Alice's Adventures In Wonderland By Lewis Carroll: Chapter 2

Hello,

I'm Samson Treebark,

And today I'll be reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland,

Written by Lewis Carroll.

But before I do,

A little calming exercise.

Sit with your back straight up in a firm chair.

Place your feet flat on the floor.

Rest your hands in your lap.

And close your eyes.

Now expand your being as if you were a soft balloon,

And fill the entire room.

Expand yourself to all four walls.

Expand yourself to the floor.

Expand yourself to the ceiling.

Expand yourself to fill the very corners of the room.

Now slowly breathe in as you silently count to four.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Hold your breath to the count of four.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Slowly exhale to the count of four.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

This is a little calming exercise you can do when you feel you need to calm yourself down.

And when you do this exercise,

Do a repetition of this exercise five times.

And then you will be happy.

And now,

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland,

Written by Lewis Carroll and read by Samson Trebarke.

That's me.

Chapter Two.

Curiouser and curiouser,

Cried Alice.

She was so much surprised that for a moment she quite forgot how to speak good English.

Now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was.

Goodbye feet.

When she looked down at her feet,

They seemed to be almost out of sight.

They were getting so far off.

Oh,

My poor little feet.

I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now,

Dears.

I'm sure I shan't be able to.

I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you.

You must manage the best way you can.

But I must be kind to them,

Thought Alice,

Or perhaps they won't walk the way I want to go.

Let me see.

I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.

And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.

They must go by post,

She thought,

And how funny it'll seem,

Sending presents to one's own feet.

And how odd the directions will look.

Alice's right foot,

Esquire,

On the rocking chair,

Near the fireplace,

With Alice's love.

Oh dear,

What nonsense I'm talking.

Just then,

Her head struck against the roof of the hall.

In fact,

She was now rather more than nine feet high,

And she at once took up the golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

Poor Alice.

It was as much as she could do,

Lying down on her one side,

To look through into the garden with one eye.

But to get through was more hopeless than ever.

She sat down and began to cry again.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

Said Alice,

A great girl like you.

To go on crying in this way,

Stop this moment,

I tell you.

But she went on all the same,

Shedding gallons of tears until there was a large pool all around her,

About four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.

After a time,

She heard a little pattering of feet in the distance,

And she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.

It was the White Rabbit returning,

Splendidly dressed with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other.

He came trotting along in a great hurry,

Muttering to himself as he came,

Oh,

The Duchess,

The Duchess,

Oh,

Won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting?

Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help of anyone.

After when the Rabbit came near her,

She began in a low,

Timid voice,

If you please,

Sir.

The Rabbit started violently,

Dropped the white kid gloves and fan,

And scurried away into the darkness as far as he could go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves,

And as the hall was very hot,

She kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking.

Dear,

Dear,

How strange everything is today.

Even yesterday things went on as usual.

I wonder if I've been changed during the night.

Let me think.

Was I the same when I got up this morning?

Well,

I almost think.

I can remember feeling a little different.

But if I'm not the same,

The next question is,

Who in the world am I?

And that's the great puzzle.

And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself,

To see if she could have been changed for any of them.

I'm not sure I made her,

She said,

For her hair goes in such long ringlets,

And mine doesn't go in ringlets at all.

And I'm sure I can't be Mabel,

For I know all sorts of things,

And she,

Oh,

She knows such a very little.

Besides,

She's she,

And I'm I.

Oh dear,

How puzzling it all is.

I'll try if I know all the things I used to know.

Let me see.

Hmm.

Four times five is 12,

And four times six is 13,

And four times seven is,

Oh dear,

I shall never get to 20 at that rate.

Let's try geography.

London is the capital of Paris,

And Paris is the capital of Rome,

And vr,

Oh no,

London that's all wrong.

I'm certainly I must have been changed for Mabel.

I'll try and say a poem.

And she crossed her hands on her lap,

As if she were saying lessons,

And began to repeat it.

But her voice sounded hoarse and strange,

And the words did not come the same as they used to.

How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail,

And pour the water of the Nile on every golden scale?

How cheerfully he seems to grin,

How neatly spreads his claws,

And welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws.

Oh,

I'm sure those are not the right words,

Said poor Alice,

And her eyes filled with tears again as she went on.

I must be Mabel after all,

And I shall have to go and live in that little house,

And have next to no toys to play with.

And oh,

Ever so many lessons to learn.

No,

I've made up my mind about it.

If I'm Mabel,

I'll stay down here.

It'll be no use there putting their heads down and saying,

Come up again,

Dear.

I shall only look up and say,

Who am I then?

Tell me that first,

And then,

If I like being that person,

I'll come up.

If not,

I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else.

