Self-acceptance as a pathway.
To greater freedom in our lives,
Healing.
There have been so many times in my life when I felt distraught,
I felt inner tension and stress.
I felt depression.
I felt sadness or.
.
.
Just somehow off in my experience of my daily life.
Time and time again.
I have found,
Not all of the time,
But often when I'm having these experiences,
It's because I'm in some way not accepting myself.
I'm in some way rejecting myself.
Or judging myself.
Or living inside of this feeling that I have to be doing more.
I need to be better.
I need to be different.
Something needs to be different.
And rather than accepting myself as I am,
Understanding that this is an unfolding journey.
There's this sense of needing to be different than I am.
And that non-acceptance that judgment,
That resistance,
That rejection of myself.
Is the cause of that distress that I'm experiencing.
Now again,
Of course,
There are many reasons that one can feel distress or depression or sadness.
I'm sharing for me that many times I've found that it is not accepting myself,
Not being in harmony with myself.
Not being compassionate with myself ultimately.
That causes this inner distress.
Of course this makes sense.
Meaning it makes sense,
Of course,
Why I might feel this way.
It also makes sense.
Why any of us Experience non-acceptance.
Now what's interesting,
Even for myself,
Sometimes I'm completely unaware.
That I'm not accepting myself.
Completely unaware.
And then,
Of course,
As Her Holiness Saima teaches,
Awareness is the first step to transformation.
So when I become aware,
I have the opportunity.
To move toward self-acceptance.
So again,
It makes sense why we would feel that something is wrong with us or something needs to be different or something needs to change.
This is what so many of us have been exposed to.
Our whole lives.
Yes?
We've learned from a young age that we're supposed to behave a certain way.
And if we don't,
What happens?
I mean,
This comes back to our early childhoods.
Our parents or our primary caregivers say,
Do this this way.
Don't be upset or don't cry or don't touch that thing.
And what do we feel as an infant?
But if we make that mistake,
If we cry,
If we do the thing we're not supposed to do,
We have the experience of love being taken away.
We have the experience of losing connection.
Is our primary need in our awareness.
Especially from an early age.
Of course,
Safety.
And our bodies being cared for is a primary need.
So is connection.
So from a young age we're conditioned that we need to be a certain way to be accepted,
Maybe to even feel safe.
To be loved,
We learn,
Many of us learn from an early age that our bodies needed to be a certain way.
For us to be accepted or loved.
We learned in our growing years that we needed to say things a certain way.
Or put on a certain personality.
To be accepted by our peers.
I mean,
Of course,
The list goes on and on here,
And I invite you to start to consider Wow,
In my life.
Whereas the outside influence my thinking that I need to be a certain way.
Whether that is the media,
Your family,
Your spiritual organizations,
Your friends,
Your work environment,
We have received so much conditioning that we need to be a certain way.
To be accepted and to be loved.
And it's okay.
It's okay.
I'd like to invite in this moment that it's okay.
Rather than viewing this as a mountain of problems.
Or like something is so wrong.
Can we take a moment just to acknowledge,
Okay,
This has been part of my experience.
This is part of the human experience.
And it's okay.
I have the power in this moment.
To recognize that although this may have been how my brain has been wired,
How I've learned to behave and be with myself.
That today I can start something new.
Even if it's something small.
As small as a thought.
Of leaning toward the possibility of acceptance,
This moment is a new moment of possibility.
And I'm curious,
My friends,
As you hear me speak about this awareness of why we might feel non-acceptance of ourselves.
Can you feel some compassion for you?
Some compassion that it makes sense.
That you might have.
Some challenge and feeling more self-accepting.
And maybe you can even extend that compassion and that awareness to others.
Wow.
If I'm having this experience,
It seems likely that others are as well.
This for me is one of the greatest gifts.
Of Her Holiness I mod.
Saima is helping us to become aware.
So we can move into compassion.
We can move into love.
