In this episode of the podcast we talk about training your brain to be happy How do you cultivate a positive mindset and put it into practice?
Honest and open to all religions all traditions all ages and all levels of experience radically accessible Pragmatic and eye-opening simply for everyone welcome to the project mindfulness podcast We'll take you on a journey across the globe and talk with other meditators about their practice the lessons They have learned and what they want the world to know good day and welcome to season 2 of the project mindfulness podcast This is episode number 5 of season 2 and I'm Christian nethison your host Thank you for joining us in this episode I have a talk with Dana wild about training your brain for happiness and success As you might have noticed it took a little bit longer to publish this episode I've been moving to another country and got a new job and basically we just found a new place to live And we'll be moving in there from January on So I imagine that from January on it will be easier for me to More frequently upload episodes,
But for now,
We'll just continue on a less frequent publishing schedule so to say and I'm hope I hope you you'll be sticking with us and enjoy the past episodes and we'll enjoy this one and Hopefully the future episodes and for those of you following us on insight timer I'm super happy to see that you are the universe reach over 11,
000 plays And it's really amazing to me that so many people across the world are listening to this song and Find a little bit more peace and happiness and hopefully some good sleep through it.
So that's really amazing.
Thank you all and Without further ado,
Let's dive into this episode Joining me on the podcast today is a Dana wild Dana is a brain trainer Entrepreneur speaker podcast host and author of the best-selling book train your brain And welcome to the podcast Dana happy to have you here.
Hi Christian.
I'm so happy to be here,
Too Thanks for having me awesome.
So Dana how and when did you discover mindfulness in your own life?
Well,
I would say that I first started being interested in meditation even as early as high school and my late teens But I don't think I took it seriously until I was probably more like late 20s early 30s Right.
And so what was the reason that you didn't take it serious for a for time?
Well,
I think it's it's more like I am an even now.
I'm a very active person I'm an active,
You know mind and life and I'm happy and I think even yeah It's like times 20 and it was like are you kidding sit down and be quiet for minutes?
Like You know,
Right and then I ended up becoming really good friends when I was about 26 with I was traveling in Mexico and I became friends with a Canadian woman who was a holistic doctor she was just graduating and she Handed me a book about beginner meditation.
That was fantastic And it kind of just started me down this path brain training path already But the mindfulness path was a little different.
Yeah,
And and the brain training path How did you end up on there?
Was it something that already interested you when you were younger or how did you go into that field?
Yeah Oh my gosh,
You know I was one of these kids in high school who always had my head in a book and I was raised in the near that was Kind of benefiting from the 70s movement of I'm okay.
You're okay and all these Psychology books.
All right I was reading so much stuff just on what I would consider psychology And then I went right from high school into the workforce and I was working for a major corporation in the US And it was one of these cubicle jobs and I was so miserable It's just the worst but the one thing that came out of it that I really liked was they Brought in a guy named Lou Tice who was from the Seattle area in the US and he taught people How your brain works it was really interesting and I thought this is amazing and they gave us like a 40-hour course And how your brain works and that's when I first discovered like what you think about literally creates your outcomes It's not like you hear so many Phrases in the positive thinking movement like oh what you focus on grows and you know what you know what you think about?
But he really just showed us step by step how your brain works.
And so I was psyched I was 19 years old and I quit the cubicle job My grand adventure,
You know,
I just started thinking like okay if I can do whatever I want to do then it starts now Thank you so much for the training Awesome,
So he opened up a whole door for you there in terms of what you wanted to do with your life Yeah,
It was it just changed everything and you know as you do and especially for me at that age And I don't mean they're the young people today are a lot more plugged in than I was then,
You know We're talking 40 years ago.
We weren't so we weren't as plugged in as they are now I You know you you go on your pack then you live your adventure and you stay on Target with your mindfulness and your brain training and then you have a whole year where you forget all about it Yeah They go.
Oh,
Right.
I forgot.
Yeah positive thoughts and then you get back on track again,
You know so it was a you know that kind of a Wavering path for many years up until about I don't know I'd say about 15 20 years ago when I really dug into What I'm doing now Right.
I mean it seems to be part of it,
Right that you discover something and then you really soak it up all the way And then somehow you you have to let it go or you naturally let it go or you just feel like well I'm done with it.
And then after it's gone,
You're you're suddenly like,
Wait a minute actually that works because right now I'm miserable Or right now I'm not feeling as good as when I was doing that That's exactly right.
It's exactly right and it's all valuable Like I'm a really big follower of Abraham Hicks and I love their philosophy that those kind of moments where things aren't going,
Right?
You know those are step one moments where you're doing a lot of asking and you're You know creating it's really if you think about the polarity of life You can't be happy unless you know what sadness is you can't grow unless you have The gross comes in the times when we're not feeling so good because if we're feeling good We're just bobbing around going like okay.
I feel good.
I feel good I feel that I feel good,
But you don't really have big desires or wants or you know things that Help you to catapult to the next thing and yeah,
So I think the down times are just as beneficial as the up times and they're all growth moments and This is this is a grand adventure.
I mean,
What are we doing here?
You know this adventure Yeah,
No doubt.
I mean Learning to well,
I wouldn't say love but to deal with those down moments and also I like to describe it as almost like a cold shower of feelings sometimes that you have so for instance as an example I'm at work and I'm doing something and suddenly I realize like oh I still have to do that one thing and that that's not necessarily a pleasant feeling It could be a little bit like overwhelming or a little bit like easily Triggering stress,
But like the more and more I dig into mindfulness The less this feeling of shock so to say which what seems to be sort of the thing that happens with when when you feel or when you you know Do something and it doesn't work out it's you you get used to it and you're able to deal with it better than At least for me like three four years ago when I would probably just leave you just you know escape Just do something to fight it or or not feel that again Yeah,
Or feel this stress too.
