Hello and welcome back to day 26 of a 30 day journey through soul curriculum,
Showing through my own soul art journey,
Which I'm still on.
This is the soul art piece and I am still on the journey with the intention.
I am showing up for myself as I'm moving through.
I'm in the middle of a spirit action.
When that's done,
The journey will be done,
But until that's done,
Everything coming through is still part of,
I am showing up for myself today.
I'm going to talk a bit about money.
Money,
Abundance.
I had a soul shamanism journey about a week ago and what happened in that and how it's showing up for myself.
Sit with me and get grounded for a minute.
I felt this morning I wanted to do a little bit of a clearing breath so let's go ahead and do that.
It's just inhaling through your nose and then when you're exhaling you're gonna breathe through your lips a cool stream of air like you're blowing out a candle.
Okay so let's just do that like three times.
You might want to close your eyes,
But you don't have to.
You can keep a soft gaze.
Inhaling through your nose.
Cool stream of air.
Letting go,
Releasing anything you're holding on to,
Clearing your channel.
Inhaling through your nose.
Maybe even swallow at the top.
And blow out through your lips.
Releasing,
Softening,
Finding ease.
And one more time,
Inhaling through your nose.
Swallowing.
Blowing cool stream of air out through your lips.
Just bring a hand to your heart.
Just settle in here.
You can feel your hand on your heart,
The warmth of your hand,
The weight of your hand,
The pressure of your hand.
You are here.
You are safe.
A lot of people feel unsafe when we talk money,
So let's start here,
Safe,
We're here in our body,
Right?
Sigh.
All right,
So have you ever seen when you're at an opening of a store or something in your local town where they bring out these big golden scissors and they have the tape that they cut?
When I was on my journey,
That was one of the main images and symbols that I had.
Those big,
Huge,
Enormously absurd scissors to cut this little ribbit.
That is where we're going to go today.
So I had this class.
And to give you just a little backstory,
Because it does come in later in the story.
I had lost my parents seven days apart in 2021.
I lost my mom.
Seven days later,
I lost my dad.
I was the only child.
We were living with them in the house.
It was super traumatic.
It was during COVID protocols in the hospital and we were not allowed.
We were kept away like there were so many things that were traumatic I am still working through and I'll probably be working through for most of my life And I've been carrying that grief.
I've been carrying that grief.
We're coming up on five years in September I'm showing up for myself has brought up so much of my grief journey I had started in my lake in my soul shamanism journey while I was there clearing out my lake my mom showed up at the edge of the lake and took me out of my lake and brought me to a clearing right at the edge of the clearing was a rainbow bridge and on the other side of that rainbow bridge were masses of people.
And I instinctually knew they were my ancestors,
My spirit team,
The people who were there supporting me.
And they were just looking on.
There were just so many of them.
I was taken aback by it.
And they handed me a pair of enormously absurdly big golden scissors.
And then my mom took me to the opening,
The clearing,
And we sat on the ground.
As I was sitting on the grass,
All of a sudden,
I noticed out of nowhere,
There were a bunch of balloons that were around us that were like coming out of the ground,
Right,
Like growing from the ground,
These balloons,
And they were big brown balloons.
I started instinctually picking up the stories of my money stories and naming each balloon and using the golden scissors to cut the line down to the ground at the lowest point I could.
Some of the money stories I had.
I'm not deserving of money.
Cut it.
I'm not worthy of money.
Cut it.
Money isn't spiritual.
Who has that?
Does anyone have that?
Money isn't spiritual.
Money is bad.
Cut them both.
Money causes strife.
And as I'm cutting these,
I'm realizing that these are things that I was given by my parents,
By my ancestors.
My father grew up very,
Very poor,
And so money tore the family apart.
So I had all of these ancestral beliefs around money,
Right?
Money isn't my thing.
I'm not the one who makes the money.
Cut,
Cut.
I don't need money.
Cut.
Not going to happen,
Right?
So I was cutting these,
And my mom was sitting with me.
And then all of a sudden,
My mom reached over,
And she took the scissors from me.
And she caught a bullet.
And it was taking money too seriously.
And she cut that.
And I want to sit with that for a minute,
Because that was like her in my journey,
Owning one of the beliefs that came from her that was part of me,
Right?
Always having to take it seriously.