When we're in non-acceptance,
Self-rejection,
Self-judgment,
What's happening inside?
Are we becoming more free and relaxed,
Or do we become more tight,
More tense,
More contracted?
We become more contracted,
Yes.
So as we move into being the embodiments of love that we are,
If you are open to considering them.
We create this greater ease,
This greater expansion.
This greater openness to life.
Openness to love,
The love from within and the love that we can share with others.
I even had a moment yesterday where the trees were blowing in the wind,
And I felt this tree.
You might think I'm wild here,
But I felt this tree just loving me.
It brought tears to my eyes.
We are one with all of life.
We are one with nature.
And even with each other.
So as we move into greater acceptance and greater love,
We create this environment within ourselves.
Of wellbeing.
Of greater peace,
And of course we know that then ripples out.
The world around us.
So how can we accept ourselves if we have all of this conditioning?
That has us believing the thoughts when we look in the mirror and we think,
Oh,
You're ugly,
Or this is wrong with you,
Or you're too old,
Or you're too young,
Whatever it is.
If we have these thoughts that seem really true,
That seem real,
That seem like they're our thoughts.
How can we start to shift our experience?
There's one other thing I wish to speak on briefly and then we're going to have an experience together.
I.
.
.
Have the great blessing of having Saima in my life for a very long time now.
And I remember You can imagine as an 18 year old,
There was a lot of self-judgment,
A lot of non-acceptance.
A lot of constantly feeling like I had to be different than I was.
And I remember I would go to programs.
Events with Saima.
And Sai Ma would say to me,
To say to all of us,
Not just me,
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with you.
And it was like it started to crack something open inside of me,
Crack open my heart.
Because for so long,
I had lived with this ongoing feeling that there's just something wrong with me.
And I know that some of you can relate to what I'm sharing.
And it was many years.
Many years.
Of being with Sai Ma,
Studying with Sai Ma,
Being in the grace and the love of Sai Ma.
Before this experience of there's something wrong with me finally started to dissolve completely.
And I knew in my being That what Saima shared with me shares with all of us that there's nothing wrong with you.
Is true.
So we'll start with this today.
We'll start with our minds.
And by using the power of thought.
Move toward the heart.
In a moment,
We're going to move into an affirmation meditation together.
For anyone who's unfamiliar,
Affirmations are these short statements that are spoken in a positive framework.
For example,
An affirmation might be,
I am love.
I am grateful.
My life is a beautiful life.
Affirmations are so powerful.
So,
So powerful.
One,
They have the ability to change what's happening.
In our day-to-day thinking so they have the ability to change the way that we are experiencing life.
And they also have the ability to actually change the brain.
When we have thought a thought over and over and over again like There's something wrong with me.
I'm not good enough.
I should be better.
The more that we have thought that thought,
The stronger the neural pathway or the connection is in the brain.
So for us to introduce a new thought that says something like,
I accept myself as I am.
I am worthy.
I am lovable.
At first it might feel very awkward.
It may feel very foreign.
It may feel completely unbelievable.
However,
I invite you to stay with it.
Because when we repeat affirmations ongoingly,
Not just today,
But continuously,
Continuously meaning continuing in our lives.
It will start to create these new neural pathways.
These new connections in the brain.
And although it may feel awkward or unfamiliar at first,
The more you have that thought.
That says there's nothing wrong with me.
The more you will actually start to believe it.
It will go from this foreign thing in your consciousness to something that starts to not only be believable,
But feel true at a point.
So today we're going to use affirmations to introduce new ways of thinking or maybe encourage and more anchor.
These different ways of thinking.
Knowing that through repetition,
We can actually start to have a new experience in our daily lives.
Of greater self-acceptance.
And I'd love to invite as we move into this experience.
That there's nothing wrong with you.
That you don't have to Meditate.
Be a good person.
You don't have to eat all of the right things or exercise or have enough money to be seen in a certain light,
To be worthy,
To be good enough.
You are worthy.