Like it's the worst and you know,
It's funny.
I first of all,
I love that Visual of the cold shower feelings.
That's really an interesting visual and so thanks for sharing that And the other piece too is you know You're right about you may have that thing that comes up and you can feel yourself in that moment of stress or that moment of overwhelm or that moment of like oh man,
I'm never gonna get all this done and What's nice is that when you're practicing this as your lifestyle when you're practicing like Being present and knowing that when you're present.
It's like time will slow down for you And I love that about mindfulness,
You know So you have that moment of stress you have that feeling and then you catch yourself and you bring yourself in the moment You go,
Okay.
Hold on It's gonna be fine,
You know,
Take a deep breath and it's like you for me I tell myself like just let time slow down for you.
You've got all sorts of time right now The gap is really big.
So just let it happen And it's wonderful.
It's like suddenly all of those things that used to be Stressful moments that would catapult the next thing and the next thing and like you said for you It might be going to hide or running away or you know for me it might be snapping at somebody or being critical And all of that goes away from your life because you start to understand that You are in control of your experience.
You're in control of all of it.
The the good the bad the ugly all of it.
It's Your through your lens and your perception and your responsibility.
I guess I'll use for lack of a better word Yeah,
Absolutely I I completely agree with that,
But I imagine that for a lot of people when they hear that They can't do anything with it it's it's um You know,
I I remember I I know um Someone we had early on the podcast He also said um,
I read a post from him and he said something like I think he meant in like a an sort of You know,
It's a strong way to express it.
I think it's a strong way to express it you know,
It's a strong way to express like everything is your fault and not as a as a Way to you know,
It's a wake-up call and I think that that can be very tough for a lot of people to to hear that you know things are As they make them like for instance my mother she had a very tough youth and My mom is really trying to grasp,
You know The teachings of écartola being in the present mindfulness,
But sometimes she still comes back to this point where She seems to be suffering from those things of the past and she doesn't know how to change that and I think um that that's such a You know,
How do you um deal with that?
What would you say to someone like that?
Because I find it very hard sometimes to explain it in a way that is not coming off as um You're not you're doing something wrong.
You know what i'm saying?
I totally know what you're saying and especially in our culture in the us There's a lot of victim blaming and so it can be you know Really some fine treading on how you talk about these things because we all are part of our we are part of our own Experience we are affected by our own experience and the things that happen to us affect us without a doubt You know,
We're we're culturally inundated with things We you know,
It's I always try to be thinking even just from my own perspective Of owning my own mind rather than letting the culture own my mind Yeah,
We're we've gotten so many billboards and advertising a message So I don't want to stray too far here.
But the the thing I try to help people understand in my work is that I have a phrase that I use and the phrase is the problem is not the problem The problem is that I keep thinking and talking about the problem The problem is not the problem.
The problem is that you keep thinking and talking about the problem,
Right?
Right,
We tend to get in this idea that the problem Is that I had a bad childhood or the problem is that that person posted something really awful about me on facebook Or the problem is that I just got fired from my job But those things aren't really the problem The the problem is when you keep those things alive By talking and thinking about them so one of my primary goals with my business like my mission is to help people to understand That we live in a place where people care about the food they eat They care about the car they drive they care about the house They live in and the clothes they wear and I want people to start caring about the thoughts they think And people say yeah,
But i'm not in control of it My thoughts are thinking me and I can't help but it just comes to me And so usually I do an exercise with them and we can do it right now if you like Oh,
Yeah,
Sure.
I love to It's a silly silly exercise But I I just say okay close your eyes and I want you to imagine a turtle And now actually make it a cartoon turtle And make sure it's a green cartoon turtle And actually put a yellow hat on the green cartoon turtle And put a red feather and the yellow hat Well all of those sentences that I said you can open your eyes because that's just how silly the exercise is All of those sentences I said Generate a visual because the brain thinks in pictures And so at any given moment when you're practicing mindfulness or awareness or being present in the moment At any given moment,
You can do what I call bust yourself on thinking That's feel bad thinking That's feel bad thinking and right?
Okay.
This is a time.
I could be doing anything with this computer of a brain in my head So I think i'll just imagine a cartoon turtle and laugh a little bit in this particular moment because I can be a proactive Thinker in my head just like I can be a proactive Eater choosing my foods or clothes or whatever.
They are.
Does that make sense?
Yeah,
And I think it's completely mind-blowing that That is the case that literally You know we choose what we put our attention on and what we put our attention on defines In a way our reality in our life.
Yeah,
That's so crazy and christianne.
I want to make sure and Clarify that sometimes it's easier than others.
You know if i'm Crabby or tired or I haven't gotten enough sleep or I haven't eaten anything.
I'm not going to think positive thoughts either You know i'm going to be crabby and i'm going to say i'm going to use the abraham hick solution of just go take a nap Go to sleep and reset and i'm going to recharge but the idea here it's about Desire and practice and if you have a desire to be happy live a happier life It's it's just a matter of practicing those happy thoughts and finding ways to talk about the situations in ways that feel good And not phony like I am abundant and money is flowing to you know But really just doing your best to give yourself a break and You know if the best and like in the case of your mom if the best she can do is to be like,
Okay I'm doing it again.
