Unveiling The Secret Of True Love: 3 Ways To Find The One

Three ways to use your intuition to find the one.

All right,

Let's talk about this very important topic,

Intuition.

This is a basis for how I help women because a lot of the women I've worked with and myself included over the years have really had a lot of trust issues and the main trust issue has been around not trusting your own intuition.

And this is due to insecurities,

Having a lot of insecurities and kind of spiraling around what the other person wants as opposed to figuring out and diving into those insecurities and trusting your intuition.

So the way we get further away from what we want is to focus on the other person and to let our insecurities run the show.

In other words,

You know,

Does he like me?

What's he thinking?

Should I go out with him?

What if he doesn't like this or what if he doesn't like that or am I too old,

Am I too fat,

Am I too skinny,

Am I too this?

And spinning out on those insecurities rather than really tuning into your intuition and letting it guide you to exactly what you want to create and not having that loving and secure relationship that feels like home.

So how do we use our intuition?

This is a very important thing because we often talk about dating apps being,

You know,

A waste of time and there's only fake accounts and they're all married or they only want one thing.

Well,

The way to,

First way to use your intuition is in discerning and figuring out what is going to be the best use of your time and who do you want to talk to and go on coffee dates with or meet as opposed to the ones who are just playing games.

Now,

One little caveat,

You cannot stop people from playing games but you can figure it out much faster and not get entangled and not get involved or not,

You know,

Spend weeks dating a very unavailable,

Emotionally unavailable man and then realize like,

Oh,

I should have listened to my intuition.

Okay,

So how do we use it?

First way when you're dating is to be very intentional and get clear on what you want.

Your intuition is going to guide you but only based on what you want.

So when you're clear,

Like,

So in other words,

You can't go to New York on a plane if the plane doesn't know where it is.

So obviously the plane's got to know that,

You know,

You're starting in LA and you're going to go to New York.

There you go.

That's your map.

You're like,

I'm single.

This is what I want.

This is the kind of lifestyle I want.

This is how I want to live my life.

This is how I want to feel.

This is my,

You know,

Map of my life,

The way I want to create it.

So now you know where you are.

So in other words,

Right now I'm single and I've had,

You know,

This kind of dating experience and I tend to get stuck in this kind of a relationship or I tend to attract this type of person.

So that's where you are right now.

That's your,

You know,

Spot now.

Your destination is in a relationship with this type of person,

Feeling this way and doing this and et cetera.

So now your intuition,

Which is really a GPS or a guidance system,

Can say,

Oh,

Hey,

We're heading in the right direction with this one,

Or this feels good to continue to explore,

Or this is going to lead you to what you want.

So your intuition is giving you this nice open feeling.

So that's the other thing you're going to have to know about how to use your intuition is what's your yes and what's your no.

So now we're getting back to what we want to do here with the first way,

Which is dating.

Now you've got your map,

You've got your GPS ready to go.

Your intuition's ready to tell you,

You know what your yes and your no is.

Now you're going to start getting intentional.

So you're going to go on the dating apps.

You're going to say to yourself before you go on,

Okay,

My intention is to meet three interesting men this week.

I'm going to go on the dating app and I'm going to spend an hour or half an hour,

Whatever it is,

45 minutes,

Looking through some messages and looking at profiles with the intention of XYZ.

I'm looking for this.

You can be flexible.

You can say,

Well,

This person doesn't have everything I'm looking for,

But they seem interesting.

Ask yourself,

Tune in,

Maybe close your eyes,

Say,

Okay,

Is this heading in the direction I want?

Do you get a yes?

Do you get a no?

Move forward.

Okay,

I'm going to message this person.

Then go like that on the dating app and be a little bit flexible,

But very intentional.

So you're focused,

But you can also bend a little bit.

So that's the way you would use it for the dating app.

Then next phase,

Second way you'd use your intuition is on actually the date.

So you go on a coffee date with someone,

You're like,

This person is interesting.

I got a yes about this.

You meet them and you're like,

Oh,

This person seems really nice.

And I like this date and I'm having fun.

Also asking yourself,

Always going back to yourself.

Yes,

You're going to be attentive.

You're going to be open.

You're going to be present with the person.

First and foremost,

You're going to be using your intuition.

How do you feel right now?

Are you getting a yes?

And this is not based on what the person is saying.

Your intuition is never based on what the person's saying.

It's never based on surface things like maybe how they show up,

How they're dressed,

Nothing like that.

