Okay so we'll go ahead and we'll start our talk.
We'll do a talk first and then we'll do the meditation.
So imagine that you're on a plane and it's a completely booked plane.
Every seat is taken.
You're in the middle row and just before they close the doors to back off,
The person in the seat next to you is on their phone and they have clearly gotten some very distressing news and they hang up the phone and it's just very clear that they're upset.
Maybe you can hear that they're upset.
You can just feel their tension,
Their distress and we can imagine for many of us in that situation our response would be that we feel a lot of tension,
That we start pulling away from them,
Maybe moving to the other side and that in our discomfort we're up in our heads imagining or thinking to ourselves,
Why is this happening?
Why did,
Why of all of the seats on the plane did they have to come and sit next to me?
What a nightmare this flight is going to be for me,
Causing ourselves a lot of suffering in that moment.
And then a moment later we remember our Tonglen practice and we start imagining that we're breathing in their sadness and we're sending them back healing white light,
That we're breathing in their fear and we're sending them back comfort and that we're breathing in their distress and we're sending them back peace.
And as we keep imagining this,
That we're breathing in their suffering and sending them back this healing white peaceful light,
What we notice is that we start to feel more open,
More relaxed,
More at ease without a single word spoken.
We have completely transformed what was an awkward and uncomfortable situation,
A place where we wanted to get away from the person to then this sense of intimacy of really taking on their suffering and sending them back peace and love and kindness,
That now we feel this sense of connection to this other being and I guarantee you they feel it too.
Because we can feel when someone's recoiling away from our pain and suffering and we can feel when someone's creating space,
Openness,
That they're not threatened,
They're not uncomfortable with our pain and our suffering.
And so that is the power of Tonglen practice,
That it takes an uncomfortable situation for us,
It takes the pain and suffering of another person and it transforms it into compassion and empathy and connection and meaning and intimacy.
And from a Buddhist perspective,
Compassion is a necessary part of our practice,
That we need the wisdom teachings but we also equally need the compassion practices,
Because it is when our heart is open that our intellectual understanding of the wisdom teachings goes down into a place of knowing,
That without opening our heart,
Without compassion,
These teachings just remain an intellectual understanding,
They never become truly our wisdom.
So,
What I hope in this talk is to give us a really good understanding of why we're practicing Tonglen,
Of how this practice teaches us to be more compassionate,
To be more empathetic,
To be kinder,
More caring,
More open,
To be wiser and how it is the necessary and how it is the necessary ingredient to awakening in our spiritual practice.
So,
We'll have a talk first,
I'll give the instructions on how to do the meditation practice,
Then we'll do the meditation together and then after the meditation,
I'll also share some ways in which that we can practice Tonglen off the cushion.
When we're going about our day,
There's all sorts of opportunities to keep practicing and so just to plant some seeds there as well.
So,
Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist practice and literally Tonglen means sending and receiving or giving and taking.
So,
It's a visualization meditation where we visualize a person,
Could be a group of people,
It could be ourselves and we are imagining that we are breathing in their pain and suffering and we are sending them back healing,
White light,
Peace,
Calm,
Tranquility,
Care,
Support and it is just this continuous loop of taking it on and sending it back and these are not the instructions,
I'll get to the instructions at the end but I just wanted to give you a general sense because in this visualization,
As we are doing this imagining taking on suffering and sending back healing,
That is how we are building our capacity for compassion,
That is how we are able to become more empathetic,
To be able to look at someone's pain without being overwhelmed because this is such a part of compassion,
Real compassion,
Is that without it,
We are so afraid to look at someone's pain and suffering,
We are so afraid that if I look at someone's pain and suffering,
If I really look at it,
If I really acknowledge it,
That we're afraid of what might come out,
We're afraid of all the emotions in us that we have been stuffing down our own pain and suffering for so long,
We're so afraid of what might come out of what might come out if we look at another person's suffering or if we look at a homeless person,
We're so afraid if we really look at them that we're going to be so overwhelmed with pity,
Which is not compassion,
But we're going to be so overwhelmed with pity that we take them home with us or maybe we take all the homeless people we can fit in our car home with us and then we realize well how long am I going to be able to sustain that for living with all these other people and we recognize it's not sustainable and so because we don't know how to look at pain and suffering,
That we don't really have the capacity,
The compassion,
The wisdom to be able to do it,
Instead what we do is we look away.
So instead of practicing compassion,
Of opening our hearts,
Of feeling another being's pain and suffering,
Of feeling that sense of connection with another being,
Instead we're practicing indifference.
So we're closing our hearts,
Hardening our hearts so that we don't feel and giving us a sense of disconnection from other human beings.
So when we walk by the homeless person,
The person sitting on the sidewalk without anything but a garbage bag to hold their possessions,
Hungry,
Dirty,
That when we look away from that person,
What we are doing is dehumanizing them and we are dehumanizing ourselves because the only way we can reconcile turning away from them is that we tell ourselves they're not like me,
They don't feel the same way I feel.
I would never be in that situation.
We imagine it's so foreign to us,
We don't see that,
No,
That could be me,
There but for the grace of some good conditions.
I'm not homeless but that could just as easily be me.
There are millions of homeless people in the world,
No one sets out to be homeless and yet we look at these other human beings and we imagine that they are somehow different from us,
That they're not human.
We dehumanize them by practicing indifference and this is devastating for us as humans.
We are social creatures,
We are social beings and our deepest connections with one another are through suffering.
Our most intimate connections with one another are through suffering.
That yes,
Of course,
We want to be there for all of our friends when we're celebrating,
When the good,
You know,
The holidays,
The birthdays,
The births,
Right?
We want to be there for all of those things but the real meaning,
The real intimacy in our relationships comes from being with others when they're suffering.
Really coming to meet them in their hour of need when most people turn away,
Not because they're horrible people but because they don't have the capacity to look.
It would overwhelm them.
And so often when we do,
When someone reaches out and they are going through something,
They're going through a divorce,
They're going through a breakup,
They've lost their job,
Something really bad is going on for them and when they do reach out for us,
Right?
And so many of us turn up because of course if someone says they need help we want to turn up but we're kind of showing up in form only because we get there and we don't really want to sit with them in their pain and suffering.
We want to go and we want to fix it.
We want them to get over it because we're so uncomfortable with it.
So we're trying to,
What can we do,
How can we fix this,
Let's go for a walk,
Let's go do this,
Right?
We're always looking for some type of action.
We need them to get over it because of our own discomfort around it.