I'm not going to beat myself up about it.
I'm feeling bad.
It's okay that i'm feeling bad I'm i'm going to find my way.
I'm going to find a method that works for me.
Things are going to be okay I'm i'm getting better at this every day.
This is just a little step back.
Maybe I do need to just take a little sleep Or have something to eat like it does Yeah to be this bounce off the ceiling positive excitement talk.
It can just be being nicer to ourselves Yeah,
That sounds completely Realistic.
I mean as you mentioned before you have um,
You have some speakers who are very much about the positivity but they seem to almost Push away to negativity with positivity.
So to say so becomes like a struggle or almost like a uh a war between those two polarities But that's that's ridiculous because for me it doesn't work.
I can't push away negativity with positivity.
It just becomes suppressed And so it's all about accepting what you resist persists,
Right?
Absolutely.
Yeah So that makes total sense what you say and I couldn't agree more And it's also funny that you mentioned desire because I just read a post about um in buddhism They say the the desire to like it was a joke the desire to end desire is still a desire and I mean On one hand some people said yes and but on the other hand there were people that said no because The point is that because the desire to end desire it's at certain point just stops and I think that that um,
The desire to be happy in the end is a desire that that Ends sort of this this eating desire of wanting to have more things because you're you're much more in a state where either you You do things or you get things or you don't but there's no You know,
There's no longing for something that is eating you up at least that that's how I feel about it.
It's like Yeah,
Very good.
Very interesting comments.
I just so much direction we can go here and that That hits me is that you know with Happiness,
I've got two primary things to say about it.
And the first one is most the time we Desire things because we think they're going to bring us happiness But when happiness becomes the end goal when you're the quote unquote desire is just to live a happier life or be happy in any moment now you already have the peace and you have the Awareness and the centeredness and the mindfulness and the joy in the moment and so you're not seeking anymore You're not out there seeking so much now.
Does that mean you don't have goals or things that look like they'd be the next fun thing to do Yes.
Oh my gosh.
I got a list of my law Fun thing i'm going to do in this adventure of you know amusement park that where i'm here in life Second thing is that I come from a business entrepreneurial background And that's who I work with like i'm i'm focused on helping people build Million dollar businesses because i've built a couple of them through doing this train your brain and so Part of that's what's core to my message is that happiness is practical It's not only like oh it feels good But you live a better life and you get better results when you're happy because you're using a better brain You know when you're feeling negative,
You're shutting down all the creative pathways in your brain When positive you open them up and so you have access to better ideas You show up in the world better people like you better.
You like them better.
You have better Engagement and conversation and you get better results you get into the zone And you do something and it's just like wow,
This is just flowing and everything's happening so if people in this world we tend to use action or Drudgery or trudging through things to get things done or you just got to discipline yourself or you got to work harder or It doesn't really count unless you get out of your comfort zone or unless it's hard And what what we say in the train your brain sandbox is no it's opposite of all of that It's like feel good first then take action do things that are that you love to do Do the things that are your natural gifts don't make yourself do a bunch of stuff you hate Use your best brain be your best self live your best life and it all starts with focusing in that moment and taking a look taking a hear of your thoughts and Deciding like is does this feel good?
Is this going to?
Is there's a thought I could be thinking now That would help me to feel better Right when happiness is your starting point Everything else gets easier Yeah,
Yeah makes sense and from that moment on That you sort of discovered that you could train your brain and You left the the cubicle life so to say and you made a change How did that happen?
Did you start to study more about the brain or how did you get into?
Sort of this this training of the brain I did I did study more about it.
I've read so many different things out there.
It's been just crazy But most importantly,
I've practiced it and I think the single biggest piece of information That affected me and I don't even know where I picked it up along the way but when I figured out that each and every one Of us has inside of our brains a part of the brain called the reticular activating system That shifted everything for me.
So the reticular activating system.
I like to describe it like a little matchmaker that lives in your head In the moment you're sitting in right now like look around wherever you are and look at the world Colors and sounds and sensations and stimulation on the skin and even smells and all this stuff coming at us Well,
The reticular activating system system reticular actuating system sifts through all of that and it matches or it looks for Whatever you're thinking about whatever you're talking about and most people have had this experience in one way or another where like they're thinking of buying a car And they start to see that car everywhere or right or you know,
They're thinking about uh,
Sometimes women It's like they get pregnant.
They see pregnant women or sometimes I had a guy interview me once he's like,
Oh my gosh We just had a baby and i'm seeing babies everywhere That's what it does.
And so the thing that I try to help people to do Is use it more proactively understand that it's not just about the body What you do is use it more proactively understand that if you intentionally are thinking something in your head You'll start to see it within 72 hours.
It starts to work So that's what I was putting into place.
Like you said,
What did I do after I first started discovering this?
I started playing not only studying more I Left the us.
I went and lived out of a backpack for 10 years mostly in asia And I wow,
I've been right and right and I played with this.
I just played with it and then came back and here I am right Wow I mean this this um It's sort of what you become aware of you you tend to see again and I can really connect with that because Sometimes like it doesn't happen that often but sometimes there's there's something happening and I get a little bit paranoid And then I I know like lately I know when that comes up.
I'm like,
Uh-oh really don't like zoom in on that because It will really look like people are laughing at you and it will really look like You know those kids are like looking weird at you and you know,
It becomes this whole For people whoever the drugs they they might recognize this this feeling of like paranoia that completely can take over And it seems so incredibly realistic and the weird thing about it is that people are responding to that energy?
Or that that sort of you know the state you're in yes So it's yeah,
That's so good.