Can't be frivolous,
Right?
Like that kind of a thing.
And it's not the end of the world.
It's not the end of the world,
Right?
And that was hers,
That heaviness she let go of.
More balloons kept rising.
More balloons kept.
.
.
I mean,
It was like endless.
It felt endless.
And somewhere in there,
This balloon had emerged that if I had had enough money,
Could have saved my parents.
Okay,
This guilt rising this like they never saw me really be really successful in money,
Right?
And if I just had enough money,
I could have saved them.
I needed to cut that.
I had to sit with it for a minute.
My mother was like,
You couldn't have saved us.
There's really not much I could have done with money that wouldn't have changed anything.
My mother sat there with me and held me through that.
And I cut it with those big,
Absurd,
Ridiculous looking scissors.
What I realized underneath that as I cut that is that I had created a bridge.
Between money and death.
OK,
This is I never even realized I had this.
I think I knew the other money stories,
But I didn't realize that I had connected and sewed and woven together money and death.
That was my story.
That was my story.
I grew my own balloon once my parents died,
That money comes with death,
That if I have a lot of money,
Of course,
It's going to come from someone dying.
All of all of this kind of messy in between between money and death.
It was going to cost something to have money.
It's going to cost something and it's going to cost something that I don't know if I'm I'm willing to give up.
Man,
Once I could see it,
I could cut it.
Once I sat with that balloon and I looked at it in my journey,
Once I sat with it,
I was like,
I could cut it once I understood it.
And that's when my mom,
She all of a sudden,
Like none of the balloons were there anymore.
And I could see sprouts in the ground,
Like new growth and they weren't balloons.
And she just held me.
And we went and we ended up on a couch and I was sitting and leaning on her and she was just holding me.
And I got to exhale,
I got to be held,
I got to be supported.
I went back to my late.
And I felt this enormous clarity and clear vision.
And then what's funny is I ended that journey and the next day,
I remember my mom's was don't take money too seriously.
And the next day my husband says,
Do you want to go to the casino?
And I was like,
I don't know if I want to go to the casino.
That means like money serious.
And I'm like,
I just went through this journey.
Maybe I should just go.
Maybe I just need to go.
Maybe I just need to let it go.
It's not that I won any money,
But I had the most amazing insights and learning from my own process going to the casino.
It was,
It was,
It was mind blowing.
What happened and it wasn't even money related but it was like I let myself go.
We all carry money stories and whether they're ours or they're our ancestors or they're conditioned because we watched our parents with money or we watched our grandparents with money or whatever it be,
There is a relationship that we have between money and yours is going to be different than mine.
I don't think I had that relationship between money and death until my parents died.
Oftentimes when I work with my ancestors,
I would say,
I want money,
But no one can die from it.
And I just,
I had remembered all of this,
Right?
You have stories too,
Whether it's unworthy,
Undeserving,
Money isn't spiritual,
I don't make the money,
Whatever it be,
Maybe it's money and death for you as well.
These beliefs,
They can be rooted in our unconscious and our subconscious.
And the way to work through them is to shift into ceremony,
To name it,
To cut it,
And then Let someone you love hold you afterward.
Bring the safety once you cut it.
Does that make sense to everyone?
And you know what's kind of funny is the next morning I woke up and I found $3,
000.
Random,
Don't know where it came from,
Won't even ask.
Not even going to ask.
Not even going to ask where it came from.
Just came,
Showed up in my bank account.
You know,
It was like the morning after.
And I hadn't even done any work toward abundance.
I didn't do any work toward anything.
I just did that cutting.
And that wasn't even my purpose of going into the journey to begin with.
So it was really beautiful.
Once we cut all of these cords,
We can stop bracing around receiving.
We can begin to stop waiting for the cost.
For me,
It was waiting for the cost that was going to come if I made money,
Right?
And you can just let the money be yours.
So I want to offer a practice today.
We're going to use those golden scissors because they were just so absurdly wonderful and they were handed to me by my ancestors.
And then at the end of my journey,
Just really quickly,
They handed them back to me.
They didn't want them back.
Let's go into this practice.
Close your eyes,
Take a breath.
I know money is an unsafe place for a lot of people,
So just inhaling.
If anything came up for you while I was talking,
Like clear it,
Let it go,
Get it through your lips.
