Lesson 6 - Search For Meaning Over Money (Series)

The next money emotion that I see when I'm dealing with clients.

Now we are going to recap one little bit.

We talked about fear-based emotions,

We talked about lack-based emotions,

And today we are talking about lust-based emotions.

Next week we'll be talking about lonely-based emotions,

But before we go there,

We need to discuss lack-based money emotions.

And these lack-based money emotions are very much tied into the,

These lust-based money emotions are very much tied in with the lack-based money emotions.

They kind of go together and you'll see as I begin to talk about them.

Now if you're here live,

I'm so glad you're here.

You can throw questions into the comments,

You can start to think about things you want to clear as I'm starting to name these emotions and the things that go along with these emotions and maybe even some actions and behaviors.

You can drop it in the comments and I'll make sure we put that in our clearing.

If you are not here live and you're listening,

Hopefully we touch on the one that is right for you.

So let's,

Let me grab my notes because I really want to make sure we touch on everything.

Now you might remember from last week when we talked about the lack-based emotions.

If you haven't listened to that one,

Go ahead and go back and listen to it.

But the lack-based emotions were around like feeling inadequate and feeling like you needed to have more and do more and you know and just be something sometimes that you're not because you want to fit in and but you feel like you're inadequate.

You feel like you're not enough and you feel like the value,

Your value is around money and that's whether you have it or not.

And then if you don't feel like you have it and even though some some of those who actually do have it,

They still feel like it's not enough.

I you know tell stories if you follow me about millionaires and multimillionaires that do things because they don't feel like they're enough.

Even though they have plenty of money,

They still are in this lack,

The lack-based emotions and often feel like they're running out of money even when they're not.

So these are tied into the lust-based emotions what we are about to get into.

The very first lust-based emotion is greed.

That is the one I see most often with my clients but not most often within my good rich people community.

In my good rich people community,

I probably see more lack emotions because the focus is on doing good and not necessarily on making money.

So with the lack,

With the with the lust-based emotions,

Greed is super high on the list of those who are really focused on accumulation.

If it's like,

Oh I have to have a certain amount in order for people to know me,

Like me,

Trust me,

You know,

Want to be around me.

And then you,

When it comes to greed,

You feel like you want more than your fair share.

You're like,

I want mine and yours and theirs and whosoever I can take.

And this starts to,

This is what you see when you see the capitalism.

This is,

This is the greed because you don't just want your fair share,

You want everybody's.

And there's this mentality that somebody else's is yours too.

Or if somebody else has something,

Then you're lacking.

Not knowing that you can have as much as you want and somebody else can have as much as they want too.

Last week I explained that it's money is kind of like air in the sense of you're not going to run out of air if I start breathing.

And I'm not gonna run out of air if you start breathing.

Is there enough air for all of us?

And same is true with money.

And what happens is we get attached to the idea of having money and we think that it means that if somebody else has it,

We need to go after their money rather than just going after our own.

But if we do that,

If we do get attached,

Then sometimes we're willing to do anything for money.

Anything.

Even things that would have us lose our dignity and our values and what we deem as important.

And sometimes you give up on family and love and many things that that you wouldn't necessarily give up on if you weren't so greedy.

And so the the money mentality types that often have to deal with greed are the enthusiast and the artist sometimes.

The blamer especially.

Now if you haven't taken the money mentality quiz,

Don't worry.

I do explain all the money mentality types in an earlier lesson.

I think it was lesson two or three.

But I explain the money mentality types and you can kind of get to see which one you are.

You'll need to jump into the group,

Into my group,

In order to get the access to the quiz.

However,

I've been trying to figure out how to give it to you guys here on Insight Timer.

But you know there are some rules to Insight Timer.

But the rules are starting to,

You know,

Open up.

And so there may be ways for me to share with you.

But at least listen to,

Go back and listen to that session because I explain it and you may be able to find yourself in the money mentalities as I as I mentioned them.

So when it comes to the greed,

You are focused on what others have.

And you don't necessarily realize that.

But it is the,

It becomes the focus.

Rather than focusing on what's important to you,

What is your purpose,

What do you bring to the world,

That should be your focus.