And I think this is why so many people would rather be alone with their pain and suffering because they understand how uncomfortable it is for the other person that they would much rather just be on their own because it's just too much to be in their own pain and suffering and then also have to deal with your awkwardness or our awkwardness,
Our pain and suffering being around them as well.
And what a tragedy that we miss those moments of connection that we're not able to be there and sit with them and just let them cry,
Let them do whatever they need to be and just to be there silently.
So often that's all people want,
Just be here with me so I don't have to bear this alone.
But we're so uncomfortable with it that we just can't handle it and so they'd rather just do it on their own.
So the practice of Tonglen,
It teaches us how to open our heart to pain and suffering,
Not just to others but to ourselves as well.
And it teaches us how to do it so that we're not overwhelmed,
So that we can hold space for others,
So that we can be present,
So that we can really fully be there whether it's our pain and suffering or someone else's pain and suffering.
And it teaches us because we're present with the pain and suffering,
Because we're not pushing back on it,
Because we're not not that there's there may not be some discomfort or a little quivering in the heart,
But that we're not pushing back on it.
That when the event is over,
You're with someone who's suffering and then when you leave,
You don't take it with you.
Because real compassion is understanding that my capacity for compassion means that I want to be there,
I want to be fully present,
I want to be with them,
I want my heart to quiver when their heart quivers.
If that's what's appropriate,
If that's what's a risk,
If that's what's arising,
If the tears are arising in response to their tears,
Fine,
Let it all be there.
But when it is over and I give them a hug and I say goodbye and I say let me know if you need anything,
And I still can hold them in my heart with compassion,
But I don't take their suffering on as mine.
That's such a problem that we again,
We fear it's the discomfort,
The looking at it,
What will I do?
I will have to now take their suffering with me.
So again,
If I have to take everyone's suffering on as my own suffering,
My own problem,
I won't have much capacity left.
In fact,
I would argue you will fill up very,
Very quickly.
And then we're back to practicing indifference again.
And in indifference,
We're not acting,
We're not helping,
We're not helping anyone.
And so with compassion,
Because we're learning with Tonglen,
We're learning how to come and be with someone's pain and suffering and how to continuously be emptying it through being present with it,
Right?
That it's not staying with us,
Right?
It's not staying with us in a heavy way.
It allows us to be more compassionate.
It increases our capacity for compassion.
So when we see a homeless person,
Instead of looking away because of fear of what we might do or what we might see or what might come out,
Or how will we handle remembering their pain and suffering,
We're able to look at them as a real human being.
Maybe you don't even have any money to give them or any food to give them,
But you're walking on the sidewalk and there's a few homeless people there.
But with compassion,
With empathy,
You can look them in the eyes because they are a human being.
And can you imagine,
Can you imagine?
You have fallen through the rungs of society to be homeless.
And then for people to not even be able to bear your suffering,
That they won't even look at you and think you're human anymore.
But then you look at them because you've done your Tonglen practice and you know you can feel your heart quivering,
But you know,
I need to meet this moment.
And if it's just looking at five people in a row and,
You know,
Just bowing,
You know,
Bowing to them,
Just looking them at the eyes,
Don't even have to say anything.
But you're just acknowledging another human being,
Their pain and their suffering.
The intimacy and the connection that we experience in that moment,
The meaning that we feel when we are really looking at another human being,
We're not recoiling from it,
Is so deeply intimate and personal.
So with compassion,
It leads us to action.
And even if our action is simply just to acknowledge another human being,
What a beautiful gift that we've given to that person that day,
Because maybe a hundred people walked by,
Didn't want to see it,
Turned away,
Another dagger in their already wounded heart.
But then you looked at them and maybe it does lead to a little action where it's just a few coins or you just go and you do get a little bit of food and you just give it to each one,
Right?
You do what you can do and you do it knowing I can bear this,
I can be fully present with what's happening right now.
And when I walk away,
I still have compassion for them,
But I don't take on their suffering.
I don't keep it with me because I need to keep my capacity for compassion open because there is a lot of pain and suffering in the world.
And I might meet a homeless person two more blocks down the road.
And while I can't run and get food for everyone,
Again,
At least I can acknowledge them as a human being.
And I am not practicing indifference.
If we are practicing indifference,
We are closing our hearts,
We are not feeling,
We are disconnected.
All the wisdom teachings will remain intellectual if you are not able to open your heart.
And even just when we're sitting in our meditation,
And we're doing Tonglen,
And we're thinking about who in my life right now is experiencing some discomfort.
They're maybe sick,
Their partner's sick,
They're just going through a breakup,
There's something going on in their lives that they're struggling.
And even just in the practice,
When we're visualizing it,
We're imagining this person and we're imagining taking on their pain and sending them back healing white light.
Just in the practice of imagining this,
It leads to action.
Because after the meditation,
That person is in our heart,
We just had a very intimate exchange with them.
And then it might be that we decide,
Because maybe they are sick,
And we think,
You know,
What could I bring them?
Oh,
I'll make some ginger lemon tea.
They've got a cold and I'll make this and bring it for them.
Or I'll just send them a text.
Maybe you have a busy day and you don't have time to do anything.
But I'm just going to send them a text.
I'm thinking of you.
I hope you know you're not alone.
I'm here for you.
Let me know what you need.
Right?
And so it just leads to a positive action.
It's not just a practice that we do in isolation that doesn't lead to action.
Indifference leads to inaction.
Compassion leads to action.
And it could be,
Though,
That there is no action to do.
Even a friend of mine last year,
One of her dearest,
Dearest friends was dying of cancer.
And for the last few months,
She didn't want to see anyone.
Her husband would just tell her friend and say she doesn't want to see anyone anymore.
She doesn't want a text.
She just doesn't want anyone to remember her this way.
And this is just too difficult for her.
Probably too difficult for her because everyone that was coming was so uncomfortable.
Or I would imagine at least in some instances,
They were so uncomfortable with it.
And she didn't want to take that on.
And so my friend was really struggling.
She felt so helpless.
Right?
Because this is how we can feel sometimes.
Or if it's something we're reading in the paper and something that's happening on the other side of the world.
And it's so horrific.
And we can feel so helpless.
Because,
You know,
What can I do?
I'm one little person over here.
And yet we can do something.
We can do Tonglen.
And it gives us something to do.
And it takes the suffering of another being and it transforms it into compassion and empathy and kindness and care.
And it's through doing this act again and again that we start to see that we understand when we look at a situation and we see,
Oh,
This is all just bad.
Right?
The binary way that we look at the world,
Right?
Through our egocentric view.
Well,
That's bad and that's good.
There's only two things that can be bad or good.
But then we start practicing Tonglen.
