Welcome to the short course called The Secret to a Good Night's Sleep.
Learning to sleep through self-knowledge.
A few months ago I posted a short talk on my Insight Timer profile about two basic tips that would help you fall asleep.
The purpose of this short course is to delve into those two instructions which are,
On the one hand,
To stop trying to control sleep,
To surrender and,
On the other hand,
To allow the language of images instead of words to permeate our minds.
In this short course I'll talk more about these methods and I'll propose self-knowledge techniques that can help you develop a better relationship with your unconscious in order to sleep well,
Deeply and when you need to.
The first section will be about the language of images and I'll present one self-knowledge technique proposed by Carl Jung that I believe can help the person suffering from insomnia to cultivate a better relationship with his or her unconscious mind.
Throughout this session you will learn to give space to your afflictions and obsessions so that your mind can indulge in relaxation when it needs to.
A common cause for insomnia is worry,
Planning and other mental difficulties.
For this I will suggest mindfulness techniques on the second section which will also help develop a more active relationship with the mind to be able to deal with the desire for control that sometimes doesn't allow us to surrender to sleep.
At the same time,
It will help you work with the habit of thinking and conceptualizing which has no space in the conciliation of sleep.
The Buddhist tradition also offers the tool of loving kindness which will inspire you to be kind when you can't sleep instead of giving yourself a hard time for it.
If you want to learn to connect with the language of images,
To let go of control when it's time to sleep,
And to know yourself better in order to develop a healthier relationship with your unconscious mind,
I invite you to join me in this short course.
Section 1 In this first section we will focus on images and imagination as well as their role in our sleep.
Dream doesn't appear in words but in images.
If we want to sleep we have to dream,
And to dream we have to connect with our unconscious.
The unconscious mind is in charge of dreams,
Not our logical mind.
That's why I recommend for the person who suffers from insomnia to learn techniques that help them relate to their imagination so that at bedtime it is easier to abandon themselves to this language.
Words and concepts help us elucidate the world around us,
To separate,
To think about it.
Thinking and conceptualising help the mind to know and determine the world.
Imagination,
On the other hand,
Allows the mind to move into the past and the future,
Which is something that the body cannot do.
But when we fall asleep,
Our imagination,
Channeled in that way,
Going to the past and the future,
Will not help.
Concepts in this context are rather an obstacle because the unconscious usually communicates with us through images.
Our dreams are presented in this way too.
Our imagination will be useful by allowing the images that our unconscious chooses to appear in the mind.
So,
Stop describing,
Putting words to everything in your head and pay attention to the images that appear in your field of consciousness.
They will appear on their own if you wait patiently.
When you go to sleep,
Take a deep breath and at some point,
Images,
Shapes and colours will appear.
Get them space.
Continue to breathe while they move and develop.
The mindfulness section will teach you to be able to stay with those developments and to surrender to them.
At this point,
The person who suffers from insomnia could say that he or she is afraid of surrendering to an unknown part of himself or herself.
The unconscious mind is a mystery and it often causes many problems for human beings.
How is it possible to surrender to the unknown?
My answer is that,
In order to surrender to the unconscious without being carried away by that fear,
We have to get to know it.
I will talk about active imagination now.
This is a method of approaching the unconscious that I consider one of the most powerful and useful tools that I've ever learned.
To turn to my inner world.
To get to know myself better.
And above all,
To resolve internal conflicts.
These resolutions haven't only helped me to live a better life,
To improve my relationship with myself and other people,
But they have also helped me to have more peace of mind and therefore to sleep better.
My psychic conflicts used to keep me awake and in a state of obsession with thoughts related to those conflicts.
Self-knowledge can be beneficial because it helps you to accept your inner world and give it space.
The more you know yourself and your unconscious tendencies,
The more relaxed and more in control of your mind you'll be.
This technique I speak of is called active imagination.
Carl Jung rediscovered it in order to bring to the surface the parts of our personality that are hidden.
We don't know ourselves as well as we like to think we do.
Sometimes we're surprised to be capable of certain actions.
For better or for worse,
We can feel ashamed or proud of something we did or said without meaning to.
It happens frequently that we sabotage our love relationships,
Our friendships,
Our family affairs.
It happens that we cheat on diets or cannot stop smoking or drinking.
We know we shouldn't cheat on our partner or eat ice cream when dieting,
But we do.
Jung set out to explore these parts of the personality that just float to the surface unexpectedly and then return to the depths of the unconscious.
Active imagination is a dialogue that we establish with the parts of ourselves that live in the depths of our unconscious.
When a part of us disrupts our peace and plans,
We feel that urge to find a solution.
That urgency is the first clue about the part of ourselves that we want to contact within.
That urgency and our pain or discomfort will give us the question we want to offer to our imagination.
For example,
Why am I eating ice cream when I'm trying to diet?
Who is it inside of me that needs to eat mint ice cream?
Active imagination is an interview to those parts of ourselves that are erupting from the depths.
We can ask them,
What do you want from me?
What do you need?
Who are you?
For this,
You have to achieve a certain level of concentration.