That's exactly what a great great explanation.
It's so true It's like it is that old whatever you focus on grows and there it is times 10,
You know,
Yeah Yeah,
Accidentally and you know good for you for having the wherewithal in the moment to say like,
Okay Hold on Yeah,
Think about this Yeah,
Because it's horrible.
I've been down that road a few times and it's it's so uncomfortable because it really It I don't know.
It just it's so weird and I feel like No,
I don't want to go in there because I know that It might all seem like that when I'm in there,
But it's not really It's not really there.
So to say it's like you really Define that reality and I mean,
I said a little bit about drugs.
I Few times in my life like a few years back.
I've tried some drugs Not a lot of psychedelics,
But I tried for instance MDMA,
Which is all about I think dopamine releasing those and you get incredibly happy and After that you feel bad for four days or something.
You feel incredibly tired and and drained But what I learned from that is that you can Like I just went to the same place that I went to when I did that I did the same things that I did when I you know took the drug and it worked Like literally the same sort of pathway opened up of happiness of openness of joy And it was so mind-blowing for me because I was like,
Wait a minute.
I mean that drug just Helped me to realize that there is always this option in every moment to to shift You know between sort of positive and negative to towards openness or closeness and you You are the director to that.
I think that's so incredible Yeah,
And it gives you it also gives you the experience of it so that you can Know that there's a set point,
You know when you have that kind of experience of ultimate happiness now You can go back to that,
You know,
Like that exists I can tap into that and there are ways to tap into that.
There's an old joke.
I wish I could remember It's not even a joke.
It's actually a real true story But I'm sorry that I don't remember who it pertained to but it was some you know,
Very important spiritual person in India,
You know,
And and Somebody was gave him four hits of lsd He took the four hits of lsd and he didn't have any reaction to it at all And the analogy drawn to it was they said well when you're already in cleveland You don't need to take a bus to get there and right it was like if you're already that high and feeling good You don't need to take that to get there.
Yeah And so I think there is there is some of that with drugs I think they're really useful for the reasons that you talked about if somebody is drawn to them And they get the experience out of it and the lesson out of it And on the other hand,
I think there are also all the ways to do it too.
Yeah,
Absolutely I think mindfulness.
I mean,
It's an amusement park.
We are here You know people I was being interviewed the other day and I was like come on We are human consciousness.
We are conscious beings walking around in these Meat suits.
Why are we all not talking about that all day every day?
I'm not going like what is going on here?
And so yeah,
It'd be except that we're supposed to be having this multitude of different experiences Some people taking drugs some people not some people getting jobs.
Some people not I mean all sorts of Variety because we're here to experience it all.
Yeah Yeah,
And I mean there's there's such a wide spectrum of things that you can experience and By training your your your mind at least from for me what I you know,
What you do with mindfulness You train you learn to direct your attention There's just so much possible But as you said,
I feel that um in mindfulness is really a gift that Doesn't really have any Negative consequences Not like a drug that you take and you're like,
Oh after that you feel drained or It's like no,
There's no drawback to mindfulness.
It's it's free.
It's there's you don't need any Well,
You need to learn it.
But then you know It just works and it just gets better and better and better.
I mean,
That's the fun of it I think you know,
How am I different now than I was?
30 some whatever years ago when I first started learning about brain training I I feel like I'm more relaxed I have more of a knowing like things are gonna turn out do never get angry Oh,
No,
I get it all the time.
It's usually at my computer Right You know,
I have all sorts of moments where it's like,
Okay,
I'm off center,
But you don't label it I'm bad anymore.
You label it like okay.
I'm off center.
I'm not aligned right now And I know the primary to me is emotional alignment and being As emotional aligned and present and on the path of joy As often as possible and when i'm not it's not that big of a deal,
You know,
It's just like okay this is the way it's going and you know,
There are some practical things that I think people can do to talk to themselves in ways that feel good That for people who haven't been able to use the normal kind of quote-unquote affirmations or normal kind of positive thinking stuff And I can share one of the best ones with you right now.
Oh,
Yeah,
Please I think one of the best ones that Work for people who have what they might call the Deep-seated beliefs about things there's a power word in the english language And i'll be really curious what it is in other languages around the world.
I always share this but the word is but And and we're told here in the u.
S.
To avoid the word but and don't talk about it,
But it's that's misinformation Because the word but is one of your power words and it's so powerful because what it does is it negates everything that comes before it And it's so powerful So if you have a habit of thought that you think is limiting you in any way You can just add the word but after it and then add a new sentence That's a more positive sentence.
There's more of a feel-good sentence after it And you fix it.
So somebody has a thought of like,
Um,
I had a bad childhood But i'm learning how to be more present in every moment You know,
I'm learning how to be more present in every moment Your brain did not hear anything that came before the Your brain and your reticular activating system only hears what comes after the butt Right,
You just did is you just did an affirmation that sounds like you know,
I'm i'm getting better at it Like i'm learning how to do it.
So it's like I um Any and you can use it for anything like even things that are,
You know,
I'm disorganized But yeah,
And this is actually what y'all do those of you with the really messy desks I'm just organized,
But I know where everything is I'm just i'm a procrastinator But i'm just waiting for the energy to align and I get things done on time.
I get things done when I need to i'm Uh,
And we use it in business.
There's this idea that you have to be an extrovert to be successful So people who are shy are at the disadvantage in their minds And I say just say i'm shy but clients like my style.
I'm shy,
But i'm finding clients.