What your intuition is based on is as a whole,

You've already mapped it out.

Is this heading in the direction that you want to go in?

Is this going to help you create what you want or not?

It could have nothing to do with that person whatsoever,

But the intuition,

Your intuition is going to know and gauge in a way that we may not fully understand big picture wise that this is not really going to head in the right direction.

You need to trust that and say,

Okay,

I'm getting a very clear no.

Even though the person's nice,

Even though they're saying all the right things,

I'm getting a no and I'm going to honor that knowing that there's plenty of guys out there that I can go on dates with.

And I'm really committed to my vision of what I want.

And you can say whatever polite way you want to say,

Thank you so much.

I really had a great time getting to know you,

But I'm going to continue dating and continue the search.

And that's all you have to say.

You can do that by text.

You can do it when you go home.

It doesn't matter how you do it.

Just doing it with integrity and honesty is really the best thing.

And there's no right or wrong with that.

Ghosting people is not the best way to do it.

I would really go with speaking your truth and getting more into practice of saying what you want and what you don't want.

Even if you're a little shy about it,

You can always text them or phone them rather than doing a face-to-face with them if that seems a little bit too confrontational or too scary.

Then a third way you're going to use your intuition is say there's another scenario where you go on a coffee date and you're like,

Wow,

This feels really good.

I like this person.

And you're getting that yes,

You're getting that motion,

The momentum,

The feeling of moving forward.

So you continue on another date.

You go for dinner,

Maybe you have another date.

And you're like,

Well,

I really like this.

The way this is going,

This feels good.

This feels safe and comfortable and yet it feels exciting at the same time.

So I feel like I'm grounded on planet earth and yet I'm still feeling excited and feeling expansive in my heart.

That's always the best way to tell that you're not going into that sort of love addiction or high where you're just on another planet.

And you're just like,

Wow,

This is so amazing,

But you're not on planet earth.

You're not feeling grounded and saying,

Maybe this is not your intuition.

It would be something else that's gearing the fight or flight or that adrenaline rush.

And so that's the difference I want you to gauge.

You're feeling good,

But you're feeling comfortable and you're feeling in your body and you're feeling safe and secure.

So now this third way to use your intuition is to say,

Do I wanna continue with this or not?

You wanna use your intuition based on you and what you're feeling and what is coming to you and what's your yes and what's your no,

Not based on the other person.

This is uncomfortable for especially women or people-pleasing,

Women with people-pleasing tendencies,

Which I had where I was like,

No,

I have to give them the benefit of the doubt,

Even though my intuition is going off and saying,

No,

Don't do it.

I was like,

Oh,

But that's mean,

That's not being nice or I'm not giving them enough of a chance or I'm gonna miss out or not on an opportunity because I'm not giving them enough of a chance rather than listening to my intuition,

Which is about my life and my goals and what I wanna create,

Not about the other person.

Do I wanna live based on what's good for the other person in the moment?

What might make them feel better in the moment,

But it's going to completely high-wash my own life plans?

Well,

I used to go with the latter,

Is just to go with what was good for the guy in that moment.

I don't live my life that way anymore and I don't want you to do that either.

Base your decisions on your intuition and how it's feeling,

How you're feeling and what it's telling you and listen to it.

The more you listen to it,

The more you're gonna trust it and the stronger it's gonna be and the more of a,

Like the evidence that you're gonna get that you're going in the right direction.

The more sure and certain you're going to feel about your intuition and knowing that it's always got your best interests at heart in every single moment.

So that's a third way you'd use it and asking yourself,

Do I continue dating this person or have been on three dates or four dates and they kind of want to get serious or like take it to the next step and I don't feel like I want to and my intuition is saying no,

Then say no.

You know,

The last fear I'll talk about is women think,

Well,

If I say no to this,

It's like my last chance,

Which is also not true at all.

Lean into your intuition,

Knowing that your intuition's not gonna lead you to being alone for the rest of your life or gonna tell you to turn down the last man on earth.

That's not what's happening.

You're being led towards what you want and you have to learn to trust that and have the faith in that.

So those are the three ways that you're gonna use your intuition in dating.

To recap,

It's in the dating stage in,

Or sorry,

Dating app stage and online dating and then second way is when you're actually on the date and then the third way is if you wanna continue dating this person.

Hopefully this has been helpful.

This is Truly Eleanor,

Bye for now.