My name is Sadie and I'm a yogi in recovery.
So let's turn to the teachings of yoga and examine the word tapas for step 6.
Tapas,
No,
Not the appetizer,
But tapas in yogic terms is the friction that occurs when we go against the grain of habit.
It's the heat of transformation.
So you might think of tapas as that pose in yoga class that you can't bear to do one more breath.
It's that time when you call your sponsor and they tell you to do something that feels completely foreign.
Tapas is uncomfortable,
Sometimes even painful.
Our tendency as humans is to flee from pain.
It's a normal defense reaction to keep us safe.
But as addicts we have fled so intensely that we super glued ourselves to our addiction.
We became so attached to it that we lost sense of who we really are.
The heat of tapas over time will melt the glue of addiction and lead you to freedom.
But you have to be willing to stay for the whole process.
You have to stay.
Don't leave five minutes before the miracle happens.
So being willing to stay is the key to step 6,
Becoming entirely ready to have the defects of character removed.
This meditation will teach you how to stay.
So find a comfortable seat and close your eyes.
Turn your attention towards your breath,
Inhaling and exhaling through your nose.
And for right now,
Only focus on your breath.
When your mind begins to wander,
Keep coming back to your breath.
Your breath will continue to bring you back to the here and now.
Use it at any time during the meditation if your emotional climate gets so heated that you want to turn off the meditation and walk away.
Remember we're practicing how to stay.
Only then will you be able to stay.
Only then do we reap the benefits of tapas,
Transformation,
And freedom.
Thank you.
Now that you've taken a few moments to settle and sit quietly,
Notice what your mental patterns are like right here,
Right now in this moment.
Are you feeling bored?
Are you feeling anxious?
If your thoughts were a body of water,
What would the surface look like?
Give it a name.
Just notice.
In this practice,
You will begin to change your relationship to painful emotions by taking a step back and seeing an emotion as its own entity rather than a part of you.
So now,
Call to mind an emotion that is particularly difficult for you.
If you can't think of one on the spot,
You can borrow one of mine.
Embarrassment,
Sadness,
Disapproval,
Grief are all good examples.
So where do you feel that emotion in your body?
Remember,
The emotion is happening in a part of your body.
It isn't your body itself.
So notice where it's at and breathe into it for a few breath cycles.
Breathe into the part of your body that is experiencing the sensation of the emotion happening.
Now notice what color the emotion is.
What color is the emotion?
See it as a glowing sphere of color vibrating within your body.
On the inhale,
It glows brighter and gets bigger.
And on the exhale,
It shrinks back down.
Inhale it grows brighter and bigger.
On the exhale,
It shrinks back down.
Breathe with the color now for a few breath cycles.
Watch how it moves and grows.
Now,
Say hello to the emotion.
Hello sadness.
Hello grief.
I see you.
I'm aware of your presence.
Emotions aren't trying to take us out.
They're not the enemy.
They're just trying to get your attention.
So show it that you're paying attention and see what happens.
Repeat the phrases.
Hello.
I see you.
I'm aware of your presence.
You can direct this at a variety of different emotions or focus on one.
Interesting grows.
Now that you've begun to establish a peaceful relationship with your emotions,
You can invite it to move along.
Remember,
Asking the pain to move doesn't necessarily mean it will move right now,
But just stay with it.
Say hello,
I see you.
I'm aware of your presence.
Thank you for sharing.
Now it's time to move on and I will see you next time.
Imagine the glowing sphere of color moving through your body and out beyond your skin.
Watch it float away into the sky like a balloon getting smaller and smaller and smaller until it disappears completely.
The sensations that arose today may not be as strong as when they come naturally,
But use this time to practice so that the next time you get bombarded with an emotional upheaval it's easier to return to this practice.
Peace be with you.
Namaste.