I'm shy,
But i'm building my business anyway And so what happens is now in order to live a successful life You don't need to change,
You know,
Most of the world is out there telling you You have to be different.
You have to change you have to be more perfect.
Here's the list of things you should fix You know,
You can't be successful unless you do all these things and what i'm trying to tell people is you're exactly fine like you are now Just talk about it differently.
But you know,
The problem is not the problem It's the problem is how you're talking and thinking about it.
And so start to find words that feel good that make it easy to talk about something And you'll start to get different results Right.
Yeah,
That makes total sense.
I mean So around the topic of thinking like successful people think How much different is that actually from let's say that the common person and their thoughts I think it's a really big,
You know,
I have a kind of a phrase that I use where I say if you line up 100 successful people And you ask them,
How did you do it?
They're all going to give you different answers They're going to say,
You know,
You have to be on facebook or you have to go to networking meetings or the next one will say do trade shows,
You know But the one thing that they all have in common is the way they think and I think i've narrowed it down To almost one word on what the difference is and the word is expectation You know,
They have a different expectation for success And they don't know it.
It's not like they're trying to withhold information You know,
They just you know,
You say how did you become successful?
They don't go well I found that I think different thoughts and I have a higher expectation Nobody says that,
You know,
You know But that is really the thing they have in common and so if you can start to think thoughts that feel more hopeful And rather than frustrated You have just crossed a huge chasm On the way to moving toward more success,
You know thinking more hopeful thoughts.
Your brain will start to Take over and you'll start to believe more believing thoughts And you'll start to get more in a state of knowing and that's when you really get that positive expectation working.
Does that make sense?
Absolutely.
I haven't talked about that a lot.
That's a really good question and I hope that that makes sense Yeah,
It makes total sense So it's it's really to do with um hope right?
It's it's a hopeful That's the starting point those hope You know if you one of the things i'm going to give you an example of is Hope,
You know if you one of the things i'm going to give you another silly exercise.
Nobody's gonna like my exercise Oh,
They love it I love it to do if you're having a moment where you're frustrated or you're overwhelmed Just start saying a bunch of sentences in a row that start with the words.
I hope so It's like well,
I hope I start to feel better.
I hope I can Find a way to get out of this.
I hope something shifts.
I hope I start to feel better.
I hope something shifts I hope I start to feel better.
I hope I can think of another hope sense I hope someone just comes out of the blue and fixes this for me I hope this gets fixed by the end of the day I hope you know if you do that for two minutes Your brain will just start to take over because the the piece that I think people forget,
You know It's kind of a knowing that I think we have but the thoughts that you think Generate the emotions you feel and so when you are Thinking more hopeful thoughts intentionally just sentences,
You know If I sit here and say those sentences over and over and over again everybody's going to start to feel better because you can't focus on Hope for any length of time without starting to get the momentum moving and I feel like hope is the entry point Into better and better and better feelings.
And so at the very least Be more hopeful and say those hope sentences and you're you're on your way,
You know,
Yeah Yeah,
That makes sense.
Um,
I do remember like There was a time where I enjoyed the idea of hope but I always felt like you know,
You always have to be realistic And and somehow those two always conflicted in my mind I'm so glad you brought this up,
Especially the political climate that we've got these days,
Right?
Yeah,
I'm sorry.
Did I cut you off?
Did you have more you wanted to say?
No,
Please go ahead.
You didn't cut me off at all Well,
Here's the thing the because I have a history of Of history way back in the day I was one of these radical women who was part of a group a founding member of a group called women for social Justice and we would go get arrested.
So i've been arrested many many times on you know,
Social justice causes issues and things And it felt good.
It was great because if you think about it when you're feeling powerless And you get angry It feels really good like you're finally taking back your power and you're moving along the emotional scale and you're doing these radical things And so I didn't know it at the time,
But that's what I was doing I was I was taking back my power and getting angry felt really good What i've learned since then is that As I mentioned earlier When you are in a negative frame of mind when you're feeling negative emotions You don't have access to the best part of your brain and the best ideas and an angry movement uh will attract other angry people and you aren't necessarily Attracting the right kind of people that can create sustainable change And so it's not that you don't see what's happening around you or that you're burying your head in the sand But what you're choosing to do is paint a vision for the future That people want to get on board with you know,
So people might say You know,
And I certainly don't want to get into talks about politics,
Which is why i'm in business You know,
But good choice about how hopeless things are with the environment or things like that and from that feeling of hopelessness and Horribleness and powerlessness There's no forward movement and there's no action But if you talk about we live in a very exciting time right now Never before in the history of the planet have so many people cared about the planet never before in the history of civilization Have so many people done things like recycling and tried to uh start movements and actually care About the products they're using in their house and the consumption that they have never before Have so many people been interested in things like mindfulness and being aware I mean this is an exciting time we live in and when you talk about the quote-unquote problem like that Now what happens is you get a lot of other people that want to be part of your party And want to be part of your movement.
Do you see what I mean?
So yeah for me hope and above Trump's all Does that make sense?
Yeah Trump's trump Well,
Yeah,
I I didn't want to say it but I uh,
I found it a funny uh,
Word there Um when the second it came out with all those like maybe I gotta think of a different phrase No,
Yeah,
That's great.
I think it really um,
It hits the nail on the head You know,
I think those kind of things like politics um Like the environment there there.
They're a super hot topic and I don't even understand is is why does it feel good to be angry and do something about it?
Why does it feel like you're taking back control in comparison to?
Um Not feeling angry.
