Is The Narcissistic Template Hurting Your Business?

36:50

36:50

Is The Narcissistic Template Hurting Your Business?

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What is the Narc Template and how do we know if we're running it in our business? If you've healed from Narcissistic abuse in your personal life, is it possible that it's leaked through in your business life, making it harder for you to receive money, love, and support? I'm seeing lightworkers unconsciously run this Narc Template in their businesses, so no matter how much you do, or how talented you are, your business isn't gaining traction and rising. This podcast is for light leaders to rise.

Meet your Teacher

Brighton and Hove, United Kingdom

Meet your Teacher

Brighton and Hove, United Kingdom

Transcript

Turn your power on with the Turn Yourself On podcast so you remember who you are. I'm Marina Jay and I'm a number one best-selling author, Psychic life coach and speaker who has helped thousands of people for over 24 years heal their life back to fabulous because you are fabulous. Together we're going to talk shadow work, Emotional and metaphysical healing and all things ascension. You can reach me at marinaj. Net for my coaching, Courses and my number one best-selling book Turn Yourself On. Are you ready to turn yourself on? Let's begin. So you have probably heard me bang on about the NOC template these last few weeks especially if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Miwi and Gab although not massively on Miwi and Gab at the moment I am on Twitter though. Yeah I'm not into them as much at the moment anyway it doesn't really matter because that's not what we're here to talk about and so what we are here to talk about today is what is the NOC template and how do we know if we're running it in our business or not. So although I'm going to be talking about business if you have a career or you are simply helping people in the world I'm talking to you too. So just hear the B word right if the word business doesn't completely apply to where you are right now. I'm also going to share with you my NOC template story I'm going to get quite personal and vulnerable which is something I don't massively do online obviously if you're my client you know I do but online I'm more guarded and more private. So I'm going to talk about where this has really come from and my own personal story. So I knew that I was running a NOC template in my business where no matter how good I was with my clients no matter how many miracles were performed in a session right it's like the universe it's God moving through me for you no matter how much my clients lives grew my business didn't. I was helping all these women to heal and flourish these gorgeous women and they were truly setting sail right they were like woohoo bye having a great time right and I was so glad because it was all I'd ever wanted to do like it is literally my life's work and so here they were right these gorgeous women and I know you know you if you're listening you may be a client of mine or may have been a client of mine I know a lot of you listen in and it's so gorgeous because I just imagine a group of us in the room and they were creating incredible lives right and most if not all were doubling or tripling their income and we don't even work on money and they were doing that within the coaching program which is typically between six months and a year and it's what I'm made to do right and yet their expansion oddly didn't expand my business it just didn't trickle through my personal life kept on getting better and better right as usual but my business life seemed to have reached a ceiling now I've been aware of this I was aware of it at the time but I just kind of thought you know what if I just work harder if I just get professional help in it's gonna shift that too right because everything shifts so I searched for answers and I ended up paying thousands of dollars to three different marketers and whilst they were great at what they did I definitely didn't recoup my investment at all and I actually lost time and money like a lot of time and a lot of money and I got really disillusioned and you know at the same time I got coaching and healing to try and figure it out but nothing lifted that business ceiling off me like the coaching and the healing was incredible so my personal life kept shifting and changing but my business ceiling stayed right where it was right like literally what the fuck everything else was lifting but my business and you know like you I'm a light worker right we're here to make a big impact so none of this made sense to me I'm like wait on the one hand I'm really good at what I do and then on the other hand it's not my business isn't growing I'm not reaching more people it's kind of running along quite nicely but it's not actually where I want it to be and then I realized something what if I was applying what I'd learned as a child to my business that it was normal to over give and under receive that that template that I'd created as a child to stay safe was now snugly fit over my business oh my god thou shall over give thou shall deplete oneself to be of service thou shall not receive one's needs if I could just show up and give and do what I came here to do then I was safe I could count on my clean energy going out so I was very comfortable in that and maybe you are too I was very comfortable in giving no problem you got a problem I will help you I will listen intently for a whole day if I need to I'm right there and you are gonna lift