And if you focus inward and on you and like what is your gift to the world,

Then you won't have to worry about greed.

And some of the questions I'd like you to ask yourself around greed are,

How can I use my wealth for good?

How can I use my wealth for good?

And you have wealth whether you know it or not.

You are wealthy in life,

In some area of life.

Maybe not in all the areas of your life just yet.

But look at where you are wealthy and then see how you can serve in that area of your life.

So the other question I'd like you to consider is,

How can I create happiness as I become more wealthy?

And I said more wealthy because again you have wealth in your life.

So the next one I want you to consider is desperation.

Now desperation and the lack-based emotion,

This particular lust-based emotion,

Desperation,

Goes along with lack-based emotions.

Wait,

Let me take one step back.

I forgot to mention this.

Sometimes people ask me about jealousy.

Where does jealousy come in?

Why didn't you mention jealousy?

And jealousy falls under greed because remember I said you're focused on other people.

And that focus on other people sometimes create the emotion of jealousy.

But if you,

And that goes along with greed.

So if you were just focused on yourself,

You wouldn't be worried about those other people or concerned about what they have.

You'd be more concerned about how you light up the world and what lights you up.

And so going to desperation.

Desperation is often what happens when you're living check to check.

Now that's a real thing or if you're poor then you feel this desperation about maybe there is technically not enough right now in this moment but that could change in a moment's notice.

And it changes by doing what I asked before and that is really focusing on how you find the happiness with what you have.

The gratitude with what you have right now.

Because you do have a form of wealth and you need to get clear on what that is.

So desperation is also focused on the now.

It is a very like you're just focused on what present moment you have but not like the possibilities.

Not like what is possible for you and what is all in the world.

The world is vast.

The universe is vast and all of that is available to you.

But if you're looking just at what's in front of you,

You will not be likely to accept all that is available to you.

And so many people who are in desperation are over leveraged.

Meaning they have a lot of debt and it brings on these feelings of fear and scarcity.

And so you'll need to focus on the patience.

How do I move from where I am to where I want to be?

And the patience is a part of that.

The plan is a part of that.

You don't have to take on so much risk.

A lot of times when people are in desperation,

It makes them take on more risk which then puts them further in desperation.

Which when you are already over leveraged or very much in debt,

Then you want to scale back your risk.

You want to really lower your risk tolerance.

And what I find is that when you're in desperation,

You're more likely to fall for like get-rich-quick schemes or you know that too-good-to-be-true stuff.

And then the people take the little you do have.

Like your last $500 you were gonna go invest it in this thing that was supposed to turn around in 20 days and give you $5 million for $500.

Now that is just way too good to be true.

But because you want to believe it's so bad and you are desperate,

You're gonna give your last $500 to get to that.

But it's just a scam.

So you even lose that.

And now you're even more desperate.

So that happens a lot for those who are in desperation.

And similar to the greed,

You can be distracted.

Distracted by shiny objects.

Distracted by the glitter,

The gold.

And also distracted by the yucky feeling.

So what happens is as you focus on other people,

You get the yucky feeling.

And you think that chasing that get-rich-quick scheme is gonna make the yucky feeling go away.

But then it just gives you more of a yucky feeling.

But if you just focus on inward focus,

What's important to you?

Reaching your purpose.

Sinking with yourself.

Then you can get to your yummy feeling faster.

And when you're thinking that money will make the yucky feeling go away,

Because it's not true,

It just creates more of a yucky feeling.

And even if you do get money,

The yucky feeling might go away for a split second and then it'll just come back.

Because you haven't resolved the emotions that go along with the money.

So those who experience this desperation are again the enthusiasts.

Sometimes the hero,

Because the hero likes helping people.

And sometimes the hero gets itself into trouble trying to help everybody.

It ends up losing what it has.

The hero.

And spenders can go here too in desperation.

Because spenders like to spend.

And so they may go into debt spending.

So the questions I'd like you to ask yourself here are,

What am I willing to sacrifice?

Because if you're willing to sacrifice,

You will never have to suffer.

You hear me?

If you're willing to sacrifice,

You will never suffer.