Well,
The way I like to answer it I I wrote The actual train your brain material in 2003 and then in 2005 I discovered abraham hicks And I was very influenced by their discussion of the emotional scale But their their emotional scale it had 22 levels And so it was a little more challenging for me to navigate and explain to entrepreneurs So I created my own that has eight levels on it And uh,
So the levels are the far,
You know feel bad is powerlessness or despair It goes to fear And then it goes to anger And then kind of frustration and overwhelm and then hope hopefulness as we talked about Belief and then positive expectation then finally like that bliss joy feeling on the end and so Understanding how emotions work based on their material helped me so much because if you've ever been Feeling feelings of powerlessness or fear and then some happy person comes along and says,
You know You create what you think about you should think about it You just want to punch that person right like you right?
I'm gonna be like,
Are you crazy?
Yeah,
No doubt Because you it's too far Along the emotional scale to access that feeling But you can access the feeling of anger and want to punch that person because it's right next door to the feeling of fear or worry And so a lot of times people,
You know I try to remember and I try to remember for myself too when I get angry about something I try to remember like okay five seconds ago.
You felt powerless about your computer So the fact that you're angry you're moving in the right direction Keep moving and you know get more hopeful and you'll start to figure out this problem that you're grappling with on this computer Whatever it is,
Right?
Right.
So so that's why anger feels so good.
I think you know,
And it's not my original idea I got it from them But it resonated as truth for me that when you're feeling powerlessness You can't get happy in that moment.
You just can't it's too far down the road But you can in a moment and in just a few moments move over to fear or then anger And start getting those emotions moving Yeah,
It's interesting because There were times in our life where I felt that anger was almost a very useful vehicle To sometimes get things done.
So it's not necessarily even an anger towards a person But just this general feeling of anger it can make you walk very fast or make you go very far You know,
It's very strong.
It's it's it's really I mean people they always think like oh If you're a positive thinking person,
Then you must think anger is bad I don't think any of those negative emotions are bad I think that's a very strong feeling of anger I don't think any of those negative emotions are bad.
I think they're all useful even despair or powerlessness or whatever you know,
We have sensations all over our skin and when we experience something negative,
You know,
Like we get a little cold We don't go like oh,
This is bad.
I got a cold.
I must be a horrible person No,
We go like,
Okay I'm gonna try to nip it in the bud early on And see where we touch something that's hot We don't go man.
I'm a bad person because I had that experience that sensation of pain in my fingertips We don't do any of that you know we we we realized that they're just kind of indicators of how physically safe we are and and I feel like with Emotions it's just an indicator of where we're at with our alignment in the moment I don't think there's anything wrong with anger because you're right.
You can get a lot of stuff done We got a lot of stuff done as angry women getting arrested.
Let me tell you Yeah,
Right and I mean there's a lot of movies about revenge and whatever and these people they travel Everywhere and they do everything just to get revenge and it's it's like wow Would you have done it the same if you know there there wasn't this anger or this this?
It's funny that that You know,
You can get so much done when you set your mind to it,
But so easily it can be The emotional side of our mind,
You know what?
I mean,
It's like and it's it's a Emotional release in the moment,
But as a sustained plan Anger feels good In the short term But can't stay in that angry mode for any length of time and have it still feel good And that's that's the thing with the emotional scale,
You know is that Ultimately you move from that powerlessness and you get that hit of anger and it feels really good But try to keep yourself angry for any length of time and it's It's not a sustainable Plan of action really right?
And so is that a point where?
Instead of emotions you utilize Like did this affirmation or it is this sort of what is it more of a thought driven?
Idea to get you moving Yes,
All emotions are created from thought and so if you are having an angry emotion It's because you're thinking angry thoughts you're thinking like that person is horrible or I hate this computer or whatever thought you're thinking Is the thought that's generating the angry emotion?
So if you want a new emotion You think a different thought but don't think a thought that's joyful because that's way too far On the emotional scale.
You can't even hear those thoughts.
So you think a thought that's just a little bit over So next over is frustration.
So then you think like well,
Okay I don't hate this computer.
I'm just a little frustrated in the moment And I wish I could get it to work and it's just annoying me a little right now So you kind of tamper it down then you move over to hope and once you get into this help Okay,
I hope I figure this out.
I want to be using my best brain.
I'm gonna other people have figured this out I hope I figure it out.
I'm gonna I'm gonna think about this in a new way You know now you've started to move so even in minutes,
You know,
You you can have if you recognize You know,
This is my piece to the mindfulness discussion In the world is that if you recognize that in any given moment You can Be aware in that moment Make a decision Do I want to keep feeling this way?
Do I want to keep getting these results because my reticular activating system is matching up everything i'm thinking about And if not,
Then step three is how do I get this feeling?
And if not,
Then step three is how do I find a way?
To talk about this current situation in a way that feels good Right,
I start to talk about this and even if the best way that feels good is like,
Okay,
Man This is frustrating that still feels better than being angry I mean,
Yeah,
It's like a stepping stones you use You use those emotions as sort of stepping stones to get where eventually um You want to be?
Yes,
And why do you want to be in a better feeling place?
Because then you have access to a better brain And it's practical you are you are your better self.
You have access to a better brain You're living a better life and you're making better decisions You know so much of our world we're making decisions from places of anger and frustration or sadness or fear and they're You're not making good decisions because you're not using your best brain Right happy and then make the decision Yeah,
That's awesome.
Um,
I want to share a short personal anecdote about that,
Which is um That I remember when it was really warm.
I think it was last summer.