and rise because you just are just what I do so that's like a no-brainer for me but I didn't want any dirty energy coming back to me so naturally I began to block receiving so the dirty energy isn't necessarily from people that are yucky or anything like that right my clients were beautiful right and the people in my business were beautiful it wasn't anything about that this isn't about people per se but this is about me running what I used to run as a child in order to stay safe now unconsciously through my business so back then as a kid I didn't like some of the people's energies that I was around right and so I'm like you know what I don't feel emotionally safe around you so I'm just not gonna receive I love you but I don't feel emotionally safe I'm not gonna receive it's safer for me to give and not receive I'll run that thanks and so this set me up for a lifetime I mean I'm laughing but it was incredibly painful and maybe you can relate right this set me up for a lifetime of supporting others but not being supported back right it's how I developed a curvature of the spine right known as scoliosis I will support you but not me all right your spine is your support if it's not straight it means you're going outwards to support others rather than directly to support you it set me up for a lifetime of running the 80 20 rule I will give 80% in any interaction and you only need to give 20% back and I will be happy with that for years it's normalized in my frequency this is gonna set me up for a lifetime of watching the false lights receive the support recognition and money whilst the true lights like me and you and my healer friends receive the opposite so by false lights you can probably hear the seagulls in the background I thought I'd run the podcast today with my window open so I hope it's not too loud for you it's so beautiful for me it's like there are a lot of coaches in my industry that I liken to glorified marketers they're very good at marketing themselves but they're not the real deal simple often what you find are the real deals and not so good at marketing themselves so this is also gonna set me up right for a lifetime of hearing my clients my beloved clients tell me humorously that I was their best-kept secret they would love right they go you are my secret weapon they would never tell anyone that they were working and getting amazing results with me so I was completely invisible I wasn't being shared and it set me up for a lifetime of it was always gonna be about the other person and never about me so with my clients that's normal it's as it should be right it should always be about the client and it's something I do really naturally and I love it but for a business that means I'm blocking receiving big time the amount of energy I put out in my business was never returned to me by my business right I had written a number one best-selling book and received hundreds of emails and hundreds of verbal thank yous saying that the book had given them the strength and increased their ability to heal so profoundly that they were making the best decisions of their life they were growing their life they were fucking flourishing right they were like whoo-hoo and yet my book has only received I think about 15 reviews worldwide with so many of them saying oh my god I'm gonna review your book but they just never got round to it now I don't hold on to any of it right whatever but when I look back then I'm going ah look for the signs I wouldn't mind if I'd written a bad book but it just didn't match up what I was giving out was not what I was getting back and I had so many people including close friends I may add putting the whole chunks of my book turn yourself on out into the world onto their newsletters and into their workshops but putting their name to it as the author now what template do you think I was running in my business it dawned on me one day that it was the narc template I was literally running a narc template through my business the same template that expanded my giving and restricted my receiving as a child to stay emotionally safe right which was my choice was literally leaving my business at a standstill I was saving lives right I'm often the last hope for a lot of people that's their words not mine and I was saving businesses but I wasn't saving my own I almost gave up back in 2017 I got really disillusioned with the coaching industry where I was seeing these false lights do really well and really lead their clients astray with a lot of toxic positivity just be happy just think positive and really leaving their beautiful clients feeling like there was something wrong with them because they just couldn't get there they they weren't acknowledging their dark side the problems that were really going on I'm not saying this across the board it's just what I was seeing at the time and of course you see what you need right so that does not that's not lost on me and then I realized I thought you know what whilst I also specialize in helping clients heal from narcissistic abuse I've been releasing this narc template off my clients businesses lives too but I never realized that's actually what I was doing because I never even called it that and it's not actually a phrase it's not a technical term or anything like that but the knock template is my phrase for describing why I'm seeing so many talented women like us fall under the radar when really we should be front and center and that's why I'm beginning to really talk about it now because I'm seeing how many businesses are being hurt by it and