So you just have to be willing and aware of where you're willing to sacrifice.

And once you have that,

Then you make that sacrifice.

So if you are living check to check,

Just take a step back and see how you can balance that out a little bit.

Find a little harmony there.

And also focus back on what wealth you do have.

And then ask yourself,

What can I say no to?

And sometimes you're saying no forever to that thing.

Yeah,

It might be an opportunity,

One-time opportunity like that get-rich-quick scheme.

But just say no because you already have a plan.

Stick to your plan.

Stay on the path.

And how can I reward myself?

By being patient.

So I mentioned earlier in desperation,

You might lose patience.

And this part of the desperation is not having patience.

And so if you can get those patience,

But then tell yourself,

Oh I'll reward myself here.

Make a milestone and say I'll reward myself here.

That may help give you more patience.

Makes sense?

Cool.

All right.

So I'm so glad that we are having this conversation.

And it gets even deeper because there's shame sometimes associated with money.

Now there's a couple of different ways that shame can be associated with money.

Some of this,

The shame that you have it and others don't.

I had a former client who,

Her parents had money technically,

Not her.

But they used to drive her to school in a Rolls-Royce.

And she was embarrassed by this.

This did not feel,

She was,

She had shame because most of the kids in school didn't have Rolls-Royces.

They were just normal,

You know,

Maybe they had Mercedes Benz,

But they certainly didn't have Rolls-Royces.

And so this made her feel a certain way and she didn't like it.

And so that shame carried her through her life.

And so she would downplay her wealth even as an adult.

And this shame can also come out when you feel like,

Why haven't I figured this out yet?

Like people are passing me by.

Sometimes people who are younger than you have gotten more wealthy than you.

Or people who are like,

Like me,

I've been in an industry for a long time and you see people sometimes pass you up in the industry who may have either started when you started or they came in after you and you're like,

Whoa,

How did that happen?

I didn't,

I haven't even accomplished that thing.

And you,

But if you're too focused on other people,

Then you don't realize that you're in the right place at the right time doing the right thing for yourself.

And then,

You know,

Whatever others reap the benefits of what's happening for you.

But I can guarantee you that you are doing the right thing for yourself.

Stay on your path.

So that shame that comes with maybe thinking you are taking too long or you haven't figured it out can sometimes create feelings of failure.

This goes back to our lack based emotions where you feel inadequate and you feel like maybe you're a failure.

And many of my good rich people feel this,

Especially if you're in service,

Service based business owners,

Sometimes don't know how to price themselves.

And,

Um,

And maybe certain many service based business owners,

Especially when you have a really,

Really,

Really good heart,

You are not able to,

Um,

Let's say you're not able to ask for money properly.

Like you feel some shame around asking for money.

You feel some shame around having money and maybe a little shame about,

Um,

Just receiving it.

Like maybe you didn't even have to ask for it.

They're just going to give it to you.

And you're like,

Wait,

Wait,

Wait,

Why is this happening?

How is this happening?

Should I,

You know,

Believe this?

And so you,

You have this shame already built up and it blocks the money coming to you.

So if your value is associated with money,

Often you feel the shame too,

If you lose your money.

So let's say you did it,

You amassed some wealth and then something happened and it went away.

I have a friend,

Um,

And this is not a client,

But a friend who was telling me about his parents,

Um,

Working hard for years in an industry.

And then finally they got kind of lucky.

They were in the right place at the right time and their business grew like tripled,

Quadrupled.

And,

Um,

And,

And they were very wealthy and then lots of people started clinging to them.

And then the same way that luck rolled in,

That luck rolled right back out and the industry dropped and they lost a lot.

And then many of those people went away.

And so then they felt the shame around,

Wait,

We trusted these people,

We believed these people,

But they,

They also felt the shame around losing.

Like what did they do wrong?

How did they,

How did they lose?

But it wasn't,

It didn't have anything to do with what they did or didn't do.

That's not the way money works.

It is not about your doing.

It is about your being and how you are feeling.

Money will go to greedy people and it will go to heart,

You know,

Heart people,

Giving people,

Good,

Good people.

