Last week we talked about the four noble truths.
And I'm just going to do a quick recap of the first three and then we're going to get into the fourth noble truth.
And so if you recall,
The first noble truth is the truth of suffering,
Or even we could call it the truth of dissatisfaction.
That there is a certain amount of dissatisfaction and or suffering in our lives.
The suffering of birth,
Old age,
Sickness,
Of death,
The suffering of change,
That whatever it is we get is changing.
You know,
The good meal,
It's changing,
It's ending,
The holiday,
The praise,
The feeling from the promotion,
Like these things don't last.
And then the second noble truth was that the cause of suffering is craving.
This movement,
This mind movement of creating ourselves into existence.
And we didn't look at it from the cycle of birth and death,
Rebirth and death.
We just looked at it from this day-to-day experience that we're having of just constantly imagining ourselves in our mind in the future,
Getting something that we want,
And not getting what we don't want.
And in imagining that somehow this is a happy me somewhere in my head,
This imaginary me that doesn't exist.
And will never exist,
But that it's happy because it's getting some temporary state.
And so it is the craving that we don't even see that is this craving,
This imagining ourselves into an extra existence that is the cause of our suffering.
And then the third noble truth is that if we know the cause of suffering is craving,
Then the cessation of suffering is to abandon the craving.
And we won't suffer anymore.
We won't be so dissatisfied.
And the fourth noble truth is the Eightfold Path.
And this is what we're gonna look at tonight.
And the Eightfold Path is not a sequential path.
It's not you get to step one,
And then you get a little ribbon,
And you get to step two,
And you get another,
Then you get a little trophy,
And then you get to step three.
It's eight factors that are all to be practiced at the same time.
They complement each other.
They reinforce each other.
They overlap with each other.
And we can break them down into three essential trainings,
Moral conduct,
Mental discipline,
And wisdom.
And I wanna start with moral conduct,
And I wanna spend the most amount of time there because in the West in particular,
We tend to gloss over this one pretty quickly.
We'll spend a lot of time on the meditation,
On the mindfulness,
Then some time on the wisdom teachings.
But the moral conduct or ethical conduct doesn't get a lot of play,
It seems.
And I think because we kind of have this aversion towards people telling us how we should behave,
Or there's this kind of punitive aspect of it that,
Oh,
I'm gonna judge myself,
And I'm gonna feel badly because I've done a lot of bad things,
Or I'm just,
You know,
No one's perfect.
We're all human.
And so there's this kind of like,
Oh,
Let's not talk about that stuff.
So it's not about that.
It's not punitive,
The ethical conduct.
It is actually where our training of compassion,
And kindness,
And forgiveness,
And patience takes place.
By understanding how our actions are affecting other people,
And understanding how our actions are affecting us.
So the first factor in moral conduct is wise speech.
We know we can get in a lot of trouble when these mouths start to open up.
We know that we can weaponize our words.
We know that our words can heal or harm,
That we can tear someone down,
Or we can lift them up,
That we can create a bridge of connection,
Or a divide of separation,
That we can close people's hearts,
Or we can open other people's hearts and our own hearts.
And so the first factor in wise speech is to not speak harshly,
To really be conscious of this when we're talking with other people,
To not put them down,
To not be belittling,
To not make them feel badly about themselves.
It's so easy for us to just carelessly,
Especially if it's,
And you see this a lot of time with partners that have been together for a long time,
Not really understanding how painful our speech might be,
Or if we're short with someone,
We're in a rush,
And just how quickly we can dismiss someone's idea,
Or dismiss someone's thought,
Or just ignore them,
And just how painful that is for the other person.
And of course,
Even if we don't feel like it's having an effect on us,
It definitely is leaving an imprint in our mind.
If we can talk to someone harshly,
If we can make someone feel badly about themselves,
Our hearts are closed.
There's no compassion there,
There's no kindness there,
There's no patience there.
So to not speak harshly,
To really be conscious of our words,
They can heal or they can harm.
And then the next factor is to not lie,
To be honest with our speech,
Of course,
Right?