largely it goes unconscious by a lot of talented healers who are incredible at what they do they haven't realized this might be running through their businesses I've coached hundreds of women probably thousands I've said thousands and hundreds interchangeably throughout the years I haven't counted but it's a lot over the last 17 years to heal and so lately I have been consciously helping business owners release the narc template they might still be running in their business which is really interesting it's really profound so let's give you an example right if they've grown up with narcissistic abuse for example and they've cleared it from their personal lives but a finding that they are supporting their clients so magnificently and their business isn't supporting them back including financially then that knock template needs to be released it's often the missing link I have to say 90% of my clients have always been business owners and whilst I've always done this with clients I've never actually honed in on it like I am now I'm seeing it everywhere so many light workers are running this knock template I know I just said it I have to say again it is really out there right now we've all got levels to reach and I'm just like you I'm up leveling by continuing to personally release the knock template from my business that's how I'm up leveling and I feel like I'm probably always gonna be up leveling in this area so as you know my clients usually double or triple their income and so I've taken what I've done with them and created a new like template to put in its place and the reason I feel like I'm always gonna be releasing the knock template isn't because it's an endless job that's never gonna win bloody hell no way but it's because I'm always gonna be up leveling and sometimes you don't know often you don't know what you don't know we've grown up whether you have experienced narcissistic abuse growing up or later on in life right and you're running that through your business that template through your business I'm gonna talk about in a minute what that actually means regardless of whether you have or not we have all been living in a narcissistic template a narcissistic world template where the global narcissists are at the top right literally harvesting our energy for their own use and so we are exhausted we're giving giving giving and we're not really receiving what we need back like how expensive is it to buy a house crazy thinking of what most people would earn okay and how crazy that we would work five days a week and only rest two and we're not really resting those two days are we were often really busy it might be a snapshot of four hours at the weekend if we're lucky who set that up I used to ask that question all the time when I was a teenager like who this a thing who decided it was gonna be like this and everybody would just kind of laugh at me thinking I hadn't learned the ways of the world yet no I've just come in with knowledge probably like you that it's all a load of bullshit you must be joking we're meant to be really thriving not constantly on this rabbit wheel rabbits don't go on the wheel do they whatever whatever the wheel is so what is the knock template and how do you know that you're running it the knock template is where you're running a narcissistic template through a part of your life like your business with the 80-20 rule so no matter how much you give you get very little back very little of what you need back you may even get hurt back you may even get attacked you may even get rejected right so it may spill into all of that too just like narcissistic abuse when it's all about them and it's never about you and it's exhausting and it means you can't do what you came here to do no matter how much you give to your business it's a bottomless pit right so like me you have probably crossed your I's crossed your T's sorry dotted your I's you have got a gorgeous website maybe you really care about your clients you have a beautiful client experience and your clients come out of it feeling amazing their lives turn around and yet you're still kind of treading water you're not where you know you're meant to be so your business takes from you but does not give you the support love and money you put into it and this may have been going on for decades decades right I remember coaching a woman a woman a woman I don't know what it is today I remember coaching a woman who had been in business for over 20 years and she never really made it past her first income level she'd never gone above the income ceiling she'd never reached the people she wanted to reach and she had used her sister's know-how her sister was a marketer she has used her friends her friends were helping her one of her friends was a publicist and was getting her information out and she's like Marina my stuff's really good but it's not getting me the traction that I'm seeing other people get in their businesses right and this doesn't just mean apply to if you're a healer this could be any business you're doing right anything at all anywhere where you're helping somebody and literally within the first six weeks of us working on the snark template to release it from her business she just got this huge injection of cash she got $10, 000 coming in right she couldn't believe it she couldn't believe it and what had changed literally nothing she was still the same person she was still coaching in the same way as she'd always coached right she was still healing she was a healer as well still healing her clients right the same