How to Release What Doesn't Serve You

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Hi,

I'm Crystal Joukowsky and this is Breathe In Breathe Out,

A weekly mindfulness and meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.

Welcome back to Breathe In Breathe Out.

I'm Crystal Joukowsky and this is just a fun little topic that I have on my mind today.

It's kind of just,

You know,

It's a little bit of story time,

A little bit of lesson time,

A little bit of introspection and shift change.

So there once was this old man and he had been collecting rocks his entire life.

His family watched as the time went on and this collection just grew and grew and grew.

Eventually the collection took up every spot in the house and he began placing the stones outside while still keeping them close.

They were,

They were,

You know,

They were still a part of him,

But he couldn't have them inside.

There's just no more space.

Eventually the man was aging and his health was declining a little bit and the family knew that they needed to do something about this growing collection.

Was there any value in it?

When dad passes,

What do we do with it?

Where do we go from here?

So they checked in and they asked dad if they could maybe have someone come in and evaluate the collection.

Dad was like,

Yeah,

Sure,

Whatever.

I don't care.

So they contacted a couple of museums and said,

Hey,

You know,

My dad has this unbelievable hoard of rocks that maybe,

Maybe there's some valuable stuff in there.

We really don't know.

They've just,

He's been collecting rocks his entire life.

And so maybe there's something in there that you guys would like.

And most,

Most museums were like,

No,

We're not interested.

But one geologist heard of this collection and was really excited.

Imagine the possibilities of these rare stones that have been collected over a lifetime.

So he got his assistant and they went out so that they could check out this collection.

They arrive,

They start looking.

And after two hours of going through different rooms,

Different areas,

Checking outside,

He was perplexed.

He was really confused because they had yet to find anything of real value.

Every,

Every stone was a simple rock that one could pick up on a hiking trail or a sidewalk.

There wasn't anything outstanding.

There were no real gems or fossils or anything that would make you go,

Whoa.

So he finally asked the man,

Where did all of these rocks come from?

And why do you have them here?

Like what's,

What's going on?

And the old man's response was every time someone has hurt me,

Upset me or wronged me in some way,

I pick up a rock and I bring it home.

I want you to think about this for a minute.

This entire collection of stones were individual reminders of pain that had happened in the past.

He had literally saved a memento and in so doing put the energy of that hurt into each one of these stones,

Every wrong,

Every upset.

These stones were surrounding him.

They were in his home.

They were held and cherished.

They were something he never wanted to let go of.

He wanted to be reminded constantly of pain and heartache.

Can you imagine it?

Can you imagine the literal and figurative weight that was just hanging around him?

Can you imagine what it did with his relationships?

Like how do you hold on to these hurtful memories and still have a close,

Fulfilling connection with someone?

Chit chat with them,

Have a great time,

Enjoy what's going on.

Maybe there's one or two things that are said in that conversation and he goes and picks up a stone to remember that you hurt him.

What would holding on to every one of these emotional hurts or these mental disses do to someone's mental state,

Their emotional state,

Their physical state?

When I sit and think about it,

I just think,

Gosh,

That's absolutely absurd.

Absolutely absurd.

I look around my house and I think about all those rocks and what if every one of those rocks had a connection to somebody air quotes doing me wrong.

Every time I looked at them,

There was nothing uplifting.

There was nothing joyful and exciting and happy about it.

It was literally waiting me down.

I could not personally,

I would not be able to do that.

I would not be able to be surrounded by so much upset and yet we all do it.

Can you think of a wrong or an upset,

A hurt that you're holding onto?

Is there a pain that you are having difficulty letting go?

Someone says something,

Someone does something.

We're left frustrated and upset or angry.

We struggle to reconcile those actions.

Maybe we decide to have a conversation with that person.

We say,

You know what,

I'm going to dive into the ugly side of self-care.

I'm going to go have that difficult conversation.

I'm going to let him know that I was hurt and I was upset about that and you're going to try to clear that out.

When you're done with that conversation,

Do you have the ability to then let the rock go?

Do you leave it somewhere else or is there a tiny bit of that rock that still comes home?