Just as you are.
You're worthy because you exist.
You're lovable just as you are no matter the mistakes you've made.
No matter the challenges you experience.
You are.
Worthy.
Lovable,
Good enough.
Just as you are in this moment.
We all make mistakes.
We are all having this messy human experience together.
I invite you to find a comfortable seated position if possible.
Of course,
If you can't sit upright,
You're welcome to lie down or take whatever position your body needs.
Let's roll one shoulder up back and down and then the other shoulder up.
Back and down.
Allow the eyes to close,
Or if that's uncomfortable,
Just look.
Maybe downward with the gaze.
Relax.
Feel the feet on the ground or maybe you feel them tucked underneath you.
Take a slow,
Deep breath in.
Pause and hold the breath for just a moment.
And exhale all of the air.
Inhale slowly,
Deeply.
Feel the belly and the ribcage expanding.
And hold the breath for a moment.
Relax the face.
Exhale completely.
One more breath like this.
Inhale deeply.
Hold the breath.
Relax the shoulders.
Exhale,
Let all of the air out.
Breathe naturally now.
Feel the body becoming heavier,
More relaxed with each breath.
Allow a slight space between the teeth,
Maybe the lips.
So there's a softening through the jaw.
The throne.
As you hear each affirmation.
I invite you to repeat it to yourself.
Either silently or out loud.
And maybe even conjure the emotion.
As if you did believe this affirmation.
As if it is the truth of how you think,
Of how you feel.
Welcome each affirmation.
Speak to yourself.
With kindness.
I am here.
And that is enough.
I allow myself to be.
Exactly as I am.
I am worthy of love.
Just as I am.
I do not need to earn my belonging.
I am already whole.
I welcome.
All parts of myself.
With compassion.
Even the part.
That I don't understand are worthy of love.
I hold myself.
With tenderness.
I release the need to be perfect.
I am allowed to be a messy human.
I am allowed to grow at my own pace.
I trust myself more and more each day.
I honor my feelings.
Without judgment.
I am safe to feel my emotions.
I am enough.
Even in uncertainty.
I am enough even as I am healing.
I am enough.
Exactly as I am.
I forgive myself.
For past misunderstandings.
I am learning and growing.
And that is beautiful.
I give myself grace.
I give myself.
Grace.
I choose kindness toward myself.
I speak to myself with love.
I release comparison.
My path is my own.
I am right where I need to be.
I embrace who I am becoming.
I trust the unfolding of my life.
I am held,
Supported and loved.
I am worthy.
Just as I am.
I am enough.
Just as I am.
I am.
At peace.
Within myself.
If you can,
I invite you.
To place your hands over your heart center.
Lovingly holding your own body.
Your heart.
Breathe deeply.
Welcoming these affirmations.
Welcoming kindness.
Love and acceptance toward yourself.
We are all doing our very best in this human experience.
Acknowledge yourself for that.
I acknowledge that I'm doing my best in every moment.
What of how you are today,
How you were yesterday,
And how you are tomorrow?
Is enough.
Just as you are.
Let's take another deep,
Full breath in and out.
Slowly move the body,
Maybe the fingers and toes.
Maybe the rest.
At all there is.
If your eyes are closed,
I invite to slowly open them.
Thank you.
Self-acceptance can be such a bomb.
It can take us from an experience of stress.
Tension,
Disconnection,
Depression.
To feeling peace,
Ease,
A grace with ourselves.
Oftentimes affirmations feel foreign,
They feel untrue.
They feel awkward to say,
And that's because they're unfamiliar territory.
Many of us are so familiar or accustomed to speaking to ourselves harshly or judgmentally.
That to speak with ourselves with so much kindness feels silly.
However,
As I mentioned,
The more that you practice saying affirmations like this the more it will become easier.
And then one day you'll find,
Wow,
I can kind of believe this.
And then even beyond that,
Wow,
This is true.
I know this is true.
Thank you for being here.