And through that suffering,
Compassion and empathy starts to build in us.
And kindness and care and love and connection and intimacy and meaning.
And we realize the meaning of emptiness.
Oh,
My gosh,
I thought this was one thing.
And we start to see as we go through our life in all of our situations,
Nothing is one thing.
That's the meaning of emptiness.
That nothing inherently exists as one thing.
But through compassion,
That's how we start to see it.
It starts to unfold for us that yes,
In the suffering,
In the tragedy,
In the hurt,
In the pain,
There is also compassion and kindness and care and love and connection and intimacy.
Not one thing.
So the wisdom teachings,
Right,
They go from that intellectual understanding down into a place of knowing.
Right?
We really start to get it.
I see this.
Everything is empty of inherent existence,
Meaning it's not inherently one thing.
So it teaches us how to see the world as it truly is,
Interconnected,
Interdependent,
And not one thing.
So the practice,
This practice,
This beautiful practice of tonglen,
It leads to the right type of action,
Wise action.
And even if that action is inaction,
Or even if what is leading to is the recognition that there's nothing to do here,
This person is,
They're passing at the end of their life,
They don't want to see anyone.
But I can take this situation and I can become more compassionate myself,
I can become more empathetic,
And I can feel a deep connection with them.
And they do feel it.
We do sense when someone's heart is really opening to us,
Allowing us to be exactly as we are,
Whether we're with them,
Or whether we're miles away,
There is a sense of that warmth of that love,
Maybe not even on a conscious level,
But on an unconscious level,
So much of what we can't see of what's going on.
You know,
There's a connection that's been formed with this person.
And even though you go away from them,
It doesn't mean that that connection isn't there.
And so,
It really,
Even if we're,
Even if there's no action to do in the external world,
There was a way of touching this person and of touching us.
So,
It leads to action.
It leads to meaning and connection and intimacy.
So much of what is missing in our society today,
Because we do turn away from suffering.
We think life is supposed to be all about happiness,
Right?
And of course,
Yes,
We all love happiness.
But the deep meaning comes in pain and suffering.
We don't want to turn away from this.
But we do want to make sure we're doing it in a wise way,
That we're not overwhelming ourselves,
That we don't go too far with it,
Which then,
You know,
Then we're not practicing compassion.
We don't want it to become compassion's near enemy,
Which is pity.
Seeing separation,
Oh,
You down there,
Me up here,
And I can't bear looking at you anymore.
There's no wisdom in that.
But the meaning and the intimacy is incredibly powerful.
And the wisdom,
The wisdom,
That's when the teach,
The heart opens,
The intellectual teachings,
They drop in,
They become our wisdom.
Because these are real situations when we're with someone's pain and suffering,
When our heart is quivering,
And we are fully there with it,
Creating space,
Even just silent space for someone to be with what they're going through.
There is so much wisdom,
And that's so much understanding,
So much care,
The deepest kind of kindness,
Of care,
Of generosity that we can give to another person.
But it does start,
We have to know how to do this wisely.
Compassion,
Compassion and wisdom,
Are inextricably linked together.
In fact,
You cannot have real wisdom without real compassion,
You cannot have real compassion without real wisdom.
So,
The two are inextricably linked together.
And so,
The practice to in order to become more compassionate is,
We do need to do a practice.
We're not very skilled at compassion,
It's not something that's taught very much in the We're not very skilled at compassion,
It's not something that's taught very much in the West.
But we have this beautiful gift of this practice from the Tibetans,
Some of the most compassionate people in the world.
And so,
We do the practice.
So,
We are going to do the practice in a minute,
I'm going to go through and explain how the meditation is going to work.
So,
The first thing that we do,
Is we want to,
Relatively speaking,
Settle the mind.
We want to have kind of a clear slate to start with.
So,
We'll come into,
We'll do some mindful breathing to start,
Just mindful breathing without a particular focus anywhere on the breath,
But just feeling the breath,
Allowing it to ground us here into the present moment.
So,
We'll just do a couple of minutes,
Maybe two minutes on the breath.
And then,
We will narrow the breath or focus of the breath into the heart,
The heart center.
So,
We're going to then start imagining that we're breathing in and out of our heart center.
And typically,
For those of you that have meditated with me,
When we come into the heart center,
We kind of imagine it expanding and contracting,
So staying here.
But in this case,
What we're imagining is that we're breathing in,
In fact,
Traditionally in the teachings,
You're breathing in heavy,
Dark smoke,
Like even claustrophobic smoke.
That's kind of how heavy they want the texture to be.
But it doesn't have to be,
I mean,
I find if you can just be kind of grayish colored smoke,
Um,
Not light colored,
Because we're going to use white coming out.
But we do want to notice a difference.
There's a difference in the texture.
And there should be a little bit of a heaviness to it,
A little bit of a heaviness to it.
Because again,
We're learning the transformation,
Right,
Of what's happening here.
So,
We're,
We're gonna,
After we're just doing two minutes of just breathing,
Mindfully,
We're going to focus our attention on the heart center.
You're going to imagine breathing in anywhere from light gray to heavy,
Dark smoke,
Whatever you feel comfortable with.
And then you're going to visualize,
You're sending out like a beam of white light.
So,
It's like a beam of gray smoke coming in,
And then a beam of white light coming out.
And so,
We just get kind of used to that,
For again,
Maybe a minute or so,
A minute and a half of just the kind of the mechanics of it.
And then we're going to imagine someone that you care about.
So,
You'll think about someone you care about,
That's going through a difficult time.
It doesn't,
Don't pick,
Don't pick,
You know,
Someone who's dying to start.
This is a gradual practice.
So,
We want to start small,
Right?
We want to know where we're at in our practice.
It doesn't benefit us to jump too far ahead,
Because this is an intense practice as well.
So,
Always start a little bit smaller.
Just a friend who's,
You know,
Just going through a little bit of a difficulty in some way.
And you can imagine them in,
You know,
You imagine them in front of you.
And then you imagine that with the gray smoke,
You are pulling out their suffering,
You're taking their suffering,
You are transforming it in your heart center,
And you're sending back healing white light.
So,
You're taking in their fears,
And you're sending back support.
You're taking in their distress,
And you're sending back care.
And it's just this continuous exchange of taking and sending,
Of receiving and giving.
And we imagine as we're going through the meditation,
We imagine seeing them,
Their face starting to brighten up.
You even can see some of the light,
The white light around them,
This aura of like,
Oh my gosh,
Look,
You're here helping me take on the suffering.
You see the relief,
Right?
And this helps you to feel really good,
Like you're doing something here.