With that clearing breath like you're blowing out a candle,
Right,
That cool stream of air.
Do it again,
Inhaling through your nose.
Anything that you came up that you're holding on to,
Blow it out through your lips like a clearing breath here.
And just bring to mind one belief that you have around money.
It could be really anything in any arena.
One belief that you have around money.
It might be an obvious one,
It might be one that is echoed through what you grew up watching with people who are taking care of you.
Or it might be something more new,
Like the one that I had.
It might be something that you've said out loud before or that you haven't even said yet.
Just come up with one belief about money.
And gently ask yourself,
Whose voice is this?
Is it yours?
Is it your fathers,
Your mothers,
Your grandparents?
Is it a pattern that's come through many generations?
Don't accuse.
We're not blaming.
We're not shaming.
This just is.
This just is.
This is human life.
Right?
And we get to change those patterns.
So who does it sound like?
Whose voice is this behind this belief?
And just notice,
Is.
.
.
The Belief Is it true?
If it's familiar,
Don't ask.
If you've experienced it this way before.
Just is it true?
Does it feel true?
Does that belief feel true to you?
Right now,
In this moment.
Take a breath,
Inhaling.
And exhaling.
Inhaling.
And on your exhale,
Imagine that belief on a balloon.
Imagine it with a string.
And you have the scissors.
You have those absurdly large,
Big,
Golden scissors.
Now you don't have to cut this string if you're not ready to right now.
You can feel instead the weight of the scissors in your hands.
The ability of what you have with those scissors.
You can feel the size of them.
Notice the glint of gold in the scissors.
And you can know the purpose of these scissors.
And if you want to cut it.
Go and get it.
Cut the string of that balloon.
If you want to wait till later,
You can come back.
You can be with that balloon with these scissors.
Whenever you're ready.
Inhaling through your nose.
Blowing it out through your lips.
And while you're here,
I'm going to ask a few questions.
You can keep your eyes closed.
You can let these questions land.
You can push them away,
You can leave them in the background.
What is one belief you carry about money that you absorbed early So you assumed that it was true.
And where did it come from?
Whose voice does it speak in?
Have you ever connected receiving to loss?
Consciously or not.
Like receiving is going to cost something.
Like it comes with a price.
And what would it feel like to just let something good be yours?
Without knowing where exactly it came from,
Without waiting for the cost,
Right?
And if your ancestors were on the other side of a rainbow bridge.
With their hands out,
Wanting to help,
Wanting to hand you those golden scissors.
What would you ask for?
Take another deep breath.
Blow it out through your lips.
And when you're ready,
You can open your eyes.
We are 26 days in,
If you have been with me.
I am so grateful.
You should be grateful to yourself because you come not knowing what I'm going to be talking about day to day.
Half the time,
I don't know what I'm going to be talking about because I'm following this journey.
These things are coming up.
As I go.
I'm just kind of transmitting it to you,
You know,
As we go.
I never know quite where I'm going to be.
And if you're catching up,
All the days are labeled with the themes in my Insight Timer page,
In my video track.
So they're day one,
Day two,
Day three,
And you can see what the themes are.
This one today,
This is deep.
This is deep.
This is ancestral stuff for me.
The fact that I had realized that death and money were connected,
Intertwined in my subconscious.
And that the minute I get money,
The minute things go good,
That something's gonna be caught,
Like it's gonna cost me something,
Is huge for me.
I don't know how many of y'all feel that one,
But that was like,
When I realized it,
I didn't even know it was lurking in the shadows.
I didn't even know.
But I got to cut them,
I got to put it down,
I got to be held.
Don't forget that.
When you do cutting that balloon,
Make sure you find someone to hold you,
Whether it's in your journey,
Right?
If it's in your home.
Find the safety once you do it.
And the safety in your body.
So yeah,
It was a big one.
It was a big one,
And it is showing up for myself because money is a part of showing up for yourself.
Learning to accept and receive and be,
Right,
And clear the subconscious stuff that's not even yours,
That has probably been in your family for generations.
You are clearing it for you,
But you're also clearing it for your kids,
And you're clearing it for your ancestors,
And everyone is supporting you in that.
Thank you so much for coming along.
I hope you have a beautiful day,
My friends.
Namaste.
