Think meditation is hard?
Do me a favor.
Take a slow,
Deep breath in.
And now breathe out.
Congratulations.
You just meditated.
Hi,
I'm Krystal Joukowsky,
And this is Breathe In,
Breathe Out,
A weekly mindfulness and meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.
Welcome back to Breathe In,
Breathe Out.
I'm Krystal Joukowsky,
And yeah,
Thrilled that you're here,
Thrilled that we're here together.
Oh,
I just love podcasting.
This week,
I want to talk about communication a little bit.
I'm a storyteller.
I'm a weaver.
I share a lot about my life,
Little tidbits here and there.
And I really appreciate you guys being willing to come along this journey with me and witness my vulnerability and witness my tips and tricks.
And I hope that you're finding benefit and support in what you hear and are able to grow in your own life as well.
This week,
As far as communication goes,
I want to share a little bit,
A little glimpse into how my husband and I communicate.
So Jay likes very direct,
Specific communication.
It is line,
Line,
Line,
Done.
When he asks a question,
He usually just wants the facts,
Just the facts,
Ma'am,
Just the facts.
When he asks me how my day is,
I often launch into this long explanation of everything I did everywhere I went,
Everyone I talked to,
And it goes on.
Often I would say,
Oh,
Wait,
I got to go back and tell you about this part of it too,
Because I'd forgotten something,
Air quotes,
Important to tell him that I really wanted him to know,
Right?
And then I'd ask him how his day was and he responds at a couple meetings and ready to do dinner.
Like that's just it.
Learning how to communicate with your partner or those people around you is absolutely a compromise.
And I firmly believe that we ask questions,
Expecting responses in alignment with our own way of expressing when the response we receive isn't in our style,
We can get a little frustrated.
Or maybe the minimal response leaves us worrying something else is going on.
So we start creating assumptions and alternate realities and we want to process the lack of communication.
What does it mean that he only did this or that?
What does it mean that they're,
Why aren't they telling me more?
I don't understand.
And we get a little bit insecure or maybe it's that we're sitting there going as the story done,
I'm so over it and I really just want to,
I'm hungry.
I just,
I just want to eat dinner.
You know,
Sometimes I need a meadow report from Jay and sometimes he needs short,
Concise,
Direct answers from me.
So let me explain to you what the meadow report is.
When I refer to that,
It's an anecdote that illustrates the difference in communication styles.
Okay.
Let me explain with a story because I'm a storyteller of course.
So a tribe would follow where the food was throughout the seasons and one person would scout ahead and find a place for camp near the wildlife they were hunting,
Right?
Because that's food.
And when asked where the animals were,
They would point and give a very short,
Concise description.
It's easy to follow a herd and you don't need much more than a direction and an approximate distance.
Very concise.
The women on the other hand would gather nuts,
Berries,
Herbs,
And other necessities for the tribe.
And these can be a little bit harder to find,
Which means that the instructions for how and where to find them were much more involved and complicated.
So as the tribe moved,
Women who remembered the area from previous seasons would pass along this valuable information.
Follow the river around that bend,
Through this meadow,
Towards the large willow,
Over this,
Under that,
And you'll find whatever.
The details were important.
They were immensely important.
All these little details.
Now most relationships have both kinds of communicators.
One is generally a storyteller while the other is more direct and concise.
And this can flow depending on where you're at in the relationship.
There are times that Jay has a day and he really just wants to tell me all about something that happens.
He wants to be a storyteller.
And there are times when I'm like,
Can we just be concise and get to the point?
I don't understand all of that tech stuff.
So I really want to hear you and be here for you in this moment and yet.
So you flip and you flop and you understand.
And this knowledge of where you are at and where the person that you're speaking is at is hugely important because I can go and say,
Hey,
I want to share with you something that happened.
Do you have time?
And Jay has the opportunity to say,
Not right now.
I have time for a short thing,
But I don't have time for the meadow report.
And I can say,
Okay,
Well then I don't really want to tell you because that'll spoil the answer.
So I'll just talk to you later.
And then I have to hold in my excitement or whatever until later or find someone else to chit chat with.
And he can do the same thing with me.
I got to talk to you.
I got to tell you something.
Do you have time?
And I can say,
You know,
Not right now,
But maybe later.
It gives this respect and understanding,
Hey,
I value your time.
I know that you value your time.
I value my own.
So let's make sure that I have the time to give you the attention that this conversation deserves because think about it.
We've all had those conversations where you wanted to share something and you wanted to give this meadow report of everything that was happening.
And yet the other person is really mentally not in it.
You can tell they're not paying attention.
You can tell that they're not there with you,
That you can tell that you're just kind of speaking to the void.
And that's really upsetting and frustrating.
If you take this little tip,
If you take this little thing and apply it to your communication across the board,
I tell you things will improve dramatically.
Just respecting your time,
Acknowledging where you're at and respecting the time of the person that you're conversing with in that moment.
I would love it if you apply it and then share with us what happened.
Like how did it benefit?
Did you experience something really great?
And did it bring you a little bit more peace knowing that this was a wonderful tool to be able to apply?
I'm telling you,
It can change your life.
So go apply it,
Have some fun,
And we'll see you again next week here on Breathe In,
Breathe Out.
I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace.
I'm Crystal Dikowski on Instagram,
Facebook,
And YouTube,
And I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon.
I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In,
Breathe Out.
Until next time,
Take care.