So,
We imagine we're breathing,
Breathing in the smoke and sending back the healing white light.
And we'll do that for just a couple of minutes.
And then we'll let that person dissolve,
Right?
We'll let them fade away.
We'll stay for a few moments on the breath just to clear again,
Right?
It's always important that we're doing this clearing process at the end,
That we're not letting it stack up too much.
One person's suffering that there's a,
There's an emptying,
Ah,
Okay,
I was fully there with it.
And now I'm back.
And we'll do just a,
You know,
A few breaths,
Five,
Six breaths.
And then we're going to imagine ourselves.
Traditionally,
We would start with ourselves.
But so often we have such a hard time being with our own pain.
And so I find it can be a real benefit to start with someone we care about,
And then to go to ourselves after that,
That we've already opened up our heart.
So we're going to imagine,
Think of a time in the last few days,
In the last few weeks of when you were,
You weren't doing well.
Maybe you weren't feeling well,
You were having an argument with someone,
You were feeling some doubt,
You were disappointed,
You were frustrated.
And you're going to imagine yourself at that time sitting in front of you.
And you're imagining taking on the suffering and sending back the healing white light.
So we imagine we're taking it and sending,
Giving that relief to ourselves,
Exposing the pain and suffering and giving it the space,
Right,
But saying,
But let me take it from you,
And send you back this healing white light.
And we'll in this part of the meditation,
We'll also then open it up to all the people that were feeling that same experience that we're feeling some sadness,
Some doubt,
Some disappointment,
Some loneliness,
As a way to again,
Remind ourselves that what we're experiencing,
Others in the world are experiencing as well.
So we'll,
We'll do,
You know,
The same amount of time for each,
Each group or person,
But we'll split up when we're doing it for ourselves first for about a minute,
And then we'll add in some others.
And we'll let that whole image dissolve,
We'll let it fade away.
And then we'll just come back to the breath.
Again,
Just creating that spaciousness,
That clear sense again.
And then we're going to come to a neutral person.
So a neutral person is someone that we don't really have any attraction to,
But we also don't have any aversion to,
We don't really have a great deal of,
We maybe know their name,
Maybe they're someone in the local shop that you go to,
It's maybe someone you work with,
But they're,
They're someone in a different department,
You don't really know them.
You know,
It could be someone in the dry cleaner,
Someone in the gas station,
Again,
Just someone that you have a fairly common interaction with,
But you just,
You don't have any attraction or aversion to them.
We're going to imagine them,
We're going to imagine their suffering,
Because we can,
We know,
Even when we don't know someone,
We know everyone's got some doubts,
Some fears,
Some disappointments,
You know,
And so we can imagine breathing in their,
Their,
Their disappointment,
Their fears,
And sending them back healing white light.
And then we'll let that person go,
Come back to the breath.
And then we will come to a difficult person.
So,
The difficult person,
Don't pick the most difficult person in your life,
Don't,
Don't pick someone that you hate.
This is a very intense practice,
We are imagining taking on someone's pain,
And it can start to feel really confusing doing this practice on someone that we hate.
So,
Again,
Just someone we have,
And I find where this is really best,
Someone that there's just a little bit of irritation or frustration,
You could see how it could start building into ill will or anger or hatred towards that person,
Like they're a good one,
You could be like,
You know what,
There's just a little bit of irritation around this person.
So,
Let me,
So I'll choose that person,
Maybe it's your neighbor,
They play a little bit of music too loudly.
You know,
Someone at work that just kind of irritates you a little bit,
They haven't really done anything wrong,
But you just,
You know,
Kind of irritates you a little bit,
Maybe it's someone you've set a boundary with,
And not someone who's really harmed you,
And that's why you had to set a boundary,
But someone that you've,
You've set a boundary with,
But again,
You want to make sure that you're not building any resentment towards this person.
So,
This can be a really good practice.
So,
Again,
We're going to bring in a difficult person,
We're going to do the same thing,
We're going to imagine their fears and pain and disappointments,
Because we know that's universal,
Everyone has them,
And then we're just going to imagine sending back that healing white light.
And if at any point,
And with any person yourself,
Even the person you care about,
Or the difficult person,
The neutral person,
At any point that it feels like it's too much,
Just come back to the breath,
Just come back to the breath.
This is a gradual practice,
It's why we kind of pick the people in the order that we do,
But you know,
Depending upon how far you,
How much compassion practices you've done in the past,
You know,
This can be sometimes a little bit overwhelming.
So,
So I would suggest don't abandon the practice,
Just come to your breath,
And when you feel a little bit more stable,
Because I'll be guiding us through,
Then you just kind of pick up,
Like,
Okay,
I'm ready to go back again.
So just know the breath is always there,
It's like child's pose in yoga,
It's always there for you,
If you're,
You know,
Know your mind,
Know your mind if you need a little bit of a break.
And then for the last,
So then we'll come back to the breath,
And then for the last part of our meditation,
We're going to imagine just all people in the world that are suffering,
Right?
Again,
We don't have to think too specifically about,
You know,
The most horrific things that are going on,
But just to really imagine all the people in the world that are just dealing with their struggles,
And we imagine taking it on,
And at this point,
We're going to imagine the white light coming out of every pore in our body,
Like we're just this vessel of just sending out this healing white light to the whole world.
And then after a couple minutes,
We'll just come back,
We'll do a couple minutes on the breath again to close out the practice.
And then of course,
Then we'll talk a little bit more about ways in which to incorporate this practice off of the cushion.
So I imagine we're probably going to be about 30 minutes doing the meditation.
And again,
If it gets difficult at any point,
Just come to the breath.
And,
You know,
What we're overcoming here,
Our resistance to pain and suffering,
Our practice of indifference,
We've been,
For many of us,
We've been practicing this a lifetime.
And so there is a lot to work with here.
And so be kind to yourself,
Be gentle with yourself.
This is a practice,
But it is a practice that we have to do.
It doesn't work if we leave it on the shelf,
Like all of our practices,
None of them work on the shelf.
It's not just enough to intellectually know it.
The only way,
I shouldn't say the only way,
But I would say the best way to build our capacity for compassion is to visualize doing it.
And I have found Tonglen to be,
In my opinion,
The heavyweight of all compassion practices,
Because it's not just that we're looking at someone else's compassion,
Which is a beautiful practice.
I'm not,
It's a beautiful practice to even just wish,
You know,
To even just say,
I care about your suffering,
I see your suffering,
A beautiful practice.
But in Tonglen,
We're not just looking at it,
We are saying,
Let me take it from you and transform it.
Right?
That is a powerful,
Powerful practice in opening our hearts and letting our minds drop into the heart.