We wanna be honest,
We want people to be able to take us at our word.
And we don't also,
We don't wanna be,
You know,
Having to think about,
Like,
Wow,
I told this person that thing,
And I told this person over here,
Like,
That's a lot of stress,
Right?
There's no peace in there,
So that also causes harm for us.
And I always love,
I love this American comedian,
Jim Gaffigan,
Where he talks about this,
Like bringing two groups of friends together that he knows separately,
And he's kind of telling one group of friends,
And he says,
Okay,
So this other group over here,
They don't know that I drink.
Oh,
And don't be thrown by my British accent.
So,
You know,
Kind of just like,
You know,
One way with one group of people,
Another way with another group of people.
Like,
This is about,
You know,
The Eightfold Path is about making sure that our path is integrated into every aspect of our lives,
Because the way we do one thing is the way we do everything.
And so,
You know,
To be truthful with our speech,
I mean,
Not to take,
And to remember it's wise speech.
Like,
If someone asks you,
What do you think of my new haircut?
And it's like,
You don't like it.
I mean,
You don't have to just say,
Oh,
You look great,
You look great,
You look so happy.
I mean,
If it's your best friend,
And they're saying like,
What do you think?
And you're like,
Oh my God,
That's tragic.
Like,
We need to get you back to the hairdresser.
Like,
If they're really looking for advice,
Like,
Of course,
Tell them what they,
Right,
Know your audience.
So it's wise speech,
Right?
It doesn't mean that,
You know,
And you hear people sometimes kind of fall back on that.
Well,
I just told them the truth.
It's like,
Well,
It wasn't very kind,
Though,
Was it?
There wasn't a lot of wisdom in there.
So know the wisdom part of this in being honest.
And then of course,
Not to gossip,
Right?
Not to talk about people when they're not around.
And that doesn't mean not asking about someone and how such and such doing,
Or you're having a problem with someone and you're going to a close friend and you're trying to resolve a situation.
Like,
Again,
Use wisdom.
But if we're talking about someone that's not there and we're putting them down,
Right?
We're putting something out.
Something is coming out of our mouths that is in fact tearing someone down.
There are implications for that.
It brings a mental imprint back into our own mind,
Not one that we want.
And of course,
We all know we'd be horrified if anyone,
You know,
If we were gossiping about someone and then that person later found out about it,
We'd be horrified.
We don't want to hurt someone,
But we have to be careful with gossip because it's such a,
We've all done it.
We've all done it.
So let's not pretend like none of us have done it.
It's a difficult one for us because so many,
It's such a common part of our conversation,
It seems like.
And it's hard to stop someone sometimes and even say like,
Hey,
I don't really want to be a part of this type of conversation.
And then seem like,
Oh God,
Someone's a goody two shoes or I don't know how that can be perceived sometimes.
So we've got to bring some wisdom into that.
And just even say something like,
Hey,
They're not here right now.
Let's not talk badly about them.
Or just immediately,
And I have done this before,
Where I'll just think of something good about that person and go,
Well,
You know,
They just did,
They did something really nice for me one time.
And so I don't want to say anything.
I don't want to be a part of anything that's putting them down.
So be careful with gossiping.
And again,
We do it,
We all do it.
We're all going to make the mistake of doing it from time to time.
So this isn't meant to be punitive.
This is where we bring in the practice,
I forgive,
I forgive,
I forgive,
Right?
Just to forgive ourselves.
We might even say to the person we spoke with later,
Like,
I feel really badly for having said that.
And I just wanted you to know.
And it's something I'm really working on to not ever talk about someone that's not present,
To never talk negatively.
I mean,
You don't even have to do that stuff,
But make sure you do forgive yourself because we're human.
And this isn't,
Again,
This isn't about saying,
Oh my God,
I'm a bad person because I did that.
It's a practice,
This is a training.
And we're trying to get better at it.
So just wanted to mention that as well,
Just to be careful on that,
To not make it punitive for us.
And then the last step there is idle chatter,
Which kind of seems like a strange one,
Idle chatter.