You will need to be in a place alone where no one will interrupt you.
Sometimes we hear an inner voice scolding us for having done something that embarrasses us.
And we then scold that voice in return for making us feel that way.
Sometimes we ask it to shut up and start an inner fight that brings us down.
Through active imagination,
We would invite that shame and we would ask it once from us.
What can we do to accomplish a better tone from that part of ourselves?
Maybe we can negotiate for it to be kinder to us and in return we could check out our ideals.
Maybe that we think that we should be perfect and tend to ask too much from ourselves.
We can also have a frequent fantasy or dream and reject it when it arises.
We don't give it space.
Active imagination is an encouragement to shape,
Ask and explore what's happening within us.
Make friends with those rejected parts inside of us.
These figures can surprise you.
Show an urgency that you didn't know existed.
Perspectives that you don't recognize as yours.
You have to let them do and say what they want.
At this point,
Our conscious self will start the interview.
We will need a pen and paper to record it so we can go back to it and analyze it later.
The purpose of this imaginative work is to explore our inner world.
Active imagination allows us to negotiate with inner figures,
Asking with great respect if an agreement can be reached.
A simplified example that I want to use to illustrate is again the dieter who eats ice cream.
The figure of the hungry teenager or child might emerge.
They might be asked what they're really hungry for.
Why they want to eat ice cream specifically.
What sort of speech they give you to convince you that you need that ice cream.
This technique can transform your life by helping you to solve problems that you didn't even know you could solve.
It can also help you achieve a calm mind because you won't be fighting with yourself.
It can make you more whole.
It can help you integrate parts of yourself that you've denied.
And ultimately,
It can help you act with your heart and your reason aligned.
Almost all difficulties in our lives come from that denial,
From fighting with parts of ourselves that we don't recognize as ours.
Jung said the only suffering is suffering that we don't understand.
If we give space to the unknown,
We will get the reward of self-knowledge and inner resolution.
At first,
It can be difficult to surrender to our imagination.
But little by little it gets easier.
This technique often brings great breakthroughs.
We only have to sit or lie down with paper and pencil and ask who is there.
And allow ourselves to see what comes up.
Shapes,
Lights,
Colors,
Nothing.
Let's be patient.
That first image or word that appears is an important clue.
It doesn't matter how we judge it.
Just ask yourself,
What is it?
What do I associate with it?
Sometimes the answers won't come immediately,
But it's enough that we make ourselves available to the unconscious and that we are open to it.
As a way of practicing and starting active imagination exercises,
I recommend that you do a visualization that you can find on my Insight Timer profile called A New You.
Transform Your Shadow.
Start a dialogue with a part of yourself that you reject or that needs to be listened to.
Once you're open to the images and words that arise in your field of awareness,
You can welcome the parts of yourself that need attention and work.
Try to follow the directions that I have explained on this section.
Section 2.
I mentioned in my short talk on falling asleep that I recommend the Antognac to relax,
Give up and stop controlling what happens.
This sounds obvious,
But it's not really.
We often try to control our sleep in the same way we control our waking life.
It's important that we learn to stop controlling and surrender to sleep.
Learning to surrender is your ego's job because you have to contain it.
The ego wants to control and know what happens all the time,
But the unconscious mind connects with a flow that doesn't give room for control or control anxiety.
The unconscious demands that we relax,
And it demands for us to trust it,
That we take the images it produces lightly rather than tightly.
This lightness can help us in our day-to-day as well.
Our conflicts and issues require a balance between effort and flow.
We must put effort into what we do,
But at the same time we must give space to what doesn't depend on us.
If we keep our dreams and goals in this light,
We'll see them as processes,
And we won't give ourselves a hard time when things don't go our way.
If we fail to sleep on our first attempt,
It's best to be kind rather than reproach ourselves.
If we're very rigid and controlling,
We won't be kind and we won't be able to sleep.
This brings me to another important issue,
Which is kindness.
Let's remember to be kind to ourselves during any process that tries to achieve any goal.
From sleeping to meditating,
Getting a job we want,
Whatever it is.
Instead of scolding ourselves for not having succeeded,
Let's acknowledge our efforts and growth.
An exercise in kindness can be to look at a photo of yourself that you like,
And see all your efforts and changes,
All your growth.
Look at yourself appreciating your achievements.
At that time,
Many times,
We continue to deal with the world in a very active way,
And instead of entering a space of relaxation,
We enter a space of control and tension.
We tend to resume the events of the day in our heads,
To try and find solutions to problems.
We tend to think ahead and many times we are filled with anguish and anxiety.
Other times we go into planning,
Overthinking or fantasy.
There are various opinions about what we should do with our minds when it torments us with difficult emotions,
Fantasies or thoughts.
One common perspective is to think that our emotions are almost like poison,
And that we should avoid them.
Sometimes this is an unconscious perspective.
Another could be to control it through a spiritual connection.
It's true that through meditation and prayer,
One can achieve states of union and fulfillment.
Many people consider this to be the objective of all meditations and seek through it a feeling of union with the energies that created us,
A kind of return to the womb.
If we feel one with the universe,
Then we are not one,
But we are everything.
