Hello,
Hello,
Beautiful souls.
Borrowed exhaustion,
Hey,
And rest for the weary heart.
What does it mean?
Well,
The talk here is for people who can't have been quietly holding everything together.
They've been caring and supporting.
End.
Actually.
This allows my ability to share with you what I've been through and what my awareness was.
So I put it together in a talk.
And this isn't you,
But you know someone.
Someone who's caring,
Someone who has the burden of that on them,
Then please share,
Please share.
Even creating this has helped my balance,
My levels and my love.
I've been holding a high vibe for what my small family's been experiencing lately.
And then today I was alerted to my inner response.
It felt like mild depression.
Sort of stagnation and procrastination.
And weirdly.
The stress spot was buried deep,
Deep under layers of my own determined positivity.
And when I realized that this was happening,
I realized that when someone we love is navigating illness,
Grief,
Loss,
Trauma,
I don't know,
Uncertainty,
Addiction,
Financial stress,
Any major life change.
Part of our nervous system.
Quietly aligns with them.
Joins with them on their journey.
We become the listener.
We become the encourager.
By default we become the organizer.
And the supporter.
The hopeful one.
And then yes.
The one holding the high vibration.
So while we may not be living the trauma ourselves,
Our body doesn't often know the difference.
We're empaths,
By nature.
Our nervous system remains alert.
And you know part of us is always monitoring.
How are they today?
What's happening next?
Are they coping?
Any ongoing vigilance on your behalf.
Requires energy.
And over time,
Your body begins conserving resources.
And it's not because it's lazy and it's not because it's failing it's because it's carrying more than what it was designed to carry for extended periods.
And we know most conversations about trauma.
Focus on the person experiencing the crisis.
But far fewer acknowledge the experience of the person standing beside them.
You,
The one holding the space.
You,
The one staying strong.
Listening,
Caring.
Helping.
Waiting,
Hoping.
And it's.
.
.
A gentle and quiet depletion.
And it can look like this.
Reading another chapter in the book because Getting out of the chair is too hard.
Starting something fresh is too hard.
Mentally.
Playing games on your tablet or phone because they require less emotional energy than real life.
Looking around at tasks that need doing in your home and just feeling absolutely unable to initiate them.
Not feeling depressed in the traditional sense,
And yet not feeling fully engaged in life either.
Making life smaller so that you can cope.
And time disappearing because you actually can't move out of that chair.
Or whatever the picture is for you.
And when you don't recognize the state.
It's actually.
.
.
Harder on you.
You're carrying an invisible load.
And as an empath,
And an energy healer.
You take some of the load on.
And when you realize,
That the awareness was that you didn't have to take all of that load on.
You just had to discover yourself again.
When you face that,
The awareness of.
Allowing yourself to disappear.
Now let me just cover this,
This is not about stopping what you're doing.
This is about allowing yourself.
To be you.
Which adds health to you,
Strength to you.
Inner support of spiritual strength to you.
And when you do have this awareness,
You.
Find places to go to find you again.
While you're aligned with your work.
As a supporter,
We often give ourselves permission to just care for everyone else.
And then when someone says,
Oh,
But you have to look after yourself,
It doesn't really land because you go,
Oh,
Well,
I'm eating.
I'm walking the dog.
You do the things that make life work for you.
But here.
In this platform.
I'm speaking to other energy healers,
Empaths and sensitive souls.
And you really do need to make sure of where your energy is going.
You do need to care for your life force,
Because you know about it now.
And when you know about something.
It's hard on your system when you ignore it or you don't boost it or you don't feed it.
Does that make sense?
So one thing I began doing.
I've begun sensing wear.
Yaki energy has stayed inside me.
And for me,
That scent was usually in my stomach.
And then I just sit with it.
And instruct it that it can only be present.
Out in the extreme edges of my energy field.
And I usually push my hand out to where I'm pushing the energy.
I inwardly make my way around my whole body and I push the dense energy out towards my energy edges.
And it takes no time at all.
And I feel lighter.
And my vibration comes back.
My joy comes back.
Give it a try.
Some areas where you can clearly see.
Outline your space,
Or more clearly,
Outline your space.
Is recognize what you've been carrying.
You don't have to drop it.
No,
That's not what I'm saying.
See it.
When you recognize what you've been carrying,
Sometimes you get to see the areas where The carrying has overlaid into everything.
So when you acknowledge the role,
And you thank yourself for showing up.