Like,
Why is that part of wise speech?
Because we spend a lot of time in idle chatter,
Right?
Just small talk with people.
And what I take away from idle chatter is just be careful,
Be cautious in idle chatter,
Because that's when the gossip starts to come in,
Right?
There starts to get a lull in the conversation.
It starts to get a little boring because people are running out of things to say.
And it just,
It can easily kind of get into that gossip stage at that point.
So,
And also in idle chatter,
Don't be afraid for there to be some silence.
We don't have to fill up every single moment with a word.
So that's another thing too,
If the conversation's just at a lull,
Practice being okay in that silence for a few moments,
Not having to say something,
Because then sometimes when we're grasping at something to say,
It's generally not something very thoughtful or very skillful.
And there's a teaching of three doors that we can have our speech go through before we say something.
And so this might be something where you're,
You are in a conversation with a group of people and you're thinking you want to say something.
And so you ask yourself,
Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
And sometimes that can just make us pause like,
Okay,
Yeah,
It's true.
Is it necessary?
Right,
Sometimes again,
We're just always,
Our mouths are just going,
Going,
Going,
Going,
Going all the time.
And sometimes it's like,
Is it really necessary?
Is it just me trying to,
Is it my ego trying to kind of get in there and talk about me and what I did?
Is it really adding to the conversation?
And of course then,
Is it kind?
I really think our speech should always be kind.
And that doesn't mean it always looks like something very soft.
Sometimes kind speech is a little bit fierce because it's what the person might need to hear.
So,
So wise speech.
Wise action is the next factor under moral discipline.
And there are four factors there.
To not kill or harm,
To not steal or take that which is not freely offered,
To not engage in sexual misconduct and to not take intoxicants.
And I'm going to start with the fourth one first before anyone has a panic on that.
So no one here is ordained.
We're not in a monastic setting.
What I would take away,
What I would suggest,
I mean,
I don't take any intoxicants,
But what I would recommend to people is,
Don't get wasted.
Don't get drunk.
Don't get too high.
You know,
Just,
If you're going to do something,
Just do it in moderation.
Because we do know what happens if we're a little too,
If we partake a little bit too much in something,
You know,
We get inhibited with our actions,
With our speech.
Inevitably we say or we do something that we're going to later regret.
And it's really hard to have a peaceful mind when we're regretting what we did.
If we're hungover,
It's really hard to get up and meditate.
So just to keep some balance,
Some wisdom around the intoxication.
And then sexual misconduct,
While it's really focusing on,
Of course,
Not having sex with someone that's not consenting,
Not having sex with someone that's not your partner or that isn't involved in another relationship,
Of course.
But it's also in just,
In flirting,
Right?
Flirting inappropriately with someone who is married or you're married.
That's inappropriate.
That's harmful.
It's harmful to your partner.
It's harmful to the other person's partner.
Texting inappropriately.
I mean,
It's amazing how many affairs have come out of texting because they kind of fish a little,
Oh,
Kind of send something a little flirty across a text.
And then it escalates so quickly.
So really being mindful of the intention behind your language and really being careful about of not causing any harm in our own relationships and in other relationships,
Being respectful.
And then the second one is not to steal or take that which is not freely offered.
And I like that last part about not to take that which is freely offered,
Or sorry,
Or not that which is not freely offered.
Because you know what we do,
Like we get into a hotel room,
Anything that's not nailed down,
Like we think it's a free for all,
Right?
We're just kind of putting everything in our bags.
Or we're in a restaurant,
We're taking all the sugar packets and the Splenda's.
And right,
As long as it's not nailed down,
We kind of think,
Oh,
I can take it.
And then of course,
Places like our taxes,
We think like,
Oh,
I can just fudge this a little bit here,
I can fudge a little bit over there.
But again,
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
And really what's our integrity,
Our own honesty?
What's it worth,
Right?
I mean,
$100 savings on our taxes,
$1,
000 savings,
Right?
Like,
Where's the line here?