beautiful way that she did she was a masseuse as well nothing had changed everything the same right but releasing that knock template changed everything it changed the vibration the energy the dynamics of her business and I've got countless stories where I can tell you about so many incredible businesses where now these women are and some guys I will say I do work with guys as well are literally out there they may have cleared the knock template from their personal lives but now they have cleared it from their business lives and they are making the impact that they were born to make and honestly if you're listening to this I know you're made for big impact you wouldn't be attracted to what I speak about if you weren't you just wouldn't so if you've tried so many things you're not alone Allah I'm here too I can totally relate because I've been there and I'm right with you and I also know how to get out of it I'm literally seeing more light workers that have this knock template running right now through their businesses through their brilliant beautiful businesses more than any other group of people simply because they've endured the most narcissistic abuse particularly if you identify yourself as empathic or more of a feely type you would have definitely experienced way more one-sided relationships you've probably walked away from them now maybe you're turning to your business and going well if I'm gonna be helping you earth get up and out there I need to get this happening okay and you know that the old ways are not gonna work for you anymore because we can't go back into the old ways right now it's about getting really focused and really paying ourselves the attention that we deserve and I'm gonna go into that in a little bit you know you're running the knock template if you're giving more than you're receiving in your business right beautiful so I'm gonna say that again you know you're running the knock template if you're giving more than you're receiving in your business are you are your clients better off than you maybe they have more money than you maybe they have more resources at their disposal maybe they go on more holidays than you I just just look just notice have your clients got more time than you right can they easily afford you but can you afford you right could you afford you right now I know so many of my clients like yeah no I can't I literally can't I'm just giving giving giving so before I go any further I would really appreciate you referencing me if using the name the knock template and if you don't I know I'm still running it hmm so literally all jokes aside it would be lovely for us to support and share each other's work without passing it off as our own so if this is really striking a chord in you and you are interested in this absolutely please share it with my name attached to it it's something that I've created and also please share this podcast to others who you know need this who you know will benefit from this we rise together let's not keep anybody the best-kept secret anymore I think I said it in my last podcast just as we've got every single plan on this planet for every particular element so we have every single person on this planet for every particular element too so we all rise by doing what we are specialists in some of us are going to overlap a little bit but we all have our individual signature frequency signature our energy signature and that cannot be copied the birds are just like yes so a great way to release the knock template a great way to begin if you if this is like really resonating with you a great way to release the knock template from your business is to begin with these questions is my business treating me as a narcissist would so if you think about any narcissists that you've known in your life or anybody where it's all about them it's not about you or their self-absorbed think about how they used to treat you when you knew them and you may still be releasing yourself from some of these relationships now so sending you lots of love and hugs and strength if that's you amazing are they did they treat you as your business is treating you now so think about that you might want to write down some of the things that they did or some of their traits and go right is my business doing the same thing get clarity or clarity is your freedom is my business abusing my energy always taking but rarely giving me back what I need what does it take from you what is your business take from you right now does it take your time does it take your money is it taking your attention in brackets off you like a lot like sometimes maybe you're even getting downloads that are for you but you're immediately turning them into a social media post you're not even getting the benefit you're not even spending enough time with yourself to actually use that download for yourself so if so ask yourself right if you kind of go yeah you know what mm-hmm I'm really resonating with this if so what can I do this week to give less so I receive more time for myself what can I do this week to give less so I receive more time for myself will that be in writing a shorter newsletter this week would that be in cancelling meetings that I know and not actually supporting me does that mean making sure my client sessions finish on time apart from the inner healing we need around this right that's that's the game changer that's the most important part like any healing the external actions that we take during the week are incredibly important to maintaining the vibration that you found and created during