Thank you for choosing to meditate with me.
Today at the start of the new year,
I would like to talk about change and how it can affect us.
Let's begin by getting into a comfortable position.
Closing our eyes if you're comfortable with that.
And beginning to focus on our breathing.
Inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply.
As you inhale,
Inhale slowly.
Feel your abdomen expand.
Feel the new air rush into your lungs with that new fresh oxygen.
And as you exhale,
Exhale into relaxation.
Letting go of the stresses of the day.
Inhale again.
And exhale into relaxation.
Allow your jaw to unclench.
Feel your shoulders and neck loosen.
Feel your body relax through your legs and your back.
Take a moment just to breathe.
2021 was a year of change for me.
I began a new and promising job.
And my family began the move to another city for this job.
As we packed,
We had to say goodbye to a lot of things.
We were downsizing and it was good for us.
As we were finally getting moved,
We were really beginning to settle in.
Into the new city,
Into a new life.
The company unfortunately found itself in some financial problems.
Having to downsize,
I was quickly out of a job.
Now this was months later.
And I was fortunate enough to be able to move back to where we were originally from rather quickly.
It was a shock though.
It was a surprise.
And looking back,
I'm still working through many of the emotions that arose from this sudden and unexpected change.
I wasn't prepared for the job loss.
I wasn't prepared for the sudden and swift change to our entire future as a family.
I was in shock for days.
The change of accepting the new job and moving there seemed so exciting at first.
We were excited for a new city,
New adventures,
Excited for the new job.
Which is why it was so hard having it all ripped away from us without anything we did wrong.
This was a very hard process.
But that's how change happens sometimes.
That's what life does.
It changes.
Sometimes the change is expected,
Wanted or sought after.
Other times it's the exact opposite.
We do have control in our lives to a certain extent.
We can't maybe control all the changes that will happen through our life.
But we can work hard and make sure that we can do the best we can to respond to those changes.
You know,
We can work hard at our jobs and put in extra effort to get a promotion.
Those are changes we can work towards.
We can train for our sport or our activity to become better at it.
To change the calibre of competition.
We can set goals.
We can plan for change.
Sometimes.
But it's when we can't plan for it,
When it happens and we're not at all prepared.
That's when it's the most difficult to deal with.
For me,
Dealing with the unexpected change required a number of things to what I think might have led to the ease of the impact of that change.
I made a conscious decision to talk about my feelings with my family every day as much as I could.
And this went against everything I've been taught my whole life.
You know,
Men don't show emotions.
We just,
You know,
Buck up and keep going.
We just plough through.
But I've been fortunate enough to learn more since leaving my parents' house and,
You know,
Growing up.
I've been able to learn that we need things like a support network.
We need a support network of people that we've gotten to know who understand us,
Who we trust and who we trust to talk to.
And there's no limit or size on this support network.
It could be one person,
Could be 20.
I'm fortunate because I have my wife and my daughter who I can talk to and they can talk to me.
But I've also built relationships and friendships and just strong bonds with many people in my life on purpose.
People who I've gotten to know and feel a sense of connection with them.
Specifically men who understand that speaking about your emotions is not weakness.
It's actually strength.
The more we speak about these things,
The faster we can get through them and become stronger people.
And then it's okay.
Sometimes you just are having a tough day emotionally or spiritually or whatever.
And you just need to talk to somebody.
So I've been working really hard on that support network.
I've been working really hard to purposely build these friendships and these relationships.
I've also,
Through these friendships and relationships and through much of my own work,
I have worked on my spiritual support network.
And the other thing that I've been working on for a long time is simply feeling my emotions.
Whether it's anger or sadness or happiness or joy or excitement or anxiety.
I try not to label them as good or bad.
I just try to let them flow through me.
I try to understand that this is what I'm feeling right now.
And that's not necessarily bad or good.
And using these emotions to try to connect with myself more and understand why am I feeling this anxiety or why am I feeling this joy.
To purposely and consciously think about the source of these emotions.
I had a lot of anxiety about my financial future and the future of my family when I lost this job.
So I had to work through those anxieties.
I had to allow those anxieties to exist.
Because that's our body's way of coping sometimes.
It's our body's way of handling things.