You can.
Allow some of the responsibilities just to land back in their place.
Return responsibilities that aren't yours to hold.
Call your energy back into you.
And rest in the permission to simply be.
At those times where you're not required to be.
In the role of carer and supporter.
Do you get what I said then?
Low energy is really sneaky and it's subtle.
And when you allow.
The role that you're playing and carrying and caring about when you allow that to infiltrate every cell.
You just stop identifying yourself.
And yourself.
Has a version of depression.
Because it can't be seen as not being seen.
Some of the things you might say or feel are,
I just can't get motivated.
Like we said before,
I just want to read my book.
I would read a whole book in a day.
That was it.
I can't stop scrolling.
I just can't get started.
And I'm sleeping so much.
I was sleeping so much before I recognised.
How much impact I was having on my body within the lack of awareness,
The lack of awareness.
So.
.
.
Yes,
Underneath.
There's months maybe years of carrying the emotional weight that was never acknowledged but you know There's some descriptions that come to me as I reflected on this.
And they might ping awareness for you.
I'm just going to run through them.
Let them flow as I talk.
And you know the title,
That borrowed,
The borrowed exhaustion.
Where there is this,
The quiet fatigue of caring.
It isn't burnout or collapse,
It's just the accumulated tiredness from caring for a long time.
For some,
It's living in a proverbial waiting room.
Life feels suspended while you wait for diagnoses,
Outcomes,
Decisions,
Whatever answers you're waiting for.
And then there's emotional vigilance.
Where your nervous system never fully relaxes because part of you is always listening,
Waiting,
Watching.
The energy of holding space,
Needing to be calm,
Needing to be steady.
The forgotten grief.
And that grief isn't from loss.
But it's watching someone you love struggle and knowing you can't walk the path for them.
Your life's on standby,
So your body has unconsciously paused.
Investing energy into your dreams and projects just becomes a priority that's not there.
The cost of constant readiness,
That's quite hard on your system.
And recovery before renewal,
The season between carrying this and then creating your next.
Just be aware.
Procrastination may follow for a while afterwards,
Because your cells and atoms,
They get used to what they were in that state of alert,
And to actually enter a state of pleasure,
Joy moving forward,
It's a different thing to learn.
So,
I can say here the biggest thing is,
Give yourself a break.
Do something fun.
Remember where joy lives.
And watch as your body and brain respond.
I'd love to offer you big solutions here.
My biggest one is being aware.
Being aware of where your mind is going as you cover the details of your own situation.
Your mind and your creativity are areas where you can grow into your own person while you are caring and supporting.
Insert joy into your world in some small way.
It lifts your heart,
Your vibration.
Your energy field.
I bought a loved one,
An older person,
A rainbow monkey.
For a period of stay they had in a hospital when I couldn't be there.
That monkey followed them home.
It had valkyrie hands to hold onto something,
And it followed them in their journey back.
It was just a fun thing.
And the joy that permeated from that was Particulously high.
Another time I sent this same older person a package.
I live in a different country to them at the time.
And the package was a brightly coloured tea towel about our area.
Which he knew the area.
And something else fun which I can't quite remember at the moment.
But that tea towel,
Again,
Became green.
Focus.
A focus of joy.
So sometimes.
The most loving thing we can do is acknowledge.
How we feel.
And shed some joy into some other places.
So check in to make sure that you're not holding on to annoyance at being kept away from that which you thought you'd be doing right now.
This just begins a trail of dumb guilt,
It's just not suitable,
Don't do it.
Instead,
If you are beside someone or you are in that place where you're waiting on someone Make notes on your phone.
Make notes on your tablet.
Get yourself set up a little more for when you can move into your next adventure.
If it feels right,
Share these thoughts,
These new curiosities with your family,
With your loved one,
With who you're caring for.
Read books on your next new.
Build a picture for you.
And if you haven't got a picture of your next nude.
Then take some mind time to feel into a picture that brings you joy.
I have a meditation on the platform called Magic Manifesting Meditation which guides you in remembering how you can use all of your senses to create a new picture.
And build a new reality.
And this can all be started as you sit inside your role as carer and supporter.
I hope this talk has brought as much inner peace as it gave to me as I created it.
I hope you got some solutions from it.
Listen again if it feels right.
I'm sending big hugs over the airwaves to you beautiful soul.
Be kind to yourself,
Love yourself,
And your best is truly enough.
See you in the next meditation.
Bye for now.