It is an incredibly powerful practice,
But we do have to do the practice.
It does not work if we just do it once every six months.
It's something that we can really regularly put into our meditation,
Into our doing as a formal meditation practice.
But also,
And many of you know,
I do this,
I practice Tonglen every single day.
And at the end of my meditation,
I just do a couple minutes of Tonglen.
Right?
And I used to do the formal practice a lot more.
But then I just found I just like to just sprinkle it in every single day.
And of course,
As I'm going about my day looking for places to practice Tonglen,
Which we'll talk about after the meditation.
So let's go ahead and do the meditation.
So just make sure that you're comfortable.
And you might need to make a few adjustments in your seat.
You've been sitting for close to 50 minutes.
If you are in a chair,
Uncross your legs.
Close your eyes.
And bring your awareness to your heart.
Bring your awareness to your breath as a whole.
Without forcing or controlling the breath.
Just feeling the breath as it moves through your body.
Anytime the mind wanders,
Gently bring your attention back to the breath.
Allowing your attention to sink into the rhythm of your breath.
And now bring your attention into your heart center.
Bring your attention into your heart center.
And imagine as if you are breathing in smoke through your heart center.
And sending back healing white light.
There is some heaviness to the smoke and that's okay.
We do want a certain texture there.
And even if you don't have a strong visual on the smoke or the light,
Just getting that sense,
That feeling for it.
And now bring to mind someone that you care about.
Who is experiencing some pain right now.
Nothing too heavy,
But enough for you to work with here.
And as you imagine this person in front of you,
Feel as though you are breathing in their pain.
Through the smoke.
And that you're breathing out healing white light.
Breathing in their fear,
Their worries.
And sending them care and peace.
And you can draw the breath out a little bit longer here.
Making sure that the in-breath and the out-breath are equal.
So breathing in,
You feel their fears,
You're taking them on.
Breathing out,
You send them comfort,
You send them care.
Breathing in,
You feel their despair.
Breathing out,
You send them hope.
Really seeing this person in front of you.
Imagining what it is that they're going through.
And taking on,
Piece by piece,
Each part of their pain and suffering.
Breathing in their worries.
Sending them back support.
Breathing in all their doubts,
Their concerns.
And sending them back love.
And as you see this person in front of you,
And sending them back love.
And as you see them,
You start to notice a change.
A sense of relief.
Maybe a slight smile.
And you notice all the white light that's around them,
Caring for them,
Holding them.
And this might make you smile as well.
And then slowly letting their image fade into the white light.
Letting their image fade into the white light.
And just feel your breath at your heart.
Letting go of the smoke and the light for a few moments.
And now think back to a time recently,
The last few days,
Or the last few weeks,
When you were feeling down.
Maybe you were sick.
You were dealing with a difficult situation.
And imagine yourself as you were in that time in front of you.
And that you're breathing in the smoke,
The pain,
The suffering.
And sending back all the pain and suffering.
Beautiful,
Radiant white light.
Breathing in any fears that we were experiencing at that time.
And sending back care.
Breathing in any self-doubts that we were having.
And sending back love.
Breathing in any discomfort.
And sending back comfort.
Breathing in any sadness we might have been feeling.
And sending back peace and care.
And we can imagine all the people in the world that were going through something very similar to what we were experiencing.
And they're all there with us.
As we visualize breathing in the collective pain.
And sending back brilliant,
Healing white light.
Breathing in all the fears.
And sending back concern and support.
Breathing in all the doubts.
And sending back care.
And we can imagine the white light building in front of us.
All these people that were in that time in front of us.
All these beings,
Including us.
Feeling as though they've been seen and heard.
Their pain acknowledged.
And they feel so much better.
You see and you sense that lightness in front of you.
And then slowly,
Everyone dissolves into the white light.
And you bring your attention back to the breath.
Stabilizing the mind,
Your heart.
And now bringing to mind a neutral person.
Someone you see fairly regularly.
But you really don't know much about them.
And you really don't have feelings one way or another for them.
And you can imagine them in front of you.
And just imagine some of the fears and the concerns that they might experience.
Breathing in those fears.
And sending back care.
And just imagine some of the fears and the concerns that they might experience.
Breathing in those fears.
And sending back healing white light.
Breathing in their worries.
And sending them back care.
Breathing in their frustrations,
Their disappointments.
And sending them back a sense of calm and ease.
And we can really just imagine that anything that we've experienced,
They're experiencing too.
Any regrets that they have.
We can breathe them in.
And send them back tranquility.
Any doubts that they experience,
We take them on.
And we send them back kindness.
And we see more of the white light around them.
And we see the smile on their face.
As they feel lighter.
And then slowly let them dissolve into the white light.
Returning your attention to the breath.
And then thinking now of a difficult person.
Not the most difficult person in our lives.
But someone that's maybe just irritating us a little bit.
There's a little bit of a disagreement with.
Nothing too heavy.
And as you imagine this person in front of you,
Visualize breathing in all their fears and their worries.
We know they have them.
And sending back beautiful,
Peaceful white light.
And breathing in all their disappointments.
And sending back kindness.
And breathing in all the things that irritate and frustrate them.
And sending back support and care.
And breathing in their doubts,
Their insecurities.
And sending back peace.
And as you see them resting in this beautiful white light that you've been sending them,
You see them as a real human being with feelings,
With insecurities and doubts and fears.
And as you see them resting in this beautiful white light that you've been sending them,
And yet in this white light that you've given them,
You've provided some relief and some intimacy between the two of you.
And with a smile on your face,
You allow them to dissolve into the white light.
And returning your attention to the breath and returning your attention to the breath.
And then we can imagine all the people in the world that are struggling today.
The single mom.
The person working two jobs.
They're so tired.
Those that are going through a breakup.
An argument,
Some difficulty.
Some who have lost their jobs,
Their income.
And we can imagine that we're breathing into our heart center all of this suffering,
All of this pain.
And out of every pore in our being,
In every direction,
We radiate out white light.
Sending peace to all these beings in the world.
So we breathe in all the fears,
The worries,
The concerns.
And we send out peace and love and kindness.
And we breathe in all the doubts,
All the anxieties.
And we send out a sense of ease and serenity.
Really feeling in our hearts that we are taking this on from those that can't bear it.
Relieving them of their pain and sending them back the love they so desperately want.
And you can feel the whole world,
Every being,
Including yourself,
Bathed in this healing white light.
Feeling this moment of intimacy,
Of connection,
Of meaning.
We're all resting in this white light together.
And then slowly all the beings,
Everything dissolves into the white light.
