There's a lot going on inside when it comes to relationships.
It's normal to think of who will stick with you and who may turn away.
I've been abandoned before and the feelings from that time,
I just don't want to go back there.
It's made it hard.
So many times,
My fear of being abandoned and alone put me on a path that led to pain and more pain.
Some people I never gave them a fair chance.
I was too afraid of getting hurt.
I was too afraid of being alone.
And now,
I'm searching for a way out of this.
A way to carry less fear.
To stand and look at the thoughts that I've believed that had very little truth in them.
Sometimes none.
I think of how I've transferred the past into the present.
I reflect on how I was fiercely protective of myself.
To be sure I wasn't going to be rejected,
Disappointed,
Or abandoned.
I feel the feelings.
I explore the feelings.
I identify the feelings.
I'm beginning to see when I feel distressed and the choices that I make from there.
I'm seeing where I've sabotaged relationships.
That led to,
I'm understanding where I've held some pretty unreasonable expectations.
What that led to.
I'm seeing where I comforted myself through the lens and familiarity of the past.
And now,
When my emotions are screaming in fear,
I can assess what's in front of me,
And how I can get myself to the present moment,
And give myself a sense of safety.
And what is safe here that I've labeled unsafe?
How can I stay in my ability to stay the course of a relationship?
As I nurture myself,
As I soothe myself,
As I care for myself,
As I experience all my emotions,
Reactions,
And sensations.
What am I doing with my warning signs now?
How do I manage my relationships soberly and lovingly?
I am comfortable and courageous as I face this fear.
I am worthy of being loved,
Valued,
And appreciated.
I am showing up with the voice of self-love and self-acceptance.
I am sorting through what is the past,
What is present,
And what is both.
I am learning to feel the fear of abandonment,
And respond from a place of witnessing this feeling.
I uncover the beliefs that surround it,
And give myself some different beliefs to consider,
To work with,
To befriend.
I am shifting from a fear of abandonment to an openness to love.
I am shifting from a fear of abandonment to an openness to love.
