Releasing Reactivity (Healing Vulnerability)

Welcome,

Friends,

And thanks so much for listening.

This is a meditation about releasing reactivity,

Meeting our own needs,

And also healing vulnerability.

We've all had the experience of becoming reactive when life's gotten challenging.

Perhaps we react with anger,

Judgment.

Maybe we get defensive or shut off or guarded.

Maybe we get critical and harsh with ourselves.

These defense mechanisms can show up in situations and relationships and also in how we're communicating to ourselves.

It's completely natural to become reactive when we feel threatened or when we notice that we're becoming vulnerable.

It's our way of protecting ourselves from pain,

Physical or emotional.

We also must realize that by living in an unconscious state of reactivity limits us and it perpetuates a life run by fear.

Fear is necessary for survival,

But today much of the fear that we feel is self-created by worrying about potential threats that could hurt us.

And that blocks us from living a wholehearted life where we feel connected to ourselves,

To others,

And to all of life.

So how do we break the cycle of reactivity and find peace in the midst of challenge?

Well the first step is honoring the protective programming,

Whether it be anger,

Judgment,

Withdrawing or guarding.

It's not trying to hurt us.

It's simply our brain's way of keeping us safe from further harm.

Once we've honored the protective programming,

We can take it a step further and investigate where we're hurting.

Chances are there's an unmet need or a sense of disconnection that needs our attention.

So we'll explore this together.

Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down.

Close down your eyes and turn your attention inside.

And begin to deepen your breath.

Taking a long,

Slow inhalation,

Filling up and letting the breath go,

Emptying the lungs completely.

And again,

Filling up,

Letting the belly soften as it fills.

And exhaling out.

Scan your life for a time when you became reactive,

Whether it was anger,

Judgment,

Becoming guarded,

Withdrawn or defensive.

Perhaps it's a situation or in a relationship.

Maybe with yourself,

You've become harsh or critical of yourself.

See yourself in this situation where you're reacting.

Feel what it's like to be in anger,

To be in judgment,

What it feels like to be defensive or detached.

Notice the body.

Do you feel tense?

Maybe there's a temperature associated with this reactivity.

Tune into the breath as it becomes shallow or limited.

Now just let those feelings be there.

If anger is there,

Don't push it away.

Stay present with it as a way to honor it.

See its innocence,

That it's not there to hurt you,

That it's simply there to protect you.

There's nothing to judge or fix or change.

Stay here with this feeling for a few more breaths.

While we want to honor the feelings of reactivity,

We also want to recognize that that's only one option,

That we could choose a different way of being in this situation.

Now ask yourself,

What am I trying to protect?

Where am I hurting?

If I wasn't reacting with anger,

Judgment or defensiveness or any other protective program,

What would I be feeling?

What would be there?

Is there a feeling of not being good enough?

Is there fear,

Fear of being judged or fear of failing?

Is there sadness or loneliness there?

As you connect with the vulnerability,

Let your heart soften with compassion,

With self-compassion.

And become present with the feeling,

Present with the pain or the fear from the heart space.

Let your breath deepen.

Feel your heart open.

Perhaps there's a message that you want to extend to the part of you that's feeling hurt,

Or vulnerable or afraid.

Maybe it's something like,

It's okay.

I'm here.

I'm not going anywhere.

Maybe the message is,

I see you and I love you.

It's okay.

As you begin to meet your own needs with a quality of allowance and acceptance by extending a healing to what's there.

Just notice what you notice about the state of the body and the heart.

Notice about the breath,

How things have changed.

Now having addressed your own needs,

Reconnect with this triggering situation.

Notice if you feel differently about it.

Now viewing this situation with an open heart changes your experience.

It changes what's possible.

Perhaps you have more understanding or clarity.

Maybe you can view the other person or people involved with more compassion.

This practice helps you broaden your lens so that you can see more of what's there and access your most loving,

Compassionate self.

This is a tool to come back to over and over again and continue to practice.

So that you spend more of your life connected to your heart,

Connected to your truth.

Then you can share that with others.

Thank you for listening and many blessings.

Namaste.