And we bring our attention to the breath.
And when you're ready,
You can open your eyes.
I hope that was peaceful for everyone.
Transformative.
Helping us come closer to the pain and suffering of others and including our own pain and suffering.
And really having this understanding that compassion wouldn't exist without suffering.
That in fact they are born of each other.
And so often we look at suffering and we do think,
Why does this have to happen in the world?
And I don't really have an explanation for why it happens in the world,
But what I can tell you is that without it there would be no compassion.
And without compassion there would be no wisdom.
There would be no intimacy.
Because it really is in our pain and suffering that we really connect with one another on such a deeper level.
Most of our connections tend to be on such a superficial level.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
But we also need that deep,
Meaningful connection as well.
So we don't want to shy away from pain and suffering.
We want to be able to come closer to it with compassion,
With empathy,
With wisdom.
Not with separation,
Not with distinction.
Right?
Yeah,
V,
I will upload this,
Absolutely.
I will also upload the full class as well.
So I'm glad,
Idy,
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
And Filippa,
So glad.
And Michelle.
And Jennifer,
Oh,
I'm so glad.
Your first Tonglen,
Oh,
I'm so glad.
Yeah.
And Anthea,
Okay,
Great,
Great.
And Emma,
Also good to see you.
Good.
Yeah,
I'll upload all of this onto Insight Timer as well.
There are also,
I mean,
I'm sure there are hundreds of really good Tonglen meditations on Insight Timer.
And I will just say this.
It is a good idea to do guided,
Particularly in the beginning.
Sometimes we can just get distracted.
And it is an intense practice.
And trying to hold our concentration can sometimes be on the object,
The person that we're looking at or the group of people.
It can be challenging for us.
So doing it as a guided meditation can be a particularly helpful way to do it.
So,
And I do recommend if you can,
There's got to be some type of heart-opening practice every week.
Every week,
We've got to be doing a formal sitting heart-opening practice in some way.
So,
Tonglen,
Really if we're sitting with doing Tonglen two,
Three times a week,
That is just,
That is helping.
In fact,
That is helping to sustain your attention because it is a concentration practice.
And so much of a struggle with the concentration part in our mindfulness practice or mantra practice,
Which is also a concentration practice.
Loving kindness is also a concentration where we're sustaining our attention on a particular object.
And so the compassion practices,
And so there's big C compassion and little c compassion and all the loving kindness and the gratitude and the forgiveness and the kindness,
The generosity,
The care,
All those practices as well I would put under kind of the little c practices.
But the big c compassion practices and the Tonglen as being in my mind,
In my opinion,
The most powerful compassion practice that we have,
Or at least that I am aware of,
I should say that,
That I'm aware of.
The more that we engage in it,
The more it helps us in our mindfulness meditation,
The more that it helps us in our mindfulness practice.
Yeah,
And Jennifer,
Like meta practice,
Yes.
Beautiful,
Beautiful practice,
Loving kindness practice,
Absolutely beautiful.
And something that we should all be practicing as well,
Right?
We always need to be opening the heart.
But there is something about coming to pain and suffering that moves us to another level of practice.
And also when we think about the four viharas in Buddhist practice,
Loving kindness and then compassion,
Right?
And then sympathetic joy and equanimity,
Right?
That we should not forget compassion practices and then and again just bringing it as Tonglen.
It is so different because it really does enable us to sit with someone or to even just,
Again,
To sit with our own pain and suffering,
Right?
To be able to breathe it in and then just even just,
Oh,
And I'm just sending light to it,
Right?
We're not trying to change or we're not trying to stop it from happening but,
You know,
We're able to be with it.
And again,
When we're with another person that is suffering and that deeply vulnerable place that they are in in that moment with the pain that they are experiencing in that moment that we can sit there and breathe and be okay with their pain and just create that space that they need to grieve,
To not need,
To not kind of,
Oh,
I need to fix this,
I need to change this,
I need to get past this but to just be there with another being like,
What a deeply intimate and meaningful experience.
I guarantee you walk away from that and you think,
I wouldn't have not done that for the world versus how many times we've all walked out of other,
Of situations like that and thought,
Oh my god,
That was so uncomfortable I just didn't know what to do.
And so many people are hurting in the world.
So many people are hurting in the world.
We're hurting as well,
Right?
We need to be able to be with pain and suffering.
It is where the meaning and connection comes from.
The deep,
Deep meaning and connection.
Okay,
From Janna,
Oh good to see you or Janna,
Probably it's Janna,
Sorry from the Netherlands.
Oh,
I'm so glad.
Oh,
I'm so glad that this was good for you.
I'm so glad.
And Richard,
I'm so glad.
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
And for I.
D.
,
And I hope I'm saying your name right,
I.
D.
,
I mean,
I would suggest if you can do 20,
30 minutes.
I think what we did was,
Might have been a little bit longer than 30 minutes.
But you know,
20 minutes,
20 minutes to start,
Right?
And again,
You know,
You can put in,
Because especially if this one's a little longer,
You know,
You can put in Tonglen,
In Insight Timer and you can find many,
You can probably even find some 10 minute ones.
You may not have that much time.
But of course,
The longer the time that we can spend and really building to all the different groups,
It's a really well-rounded if we can do it where we're doing it for ourselves,
Where we're doing it for someone we care about,
A neutral person,
A difficult person in the world.
We're kind of really covering all of the bases.
It's really,
It's a deeply well-rounded practice.
So,
So,
Okay.
So,
So again,
20,
30 minutes I think is a really,
Is a good,
Is a good amount of time.
And then also just to remember that we can be doing Tonglen all the time.
You're going about your day any time,
Any time you're stuck in line,
Any time you're stuck in line,
Right?
We know how frustrated everyone gets,
Right?
We walk up to the long line at the supermarket or the bank or wherever it happens to be and we know that everyone is in pain in that moment.
Most people are in pain right in that moment,
Even if they're on their phone I guarantee you they're in pain because that does not relieve our pain,
Even though I don't think it does.
That you're just standing there and you're just imagining all the irritation and the frustration of the people in front of you and the people behind you and you imagine taking it in and just sending out that healing white light to everyone,
Right?
Just sending out peace,
Right?
You take in all their discomfort,
Their fears of being late,
You just send them back peace and kindness and tranquility,
Right?
And you just,
It's that,
It changes that situation.
So again,
A situation we would normally look at and say,
This is bad,
This is a long line,
This is bad,
We're so programmed to think anytime we're delayed that this is bad,
It is giving us the time to practice some Tonglen.
We know the people there are suffering,
We know they're in pain,
So let's take this situation and transform it.