your healing beyond your healing so if you go and clear and heal stuff internally how do you keep that vibration will sort of it will stay but it's in all the little decisions that we make during the day afterwards and the weeks and the years afterwards that are gonna lift our vibration or lower our vibration gonna keep our vibration in into alignment in the alignment to the shifts that we've made internally or massively out of alignment right out of the changes so we've got choices and if you take some action steps this week and you might say you know what I'm really gonna spend more time on me and it might be that you just spend longer than you usually would you give yourself more attention than you usually would you stay with yourself more than you usually would you don't allow yourself to be distracted for five or ten minutes longer today you might decide to really make a beautiful plate of food for yourself and rather than just putting it on your plate and go oh whatever I don't count I'm hungry I'm gonna eat you place it on your plate so it delights you so it pleasures you these little decisions are gonna keep your vibration high these little decisions right every single time you do something for you it's gonna match the healing that you've done it's gonna raise your vibration out of the knock templates gonna continue to raise your vibration up and out of this knock template that you may have been running and into a brand new light template that we want all around you because right now to redress the balance your week needs to be a whole lot more about you right that's how you're gonna redress the balance if you continue giving giving giving 80% and only allowing yourself to receive 20% back you are perpetuating that old dynamic that old template as I've said before we need the global knocks who have run this planet for thousands of years hey where do we need them on the bottom who do we need at the top the real light leaders you need the ones that have been mostly hidden from sight we need us now on the top because we're the real deal and releasing can honestly say releasing the knock template from my business and continuing to do so oh my god s it is continuing to up level my business in every single area and I'm so glad it got downloaded to me I'm because I feel like I'm totally a worthy recipient because I have grappled with this so much and just know that if that's you right now I am right with you you are amazing you are worthy of everything that you are wanting you are worthy of everything that you're wanting to achieve in your business and you will get that you just need to give yourself the right kind of support and if you haven't found it yet consider this literally consider this and give yourself exactly what you need within healing and within your week it's us that resets our vibration it doesn't matter what they do and what you find that with all healing what you find is there'll be those that will rise up with us they'll just shift they'll just adjust somebody suddenly maybe maybe your your your assistant your VA comes up to you she'll come up to you because she's virtual right but she'll email you an idea that she's had and maybe before all she ever did was the per functionary side of the business whatever you gave her she did but she never had ideas for you she never shared your work with her friends now perhaps you shift she shifts she starts really being a really valid incredible supporter which is why you've got her on in the first place or maybe your VA is a guy right or whatever doesn't matter when we heal people either lift up with us or if they can't keep up with our healing pace for want of a better phrase they just drop away and they may catch up another time that's cool there's no oh I'm better than you you none of that there's literally stepping out of the old timeline some will come with and into the new and I can tell you now from where I sit it is glorious so I'm sending you lots of love lots of beachy waves and looking out of the ocean as I am recording this the Sun is gorgeous it's like the sky's blue and it's kind of got pinky orangey kind of slashes through the sky and just like life just like breathing in and out as we exhale and give out so we must receive and breathe in so I'm wishing you a bucket load of receiving that it's just for you because you deserve all the love all the recognition and all the support in the world because that's what you're giving out right and it deserves now to come back from your business not coming into other areas of your life where you're more open it deserves now to come back through your business to give you the very lifestyle and to give you the expansion in this planet that you created your business in the first place for right you created your business to help more and more people and to give you a lifestyle that was gonna leave you free and you utterly deserve it so I'm gonna give my voice a rest thank you so much for listening I hope this has really loved and supported you today and I'm gonna blow you a beautiful kiss see you next time thank you for turning yourself on with me please leave me a gorgeous review which helps me to serve you and come find me at Marina J dotnet for support and at Marina J coaching for Instagram Facebook and YouTube for glitter bombs of inspiration because you're not on your own and if you have you by your side you'll never be on your own again give yourself a big hug wrap your arms around yourself and thank yourself for all that you are as you give thanks for all that you are becoming