I mean,

It's common for us to hold onto the negative,

Right?

It's common for us to say our minds,

Our brains remember those difficult moments easier,

Faster than it recognizes the positive,

Uplifting ones.

I think sometimes that's because there's something beautiful to learn from it,

Some way that we can grow.

You know,

We all hold onto those moments.

It's a rock.

Is that rock sitting outside your door?

Is it a rock of pride that you've got on the mantle?

The old man may not have ruminated on the specific happenings tied to each and every stone.

Perhaps they were simply a reminder of the times that something negative happened and yet that's where it causes the personal harm to surround yourself with reminders of sadness.

How does that leave room to bring in the joy?

How does that bring on deeper connections,

More hope,

Laughter?

When we hold onto those stones,

Those wrongs,

Those hurts,

Slowly it seeps into your soul.

It festers.

It creates weight,

Pain,

And darkness in your soul.

This grows until all you can see,

All that's left is the darkness and the weight that comes with it.

When are you going to get rid of that rock?

That rock is not serving you.

It is not uplifting you.

It is not bringing you the life that you really want to live.

The poison drags you down,

Leaving you emotionally tired,

Mentally spent.

Perhaps your health begins to suffer a little bit due to the physical toll that that stone is taking on you.

So what's the remedy?

It's taking those stones and removing them from your house,

From your home,

From your body,

From your heart,

From your mind.

It's forgiving the infraction and letting it go.

It's recognizing that you reacted a certain way because of the experiences that you've had in your life,

Because of where you stand.

It's acknowledging that is how I felt because of ABC.

And then it's,

I was disappointed.

I was upset.

Do I really want to carry that anymore?

How is it serving me?

How is it benefiting me?

And if it's not,

How can you release it?

Perhaps you go outside and you pick up a stone and you look at it and you put all of the energy that you feel in your heart and your mind and your body and soul into that stone.

And then you can throw the stone really far away from you if it was a one that you just,

You really need to hawk that stone.

Or maybe you just need to gently set it on the ground somewhere else.

You have symbolically taken it out of your being,

Removed that poison,

Cleared out your heart,

Put it in that stone outside of yourself,

Released it by removing the stone from your hands and allowing love and forgiveness to fill the void where the pain once resided.

Stone scoop.

When we take a moment to recognize the uniqueness in the other party,

The uniqueness in the issue,

We can feel gratitude for their presence and what they teach us,

What we can learn from them,

How we can grow because of the experience.

We can honor their decisions for their past and their experiences that have brought them to this place.

You can release the stone and then that love and compassion helps you move on to the next experience,

The next growth and the next,

Ah,

Life is wonderful.

I'm working on letting go of all my stones and I hope that you are too.

And maybe instead of collecting stones because they remind us of all those difficult,

Painful moments,

Imagine a stone driveway where every one of those stones is because of a joy,

A gift,

A gladness,

An experience that filled you with such positive emotion.

The life is different.

What if every stone in his house was connected to something joyful?

Can you imagine the different energy that would be there?

Can you imagine the shift in life that would happen?

When I look at my property and if I think of every stone being connected with something positive and joyful,

You can hear it in my voice.

It literally makes me laugh because that is fantastic.

And I think that is something that I can get behind.

I can start imagining all of the beautiful things and all of the gifts and all of the hope.

Every time that I belly laughed,

Every time I laughed until I cried,

Every time I laughed until I peed a little bit because it was just so good.

Every fantastic hug,

Every random smile from a stranger that just lightened my day a little bit.

If I put those into rocks and if I put those rocks around me,

My life is going to be so much better because then when I look around,

I'm constantly reminded life is good.

It's amazing.

It is such a gift.

Take a moment to decide which scoop are you going to take from the stones with the reminders of the pain or the stones that remind you of the goodness that surrounds you.

I hope you have a fantastic week and I hope you come back and listen again next week on Breathe In,

Breathe Out.

I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace.

I'm Krystal Joukowsky on Instagram,

Facebook and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon.

I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In,

Breathe Out.

Until next time,

Take care.

Yeah.