And again,
It then often does change,
It can move into some type of action,
Again,
Even if it's just a smile,
Someone's really frustrated and you know,
We would maybe just say to them like,
Yeah,
This is a little frustrating,
Isn't it?
You know,
Not to try and say like,
I've been sending you peace and light,
You should feel better,
Right?
Because you know,
Just to acknowledge where someone's at,
That also really helps in that moment when someone's frustrated and angry and go,
Yeah,
This is tough,
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah,
Where are you headed later,
Right?
And maybe you engage in a conversation that gets them a little bit focused off their stress and start,
Oh,
Well,
Where are you headed and what's going on and how often do you come to the store?
I love this store,
What other store?
You know,
Like you never know what could come out of it or even you notice behind you,
Right?
I always think of this example if it's someone that you can tell they're frustrated,
They're super frustrated or the mom or the dad with the screaming children and you're feeling so good and you're feeling so content that you say,
You know what,
Go in front of me,
Go ahead.
I'm not in a rush,
Go ahead,
Right?
And then it leads to that act of kindness and so even in their frustration,
Like they can think like,
Well,
Someone really saw my pain and suffering and they let me go ahead of them.
So it really does lead to action as well and at the very least,
We've also just transformed our own situation where we're feeling more at peace,
We're feeling like it's okay to be in a long line,
I'm sitting here practicing Tonglen,
Right?
I'm understanding the wisdom of emptiness,
Right?
That nothing is inherently one thing,
Right?
That it's how I'm seeing it,
I'm opening up to all the possibilities of what could be happening here,
Right?
So it's again,
It's that wisdom we're opening the heart,
Our intellectual understanding is dropping down the heart and it's becoming wisdom.
It's how it becomes wisdom.
So anytime you encounter a long line,
You're stuck in traffic,
There's a crying baby on the plane,
My god,
Tonglen for the parents of that child and the child of course as well.
You hear an ambulance driving by,
Right?
And just for a moment,
Like thinking about the person in there and thinking about the family that's getting the call and you just,
You take a moment,
You transform that moment as a moment of deep connection,
Right?
Instead of just,
Oh,
An ambulance,
I'm glad it's not me,
I hope it's not someone I know.
It's that,
No,
This is another human being and then you make it a deeply intimate and personal situation.
There are countless,
Countless ways that we can practice Tonglen throughout our day.
And just those little minutes,
Just those few minutes here and there,
Right?
And as you're asking Aidee,
Like,
So how often should you practice the formal sitting of meditation,
Of Tonglen?
You know,
Two,
Three times a week is a good time,
Is a good amount to be practicing it.
You can also,
As I've shared in my own practice,
I finish my meditation practice with Tonglen.
So I just,
At the very end,
After I dedicate my merit,
I spend a few minutes just thinking about a couple of people that are suffering.
I think about anyone that I'm having a bit of irritation with or that it could possibly turn into that because this is where the work needs to be done.
Don't let it go any further than that,
Right?
I want to keep that person in my heart to remember that whatever difficulties I'm having with them,
They have their struggles too,
And we tend to forget that.
When we get irritated with another person,
We tend to paint them with this very unkind,
Unflattering brush,
And we're not looking at the whole person.
And the more that I can see them as a whole person,
They've got their suffering too,
They've got their challenges too.
It helps let go of any story that we have about them that's kind of fixing them in one way,
And it just opens us up.
We're more intimate with them.
Really,
It really does have an effect.
And I shared this a year ago,
Or a year and a half ago I think on live,
And I think I'd mentioned the follow-up,
But I'll share it again.
So a year and a half ago,
I had gotten a,
This was probably one of the rudest texts I've ever received from anyone,
Ever.
So the first text actually came in from this woman that I know,
I don't know her,
I do know her actually,
Sorry,
I know her.
I've even driven down to Baja a couple times with her,
Caravanned with her.
And after those,
I kind of kept a little bit of distance from her after I got to know her a little bit better.
So,
In any case,
She had texted me and asked,
Was I doing my Sunday meditation classes here?
Because I do them during the season down here in Mexico.
I saw the message and I thought,
Oh,
I'm not really sure I want her to come to the classes.
So I really was thinking about it,
Like,
I know she's struggling,
She she struggles with a lot of people.
She just tends to create a lot of chaos wherever she goes.
And I was thinking,
Like,
Do I want her to come to the classes?
You know,
I want to protect our sangha.
Jeannie,
Who's on here,
Comes to our Sunday sangha.
And I want to protect the integrity of the group and it's a very safe place and it's a very you know,
It's a very special time.
But then on the other hand,
I think,
My God,
This woman could really use our Sunday sangha.
So,
I was waiting to try and think about it and kind of let it settle in.
And I wasn't going to immediately say no,
But I wasn't immediately saying yes.
So I waited.
But on WhatsApp,
And that's the messenger we mostly use down here,
For those of you that use WhatsApp,
You know you can see if the other person has seen your message or not.
So she got the two blue checks,
I had seen the message.
And it was still,
Probably about six or seven hours later,
I still hadn't responded one way or the other.
And she fired off a text to me that was you are,
You saw my text.
I saw that you saw my text.
And you didn't respond and,
I mean,
She just called me so many horrible names.
You know,
You think you're a Buddhist and you are just the most,
I won't even repeat,
Because I don't think I can even swear on here,
Just some of the most awful,
Awful things that she had said to me.
And of course there was that initial like oh my god,
Like this is wow.
And there was some hurt,
Right,
And there was some self compassion,
Because it hurts to have someone call you those kinds of names,
Like oh my god.
And then I thought yeah,
This is exactly why I was waiting to decide whether you should come to the classes or not.
And I send her back a text and it was something to the effect of your response seems a little bit outsized for the for the infraction of responding late to a text.
Something like that,
Like I was acknowledging like that seemed a little bit outsized for just responding late to a text.
And then I blocked her.
I'm not going to go back and forth with this.
And I do know who she is,
And I know that I'm like she is struggling.
She is challenged.
And every day then I added her into my Tonglen.
Every day I would see her and I would imagine her suffering.
And she is and I do feel badly for her.
She has difficulty making friends because like I'd never felt the brunt of her anger before,
But she had been doing it everywhere.
I'd seen it happening so much,
And that's why I distanced myself.
So,
Every day it was just maybe 60 seconds on her.
But I kept her in my heart.
It never turned into resentment.
It never turned into anger towards her.
I never felt I needed to defend myself.
It was really like it was doing its job.
And then a year later I see her because she lives down here in La Ventana now too.
I can't believe it took so long before I actually ran into her.