I mean,
Your peace of mind,
What's it worth?
So to be really just conscious about stealing or taking that which is not freely offered,
To really pause and think about it.
I used to think about this when I was working for someone else,
Doing personal email time.
And it kind of hit me one day,
I'm like,
Oh,
I'm kind of stealing from them because they're not paying me to be on my personal email right now.
I mean,
Not like the odd random email,
But if it was something a little bit long,
It's like,
They're not paying me for that.
And so just to be a little more conscious about stealing or taking that which is not freely offered.
And then the first one is about not killing or causing any harm,
Which of course is super important to not cause any harm.
I think it's unrealistic to say that we don't kill.
I mean,
You can't walk out on your street and probably walk over some ants.
A part of our existence means just moving through,
Driving our cars and a butterfly or moth or something hits the windscreen.
Of course,
There is a certain amount of death that's involved there that we can't avoid.
But to be mindful of the things that we can.
If you have a spider in the house,
To take it out mindfully.
I just put little plastic cups over and then some paper down the side,
And then my little relocation program.
If you've got mice,
I've done this with mice,
With rats,
With chipmunks,
They're super easy,
Nice little harm-free traps that you can get.
And so just to be a little bit more mindful,
Like how quick we are to slap a mosquito or fly or try to kill it.
Really,
We're so quick to always think that our lives are so important and we don't even consider just an insect's life.
But just to pause a little bit,
Just kind of,
Oh,
A little mosquito,
A little bee,
Like,
Oh,
On your way,
On your way,
Please.
Right,
Like it does leave an imprint on our minds when we consider the lives of others.
And of course,
We also just cannot deny the cruelty and suffering that happens in factory farming.
And while I'm not telling anyone to change what you eat,
I would ask you to consider the sources of where you're getting the food from,
Where you're getting your meat,
Where you're getting your dairy from.
And then also when you're eating food that another life was given,
To say a little prayer,
To say a little blessing,
To have a little thank you for you giving your life for me.
That leaves an imprint on our mind,
Right,
Of acknowledging another being's life.
The way we do anything is the way we do everything.
And it really does affect our relationship to others.
And again,
This is about compassion,
Opening our hearts and feeling that sense of connection to everything,
Because that's the reality of the world we live in.
We don't wanna compartmentalize the way we so often do.
Oh,
This part,
I'm gonna be a meditator over here and practice wisdom and kindness and compassion.
And then over here in this part of my life,
I'm gonna completely forget about it.
It doesn't work,
We can't compartmentalize this.
And so the last factor under moral conduct is wise livelihood,
Making sure that we're earning our living in a way that isn't causing harm,
That we're not working as a defense contractor,
You know,
In arms or alcohol,
Things along those lines.
But also we can consider,
How do we earn money from our investments?
I'm not saying anyone go and sell everything and redo your portfolios,
Definitely not saying that.
Get a lot of capital gains and you won't be happy with me.
But when you're looking at future investments,
Do consider that.
I wonder what type of industries I'm investing in here.
You know,
Again,
Kind of putting,
We all have causes that we believe in,
Right?
And then we forget and then just invest in companies that are sometimes completely opposite of what we think is socially good for the world,
What is environmentally good for the world,
Responsible for the world.
So it's just good for us to kind of think about sometimes wise livelihood,
Like,
Oh,
How am I earning my money?
Maybe,
Again,
You have a new investment,
You just consider it a little bit and go,
Okay,
You know,
I think I will,
If I'm gonna put the S&P 500,
Maybe I'll do the more,
I mean,
There is a socially responsible S&P 500 index.
You know,
Maybe I'll just put it there.
It almost mirrors almost exactly the performance.
And it feels good when you do things like that.
So that's right,
Moral conduct,
Wise speech,
Wise action,
Wise livelihood.
And then the next training is in mental discipline.
And we spend a lot of time here,
Of course,
With meditation being the foundation of our practice.
So it's actually called wise concentration on the path.
And it's actually the training of training our attention on the breath or an object,
Right?
