body.
Slow down any chatter that's happening in your mind.
Things like,
I'm repeating this pattern in my life over and over again.
I'm screwing up again.
If that comes up,
Just say to yourself,
Not now.
I'm not going down that pathway right now.
Just try to get to what does this whole thing feel like.
What's the feeling of all that?
All that.
Give yourself space and time here.
Do not try to solve it now.
Do not decide anything now.
Just work at getting the sense of it.
It might even be a murky,
Fuzzy feeling.
Sit with that for a while.
Maybe that uncomfortable nothingness of this problem.
Or the somethingness of that problem.
Try to go here for a grasp of the whole problem.
Some people do better with a visual.
Imagine you can see that whole thing as if it's painted on a very large mural.
On a very wide wall.
Just get the whole of it.
How it feels.
No mind chatter here.
No blame.
Just be with it.
A large view.
An overall sensing.
It could be that you could notice feelings at each part of this mural.
This whole picture.
The all of that that it is.
Then it's time to go a little deeper into this felt sense of this problem.
Is this really?
Add a few words more to better describe this feeling.
Hard.
Sticky.
Jumpy and tense.
Heavy.
Is it so heavy it's slowing you down?
Is it scared and tight?
Or slippery and elusive?
Is it something else?
Is this feeling oppressive?
Allow the feeling to happen.
Don't force it.
Let it flow towards you.
What it feels like.
Try a word until you get it.
That it's the right word that fits for you.
Have its own essence.
Like for example a sticky feeling over there.
What is this whole thing?
Try not to be afraid of the feeling here actually.
Emotions are not things that are static there in our minds.
Feelings come and feelings go.
They are a part of the process of our being.
Try to feel this until you notice perhaps a subtle shift in your body.
It's like a handle on it.
Like that's it.
That's it.
Now if your feelings are rushing in,
Slow yourself down.
Take one at a time.
Notice what they are.
Could actually be that the feeling is blank.
Like nothingness.
Like being stuck.
Something like that means that your feeling is empty or blank or stuck.
Try to look for a subtle shift in your body now.
Once you have it.
This very subtle shift in your body lets you know you are getting closer to identifying it.
And as that happens,
It begins to create a slight shift in your body.
You are still not solving this problem.
You are getting closer to what it is affecting in you.
Getting this handle is like beginning to get a grasp at a new level.
A closer understanding.
With that a whole view of the whole thing.
This is the feeling of the whole thing.
Maybe many emotions are embedded there but it's a felt sense of the whole thing.
And as you notice yourself starting to get to this,
Allow your body to perhaps take even a greater shift.
You might just exhale and say whew.
Or you could just let your body melt.
Like as if you are sending a wave of relaxation from the top of your head down through your fingers and your toes.
And then when you feel ready,
Ask yourself what about this troubles me the most?
What's the worst about this?
What needs to happen for me with this?
What would it take to feel better?
What would it take for me to not feel this way?
Then you might take a few more moments to focus on what it might feel like in my body if I did not feel this way.
What would that feel like in my body if I didn't feel this way?
Allow yourself to easily,
Lightly try out how it feels to feel this way.
What it might be like to not feel that way.
Imagine for a few moments,
Imagine like you used to do maybe when you were a little child playing a pretend game.
No analyzing,
Just a gentle asking.
Not a forcing.
It's like a quiet invitation to the self to just try this out for a few brief moments.
What it would be like if I didn't feel that way,
That feeling of all that.
Now if it doesn't come exactly,
That's alright.
It could come with a little more practice.
And if you notice that you have this feeling,
But it won't let you hold this feeling and keep on holding it.
You could ask yourself,
What says no?
Keep on noticing.
Just noticing.
Staying open,
Friendly,
Gentle with yourself here.
Allowing yourself to come back to this at some point.
That feeling of what it might feel like even if no outward change has exactly happened yet.
And hear that.
Going gently,
Friendly,
A little more inward.
A space in time.
Just here now,
Ask this felt sense,
That handle that you have,
What it really is.
Meaning have a little conversation with this felt sense.
This handle that you now have on this feeling.
What are you saying to it?
What would you like to say to it?
Let's hit saying back to you.
Use your imagination here.
What would you like to say back?
Is there an idea?
Not a random thought?
Maybe having a little more space here?
The slightest greater sense of this whole thing?
There's just a space here,
Perhaps.
To begin to view things a little differently.
To open up to more possibilities.
More space.
It may even evolve that there's a shift and a renewal.
A way of moving forward,
Not revealed to you before.
You can leave this open here.
Rest with it.
Knowing you can come back to it.
To focusing.
More will come to you in time.
As you continue to shift over time.
Stay friendly and open to this sense of the situation.
And you may notice it's an ongoing thing bringing you even greater clarity.
Maybe a new aspect,
A part of this that bears deeper consideration.
Something that didn't come up before.
Maybe able to move forward more.
Maybe a little less stuck.
Maybe a little more space.
As always,
Easy does it,
Be gentle with yourself.
Remain poised.
Nudge at this one more day.
Another day.
Another round.
Another time.
Rest easy now with what has come to you in this space.
As you gently find your way back.
Eyes open and back.