We were still in berlin and um,
I think we were on vacation or something but Um,
You you walk in the sun for a long time and your your brain just gets fried,
Right?
You you You don't have the ability to think clear And I remember at that point I called it shadow thinking and it was like You're only allowed to think when you're in the shadow You're not allowed to think where you're in the sun But that came from that idea what you mentioned like that you when you when you're in the warmth and you feel like uncomfortable because of that warm and you feel like hot and you feel like Too much then your thoughts will also They will not be the best thoughts that you ever had They will be pretty They will be on the wavelength.
You don't want to be necessarily,
You know,
And it was I always have like we have to wait for the shadow Yeah,
Exactly.
Oh my gosh.
And what a great phrase shadow thinking.
It's a little like shadow dancing or shadow boxing except it's shadow thinking Yeah It reminded me so much of what you said Yeah,
It's really true,
You know,
And I think you know for me,
This is a passion.
I want to feel like I'm living the best life and it not so much like when bad things happen that means you don't have a good life or any of that what I Mean by the best life is the most aware life trying to take all of it in as experience and you know enjoyment and present presentness,
I don't know if that's even a word but Every single moment has so much richness in it You know,
It's all there for us and if it's if you can be present But be present in your thinking and be proactive in your thinking not just in your physicality Now you just get so much more out of life Yeah But how do you deal with?
Someone with a negative mindset I mean when I can imagine when you're just starting off to you know,
Like foster this hope you you do your affirmations you You try your best to get into a positive mindset someone who is in a very negative mindset They can almost seem to overshadow Your feelings or your thoughts and how do you deal with that?
I love this question and I hope you love this answer So here's the thing for sure You know,
There was this old salesman that I interviewed one time on my show a long time ago And he used to say the way you you uh,
Become a good salesman Uh become a good salesperson is two people walk in the room and whoever is more committed to their mindset is the one that wins Right,
And so it's a bit it gives me that visual of what you're talking about But I think i've got an even better shortcut for it so Remember how I said a little while ago that learning about the reticular activating system really made me realize like oh my gosh This is the key to everything we're experiencing Nobody likes when I give this answer so brace yourself because you might not like it either Here we go if the reticular activating system is everything if it's matching up Whatever i'm thinking about and whatever i'm talking about all the time Whatever i'm thinking about whatever i'm talking about Then it's matching up what i'm thinking and talking about other people too including the world including everything that's happening And so i'll tell you a little story About this that'll drive home the point I got a call from a friend of mine and I was starting to notice like she was so negative and it was like bad I literally felt like I had to take a shower every time I talked to her and I was talking to my man I'm thinking I think i'm gonna have to stop being friends with so-and-so I don't know what to do and I was telling him the story and I got present in that moment I went oh my gosh,
Dana You know better you can't keep talking about this and think that she's going to show up for you any different way so I trained my brain and I started thinking positive thoughts about her and like Remembering all her quirky little habits and her funny sense of humor and she's got weird hobbies and all the times we had good times And laugh like she's my friend 25 years,
Right?
Right.
So next time I got on the phone with her No surprise.
We had a really really good conversation But here's what the surprise was we got to a point in the conversation And I was just about to ask her about her partner and her daughter Which are the two things that she's really really negative about right I caught myself and I had this huge moment where I was like Who's been dragging the negativity out of her?
It's you dana wild you've been Asking these questions that have been the negativity out of her.
Who's the negative one in this equation?
So it wasn't that and I I totally am Bought into quantum physics and quantum mechanics and the power of thought and all of that But the reality was training my brain about who she was in the world Didn't even have to change her what it did was it changed me And so so when you have those people in your life that are bothering you and we get this a lot with Entrepreneurs where they say like my husband doesn't support me or what my wife doesn't support me And I try to tell them you can't keep saying that And expect them to show up any other way because your brain Your reticular activating system just like it's a brain It's not a brain that's not going to be able to support you It's not going to be able to support you It's not going to be able to support you It's not going to support you It's not going to support you And so if you want them to start showing up for you in a way that looks and feels like support you have to start Talking about it as though it's already happened and your brain will find those moments for you So does that that was a long explanation,
But I hope that makes sense.
Yeah,
It made sense Um,
But but it's as you said,
It's hard.
I think it's hard mostly to wrap your mind around that because um You you start to like Uh,
I can imagine erection can be yeah,
But aren't they responsible for their own mindset?
And so to say yes,
But you're responsible for yours Yeah,
Exactly.
You know,
So here I am.
I'm as positivity and what's my story?
She's so negative.
She's so negative Oh,
She's so negative.
Oh Who's being negative?
Yeah.
Yeah,
It's funny.
It happened to me.
I I I started a new job I love the job.
Actually,
I love almost everything about it But the person who who was like who's doing my job and then i'm taking over from he's like so negative about the whole job And you know it there's nothing more horrible than you being full of energy and life about something new And then there's this person who is like the opposite and he has to explain you everything and he's so negative And I have an experiment for you.
Are you ready?
You're gonna you can try this you can just try this and everybody who's listening can do this So you all have something that you know is bothering you everybody does me too We always all have stuff that we know is like here's the next thing on the list I want to fix right and so what you can start doing starting right now Is for the next 72 hours say like 15 20 30 times a day whenever you think of it as often as you can It feels like something has shifted and be thinking about that particular situation.
It feels like something has shifted I don't know what it is,
But it feels like something has shifted It's so weird ever since that interview with dana wild it feels like it's shifted the brain the power words ever since Very very powerful if the brain hears the word ever since and it goes Yeah,
That happened you had an interview with dana wild and then it thinks because that's true anything you say after it is true The other good thing about the brain is you don't have to tell it Exactly specifically what it is you want to ship it knows it knows what you want to ship because you've been thinking about it And you've been talking about so when you say man,
That's shifted.