The mind,
We've been training our minds,
Our whole lives in thinking and remembering,
Thinking and remembering,
And that's what we're constantly doing.
And so now it's about saying,
Okay,
Well,
Look what thinking and remembering has done for us,
Right,
Hasn't brought us a lot of peace,
Hasn't brought us a lot of equanimity,
A lot of feelings of connection.
So learning to concentrate our attention on our breath,
And I really consider our meditation practice is the foundation for the mental discipline training.
Because if we meditate in the morning within the first hour of the day,
And we do have that practice of minds wander off their thoughts,
We come back to the breath and we keep doing it until the space between our thoughts becomes a little bit greater.
We find that sense of being in the center,
We find that sense of calm,
Of peace,
Of tranquility,
That it enables us then from that place of calm and tranquility to go out into the day and to be more mindful.
I would think it's almost impossible to be mindful without that daily meditation practice,
To be able to pause,
To think of the three doors,
Right,
To be able to pause and think,
Oh,
What's this,
Oh,
This might be a little flirty,
And oh,
This is my best friend's husband,
That's not appropriate,
Or,
Right,
I mean,
You meant jokingly,
Of course,
But it's like,
Oh,
You know,
I wouldn't want this to be seen by someone else,
Or to give us those pause for the wise speech,
Wise action,
To make sure that we have that pause there,
But also just to be able to be aware of our experience of what's happening,
Because again,
We're thinking,
Remembering,
Thinking,
Remembering,
Thinking,
Remembering,
We're not in our experience.
Of course,
What are we doing as we're thinking,
Remembering?
Craving,
Right,
Craving,
Oh,
Me over there,
Me already at the supermarket,
Me already on holiday,
No,
Me already on the plane,
Me already retired,
Me already here,
Right,
So this is what we're doing all the time,
Craving ourselves into existence.
So in mindfulness,
Really being able to be aware of what's going on,
Oh,
I'm thinking and remembering,
Like this is what's going on,
I'm imagining I'm gonna be so happy when I get over there,
And so being aware of what's happening in our minds,
Being aware of where our body is in time and space,
Again,
We're like robots walking around on autopilot,
We don't even know how we get from one room to the next,
Because we're just in our heads the whole time.
So as part of mindfulness,
Being in our bodies as well,
Knowing when we're sitting that we're sitting,
Knowing when we're walking that we're walking,
Knowing that when we're eating,
We're eating,
Right,
And being with that experience in that moment.
But it's really important also in mindfulness,
No judging,
No judging,
Right,
We've done enough judging for our lifetimes,
No judgment there,
Just being aware to what it is that's arising,
Noticing it,
Noticing the suffering of my mind already being over there and my body is still here,
Because the craving,
Right,
Notice the suffering,
Come back into the present moment using the breath,
Using our senses,
Right,
Looking around,
Hearing the sounds,
Touch,
Taste,
Smell,
Right,
Grounding ourselves back like,
Ooh,
Phew,
I was lost in that trance a few minutes ago,
Of how happy I was gonna be over there that I didn't even notice the suffering,
Because I was so believing I was gonna be so happy when I got over there,
I didn't even notice the,
Oh,
Of that craving inside of how that feels.
It doesn't feel good,
But we are so oblivious to it,
We are so used to it,
We don't even recognize it anymore.
So in mindfulness,
We recognize,
Oh,
Wow,
And that does not feel good,
Like,
Yeah,
It'll be good when I get on the holiday or it'll be good when I get over there,
Like,
That'll be nice,
I'm sure it will be nice,
But me wanting to be there feels terrible,
It feels painful,
It's suffering,
I bring my mind back into the body,
Feel again where I'm at,
Hear the sounds,
Oh,
Yeah,
This is good,
We've gotta live in the present moment,
It's the only place we can live,
It's the only place that happiness is.
So our mindfulness practice,
And then the third factor in mental discipline is wise effort,
This practice takes effort.
It's easy to get lost in our thoughts and just wander off with our thoughts all day.
I mean,
It's painful,
But it's easy,
It does not require any effort whatsoever.