It will go either way.

It just has to know that it's welcomed and that is it.

If money goes where it's invited and if you invite money in,

It will go to you.

It doesn't matter what you do or not do.

It doesn't matter who you are or not.

Like if you don't have to be a celebrity to get money,

You don't.

There's plenty of wealthy,

Rich people that you have no idea of,

They walk right past you on the street.

But you don't know because they're not like those people who feel like they have to show you the lack-based emotions,

Where they feel like they have to show you all of their money.

So just be,

Just know that it's not about what you do.

It is about how you feel.

And so the question I'd like you to begin to ask yourself when it comes to the shame you might feel when it comes to money,

Whether it's the amount of money you have or the even,

Even in the desire.

Maybe you feel shame around that,

Which I get a lot from my good rich people.

But here's a question.

Isn't it wonderful that everyone can be wealthy?

Yes.

Isn't it wonderful that everyone can be wealthy?

And this is sort of a,

It's a question,

But it's sort of an affirmation.

I'd like you to just say that over and over so that you can believe it for yourself,

But you can believe it for others.

Because sometimes when you have that shame,

You believe if you take too much,

Then somebody's gonna be without and they're not.

And this sometimes creates guilt,

Which is the fourth lust-based money emotion.

And guilt also comes with equating your value with money.

So maybe you went against your values,

Like back when you were desperate and greedy,

You went against your values.

You did,

You know,

Some things you weren't so proud of.

And you look back and you say,

Oh no,

What did I do?

Oh crap,

I kind of hurt some people to get here.

And so maybe you feel some guilt.

And I don't know how familiar you are with Carnegie and all of the good things he started to do after amassing so much wealth.

And he did that really to make amends.

So Carnegie Hall and Carnegie Mellon and the universities and the libraries came out of his remorse and him wanting to turn it around.

And one thing that I want you to understand is one,

You can do that.

You can turn it around.

You don't,

If you feel that guilt,

You can turn it around and do something different.

You do not have to stay in the guilt.

But also I want you to understand that that was,

That's,

The universe has already erased that.

The universe is not keeping score.

So your shift,

Whenever you do it,

Just like that,

You can let go of the guilt because the universe has.

It's not holding on to that anymore.

The universe moves,

I would say,

At the speed of light,

But even faster than that.

And so the money mentalities that can often feel the guilt are the heroes.

Sometimes the savers too,

But the heroes especially.

And so questions I'd like you to ask yourself around this area would be,

Who benefits from me being wealthy?

Now these are questions you can ask in all areas of the space emotions,

But just ask,

Who benefits from me being wealthy?

I mean it's a really good question if you think about it.

Who benefits?

You benefit,

But there's so many people who could benefit from you being wealthy,

So why not?

And who has the power to be wealthy?

This goes back to,

Isn't it wonderful that everybody can be wealthy?

Who has the power to be wealthy?

We all do.

We all do.

All we have to do is invite money in and then welcome it and like help it feel welcome so that it stays.

And not judge yourself and not let others judge you.

So then you can ask the question,

When I judge myself,

What do I accomplish?

I accomplish making myself feel bad.

I accomplish blocking my money or pushing my money away.

But what do I want to accomplish?

I would love to feel yummy about my money.

I would love to have ease.

I love to feel freedom.

So whatever you would like to accomplish,

I can guarantee you judging yourself,

It's not gonna get you there.

So that shame and that guilt you feel,

We're gonna clear it today in just a few minutes.

But the last question I'd like you to consider is,

What would it take to resolve my money emotions?

My guilt,

My shame,

My desperation,

My greed,

Even the lack-based emotions and the fear-based emotions.

And we'll talk more about the lonely-based emotions next week.

But start to ask yourself those questions because there's sometimes remorse that comes with having money,

Receiving money,

Even some remorse around asking for money.

Especially if you actually receive it.

But really,

Really,

If you don't,

If you get rejected,

Then there's even more remorse.

And you're not leaving anybody behind because again,

Isn't it wonderful that everybody can be wealthy?

So with that being said,

We're gonna end our talk here and get ready for our clearing or a meditation.

Are you ready?