Hi,
I'm Carla.
Today,
We're going to do a deeper dive into self-compassion.
This meditation will begin with some information on self-compassion.
And then we'll move into how to find a portal to self-compassion.
And then we'll have a meditation.
Or practice of self-compassion.
So we have your head,
Body,
Heart taken care of for the next few minutes.
So what is healthy self-compassion?
Well,
It's recognizing your own suffering without minimizing or exaggerating it.
It's offering yourself understanding instead of harsh judgment.
It's taking responsibility for your growth in a supportive,
Not punitive way.
Kristin Neff is a trailblazer on research related to self-compassion.
She says that self-compassion means being more willing to experience difficult feelings and to acknowledge them as valid and important.
The beauty of self-compassion is that instead of trying to get rid of bad feelings and replacing them with good ones,
Positive emotions are generated by embracing our suffering with tenderness and care,
So that light and dark are experienced simultaneously.
Her research shows that higher levels of self-compassion correlate with lower anxiety and depression.
Greater motivation and resilience.
And better relationships,
Less defensive,
More secure attachment.
How can we move into self-compassion?
When is it time for self-compassion?
There are many portals into self-compassion.
Sometimes there are obvious moments of suffering that create an opportunity for self-compassion.
Other times,
Our bodies might alert us.
Of the opportunity for self-compassion.
It might be tight shoulders,
A clenched jaw,
Shallow breathing.
Many different signals to pay attention to yourself with compassion.
Let's move into a meditation to help.
You practice when it's time for self-compassion.
First I'll explain the movement through the method so that you can use it on repeat when you need it.
I took Kristin Neff's direction and used the word time.
To remind me of the process.
You can use it when it's time for self-compassion.
So in the word time,
T-i-m-e,
T is for tough.
This is a moment that I recognize as tough.
This is a moment of suffering.
This is tough.
This sucks.
I hate this.
Acknowledging this moment of suffering.
I is for I'm not alone.
Life is full of suffering.
It is a shared human experience.
In this moment,
There's someone else who is also suffering.
We create sort of an invisible community of those who are also suffering,
Going through their tough stuff.
M is for mantra.
This is where we create guidance or a prayer for ourselves.
May I have strength.
May I be strong.
May I be kind to myself.
Whatever it is that you know you need.
It's an opportunity to repeat the mantra.
So that it sinks in.
We want to marinate in its guidance and goodness.
Let it soak into our souls.
E is when we enter the present moment,
Our lives filled with self-compassion.
Acknowledging our suffering,
And taking care of ourselves through it.
So let's give it a try.
We're going to begin the meditation.
So I want you to find a comfortable position.
You can be sitting upright on your favorite chair.
Or on the floor.
I love to sit on my prayer cushion.
For extra support.
You can also be lying down for this meditation.
Whatever feels the most comfortable for you in this moment.
As you find your sweet spot of comfort.
Stay there.
Take a deep breath in.
And release that breath with a long exhale out.
Now as you close your beautiful eyes,
Take another deep breath in.
And release.
Surrender that breath as you allow your shoulders to drop and your body to find a bit more comfort.
As you notice your body finding more comfort,
You might also become more aware of other discomforts.
Notice them.
They might be your portal into deeper discoveries.
If you become aware of a discomfort,
Maybe you can put a loving hand on that part as we continue our self-compassion practice.
Let's continue to breathe.
And find deeper comfort.
Imagine a warm light shining above you.
Let that embrace of that warm light cascade down your body as you sense more and more relaxation.
At the warmth.
Melt your tightened muscles of your head and face.
Your jaw.
Breathe as you feel that warmth continue down your neck and shoulders.
Inviting you to deeper comfort.
Feel the warmth continue down through your torso and your back and all the organs within you.
Relax them as you breathe.
Feel the warmth and comfort continue through your hips,
Thighs,
Knees,
Ankles,
And finally your feet.
Breathe in this new comfort.
As we practice self-compassion,
We will bring to mind a moment of suffering.
It can be something big or small.
Do not judge it.
Allow it to be recognized.
Thirst and hunger can be moments of suffering.
Acknowledging physical pain,
Grief pain,
And trauma can also be moments of suffering.
Allow your moment of suffering to be recognized in this moment.
If you have a place on your body that you notice discomfort,
Keep your hand there.
And if you'd like to.
Put your hand on your heart.
It can offer a sense of I'm with you.
When you have skin-to-skin contact,
Even with ourselves,
We stimulate feel-good hormones within.
And this is a beautiful complement to our self-compassion practice.
So as your hand rests on your heart or that other place that needed it,
Take another deep breath in.
Let us acknowledge that our moment of suffering is tough.
You might say,
This is tough.
This stinks.
This is hard.
Acknowledge the suffering.
Now as we breathe,
We acknowledge the I in time.
We acknowledge that.
I'm not alone.
Life is full of suffering.
There are others who are suffering in this moment.
I'm not alone.
M is for the mantra,
Maybe you use may I be kind to myself and breathe.
You might find a better fitting mantra just for you in your own voice.
Or maybe you want to choose a different one.
I'll give you some options.
May I allow myself to receive.
May I live in peace.
May I be free.
May I love myself just as I am.
May I be here for myself.
May I be strong.
May I have courage.
May I know my own goodness.
May I have a sense of well-being.
May I be free from suffering.
May I dwell in peace.
May I be safe and protected.
May I be free from mental suffering or distress.
May I be happy.
May I be free of pain.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I live with ease.
Imagine what your heart longs to hear and create your own mantra or use one of those.
So now I just want you to breathe and repeat your mantra a few times.
As you acknowledge this kindness coming from you.
Maybe say thank you to you.
You are filled with self-compassion.
Allow yourself to know what that feels like.
Breathe and notice.
As our beautiful meditation comes to a close.
Let us become aware of our bodies once again.
Maybe wiggle your toes.
Roll your shoulders.
Notice your hands.
Allow your sense of space that you are in.
As you transition back to your present moment.
Gently open your eyes.
Look around.
Be present.
Thank you for exploring your self-compassion with me.
Join me again in this meditation whenever it is needed,
Or use your own version of time when you need self-compassion.
May you have peace and take extra good care.