So this practice does require effort.
It is important for us to acknowledge that.
The effort to be mindful of negative mind states when they are arising and abandon them,
Wisefully,
Skillfully,
Not by grabbing our phones,
Not by looking at the news,
Not by just trying to distract ourselves,
But by being with whatever it is that's arising,
Being with the feelings,
Bringing our attention back into the body,
Letting it move through us.
And then of course,
To also be mindful of positive mind states when they're arising,
To recognize that and to cultivate and nurture positive mind states,
There is effort involved in this practice.
This does not happen without effort.
But what's the alternative?
Thinking and remembering and the pain of that.
So it's not like it's terrible,
Terrible effort.
It's not like you've got to carry around 50 pounds on your back all day long,
But it does require that continuous effort.
Begin again,
Begin again,
We get a little lost.
Okay,
We all do it,
It's okay.
Begin again,
Take that breath,
Start again,
No beating ourselves up,
Just begin again,
Clean slate,
Whatever,
Just clean slate,
Begin again.
And then the fourth,
Sorry,
The third training is wisdom.
And I'm just gonna briefly talk on this because we spend a lot of time on the wisdom teachings here.
So there is wise intention or sometimes called wise thought.
And I think the simplest and the most,
The best way for us to just think about this is just have the intention of being kind,
Just be kind,
Right?
Just have,
There is so much wisdom in wanting to be kind to other people,
Kind to other beings,
Kind to the planet and kind to ourselves.
So just be kind,
That should be our intention.
And I've said this before,
There's this saying,
Be careful what you think because your thoughts become words,
Be careful what you say because your words become action.
Be careful of your actions because your actions become your destiny.
Be careful of your destiny because that becomes your character.
Actually,
I flipped those last two,
It should be character and then destiny,
Sorry.
But you get the idea.
And an intention is a thought,
Right?
So be careful.
We think the thoughts in our head,
Like they're inconsequential,
They are starting,
That's the seed that gets everything rolling.
So when we have that intention of kindness and we think about it first thing in the morning,
I wanna be kind today,
Where can I bring more kindness into the day?
To myself and to others,
Right?
There's so much wisdom and compassion in there.
And then the last factor is right or wise view.
And this is about seeing reality,
Seeing the world the way it is,
Seeing us the way we are.
That everything is arising through causes and conditions.
Every moment,
This moment now has never happened before.
There has never been this exact moment before.
That a million,
Billion,
Trillion causes and conditions for this to arise,
This,
This,
For each one of you that we're all arising in this moment based on all of our interactions here together and a million,
Billion,
Trillion other things.
There's no other little being here that we could crave ourselves into existence.
This is it,
This moment,
This is what's arising.
And everything is impermanent,
Arising and passing away,
Connected,
Flowing,
All part of the same tapestry.
This is what we're trying to see.
Instead of seeing it from that self-centered,
Right?
Because if I'm craving myself into existence,
Separate self,
I'm the center of the universe,
What I want is most important.
What are they doing over there?
How's that affecting me?
That feeling of separation,
That feeling of,
If I can just get everything,
Everyone to do what I want them to do,
I'll be happy,
Right?
Feeling that happiness is this permanent state when I can just kind of somehow get everything the way I want it to be.
Instead of recognizing the way it really is,
And really taking time to reflect and to see,
To think about at the end of your day,
Something that you think you made happen,
How many things had to happen and not happen for that lunch meeting to take place,
For you to be on this call tonight,
For you to be in the house you're in,
How many things did happen and didn't happen that caused it to happen?
It's all connected.
And when we see it as all connected,
We flow with it,
Because there's no more just,
Oh,
Me over there craving myself into existence.
It's just recognizing the flowing in each moment of us arising in each moment with all these things coming together.
And every thought we have makes a difference.
Every word we say makes a difference.
Every action,
Every time we meditate,
We have a mindful breath.
We apply some effort.
We have that intention of kindness.
All of that plays a role.
It all matters.
And it's all connected.
And this is what we're trying to see.