And as I saw her in fact I was going with my mom and a couple friends we were walking into a restaurant and we were waiting to be seated and then she comes walking down to the restaurant.
And when I saw her I didn't have any anger towards her.
I didn't have any resentment.
I simply smiled and said hi.
I won't say her name,
But and she came and gave me a hug.
I'm like,
How are you?
And she's like,
Oh I'm doing great.
How are you doing?
Great.
Oh,
I'm so glad to see you.
We walked away and it was very genuine.
It was very genuine.
And I still have her blocked.
I would not have her come to the classes because I also have enough history to know that she's just not very stable.
And and yet through doing the Tonglan practice I felt like there was a genuine it wasn't like faking it.
It wasn't awkward running into her.
If I run into her again it's not going to be awkward.
Right?
It was,
It kept my heart open to her.
But also the wisdom to understand,
Yes,
She should still remain blocked and I wouldn't want her to come to the classes.
So it really does.
It is practical.
It is a practical practice.
So just to say again on the how often a few times a day,
A few times a week,
If you are struggling with someone,
I would encourage everyone,
Add this on at the end of your practice.
We can add on,
Like we can add on a little Tonglan or we can add on a little sympathetic joy.
We can add on a little loving kindness or we can start with one of these.
Again they don't,
You know,
We can make it our formal practice and after a while you might find that you just want to you know,
Hey,
I just feel like I just want to keep,
I want to keep a consistency with it now.
And I want to keep doing it every day.
And you will know if it's effective or not.
You will know in your interactions with other people.
You will know if your irritation starts to go towards ill will or anger or hatred.
It's like,
Okay,
The little bit,
Maybe the minute or the few minutes after my meditation isn't enough then.
Okay,
I need to maybe come back to the formal sitting.
So AD as you're doing it,
Say two times a week,
Three times a week,
Maybe every other day.
Maybe you do your mindfulness meditation one day.
Maybe you do your Tonglen the following day.
And making sure that it's not becoming something you're resisting,
Right?
Because this is different for us.
We are not used to looking at pain and suffering.
So you might be building towards every other day.
So from Yana what would I recommend in Tonglen with a close person that gives trouble accepting your boundaries,
Like same thoughts,
Like addressing a difficult person?
Yeah,
I mean that,
You know,
Tonglen,
Loving kindness,
Both of those can be good for a difficult person in that situation.
And as,
You know,
And Felipa,
You're doing the Setting Boundaries course I have right now on Insight Timer.
You know,
The heart is a place that we go to to really make sure that if we're setting a boundary with someone that we don't carry resentment or anger around them.
Because what is the point of setting a boundary?
Okay,
I don't see you anymore,
But I let you in my head all the time,
You know,
Thinking thoughts of ill will and anger and resentment.
And that's my practice then.
Oh,
I didn't do gratitude today,
I did anger.
I spent two hours or an hour on anger about this other person.
So we don't want to,
We want to make sure that when we're setting a boundary with someone that we don't hold resentment for them in our hearts.
So depending upon how difficult the person is,
If it's a little bit of,
A little bit of,
If it's not like they've,
If it's someone that's really harmed you,
I wouldn't do Tonglen.
As I said,
I think there's just too much,
It's not going to ring true and it's not going to be helpful.
But if it's just a little bit of irritation or frustration,
Yeah,
I find Tonglen can be great for that.
But loving kindness will always work as well.
Okay,
And Emily,
You're asking if you understand the good it is for us,
For practicing staying with it.
Oh,
And not only the positive and the negative,
It is all right.
And I think I'm understanding your question.
It is very much a practice that transforms us.
Yes,
It is transforming us.
So,
And it is like we're looking at what we see as typically that we look at at suffering as negative.
You know,
What we're doing is we're seeing it's not just negative.
Look at what's coming out of it.
Right?
So we start getting out of those binary ways of seeing the world,
Good,
Bad.
And we start to see it as more like,
Oh no,
Out of this I can transform and I can become more compassionate and I can be more empathetic.
And I can have more deep and meaningful connections.
I can be the person that's there for someone when they're suffering.
And how wonderful to be there for someone when they're suffering.
To also know our own limitations,
Though it doesn't mean we go from one person to the next,
Because of course we have our limitations.
And,
You know,
It may be that you can be with one person a day.
Maybe you have a few friends that are suffering and you don't want to schedule them all in one day.
Right?
You want to kind of pace yourself a little bit as well.
And I do think the more that you actually do the practice,
The more understanding,
Because we have compassion for ourselves.
We do have limitations and we want to honor those limitations so that we stay compassionate.
And sometimes that compassion just means to ourselves,
Like,
Yeah,
This has been a lot today,
Meredith,
This has been a lot.
It's okay to say no.
It's okay to pull back at times,
Too,
And not to feel bad,
Like,
Oh,
No,
I thought you were a kind and caring person.
That doesn't mean that we always have to be there for everyone.
Because if we don't know how to say no when we're being pushed beyond our limits,
Then all our compassion is going to go out the window.
So it is about protecting our limitations as well and understanding,
Like,
I want to remain a kind and compassionate person and right now I need my kindness.
I need my compassion.
I know my energy levels are low right now and I've had maybe a big day and maybe I've had some stuff that I've had to deal with.
And it's like,
Okay,
I had these things I needed to deal with and so I need to have compassion for myself so that I won't use up all my compassion.
And then that fear,
Because we can get so overwhelmed,
And this often happens with people that,
Like activists or people that just their kindness not rooted,
Or kindness and compassion not rooted in wisdom,
Where they just expand and expand and expand and eventually they become so burned out.
Like,
I can't do that anymore.
I've got to back up.
I can't do it anymore.
So there's real wisdom in here and understanding our limitations as well with our practice.
Thank you,
Melanie.
And I do know it,
At now two and a half hours,
The quality of the words coming out of this mouth are going to start to deteriorate here,
So let's go ahead and just,
We'll bring our live to an end.
So,
Yeah,
Let's just close our eyes for one minute.
Just one minute,
Just to let everything settle in.
And just feel your breath.
Just noticing whatever it is that you're feeling right now.
And just allowing it to be.
And bringing our hands to the heart center.
And just taking a moment to dedicate the merit of our practice for our time on the talk and the meditation.
Just thinking about someone we love and sending our merit to them.
And when you're ready,
You can open your eyes.
And always nice to end our practice with an acknowledgement for the time that we have spent here and some generosity in sending our merit.
It transforms us.
And lots of blessings and gratitude and love to all of you.
So thank you.
Thank you for spending your Sunday morning with me.
Thank you.