But oh,

Dear,

Cried Alice with a sudden burst of tears.

I do wish they would put their heads down.

I am so very tired of being all alone here.

As she said this,

She looked down at her hands and was surprised to see that she had put on one of the rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was talking.

How can I have done that,

She thought?

I must be growing small again.

She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it and found that as nearly as she could guess,

She was now about two feet high and was going on shrinking rapidly.

She soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding,

And she dropped it hastily just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

Hmm,

That was an arrow escape,

Said Alice,

A good deal frightened at the sudden change,

But very glad to find herself still in existence.

And now for the garden.

And she ran with all speed back to the little door.

But alas,

The little door was shut again and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as before.

And things are worse than ever,

Thought the poor child,

For I never was so small as this before,

Never.

And I declare it's too bad that it is.

As she said these words,

Her foot slipped and in another moment,

Splash.

She was up to her chin in salt water.

Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea and that in that case,

I can go back by railway,

She said to herself.

Alice had been to the seaside once in her life and had come to the general conclusion that wherever you go on the English coast,

You find some children digging in the sand with wooden spades,

Then a row of lodging houses and behind them a railway station.

However,

She soon laid out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high.

I wish I hadn't cried so much,

Said Alice as she swam about trying to find a way out.

I should be punished for it now,

I suppose,

By being drowned in my own tears.

That will be a strange thing to be sure.

However,

If everything is strange today,

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off and she swam nearer to make out what it was.

At first she thought it must be a walrus or a hippopotamus,

But then she remembered how small she was now and she soon made out there was only a mouse that had slipped in just like herself.

Would it be of any use now,

Thought Alice,

To speak to this mouse?

Everything is so out of the way down here that I should think very likely it can talk.

At any rate,

There's no harm in trying.

So she began,

Oh,

Mouse,

Do you know the way out of this pool?

I am very tired of swimming about here,

Oh,

Mouse.

Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse.

She had never done such a thing before,

But she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin grammar book.

A mouse,

Of a mouse,

To a mouse,

A mouse,

Oh,

Mouse.

The mouse looked at her rather inquisitively and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes,

But it said nothing.

Perhaps it doesn't understand English,

Thought Alice.

I dare say it's a French mouse.

Come over with William the Conqueror.

After with all her knowledge of history,

Alice had no clear notion how long anything had happened.

So she began again,

Où est ma chatte?

Which meant,

Where is my cat?

In French,

Which was the first sentence in her French lesson book.

The mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water and seemed to quiver all over with fright.

Oh,

I beg your pardon,

Cried Alice hastily,

Afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings.

I quite forgot you didn't like cats.

Not like cats?

Cried the mouse in a shrill passionate voice.

Would you like cats if you were me?

Well perhaps not,

Said Alice in a soothing tone.

Don't be angry about it.

And yet I wish I could show you our cat diner.

I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you only could see her.

She's such a dear,

Quiet thing.

Alice went on half to herself,

As she swam lazily about in the pool.

And she sits purring so nicely by the fire,

Licking her paws and washing her face.

And she's such a nice,

Soft thing to pet.

And she's such a capital one for catching mouse.

Oh,

I beg your pardon,

Cried Alice again,

For this time the mouse was bristling all over and she felt certain it must be really offended.

We won't talk about her anymore if you'd rather not.

We indeed,

Cried the mouse,

Who was trembling down to the end of his tail.

As if I would talk on such a subject.

Our family always hated cats.

Nasty,

Low,

Vulgar creatures.

Don't let me hear that name again.

Oh,

I won't indeed,

Said Alice in a great hurry,

To change the subject of conversation.

Are you?

Are you fond of dogs?

The mouse did not answer.

So Alice went on eagerly.

There's such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you.

A little bright-eyed terrier,

You know.

With those such long curly brown hair.

And it'll fetch things when you throw them.

And it'll sit up and beg for its dinner and all sorts of things.

I can't remember half of them.

And it belongs to a farmer,

You know.

And he says,

It's so useful it's worth a hundred pounds.

He says it kills all the rats and.

.

.

Oh dear,

Cried Alice in a sorrowful tone.

I'm afraid I've offended it again.

For the mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go,

And making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it.

Mouse dear,

Do come back again.

Maybe we won't talk about cats or dogs either,

If you don't like them.

When the mouse heard this,

It turned round and swam slowly back to her.

Its face was quite pale,

With fashion,

Alice thought.

And it said in a low trembling voice,

Let us get to the shore and then I'll tell you my history and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.

It was high time to go.

With the pools getting quite crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into it.

And there were a duck,

A dodo,

A lorry,

An iniglet,

And several other curious creatures.

Alice led the way and the whole party swam to the shore.