It's shifted What you'll see is within 72 hours.
You'll start to see evidence That this is working for you Yeah Are you game are you gonna do it?
Yeah.
Yeah,
I'm definitely gonna do it Yeah,
So put a reminder on your phone It can just come up and you know say like if something shifted 10 times a day or put some post-it notes up that say Something is shifted and just you don't have to be like,
Uh,
You know crazy about it just like as often as you think of it when you're in a moment And you've got a little space in your brain go.
Oh,
Yeah,
I want to say that thing something shifted something shifted You don't even have to believe it.
Isn't it great?
You don't even have to believe it.
You just have to say the words,
Right?
Yeah,
That's I will definitely try it and um,
I'll uh also let Everyone know in the blog or in the next episode how that went And I didn't mean to cut you off But it's my habit I won't let you cement in a negative story because the more you talk about that thing the more you keep bringing it to you Do you see?
Yeah Yeah,
And that was actually um,
Also my my point was that the first two days it was fine But the moment I started sharing to my girlfriend about it I noticed I got dragged into it and before I wasn't dragged into it.
I was fine I was completely stoic towards it.
I didn't you know,
I was not not caring but I also was not caring but the moment I started talking about it,
I felt like I was Like part of it and I was it was horrible.
It was like I stained myself and it was like oh god What did I do now?
I'm in the in the swamp Wow,
That is such a great story.
I love that and I love that you identified into the talking about it That just is so awesome Yeah,
It was really the talking about it that just turned it around and suddenly I became part of it and before that You know these things came up and but they also went again And I just continued to do my job.
It just continued to do whatever was necessary But the moment I started talking about it because then you as you said then you're negative About someone that is being negative,
But it doesn't matter because it's still you being negative and that just yes It eats you up.
It eats you and you know,
It's funny because people sometimes say well,
Don't you need to let people vent?
You know,
What about this whole thing of letting people vent and I say well if somebody's standing in front of me with a Shovel and smashing themselves in the face.
I'm not gonna just go.
Well,
Just let them get it out of their system Take the shovel and go quit smashing yourself in the face,
You know,
Right?
So,
You know part of it is like Trying to lead by example and trying to lead by thinking better thoughts and trying to be a good person and be present and not Get sucked into people's aura,
You know,
And that's all we can do right?
Yeah Agreed,
Um,
Nonetheless,
I will definitely do what you said because you need to refresh it again and again I notice it's like also when you get dragged into a situation like that or a thought pattern like that You need something to get you out of that again Sometimes it can be time and space,
You know Sometimes if you let it rest and at certain point you get out but usually you sort of Need to do a little bit of the work It's like a it's like the proverbial like slap in the face,
You know or shaking somebody who's hysterical It's like a pattern interrupt you end up shifting something Absolutely.
Well,
Um,
Dana as a Last thing that I want to ask you for our listeners who are Currently listening to this episode there.
There's so much tips and tricks and information that they can take with them But still as a as a last question,
Um,
What would you give as an advice to anyone listening?
Maybe someone who's Not capable yet to tap into that sort of space of abundance and and positivity and hope Yeah,
Yeah,
I think the the biggest thing I can tell anybody no matter where they're at is just to keep Yourself a break,
You know,
Give yourself a break and try to think about You know if you were talking to the older version of yourself the version who's 10 years older than you and they were going to give you advice You know the advice they probably give you is you're going to be fine.
It's all going to turn out fine You're going to be okay.
And I think so often Especially people who are seekers,
You know who are in self-development and personal development There's so many things that we want to work on and fix and get better at and All of you know,
It seems like the endless list of right of ways that we could improve and So my biggest message is just letting people know you're fine You're fine Just like you are and just be nice to yourself and relax and have more fun and go easy about it Make it easy and breathe and know like here you are You're a conscious human being that alone is like a miracle.
You are a walking miracle It's amazing what we've got here on planet earth And so try to just chill out a little bit more relax a little bit more have a little more fun Give yourself a little bit more space Enjoy a little more and then see what happens and that's really it.
That's the whole for me.
I think the outcome You know is joy.
That's what life is about Absolutely Thank you so much for that advice and and for someone listening now who's Super enthusiastic about what you do.
What is the first thing they need to go to is it?
Getting like your book or getting onto the podcast What would you recommend for people that want to get in touch with you?
If you go to dana wild dot com There are a lot of different choices of different things fun things that you can do And the other thing I would say too is the train your brain facebook group If you head in there,
What's kind of nice is it's a little bit of an oasis of a bunch of people who get this And so you can go there and just explore all the different we've got so much free stuff It's like crazy and it's all either in that group or on the website Awesome.
Well,
Thank you so much Again dana for joining me on the podcast.
It was a pleasure to talk with you and share The stories you too I just think what you're doing in the world is so exciting and so powerful and you were so much fun to talk to I really really appreciate you If you enjoyed what dana talked about make sure to check out her website mentioned in the description of this episode Shout out to our donators amber j.
Chris.
Justin joseph Ypmg ken krish fizzy elf and yuri Thank you so much for supporting us Remember to subscribe to our podcast if you enjoyed this talk and leave a review on the platform you are listening to Next time i'll be talking with mark gober about his book and end to upside down thinking About near-death experiences quantum physics and mindfulness.
Thank you for listening and have a great day
