The caliber of my meditation experience is developing,
But I'd observe great
resistance to writing down my feelings.
I am attached to the thought that people
may read what I write and judge me for it.
I see I am writing for an audience
and it's drudgery.
I want to practice with 100% honesty and simplicity.
How can
I embrace sharing practice and not just put up with it?
First,
Don't share.
However,
The level of your learning is going to decrease accordingly.
If you don't share,
You will not be able to learn.
If you don't share,
You will not be able to learn.
So you have to deal with that loss.
However,
If you want to maximize the breadth and the depth of your training
and practice,
It's better for you to participate in sharing.
Sharing is not about somebody else.
It's not about an audience.
You are just kind of sharing your honest feelings.
You find this difficult and a drudgery because you think you are doing this
for an audience.
If you expose your kind of impressions honestly,
They will themselves kind of react honestly as well to your honesty.
So if you feel as if you are being judged through your honest sharing,
Underlying there is an assumption or desire to want to look good
or to not want to look bad when you share something.
Or you want to hide something from others.
So instead of going through all that,
You just need to approach this
with the attitude of being fully transparent and open.
Without any kind of desire to be seen looking good by others,
Getting good judgments.
Because sharing is a practice of literally sharing,
Not judging.
However,
There are a few things that you should not expose
in a public place like this.
There are certain parameters to being how to be transparent
in such an open setting.
So although you think this is honesty,
There are things that you should
refrain from speaking out loud about your sexual desires or whatnot
because it may make others uncomfortable.
You may want to insult or curse or use colorful language.
However,
You should refrain from doing so because once again,
It may make others uncomfortable.
So there are certain general rough guidelines or parameters
that you should follow,
Kind of refrain yourself from expressing.
Besides these parameters,
However,
The more you can be honest and transparent,
It will help you to kind of relieve your frustrations
and free yourself from suffering.
However,
If you still feel uncomfortable,
Then you have no choice but to refrain from actual sharing practice itself.
They actually tell me that the most difficult part of Jungto practice
is the sharing when new people come in.
However,
People who's been coming to Jungto for a long time,
They actually choose to select sharing practice
as the most attractive part of the Jungto practice.
So the reason why we see such extreme kind of dichotomy
between beginners and the experienced is that
sharing practice is something very difficult for you to get into,
Get used to,
But once you get used to it and participate fully,
It really is beneficial to your practice.
So for the questioner,
Unless it's really,
Really difficult for you,
I would encourage you to at least give it a go,
Give it a try.