And if we are everything,
We don't have to worry about a little human emotion.
The problem is that this can become a way to avoid unwanted emotions and thoughts.
Surrendering to faith can help in times when our grief is too intense.
Faith can greatly contribute to recovery,
But it's possible to achieve alongside or without it a more effective preventive relationship with unwanted emotions that maintains its long-term effects.
Mindfulness provides the opportunity to deal with difficulties in a way that can open mental space for concentration and creativity.
If we follow this technique,
When we feel a difficult emotion or become obsessed with a thought,
We won't ignore it,
Nor will we look for release,
But will attend to the present experience,
Savoring the discomfort or pain instead of denying it,
Even when we don't like the taste.
It is true that thanks to the mind we can argue,
Imagine and process information,
But it can also drive us to unnecessary obsession with external objects that could cause us pleasure or pain,
And then it distracts us from the direct experience of life by focusing on plans and fantasies about a future in which everything will be better,
Sometimes fantasies of things being worse.
Mindfulness can give us a different perspective,
And it can invite us to attend to the present,
Even if we don't like what we're feeling or thinking.
The only way we can get out of these states is by going through them and giving them space,
Otherwise they'll return until hurt.
Mindfulness-based meditation can be helpful in times when we find that our ego is trying to control sleep,
Or when worries and plans for the next day begin to appear and we cannot sleep.
Whether you have used mindfulness before or not,
It's worthwhile to practice it when bedtime arrives.
To begin mindfulness work,
The first instruction is to attend to the breath,
To the direct experience of inhaling and exhaling.
If we anchor our attention in it as much as possible during the day,
Each time we do it,
We'll already be out of the talk of the mind and we'll be more in control.
We can focus on breathing every time the message notification rings on the phone,
For example,
Or every time we are cooking a meal,
Or before we eat.
We can also do this exercise when a strong emotion overwhelms us.
These little exercises will help us create a habit that will give us more control over our minds and more awareness of our ego and its need for control during bedtime and during any time.
Once we catch the ego,
We can then manage its tightening and craving for control.
I will focus now briefly on anxiety,
Worry and planning,
Which are frequent states of mind at bedtime.
We'll continue to insist on mindfulness as the main relief of any mental obstacle,
But we'll emphasize on these mental states that tend to focus on the future.
Anxiety and worry can be the product of guilt or come as a result of a difficult situation we're experiencing.
When we are concerned,
Our focus is on the object of concern.
We repeat it over and over again.
We ask ourselves the same questions.
Worry usually comes in the form of thoughts about the future.
It may be that we are correct in worrying,
That we know this event is going to happen.
An examination,
A judgment,
A loss.
But we can also worry about an event that we are not sure of.
We are only imagining scenarios to calm the uncertainty to feel in control.
Uncertainty also makes us feel afraid and fear brings tension in the body,
A cloudy mind,
A fight or flight response,
The obsession to get an answer or a solution.
But in these intense states,
We cannot find answers because we aren't composed and creativity requires a calm mind.
Sometimes we need to admit that we're not going to get the certainties that we want so much.
We need patience to deal with these states as well as kindness to ourselves and confidence that we can train the mind to work better for us.
The need to control the future is a natural response to having a hectic day and finally being in bed with the necessity to rest and relax.
We continue in the mode of action and work and it's difficult for us to let ourselves be carried away by sleep.
We sometimes think about how we didn't do much to achieve our life's goals that day.
Sometimes we have real worries and excessively difficult problems and in bed we get a space for internal dialogue that we hadn't had time for before.
When we go to bed and start attempting to fall asleep,
We usually start reviewing our day unconsciously.
This is the time to bring awareness to what the ego is doing and to bring that lightness that we spoke about earlier.
This is lightness with our processes and with what we're going through.
We don't have to take it to heart and we don't have to ignore it either.
It can also happen that we sleep well but we wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about our problems.
I believe that in these cases the mind is seeking to communicate with us,
The unconscious mind probably,
To have a space for dialogue with our conscious self.
That's why I recommend doing the work presented in the first section.
At the same time it can be helpful to attend to the emotion.
For us trying to define if we're making plans or if we're anxious,
Worried,
If we're afraid,
What's the main emotion or emotions?
Writing a journal when you have a chance can also be helpful,
Especially when you have too many plans and lists in mind.
I understand that most of us have busy lives and we don't have a lot of time for these activities.
But I think it's better to put the time and effort into self-awareness and inner work than wasting hours not being able to sleep.
When we're worrying and planning too often and our minds are stuck in the future it's useful to ask ourselves if they're real concerns or is it just the mind creating movement?
Can I do something about it or do I have no control over the situation?
Sometimes it happens that not having control fixes us more on the concern and repetition of our idea or a phrase.
If we cannot put thinking aside because there's a lot of energy behind it,
Breathing exercises can be helpful.
I hope that the first section helps you get acquainted with the language of images and with your unconscious mind.
And I hope that the second section helps you develop a habit of awareness that gives you more control over your mind and your ego and allows you to relax and surrender to sleep.
Thank you for listening.