It's our body's way of letting off that steam that you need to let off.
Or maybe just letting your brain know,
Hey something is wrong.
And it's a physical manifestation of our thoughts.
And so just allowing those to flow and not labeling them but also challenging them.
I had a lot of anger towards anybody.
And so I had to challenge that.
Am I really angry with that person or that thing or am I angry with the situation I'm in?
So how can I not take that out on everything and everyone around me?
How can I not drive people away?
And I found for me the answer was to just simply allow those feelings to come and go.
But to challenge them.
With some of those emotions and feelings you start to think less of yourself.
Or judge yourself for the way you've dealt with things.
I should have done this.
I should have done that.
I should have,
Should have.
I once had a very,
I call him a very wise person tell me once.
That for everybody that says,
Oh I should have,
I should.
Or you should,
You should.
He always just says to him,
I have a whole bag of shit over here and I don't need any more.
And I realized that I can't beat myself up for change that happens without my consent.
For change that happens without my input.
And for change that happens that I have no control over.
And so my anger about those things is more based on not having that control.
Allowing somebody else to have such a massive impact on my life and I can't do anything about it.
There's a lot of anxiety and anger about that.
But as I talked about these things.
As I talked about my emotions.
As I talked about how I felt.
Why I felt that way.
It became easier.
It became easier to talk about it.
It became easier to think about it.
And as I reached out not just to my wife or my daughter or my close family.
But to my friends and my support network.
They have interesting perspectives.
They've experienced similar things.
And I was able to lean on them and allow some of their wisdom to come in and help me deal with these things.
I do believe I was able to work through the emotions and the difficult part of such a sudden and unexpected change.
Much quicker than I normally would have.
And I spent way less energy trying to fight my emotions.
And it felt good.
It felt good to just feel angry sometimes.
It felt good to feel joy in moments.
It just felt good.
I am still going through the emotions of this change.
And that's okay.
As I've said it's okay to be angry or sad.
It's even angry to be angry.
It's okay to be angry or sad or feeling emotions about these changes years later.
Months later.
Weeks later.
There's no set path to dealing with these difficult and unexpected changes.
There's no right way or wrong way.
There's just your way.
As I take time to reflect on my 2021 and the changes that happened.
And the range of emotions me and my family have been through.
I can start to see the good things shining through.
I can see how I can learn from the change.
I can see how much the changes were needed in some cases.
And I can see that it's going to take a bit more time for me to let go of the anger and bitterness.
And that is all okay.
I want to go into 2022 knowing that I am working to change the things I can.
So I'm going to be better equipped to respond to those kinds of changes.
So I can react faster.
Because I can't control the change most of the time.
Because of that I will work on the things that I can control.
And I hope you can find yourself going into 2022 with renewed energy as well.
With a commitment to yourself.
To strengthen and to be as prepared as we can for the challenges that life throws at us.
To build friendships with intent.
To spend energy building your support network.
To work on allowing our emotions to be felt.
And not judging yourself for them.
To allow yourself time to react and begin healing from change.
And to know that you're not alone.
But that you are strong enough to weather these storms.
And as we near the end today,
Let's just take a moment.
A moment to really think about any changes that we have experienced recently.
Think about how we're feeling about those changes right now.
Question your feelings.
Ask them why you're feeling that way.
And then when you're ready begin thinking about the coming year.
Can you strengthen your support network?
Can you stop judging yourself?
Can you allow your emotions to flow through you?
Can you find a way to break out of your shell and talk about your emotions?
Or find a more productive way or positive way to talk about your emotions?
What can you do for yourself so that you can react and respond more quickly?
And with much less shock when these changes happen.
Let's just take a moment to think about these things.
What can you do for yourself?
What can you do for yourself?
Now as we come to a close today,
I want to thank you for spending your valuable time with me.
I am truly honored.
And I hope that you can move forward from this meditation feeling renewed and energized and excited.
For now,
Bring your focus back to your breathing.
Have those nice deep slow inhales and exhales.
Bring your attention back to the present moment.
Feel the room around you.
Bring your awareness to your surroundings once again.
And when you're ready,
Slowly open your eyes.
And I hope you have a truly amazing day.
Thank you.
